Chapter Text
Kit didn’t know what to do.
It’s been happening so much that a knot tied itself in his throat at even the thought of it. Each day Surge had gone out the door for longer periods of time, the fennec felt his concern for her grow larger.
She’s been doing this ever since the weather forecast said there would be consecutive thunderstorms. And to add to his anxiety, the tenrec never informed him of anything.
Not of where she was headed to, not of when she would be back, and not if she was alright. Despite that last question, he knew the answer to it.
In fact, the only reason Kit held his tongue when she walked out the door each night was that he knew she was upset every time.
He knew Surge hated when he asked her continuous questions when she was in distress. He also knew that when he started asking Surge about questions regarding her mental health, he tended not to shut up about it.
There had been times when she blew up at him about that before. If Kit spoke about it now, there was no doubt that she would do it again. Then, the fennec would have had to deal with her leaving and being upset with him.
He wasn’t sure if he would be able to function if that occurred.
Not that he’s been doing a great job at functioning on his own regardless.
The first few nights of Surge leaving the house, Kit would normally be sitting on the couch watching television when she would tell him. When Surge returned at about sunrise, completely soaked, Kit would still be sitting, eyes half-lidded, greeting Surge with breakfast on the table when she arrived.
It wasn’t until she told him to go to bed that he would actually get some rest.
At first, he would actually get restful sleep knowing she was in the house. However, as this became a daily thing, his rest came to be littered with nightmares. His most recent one was when Surge had told him she found someone better, packed her stuff, and left him all alone.
If it were any other time, Kit would have been shaken up, but he wouldn’t have believed the nightmare wholeheartedly.
But what if it were true?
What if she had left him?
What if she was talking to another person she wanted to be around more than him?
What if she even secretly hated him?
No.
No, that couldn’t have been the case. If Surge hated someone, the tenrec wouldn’t keep it a secret. Right?
No matter what he would tell himself to contradict it, Kit knew he didn’t believe that there was no shot she didn’t hate him.
Currently, the fennec was sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through channels. His body would jolt at the sudden lightning strikes that tore itself throughout the area.
He wasn’t paying attention to what was on screen, but the dread in his stomach as he waited for Surge to come downstairs.
Each thought that appeared in his head, each scenario, caused him to click the button on the remote faster.
His grasp on the couch tightened.
His breath quickened. His vision blurred with tears.
Voices — ones he didn’t recognize — implanted themselves in his head.
”You’re never enough.”
”She doesn’t need you.”
”Nothing you do will ever be right for her.”
Kit’s limbs tensed. Everything grew distant, as if he were watching out of eyes that weren’t his.
He wanted to scream, but his voice was caught in his throat. The voices overlapped, yet he still heard the echo of something else. Someone else.
“Hey.”
”What kind of sidekick are you?”
”Hey!”
“She’ll find someone better than you. She must've already did."
”HEY!”
Everything stopped.
The sudden yell caused the fennec's body to jolt, dropping the remote as the TV stopped on a random show. He turned to the hallway, where Surge leaned against a wall with her arms crossed.
She was dressed. Her quills were tied up. The fennec knew the time was here.
Her voice was laced with irritation. A kind that Kit knew only came to when she was upset.
”The fuck are you doing?”
Kit attempted to answer for a brief moment. His voice was still caught in his throat, but he managed to stutter a few words.
“I- I’m sorry.”
Surge took a breather for a second. Following a few seconds of brief silence, she spoke in an ever so slightly calmer tone.
“You’re good.”
She propped herself up using her arm, standing upright and approaching the front door. Her chest heaved, and Kit could tell she was trembling.
”You know the drill. I’m goin’ out for a while. If you need me, call me.”
She’s leaving him again. He was lucky his ears couldn’t get any lower.
”Okay. Be safe.”
Surge gave him a look. Apparently, his unhappiness seeped into his tone.
”Why do you sound like that?”
”Like what?”
”Like, hella deadpan. You gotta problem?”
”N-No. I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”
Surge didn’t reply. She walked in front of the TV and opened the front door. Lightning struck as she stared at the sky with a glisten in her eyes. Kit knew how much she loved when the sky lit up. The spark in her eyes was something Kit couldn’t remember himself ever being the cause of.
She turned to him one last time, and the fennec had to fight the urge to run out with her.
All he wanted was to be with Surge.
”Make sure you get some shut-eye, kid. You’re killing yourself waiting for me every night.”
“I will.”
”I’m serious, you know.”
”I know.”
”You promise?”
”I promise.”
”Okay.” She walked out the front door, locking it before shutting it behind her.
Kit was all alone again.
Just like that, this is what things have been for the past week or two.
Surge would speak to him for a brief moment, and then leave him home alone for hours.
