Chapter Text
Thank you so much to Mapsy_girl for this wonderful cover!
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mapsy_girl/pseuds/Mapsy_girl
Shane was in his happy place. He was at work at St Matthew’s hospital. He knew most people would describe a hospital as their least happy place but as a doctor, this was where he was most himself. He was in the last year of his residency as a general physician, and he loved it.
It was hectic, long hours, 100 hour weeks, he barely had time to see his friend or his godchildren. But when he got to save a life, there was no high that could rival that.
Except maybe a bed. Currently, he was at the tail end of a 24 hour shift. And he’d not slept well the night before that. He found himself drifting off.
He saw himself surrounded by clouds, in a beautiful garden. There were lilies, roses, all kinds of beautiful flowers in a spiral, and Shane was sitting in the middle of it. It was the most relaxed he’d felt in years.
He heard the clouds call out his name. Shaneeee……Shaneeeeeee
“Shane!” he realised it was a nurse. “Um sorry did I sleep?” he mumbled, waking up.
“Only six minutes.” Nurse Judy said. “I’ll be right there.” Shane called out.
Just then, his best friend and fellow doctor, Hayden Pike entered. “Hey buddy, how long have you been here?” he asked concerned.
“Um 23, 24 hours I think?” Shane said, as he scrambled to get a cup of coffee.
“I think time for you to get some shut eye buddy. Go home Shane.” Hayden said, trying to make Shane leave. He was a good friend, he always tried to stop Shane from pushing himself too much. He knew how Shane sometimes could keep going and going without realising he’s running on an empty tank, metaphorically speaking.
“That won’t make me an attending, Hayden!” he reminded his friend, of the upcoming promotion possibility.
“Adams? She needs to know how to redress her sutures, but then she can be discharged. Ellis needs an EKG, her ankles are still too swollen.” He told nurse Judy.
“Oh hey, Hollander. I took care of Trauma Two while you napped, princess.” Came the nasty voice of Comeau. He was an asshole, unfortunately a doctor and Shane’s rival for the attending position. Currently, Shane had it on good authority that they were both neck to neck.
“I wasn’t sleeping, I was…” Shane tried explaining. “You’re welcome.” Comeau said, walking away.
Another nurse came by, handing Shane two more patient files. “Rooms 2 and 4.”
“Hi Mrs Masterson, how are you today?” Shane asked an elderly patient. “We need a CBC, lytes and a UA.” He told nurse Judy. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable today?” he asked kindly.
“Marry me?” she asked. Shane chuckled. “I have my own bus pass.” She added. “Well how can I refuse?” Shane giggled some more.
Of course, there were a few problems with that proposal, Mars Masterson was married, Shane was gay, and 50 years younger than her. He knew it was all just an inside joke between them. But it felt nice to be asked nonetheless.
Sometimes Shane wondered, would this be the only proposal he’d ever get? See the thing is Shane was so busy being a doctor and saving lives, he had no life of his own to speak of. He had only dated a few times in college, both women, both disasters. Since discovering he was gay, he’d had two hookups, months apart, and since then he’d practically been a monk.
He kept saying to himself, once I finish med school, once I finish my internship, once I finish my residency. But he knew, once he became an attending, he really would have time to have his own life. Attendings made their own hours, had an enviable salary and their own massive office. Still. Shane worried that even becoming an attending wouldn’t stop the workaholic in him from working 24x7.
“Keep an eye on my fiancé, and decrease his morphine drip.” He told the nurse.
The next hour involved one more cup of coffee, fixing one patient’s dislocated shoulder, stitching another up, updating his patient charts, and then saving Comeau from being killed by a patient high on drugs. He may have waited a second longer than he should have to intervene, but no one but he knew that.
Somehow the hours passed by, patient after patient, pneumonia, diabetic coma, all the cases were starting to merge in his head, and he was feeling a bit weak. He realised he hadn’t eaten all day except a disgusting veg salad.
Shane, Hayden and their other friend, JJ were in the washroom. Hayden was trying to fix his hair but it wasn’t cooperating. “Someone wants baby number 4 tonight!” JJ joked. Hayden was married with three kids, even though he was at almost the same level as Shane. His wife was amazing, Shane had no idea how she managed. But then to be fair, Hayden was a hands on parent and worked half the hours Shane did.
