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It was another normal day at Mount Justice. The team had just finished a mission and were currently about to call it a night. Artemis had already disappeared back home. Miss Martian went to bed. The duo that was Kid Flash and Robin ran off to cause mischief since their guardians could barely force them home on the weekend.
Kaldur and Superboy both went towards the kitchen for water before going off to catch some rest themselves.
Superboy sat at the counter as Kaldur offered to get the glasses for the two of them. He’d begun to rummage for ice in the freezer when he felt a pair of eyes on his back. He turned around and found Conner had been staring at him, curiously. As always, it seemed the teen had a burning question on his mind. In the short time they’ve been a team, Superboy figured out pretty quickly that the only reasonable person he could go to for understanding was their consistently, unbaffled leader.
After setting down their drinks, Kaldur decided to investigate, "Conner, is something the matter?"
Superboy carefully studied his expression, searching, before finally finding the bravery to share "Aqualad–“
“Kaldur.”
“Right. Kaldur, could you explain to me…how to be aware when…"
The teen stumbled in his words, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but Kaldur was patient. He appreciated the trust Conner put in him to help understand this confusing world. He could also empathize as a water dweller having to adjust to living on land.
"Could you explain…how to tell….when…when someone…yearns for you?"
Kaldur smiled at the innocence of the question as well at the level of interest the topic would take, "ah, you mean, how to tell if someone likes you?"
Conner nodded slowly, not one hundred percent convinced Kaldur fully comprehended what he wanted to know (It's about time Superboy noticed M'gann's feelings).
"Well, tell me about this person first. What have they done to have led you to the conclusion that they might like you?"
There was a great deal of severity in his eyes as Conner looked away feeling unsure of himself, "if a person is constantly questioning ‘how you are’ that means they like you, correct?"
"Sometimes even those who are simply friends do the same. Take for instance, I always check up on how you are. It is all dependent on how one asks," Kaldur explained, "how do they ask?"
"Well, they always push and probe to know 'how one is doing' even when they are being…really annoying, actually. Most times, it’s like they're not even concerned, I think they’re just trying to be obnoxious." Kaldur didn’t miss the way the teen muttered to himself: they don’t even have to try…
(That doesn't sound like M'gann), the now completely baffled leader guessed she's been bothering Conner with her friendliness and deep want to be closer.
"I see. Well…sometimes people act that way because they are not always concerned. Most times they merely just want the attention of the other person, and they think this is the only way they can create more connection. They don’t mean to have bad intentions; they just might not be good at conversation."
Conner raised a skeptical brow at him, before pushing on," what about when you are trying to ignore them and they shove their whole body into your lap to get your attention? That's a sign of…liking someone, right?"
Aqualad gaped, excuse the offensive language of this story, like a fish out of water.
(No way that was M'gann. Maybe it could be Artemis then? She's a lot more forward about these sort of actions).
"Um…yes…yes that could be a sign of affection in some…cultures? Um…care to tell me more?" Aqualad is always willing to help. However, he was more curious to find out which girl Conner was referencing, for this was about to be a one-on-one conversation about ethical behavior within the team.
Conner blinked at Kaldur, even more wary of trusting his judgement in reading social situations accurately, "is it also a sign of affection when they flick your ears and run away?"
Even though that was what usually guppies and children do as underdeveloped, socially inept youngsters: "yes, it can be."
"What about when they slap your butt and run away?"
Aqualad was now beyond baffled. Bewildered even, nonplussed…disconcerted with an extra heavy ‘dis’. He would have to talk to his team later about sexual harassment guidelines and what was appropriate behavior – shame on those girls, he expected better.
"And when they ruffle your hair and kiss your forehead?"
"To some degree…perhaps."
"And when they trip you down the stairs only to catch you at the bottom?"
"What. Possibly, maybe?" (How was that even possible? Unless it is M'gann and she flew down quickly)…but what kind of foolish, childish, imp-ish, hellion, would believe this is attractive behavior? Not that Kaldur would ever think that of the sweet Miss Martian, so there had to be some sort of crosswire in communication happening.
"And when they curl up against you secretly as you sleep on the couch? Then leave before you wake?"
"Yes, Conner…could you tell me who it is that has a crush on you?" He needed to put a stop to this before the clone started to believe that such intrusive, unsettling, boundary-crossing behavior was okay.
"Someone has a crush on me?"
Kaldur was now cradling his face in disbelieving indignation for this poor, sweet, naïve, teen. He couldn’t believe he would have to be the one to give his teammate a lesson in dating, romance, and consent. They told him that he would have to lead the team into life-or-death missions and to be prepared for the worst. Not this hooligan shit.
Conner patted him on the back in soothing solidarity.
"Listen to yourself, Conner. Everything you told me are signs that someone likes you."
"Well, Ch'yeah." Conner stared at him with weary annoyance.
It took all of the years of meditation and discipline-training he had done with his king to not just grab Superboy and just shake him really, really hard. Normally, Superboy wasn’t the reason – on this team of overly dramatic, impulse-ridden adolescents – for the unraveling of all his practice in Zen.
"Which means someone has a crush on you."
Conner’s face was bursting with dumbstruck audacity (oh, this damn boy).
"What should you do then, if someone has a crush on you?" Knowing that the teen had an attraction to M'gann – which Kaldur had already narrowed down a long time ago – he decided it would be best to simply instruct him on how he should respond to her feelings.
"Tell them you feel the same way and that you know how they feel."
"What if you don't know how they feel?"
"But you do know,” Kaldur didn’t even have it in him to hide how vexed he was now.
"I see…"
As slowly as he could, he explained, "and they should know that you know so that you may happily be together."
Conner nodded with hesitance but stood up with purpose. Kaldur breathed in relief, proud of his work. He was also glad to see two of his teammates finally acknowledging their heart’s desires.
Superboy threw back his water and left to the hallway heading towards M'gann's room, Aqualad presumed. He closed his eyes and enjoyed his own beverage, leaning into a sense of calm when –suddenly, heavy thuds and loud, struggling voices rung through the hallway.
"SUPERBOY LET ME DOWN!"
"I can't do that."
"LET ME DOWN NOW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Kaldur sprinted towards the hallway believing Conner must have been telling M'gann in the most completely disastrous way. Oh the joys of dealing with a super powered boy with problems dealing with his emotions.
He screeched to a halt when he saw unexpectedly…
"WHY ARE YOU CARRYING ME LIKE THIS?"
"Because Robin, you need to know what I know."
The thing about Robin was that he hated being thrown about like a rag doll. Being the shortest does not equate with ‘pick me up whenever you want guys!’ Currently, he was being held over Superboy's shoulder.
"And what could that possibly be?" The pre-teen yelled as he struggled to get out of the other boy's hold.
"That Kid Flash has been yearning for you. Aqualad told me that because I know, you guys needed to know too." Robin stopped wiggling, frozen in shock – so was Kaldur.
Speaking of the actual devil, Kid Flash came running in with a bucket of feathers and two cans of shaving cream, "Rob! What are you doing?! Kaldur's room is…this…way? What's going on here?"
"Aqualad told me I had to inform you two of your feelings towards Robin. So that we may all live happily together."
Kid flash turned scarlet red, sputtering incoherently, before making a mad dash into the opposite direction.
Superboy chased after him, with Robin still swinging over his shoulder, yelling.
Kaldur stood, alone, in the hallway stupefied.
Oh. He couldn't wait for Robin to take his place as the leader now.