Sometimes, it’d look as if she’d been crying. However, most of the time — like this one — she’d grow more irritable and shaky, as if trying to hold something back.
Surge always held back when she was with him. Only when it was him.
Part of him appreciated it, and part of him loathed himself for being so sensitive.
There have been more times where Kit has cried to Surge than vice versa, and if Kit ever found Surge crying, it would be all alone.
She never came to him as many times as he came to her.
It was pathetic.
With that, everything came back, louder now that she wasn’t here.
He could feel his chest tightening once again.
”You depend on her when she’s meant to depend on you.”
”You will never be what she needs.”
”She’s leaving you because she hates you.”
The voices were of his own.
Amidst the overlapping words, however, there was a voice belonging to another.
A low hum, then one word rang in his mind.
”Kitsunami.”
That was all it said, yet the hum itself already had Kit’s every limb tense up. No.
Not him.
He looked around in every other direction, yet right in the same spot Surge had been standing prior to leaving the house was where the figure stood.
The sight was all too familiar.
A platypus with circular, orange glasses stared back at him with magenta irises beneath the lenses.
A grin was plastered on his face, and he wore it with the same pride that Kit knew he had to take him and Surge’s lives away with.
The one in the hallway was Dr. Starline.
Trepidation was all the fennec felt when his eyes landed on his creator.
He managed to utter one word.
”N-No.”
“Unfortunate, isn’t it? You were made to defy Tails, yet you defy yourself instead. Oh, how ironic is it that the one created to assist her now sobs on her shoulder?”
Kit attempted to reply.
"I…"
However, the words died on his tongue when the platypus began to approach him. The latter’s footsteps thudded with every step he took towards the fennec.
Kit got up from the couch and moved back.
“You blame yourself for being so sensitive, yet you make no effort to change. Are you truly sorry for being a burden?”
”I am. N-Nothing you say is true.”
”Oh, but what of your conscience? If you didn’t have doubt, I wouldn’t be speaking to you right now, Kit. You can’t run from the truth. She has attempted that before and, of course, has failed miserably.”
A spark of rage grew within Kit at the mention of Surge.
He would very much rather have Starline only haunt him than both of them, but the fennec knew that wasn’t the case. Surge had gone through way more than he did with Starline.
”You don’t know us, anymore. Surge doesn’t.. She doesn’t hate me. She would never replace me. We’re getting stronger every day and I… I won’t let you control either of us anymore!”
”But do you believe those words on your own accord?”
That was when Kit got stuck. He stammered on his words.
“I… I…”
Silence.
Everything was too loud. The fennec looked down as tears fell from his face onto the wooden floorboards beneath him.
”No. I don’t.”
Starline grinned. Triumph was embedded within his face, and was laced in his tone.
”Hm. Right. You sob at the mere thought of Surge leaving you. You curl up and weep when she exits the house every night. You want her to return, but do you call when you need her?”
”No.”
“And why is that?~”
Kit’s voice was small, as if he had been reduced back to what he truly was: a child. ”Because she… she wouldn’t come back for me.”
”She’s probably replaced you by now. I would.”
Those words caused Kit to tremble.
Like any other idea, the words said aloud hit much harder. He was scared. He didn’t want Surge to leave him.
“Stop.”
He backed up once again, until his back hit the front door. His eyes were darting across every corner of the floor within his peripheral view.
Starline had no problem following him until the distance between him and the fennec was slim to none. Kit’s voice grew louder as his breath grew rapid.
”S-Stop. Please.”
”You two say you’ve defied your creator, yet you two are also still exactly as I left you.”
He leaned down and spoke in Kit’s ear.
“You both are cowards. Now watch as your conscience eats you alive.”
”STOP!”
His scream tore through the vacant household. With a tremble evident in his voice, he attempted to push Starline away.
Instead, his hands only collided with air.
Kit hiccuped, weeping as he turned around and opened the front door, shutting it as Starline disappeared.
He sprinted into the night while lightning struck everything surrounding him.
His fur grew damp in the span of seconds from the rain that rapidly descended onto him.
He ran through the area with only one person on his mind.
Surge was at the entrance of a cave.
Rain stuck to her fur. She felt as droplets rolled down her quills, which no longer stayed tied up in her hairband. She was soaked, which caused her clothing to stick to her skin as well.
The tenrec wasn’t sure why, but every single time she pursued a storm, it brought her back to here. No matter where she had been prior.
Not that she cared. Trashing this place was a nice way to let out her emotions.
Especially right now.
A cyan gaze veered around the area, but it was looking at nothing in particular. There was nothing else the tenrec could have focused on except for the overwhelming rage she felt within her.
It wasn’t fair. Seeing him everyday wasn’t fair.