“Shut up JJ! Jade got gum in my hair last night. Just checking if I got it all out. Jackie’s dad is coming for dinner and the man hates me. He thinks its my fault Jackie is a stay at home mom. Who is going to tell him she decided that? I encouraged her to go back to work.” Hayden groaned.
“I would take a home cooked meal with a slightly hostile man over having to go home to sew 8 caterpillar costumes with velcro legs for Katie’s dance class. Why did Carter have to sign us up for this I don’t understand. Especially since he can not sew at all!” JJ complained, about his husband and his daughter.
Shane loved his friends, but whenever they complained about their lives, he felt a bit jealous. They constantly told him how lucky he was to be single, how he had no other responsibilities and how much sex he could be having. But the truth is Shane longed to settle down. He wanted to come home to a nice guy, with a charming smile. He wanted to have these kind of mundane problems of costumes and dinners.
Some day. He told himself, like a mantra, Some day I will have this.
But he wasn’t sure he believed himself.
“Shane, you’re so lucky all you have to worry about is work.” JJ reminded him yet again.
Shane gave him a tight smile, masking his sadness.
As he headed to see another patient, his shift was already at it’s 36th hour by now. He got a call, it was his best friend and ex girlfriend Rose. She was constantly worried about Shane overworking and had somehow guilt tripped him into being set up on a blind date with some guy. Ugh. Blind dates were the worst.
“Are you really coming Shaney?” Rose’s cheerful voice asked. “Yes, I promise!” Shane said, half lying. “Good. Because this guy is great!” Rose squealed.
“Have you met him? Is he there?” Shane asked sceptically. “I uh haven’t actually met him in person, but I did see his Instagram, he looks gorgeous and his posts seem normal, if a little sad sometimes.” Rose said.
“Rose! You’re not setting me up with a complete stranger. Too weird.” Shane complained. “Shaney! He is a friend of an old friend of mine. I hear he’s really nice, if a bit rough around the edges.”
“Rose, I don’t know about this.” Shane moaned. “Look Shane, this guy wasn’t easy to convince either, he doesn’t do this kind of thing either. And this isn’t some Tinder date I’m asking you to go on, he’s a fully vetted guy, vouched for by someone I know. Do you know how rare that is?” Rose said scolding him. Rose yelled at her daughters, Shane smiled. His god children were the cutest but they could be monsters.
“I’m killing myself cooking that awful zucchini lasagne for you. So you better show up Shane Hollander!” Rose yelled. “I’m gonna be there, I’m just really busy tonight.” Shane tried explaining.
“Shane, as the one who was your gay awakening. You owe this to me. You better be here!” Rose said, using her ace card. “Ok fine, but then you are not allowed to use this excuse on me for at least 5 years.” Shane said rolling his eyes.
“Rose, I am completely capable of meeting men on my own!” Shane groaned, and he passed by the drugged patient just then, who thankfully was handcuffed. Rose heard the guy screaming, “I know sweetie. I just want you to meet one that’s not bleeding.” Rose said calmly.
“I will see you at 7, I promise.” Shane tried saying. “It is 7, sweetie.” Rose said in a way too calm voice. “Ok 7:30, max I promise.” Shane said, finally ending the call.
As Shane walked to the nurse’s station, he heard Comeau talking with another doctor.
“The only other option is you know Ottawa.” Comeau said. “Would you consider it?” Dr. Drapeau asked. “Ottawa vs Montreal, old people and melanomas vs great sushi and desperate women.” He joked. Ugh. Can’t believe this jackass is a doctor, Shane thought.
“You’ll get it, Webber likes you.” He said as they all walked up to the chief. Dr. Richard Webber.
A gunshot victim just came in. Yes! Just what I need, Shane thought. Forgetting about his date. Dr. Webber looked at them both, “How long have you been here?” he asked. “Twelve hours.” Comeau said smugly. “A few more.” Shane admitted, unable to hide his exhaustion. Dr. Webber looked at Shane, then said, “Alright Dr. Comeau.” And the doctor smirked at Shane. “I’ll scrub up.”
Shane was dejected at that. Maybe Webber did like Comeau more, he was going to lose the job. “Shane.” Dr Webber called out. “Yes sir?” he asked. “I was going to let you know tomorrow but I wanted to tell you I have made my decision. I want you to stay on as the attending physician.” He said.
