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Kai had always had a complicated relationship with water.
He was the Master of Fire after all. Water and ice were his natural enemies – it made sense that he wouldn’t react well to the two. But even before he’d discovered his power, he’d never always been on good terms with it. Water had been both his best friend and his worst enemy.
Splashing around in the bath as a child, his mother’s twinkling laughter echoing in the tiny bathroom.
Standing onboard the deck of the Bounty late at night, staring out at the pitch-black ocean, leaning against the railing, trying to calm down after a terrible nightmare.
Struggling to keep himself and Lloyd afloat in a terrifying rushing river.
Laughing as he and Cole surprised Jay and Zane with water guns in the middle of training, their loud shrieks echoing through the monastery as the four chased each other around the long halls.
Wandering the Never Realm, shivering so much he felt as though he’d been dropped in an icy bath.
Splashing around at the beach, tackling Jay into the water and building the biggest sandcastle ever.
Watching his home city be completely flooded, staring out the window at small fish thirty stories up, feeling his stomach turn.
“What are you talking about? You’re not going anywhere.”
Now it brought him pain to even think about it.
He’d been arguing with Jay, some stupid fight about a broken plate. Tempers had been high since the memorial two weeks ago. The argument had turned into a scuffle, with Jay nearly tackling him and the pair wrestling in the kitchen. By the time Cole and Zane had pulled them apart, blood had been spilt and venomous words had been said that couldn’t be taken back.
For once, Kai decided to be the bigger person and went out for a walk, ignoring Cole and Zane’s protests that it was pouring rain outside. He couldn’t stay in that monastery a second longer. Not with Jay on the verge of snapping every ten seconds, or Zane becoming emotionless, or Lloyd hiding in his room constantly, or Cole struggling to stay strong.
Their home felt so empty, even though they were only missing one person.
They were falling apart without her.
Kai didn’t pay attention to where he was going, feeling the cold rain drip down his skin, nearly slipping down the stairs as he ran as fast as he could. His thoughts were messy and loud, and he couldn’t think straight. Blood was steadily dripping from his nose where Jay had punched him in the face.
It seemed to take him an eon to reach the bottom of the stairs, getting as far away from that place as he could. He hurried into the trees, thunder echoing in his ears.
He didn’t care where he was going. But he couldn’t stay home. Not when she wasn’t there.
He could feel the heat under his skin, his element keeping him warm against the cold. His gi was slowly getting soaked, water wrapping around him in an icy cold hug.
It was as if Nya was there with him.
He stopped right where he was, some beaten pathway in the woods, and gazed up into the sky.
Raindrops fell into his eyes as he looked up to the silvery clouds, seeing lightning lit up the sky. Jay and Nya might not be together anymore, but their elements were still eternally connected.
All that stuff about electricity and water not going together didn’t make sense when it came to that pair. They were two connected halves, yin and yang, sea and storm, day and night. Eternally connected.
But even Jay hadn’t been enough to stop her from making that choice.
The rain was soothing, like a shower after a long day, and Kai choked down a sob.
Why did you have to leave us, sis? Why did you have to ruin one of the only good things left in my life?
How could she have just… left? Just given up on them like that? After everything they’d done?
The rain was persistent, beating down heavier and heavier as Kai felt tears in his eyes. He watched the clouds pour and began to let himself break.
That bastard Kalamaar… he’d been the reason Nya left. If it wasn’t for his stupid plan, and that Wojira beast… he’d still have his little sister. His team wouldn’t be crumbling like a sandcastle. And they wouldn’t be struggling like this.
Kai felt his stomach twist as he slowly let hot tears fall. Nothing mattered anymore. All there was to feel was constant heartache and internal pain. A visible gap in their team where their sister and friend should be standing.
He wasn’t used to the empty space. His little sister had been a part of his life for so long. Through every battle, through every win and loss, through all the tears and laughter and chaos, she was there, with a new invention or a determined smile, ready to knock some sense into him. The cool and adaptable water to his hot and energetic fire.
His knees buckled, and he fell into the mud, the lump in his throat getting bigger as a sob escaped his mouth. He couldn’t tell whether he was crying anymore with how many raindrops were falling onto his face.
Every drop was a piece of Nya. A piece of the sister he’d lost. A piece of the family he was never getting back.
She was gone. Gone forever. Never coming back.
All those years, all those fights, all those talks… he’d taken them all for granted.
Thoughts of their childhood flashed through Kai’s mind. Comforting her after nightmares… his horrible attempts at breakfast… arguing about chores… that silly countershot game they’d played when he’d needed a break from forging… all the teasing and jokes…
He thought of the day their parents had disappeared. He’d been six. She’d been three. They’d been chasing a pretty yellow butterfly, but when they’d heard a loud clanging sound, they’d hurried back inside, only to find a discarded sword and an empty forge.
Nya had been in tears, wanting to know where Mom and Dad had gone. After searching the whole house together twice, Kai had felt a hollow feeling in his six-year-old stomach.
They were gone.
So he’d made his baby sister a promise. A pinky promise. The most secure promise ever.