An electrical aura surrounded her body. Sparks flew in multiple directions as she tried to contain herself.
There was no such thing as a breathing technique that worked on her. There was no such thing as a healthy coping mechanism that she believed in.
The only thing that ever so slightly managed to calm her nerves was breaking something. Even though that also never calmed her down entirely, yet she used that method nearly every time. The cave was already half destroyed. Rocks and debris had crumpled to the floor from the top of the area.
That was her past work, her past anger, that brought damage to the area. And she was about to bring thunder to the rock that she was facing.
“You tell yourself you’ve changed. That your urge to kill Sonic has long been reduced, no?"
Surge reeled back a fist.
She thought of him. She still heard his voice in the midst of a blazing storm, and it was louder than the lightning that struck the earthy ground beneath her.
”But no matter what you do, you will never have a true past. I created you. Your emotions. Your memories. Your thoughts.”
She couldn’t take it anymore.
”I will always be a part of you. Your hatred, your joy, no matter what it is.”
”It will never be real.”
”SHUT UP!”
With a battle cry, Surge’s fist collided, and she struck the already half-beaten wall in front of her.
The cave shook with the impact. As what would occur every other day from this, loose rocks and debris from the upper areas began to fall to the ground.
She stared at what she had done with displeasure. Her fist was still glued to the area she hit.
It wasn’t enough.
The tenrec’s opposing fist charged with the same electrical energy that her other hand was charged with. As soon as her fist released itself from the wall, her other fist slammed into another rock next to the one she just destroyed.
Then, she looped her attack. Over and over again.
She repeatedly landed numerous devastating punches. The impact was so strong that it shredded through each rock unfortunate enough to be in her way. Dust stayed afloat and miniature pieces ended up on the ground. Sparks of electricity grew into rays of lightning akin to the ones coming from the sky as she continued to beat on the area.
The tenrec had a snarl on her face. Her mind grew louder, and she screamed through it all. She sped up the inadvertent process of diminishing the wall in front of her as she grew more agitated.
She did this until there was a dent larger than anything she’s ever done to this cave present in the wall.
Surge stared with cyan eyes that glowed amongst the darkness with power. Her chest heaved as she let on rapid intakes of air. Then, her snarl dissipated, and instead replaced a look of exhaustion with subtle anger.
She dropped to her knees, feeling the harsh ground of the rocks that beneath her. Not because she was physically tired, but because she was mentally drained.
It's been weeks of this.
He won't go away.
Suddenly, before she could sulk in her own emotions, her ears paid attention to a repetitive beeping coming from her communicator.
The tenrec glanced at the device latched onto her wrist. She pressed a button. As soon as she saw it was Kit that was ringing her, she answered instantaneously.
He almost never rung her. Ever. Not a single time during Surge's nights out did Kit ever call her for anything. This was his first time.
Surge was already hoping the kid was alright. Something was telling her that the contrary of her wish was going to come true.
"Drippy?"
"Surge."
Surge grew concerned at the tone of the fennec's voice.
He sounded as if he'd been crying his eyes out. She heard the sound of the harsh wind and rain in the background, and she immediately inferred that he was outside.
"Drippy, where the hell are you?"
"I tried— I tried to look for you. 'M not far from th' house."
The microphone didn't fail to pick up the voice crack that came from Kit. Surge was already on her feet. She ignored any other intense emotion she had been feeling before, because the only thing that overtook her body was the feeling of worry.
"Come home. Please. Don't leave me alone."
"What's going on."
No response. The tenrec grew more alert.
"Kit. Answer me. You hurt?"
"N-No."
That singular word only did so much to ease her worry.
"Then what's goin' on with you?"
There was another brief moment of silence.
Then, it wasn't until a sob came from the other end that Surge realized.
"Fuck— Forget it. Hang on, kid, I'm coming now."
Surge shut off her communicator before the fennec could answer.
She had already rushed out of the cave, ignoring the stars overhead and the area where she would normally sit.
The lightning had ended, and only rain continued to pour onto the tenrec's quills. It was dark, yet the power that she used to run illuminated her way. Perhaps Surge was using more than what was required to get to their house faster, yet she couldn't bring herself to care regardless of whether or not she was.
She blitzed through the area with only one person on her mind.
Kit tried so hard to hold himself together. He really did. But Starline was right.
The fennec was nothing without who he was programmed to assist.
His fur was soaked. He opened the front door to the house.
He wasn't sure what he was thinking when leaving in the first place, but Surge was coming home. Thus, Kit had no reason to leave anymore.
He attempted to let the thought of her returning at a time that wasn't at sunrise bring him the relief he was yearning for.
He tried to take deep breaths. He tried to fight the feeling. He tried to find her on his own. He tried everything to push his feelings aside. After all, Surge was already upset. She didn't need his unnecessary need for support on top of that.
