Chapter Text
Gross, that was the word for it. At this current moment Bruce Wayne playboy extraordinaire was gross, his hair was damp with sweat and probably matted under his cowl, he was covered head to toe in intergalactic goop, and he is almost certain he has broken three of his ribs. He has spent the last 72 hours painfully awake creating battle strategies, invading alien ships and fighting alongside Earth's most trusted heroes. All he wants is to zeta back to Gotham, nurse his wounds and pass out for the next 3 days, sue him, but he’s earned it.
So why, for the love of God, was Oliver Queen, of all people, clearing his throat and making his way to the front of the room, standing in the way of Bruce and his precious zeta ride home?
“Hi everyone, I know we all are running on fumes at this point, but these crisis situations tend to bring out the romance in even the most repressed people.”
Dear God, not again. If he has to sit through another one of Oliver and Dinah’s vow renewals, if he has to buy one more toaster oven, he might implode.
“Turns out my son, Arsenal- Roy, as most of you know, is one of these people because he and his fiancée have decided to get married tomorrow. I hope you all can make it,” He continues
Huh, so Bruce won’t be forced to watch his childhood best friend shove his tongue down his wife's throat and then make off with Bruce’s freshly bought kitchen appliance.
Roy Harper is getting married? That can’t be right. Wasn’t he just 16 years old fighting in the Titans with Dick? Looking at the man smiling brightly next to Oliver, it’s clear that he isn’t the same brash kid in a goofy outfit. In fact, he’s older than Bruce was the first time he put on the cowl.
Instinctively, he finds himself scanning the room for his own sons. Damian and Jon are sitting at the opposite end of the room, arguing animatedly about something. He loves seeing Damian actually act his age for once and finally let loose with a friend.
Tim is huddled around with Steph, Duke, and a couple of his Young Justice friends, his eyes glint mischievously, and a sinister grin spreads across his face as he takes in Archer's news. Bruce decides in that moment that he wants nothing to do with whatever his son is planning.
Cass is cuddled next to Barbara and a couple of the Birds of Prey. Her eyes meet his, and a small private smile is shared between the two of them. Dick is at the front of the room, launching himself at his best friend, practically vibrating with excitement, and Jason- Jason isn’t in the room.
Bruce frowns. He knows his son isn’t particularly comfortable around all these people, and whenever he does visit the watchtower, he never strays far from his siblings or his friends. Roy is one of Jason’s closest friends, he wouldn’t miss this big announcement.
He breaks away from the commotion and stalks over to the med bay, where he finds his second-oldest sitting on the edge of the bed being bandaged up by one of the nurse bots. His immediate instinct is to bark out a ‘Red Hood Report’ just so he can take stock of his son’s injuries, but his weekly sessions with Harley have taught him that non-emergency situations like this require tact.
“Jason.” He greets.
“Oh, hey, Bruce.” His son says, looking up from his phone.
“Rough fight?” He asks, eyes drifting to the bandages around his middle.
“Just a couple of bruised ribs, no big deal, but Roy nagged me to baby it, gotta be in tip top shape for tomorrow.”
Bruce grunts in agreement, and Jason takes that as encouragement to keep talking.
“Yeah, yeah, I know it's spur of the moment, and it is in Star City, you know how Oliver gets, but you’ll be there, right?” He finishes looking up at Bruce expectantly.
Bruce’s breath hitches. It’s been so long since Jason’s looked at him all wide-eyed and expectant, for a brief moment, he's a 12-year-old again, trying to hide a tyre iron behind his back and run away.
He really wasn’t planning to attend, but he can endure a Queen family event if it makes his Jaylad happy.
“Of course.” He answers earnestly.
*
When he finally makes it back to the Cave, he gets approximately 17 minutes to shower and bandage himself up before his eldest son bursts through the doors, clutching several binders in his hands.
“Bruce! Where are you?!” Dick yells out, frantic footsteps growing closer to the Med bay. Bruce gulps. He can handle this. According to the mug on his desk, he’s the world’s best dad, and God help him if he doesn’t live up to that title.
“Can you believe that they would do this to me?!” He yells dramatically, flinging himself down onto the bed next to him, binders flying everywhere.
“24 hours?! 24 hours to plan the wedding of the century. How am I going to pull this off ??” Dick says hopelessly.
Okay, Bruce thinks to himself, time to Dad up.
“Don’t worry, Chum, I’m sure Roy and his fiancée will be happy with anything you put together.”
Dick lets out a sound that sounds like an offended goose. Okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to say.
“How can you say that? You of all people know that I can’t let Oliver Queen one-up me on this; he’s taking care of the ceremony and leaving me to deal with the entire reception. He’s screwed me over, Bruce!”
Oh, so that’s what the pair was arguing about when he left the watch tower.
“Dick, it’s okay, I have a team of coordinators on standby to organize the Wayne Charity Gala; they’re yours if you want them.”
That apparently was the right thing to say because Dick responded by throwing his arms around him in a hug, muttering something about how he’s the best Dad ever, and then running off to find Tim.