I pinky promise I won’t leave you. We’ll stay together. I’ll look out for ya.
Kai never liked breaking promises, particularly big or meaningful ones. It was his duty as a ninja and as an older brother to keep his promises. Whether it was swearing he’d look after Lloyd when his father died, or promising Nya he’d look out for her when their parents went missing, he fought to ensure he never broke his promises.
And he’d failed.
He was the worse big brother ever.
He could never be enough to protect his siblings.
Kai could feel the mud soaking into his clothes, dirt mixing with water, Cole and Nya’s elements connecting in their own unique way. He felt a wave of nausea rising in his throat, his body feeling as broken as the promise he couldn’t keep.
He’d grieved before. Plenty of times. He knew the empty feeling well, the physical pain, the heavy guilt. He’d felt it when he realized his parents weren’t coming home and he and Nya were all alone. When Zane sacrificed himself to defeat the Overlord. When Cole had disappeared through the Rift. When Master Wu was lost in time. When Lloyd was on the brink of death after trying to fight his father. Every time it happened, he’d felt like he couldn’t get any lower, like all there was left was pain.
I have to go now. I will remember you.
Kai screamed.
He screamed louder than the thunder, louder than the trees. He screamed as though he’d been stabbed in the heart twenty times. He screamed with every part of his lungs, wishing more than anything that he could go back in time and stop her. A scream of pure pain, pure rage. The scream of a kid forced to be a hero when all he’d wanted was to protect his family. He screamed until his throat went hoarse and all he could do was let out a frustrated grunt as he punched the ground, slumping to his knees.
Different words echoed through his head.
Failure. Weak. Gone. Brother. Useless. Broken. Idiot. Promises. Family. Ocean. Cold. Dead. Sister. Pathetic. Fault. Sad. Protect.
“KAI!”
Someone was calling out for him. But he couldn’t bring himself to move. Every part of him felt cold and numb. Like a dead body, still and unmoving.
So this was how he died. Alone, in the icy cold and rain, half covered in mud and his own blood. At least this time there would be a body to bury.
At this point, he didn’t care. A world without Nya wasn’t a world worth living in.
He heard raised voices and loud footsteps. All he did was stare at the ground, waiting. Waiting for the rain to swallow him, for the sky to drown him, for the heavens to finally have mercy and let him see Nya again.
A flash of white. Hurried footsteps. And then icy blue eyes, staring at him, a silver hand lifting his chin to the sky.
“Kai, can you hear us?”
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?”
“Oh shit, I thought he was dead!”
“Fuck, this is all my fault…”
Zane and Cole were kneeling in front of him. Behind them stood Lloyd and Jay, with the former wearing a bright green poncho and the latter looking pale as a sheet. All four of them were soaked to the bone and looked more terrified than Kai had ever seen.
His brothers. They’d come looking for him. He’d nearly cost them another teammate. How fucking selfish was he?
He opened his mouth to speak… and started sobbing again.
Cole pulled him into a tight hug, his voice drowning out the rain.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re safe…”
No, why didn’t they understand, nothing could ever be okay as long as she wasn’t there, as long as five wasn’t six, as long as they were missing a vital member of their team…
“Is he hurt?” Lloyd asked, his blonde hair sticking to his face as he knelt down on Cole’s other side, his green eyes filled with… were his tears glowing?
“I am not detecting any injuries.” Kai could faintly hear whirring as Zane continued, “But if we do not get him home soon, it is likely he will catch a severe cold in this rain.”
“No…” Kai whimpered, trying to pull away from Cole. “Please, just leave me here, let me stay, I can’t leave her again…”
The rain was all he had left of his sister. Why didn’t they understand?
“Kai, no.” Cole didn’t loosen his grip, his face pained. “We’re not losing you too.”
“We must get home soon.” Zane commented. The monotone in his icy brother’s voice made Kai want to break down even more. “This storm will get much worse in the next few hours, and it is a long walk.”
“I can’t…” Kai moaned, fresh tears falling into the puddles at his feet. “I don’t want to…”
“Kai, you’ll freeze to death out here.” Lloyd placed a hand on Kai’s shoulder, glowing tears streaming down his cheeks. “You were missing for hours. We were worried we wouldn’t find you. And Zane’s right, we gotta get home.”
“Not without her.”
That made Zane hesitate. He knew exactly what Kai meant.
Everyone else did too. Their faces all fell or paled. Jay’s hand went to his chest, where his yin pendant laid, missing its other half.
“She’s gone.” Kai moaned. “She’s never coming back. The rain is all I have left of her. Don’t take her away again.”
His fingers dug into the muddy puddles as he tried to pull out of Cole’s tight grip once more.
He loved his brothers, but how could they understand this? They hadn’t raised her. Hadn’t tried to shield her from every danger that came their way. Hadn’t gone hungry so many nights just to make sure her stomach wouldn’t grumble. Hadn’t given up everything just to hold her again.
And now the rain was the only part of her he could touch.
“What do we do?” Cole’s voice broke, his question addressed at the others. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“I don’t know.” Zane shook his head. “I don’t know.”