But, of course, the fennec failed.
Like what he had done with everything else he was created to do, he failed at resisting his emotions.
Instead, he had fallen victim to them, and now every time he held himself back when she left through the door every night was coming back to strike at his sanity.
Now, the fennec sat on the doormat of the room where he once sat on the couch. His back was pressed against the front door.
His breaths had become sporadic long ago ever since the conversation with Starline, yet now he's been starting to feel lightheaded from the way his body still refused to take in natural amounts of air.
He continued to cry as tears slipped down his face.
He struggled to breathe. He struggled to think.
His mind had never been silent before, but his mind had also never been as loud as it was right now.
Every limb was tense. He trembled violently. Shaky whimper were all that left his mouth.
He tried to get up, but his attempts were sluggish. The only thing he could do is bring himself to the foot of the sofa.
It felt as if he were gonna pass out if this carried on for another minute.
All he wanted was Surge next to him.
The voices came back.
"Kit."
It was her's.
"Drippy. Get up."
Kit looked around. He couldn't find her anywhere.
The fennec attempted to do what she asked of him. However, he immediately fell back down onto the ground.
He heard her laughter echo in his head. "You're so weak. You really think you could be my sidekick if you can't even get up when I tell you to?"
Kit only sobbed harder.
"I'm sorry. 'M sorry."
"Yeah, yeah, you better be. Now get up."
He tried again. He fell on his hands and knees, pressing his back against the sofa once more. He shut his eyes.
She repeated herself. "Get up."
At this rate, was the fennec even breathing at all?
"C-Can't. I can't—"
"God, you're so fuckin' useless. Maybe I should replace you."
"P-Please— I'm sorry, I'll do better."
"THEN GET. UP."
Kit’s ears rung with every scream that was heard in his mind. His arms wrapped around his knees, and he buried his head within them.
He couldn't get up. But nothing stopped. The fennec felt even more lightheaded than before. He felt as if he were in the lab again as his own brain worked against him.
Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms grasp both of his shoulders.
The fennec looked up. Before he could see who it was, he screamed.
Almost as if it were instinctive, he proceeded to thrash around against the other person’s grasp that kept him restrained.
His body trembled. He wasn't breathing. He shouldn't be using this amount of energy.
The voice got louder, along with the ones in his head.
“..ppy! KIT!”
The fennec opened his eyes. The voice wasn't an echo. It sounded muffled. He felt as if he were seeing stars, yet he tried to make out what was holding him.
It was a green figure that sat in front of him. It kept him pressed against the couch, holding him up, preventing him from falling apart on the ground.
The fennec thought he had been hallucinating at first. Yet when he heard the wind and rain outside, he glanced at the door which was left wide open.
His tunnel vision stayed, but he could finally make out who it was in front of him.
Surge. It was Surge.
She had a look on her face Kit had almost never seen before: shock and worry.
She was holding herself back again. Kit could tell. She let on a sigh in relief, and spoke in a gentle tone. That was weird for Surge the Tenrec to ever do.
"Drippy. Hey, c’mon, breathe. You’re good.”
But could Kit even bring himself to care?
He looked at her for a second, and noticed he had stopped struggling on his own.
He drew in a large intake of air, but it soon was cut off by a sob. Another tear fell from the fennec’s face.
Without thinking, Kit launched himself out of the couch and wrapped his arms around Surge. When he did, he started violently weeping into the tenrec’s chest, soaking her shirt more than the rain did.
He felt her tense up.
This was the first time Kit had ever hugged her in months.
Not that Surge had a probably with the fennec hugging her, but she never embraced him back. He didn’t need her to.
He just needed her close to him.
He just needed Surge.
What the hell was happening right now?
Surge had run home as fast as she could, and burst through the door to see her partner having a panic attack. That was what was happening.
This wasn’t her first time seeing him have one, but she hadn’t seen a panic attack this severe from him until right now. Now, he was hugging her for the first time in months, and bawling his eyes out in her chest.
But in spite of her extreme dislike for hugs — and her stress that’s been present all week — this was the first time where she didn’t feel a single trace of annoyance anywhere within her body.
No. Instead, Surge was worried. Exceedingly worried.
For a brief moment, she stared down at the fennec in her arms.
Then, she relaxed her limbs. She sat more comfortable on the ground, before she wrapped one of her arms around his body. Her hand reached the back of the fennec’s head, gently running a hand through his fur.
With her other arm, she brought him closer to her until he was on her lap.
That only made him cry harder. He curled up in her arms.
Surge didn’t move, didn’t rock him, and didn’t do anything else to help him further. Instead, she only sat there and held him.
It seemed to be enough. And that was all she was willing to give.
They would talk about this in the morning.