Bruce lets out a sigh of relief, crisis averted.
“Father,” Damian begins, popping his head through the open door “, Alfred wanted me to let you know that we’ll be leaving to go suit shopping in 15 minutes.”
He sighs to himself, of course.
*
An hour later, he finds himself sitting on the couch of Gotham’s fanciest boutiques. He has never been so grateful for his celebrity status and its ability to get him special treatment. He lets himself enjoy the cool air conditioning and silence of the private room they’ve been given. His eyes finally close, and he can feel himself begin to drift off to sleep.
Until Stephanie and Cass come barreling through the door, well, it’s mostly Steph that wakes him up. Cass is the only person in the family who can successfully sneak past him.
“Uggghh, Bruce, your demon spawn hath banished us here,” Stephanie whines while flopping down on the couch.
“He said our choices were an insult to his family’s name.” She continues.
“He wants us to look our best.” Cass says softly.
“More like show up, Oliver Queen.” Duke quips back from the doorway, coming to it on the other side of Bruce.
Bruce groans internally. Is his dislike of Oliver Queen genetic? Cass catches his eye and laughs, of course, she knows exactly what he’s thinking.
When Damian and Alfred do come back, they have several sales people with them holding as many suits as they can carry, following Damian like he is a tiny army general.
“Father, this is Fierro; he and I have chosen an assortment of suits that we believe will flatter you. He will help you try them on.”
And just like that, he is banished to the changing rooms whilst his youngest shows off the outfits he’s chosen for the rest of the family. At least he doesn’t have to listen to the arguing.
When he does come back, Jason is standing in the middle of the room being attended to by a much friendlier-looking seamstress.
He turns to face Bruce fully and raises his arms, “So whatdya think, Bruce?”
He takes time to look at the suit properly, the colour perfectly complements his skin tone and brings out his eyes, there's intricate stitching along the collars and down the sleeves, and he's never seen his son look so grown up before.
“It's perfect.”
Jason beams, it’s a nice moment.
“Tt, of course it’s perfect, I choose it.”
*
By the time they make it back to the manor, Bruce is feeling less exhausted and now curious about who exactly Roy is marrying if everyone in his family is making such a big deal about it.
Sure, in the hero, community weddings are a rarity, and maybe his kids are just excited to attend one of someone closer to their age. He knows that Roy has always been Dick and Jason’s friend and Tim’s mentor; it makes sense for them to be so involved.
But his daughter and Stephanie weren’t known to make a big fuss about things like this unless they were personally invested; heck, even Duke has spent his day looking for the perfect DJ.
Bruce’s sleep-deprived brain is working overtime to try and remember Dick’s rants from almost a decade ago about the interpersonal drama on his newly found team.
Dick had a crush on Starfire and was sulking because she partnered up with Wally, Dicks best friend. Yes, and he had been complaining about how he had to partner up with Garth whilst all the other couples had teamed up together, Beast Boy and Raven, Speedy and Wonder Girl.
“Gotcha.” He says out loud, proud to have figured it out himself, Roy Harper was marrying Donna Troy, the current leader of the Titans and one of Stephanie Brown’s all-time favourite heroes. That explains all the ruckus.
He sits up straighter in his chair as all his children begin to pile in, and after they’re all seated, Dick stands up to make a toast. Oh no, he loves his boy, but his toasts tend to go on for minutes and minutes.
Plus, Bruce is feeling really good about himself; he’s solved the mystery of who’s marrying who, and he totally nailed the Dad thing today, not to mention he stopped an Alien invasion this morning. He’s so well-rounded, that he forgives himself instantly for tuning out most of Dick’s toast.
“I’m so proud of how far we’ve all come. Here’s to family!” He finishes, and the table erupts into cheers.
Dinner was delicious as always, and for once, his kids don’t fight him and go to bed early. The other Gotham vigilantes offer to cover patrol for them so they can get to Star City early.
He’s showered and changed and about to go to bed when he peaks into Jason’s open room and sees him standing outside his balcony.
“Everything all right?” He asks cautiously.
His son takes a deep breath and just looks at the sky.
“Just thinking tomorrow’s a big change.”
Oh, oh.
His poor son, Roy Harper, is his best friend; they’ve been roommates, partners and outlaws together for so long. Always on the same team, and now that Roy is going to have a wife, he’s going to be on someone else’s team.
He knows the feeling well. He remembers what it was like when Clark got married; it felt like he was starting this whole new chapter of his life and leaving Bruce stuck alone in the same place he’d been since his parents’ murder.
But that wasn’t the case; he still was, still is Bruce’s best friend. Him being in love with Lois Lane didn’t change a thing between them.
“Jaylad, don’t worry about it. He’s still your best friend and nothing’s going to change that. Tomorrow is a happy day.” He says, clapping his hand over Jason’s shoulder.
Jason hugs him in return, “Thanks, Dad,” he mumbles against his shoulder.
Bruce smiles to himself. He really was nailing this whole dad thing.