OMG! I got it! Shane thought numbly. “Thank you so much, Sir.” He stuttered, not believing his ears. “You’ve earned it. And unlike some others you spend more time being concerned with what’s best for the patient than kissing my ass. Risky but I like it.” He said kindly. “Thank you, Sir. I have so many ideas for this place, I can’t wait to start.” Shane beamed.
“Shane. The only thing I need you to do right now is go home. Now.” He said, kindly but firmly. “Go.” He commanded. “You’ve been here 36 hours. I know.”
Looks like Shane was going to make his date after all.
He put on his favourite linen blue shirt, black coat, black slacks. He thought he looked alright. Ok, time to go.
It was pouring by the time Shane pulled out of the parking lot. He called Rose to let him know he’d be a little late.
“Oh don’t worry, your date is late too.” Rose said reassuringly. “Oh ok listen, I have good news. I got the promotion!” Shane said, with pride.
“That’s great Shaney! Get over here!” Rose squealed. “Okay come soon, we will open a bottle of champagne. You have to drink!”
“Ok ok I will. See you in a minute.” Shane said smiling. He bent to adjust the radio, and then he saw it. A huge truck barrelling down towards him. Oh god, was he going to die?
**
One month later
**
Ilya was seeing what felt like his 100th apartment in Montreal. His realtor was awful. It was a weird cramped apartment, with barely any furniture. “I told you I need furniture, Hayes.” He complained. “There is furniture.” The realtor said, pointing to the few floor cushions.
“I need good couch. There is no couch.” Ilya said simply. If he was going to drink himself to death, he needed a good couch for it. He saw a few more terrible places, each terrible in its own way. Some were too large with uncomfortable furniture, some had an awful view. Now Ilya was a landscape architect. He’d worked for almost a decade and had set aside a nice sum of money.
The plan had been to buy a nice house in Montreal. But that was when he was thinking of making a life with his best friend and wife, Svetlana. She died, two years ago. Since then, Ilya had fallen deeper and deeper into depression. To the point where for the past 3 months he’d stopped working all together. Ilya’s mom died of depression when he was 12, and then his father died of dementia when Ilya was 23. Since then, he’d been alone. Sveta had been the only family he ever knew. They were childhood friends, both landed up in Montreal for jobs. They’d always shared a strong bond, and they had occasionally great sex together. When Ilya’s citizenship became an issue, it made sense at the time to marry Sveta.
Ilya wouldn’t have been opposed to staying married to her. They both had no qualms about hooking up with others and it was comfortable with them. It wasn’t the kind of love you read about in books or saw in movies, but it worked for them. And then Sveta died, of cancer. And Ilya had to watch his only support fade away. And the worst part was he knew he grieved her more as a friend than a husband. The guilt of that was killing him almost as much as the loneliness was.
He’d sold the house they’d bought together, unable to stomach being there. So here he was now. Looking for a place, where he could sit on a comfortable couch, watch tv, drink vodka and eat pizza. Until he gave himself a heart attack or the money ran out. Whichever came first.
If only he could find a place. He was arguing with his realtor about his options in the middle of the street when a random flyer got stuck to his face. What the hell.
But wait. When he went to remove it, he saw it had information about a sublet. For thr apartment building he was standing in front of. That seemed like a charming three story old school apartment complex. He forced his realtor to show it to him.
The apartment was charming. It had a great view of Montreal, and whoever was the owner had great taste in furniture. Most importantly, the couch. It was comfortable.
Yes. Ilya could happily die here. And he actually might, he thought darkly. The best part was the apartment came with access to the entire terrace. It was a barren land, truly it hurt Ilya’s architect eyes to look at it. But if he really wanted to, he could turn this into something beautiful.
This place had potential.
“Sensational that too with private access? You could really do something with this. “Hayes said encouragingly.
“I like the couch. Good couch.” Ilya said sitting down. And so he moved in.
A week went by, he drank beer, ate pizza, ate Chinese, didn’t clean up. He let crumbs get everywhere.
Now you must understand this is not how he usually was. But since he’d decided life had no meaning, who cared about a few crumbs right?
Ugh, his beer was over. He got up to get another beer. And when he came back, there was a man.
In his living room.
A breathtakingly beautiful Asian looking man, with….freckles. Ilya realised.
But oh my god what was he doing here? Ilya screamed, the man screamed. Ilya’s beer went everywhere.
What the hell was happening?