Chapter Text
It starts off with a headache. Just a simple headache that really isn't anything to be concerned about. Robert gets headaches all the time, from stress he doesn't show, from worry he has about Aaron, or from general morons winding him up. But this headache doesn't go away, it lingers and chips away at him for weeks. His vision blurs at least once a day, he throws up if he stands too quickly and takes so many Paracetamol that Aaron corners Liv and demands to know if she's stealing them.
"It can't be anyone else. I haven't taken any, my mums got other things she takes and it isn't Robert."
"Are you joking me? Is this how it's going to be, anytime something dodgy happens in this house you just assume it's me?" Liv storms out of the living room and slams the door so hard Robert sees black dots dancing for a moment as the pain behind his eyes skyrockets.
He sneaks out the next morning and books an emergency appointment with his doctor. He flashes a light in Robert's eyes, checks his blood pressure and takes a blood sample. He doesn't look too concerned as he tells Robert it's probably stress related or he needs glasses.
Robert chuckles at the thought of what Aaron would make of him in specs. He already makes fun of his cardigans.
He finds his fiancé in the shower when he gets home and decides to join him. Aaron is washing the suds from his hair as Robert slips in behind him, strokes his hands down his chest and kisses him deeply. Robert puts the sex they have that night in his top ten, Aaron grins and asks what's gotten into him. He sleeps better than he has all month.
He talks Aaron around and gets him to lay off Liv, all the while skillfully avoiding incriminating himself.
"She might be a troublemaker, but she's not a drug dealer, Aaron."
The dust settles and things go back to normal. Robert looks forward to putting this whole thing behind him when he gets the call back from his doctor. He doesn't need glasses. He needs tests, lots of them.
A week later, it's confirmed. He has a brain tumour.
Robert's ego is blown to oblivion and he walks around the village feeling like he's standing on the edge of a black hole only he can see.
It's not cancerous, but he needs surgery to remove it.
He doesn't tell Aaron. He can't.
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Robert throws himself into his work during the day and spends his evenings in the pub drinking just enough alcohol to avoid reality.
Aaron gives him funny looks, Chas asks him if he's okay, even Liv notices something isn't right with him. She calls him a weirdo but looks worried instead of irritated when she says it.
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Oddly, the first person he does tell is Paddy. He makes up some excuse about a business meeting then goes to the vet's office and asks Paddy how he can possibly break this kind of news to the man he loves more than anything in the world.
"I know Aaron will survive this. If I..." die. "If he can make it through Gordon, he can do anything."
"So what's the problem? If you know he can handle it, why not just tell him the truth." Paddy is trying to be uncaring, but the cold tone of his voice wobbles and Robert wants to cry.
"Because I don't think I can. I can't handle hurting him again. I just want him to be happy, he deserves to be happy."
Paddy sighs and awkwardly puts a hand on Robert's shoulder. "He can't be happy while you're lying to him."
He thanks Paddy for his advice and appologises for their history. For the first time, Paddy actually acepts it.
When Aaron gets back from the scrapyard that evening, Robert joins him at the bar. He's gone over and over his head what he plans to say, how he plans to say it. But the second he sees Aaron, he freezes and forgets everything.
"You look done in," his fiancé offers.
Robert shrugs and finishes the last of his pint.
Aaron sighs. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on or are we just going to sit here pretending until it all goes tits up?"
Robert puts his glass down and looks at Aaron, really looks for the first time all week. There are worry lines etched into his forehead, he hasn't shaved in a few days and his under eyes are darker than they should be. It's taking it toll on the both of them despite only one of them knowing the truth.
"Why am I a good lying to everyone but you?" he asks.
For a second, Aaron looks like he wants to punch him. "Robert-"
"I've been having these headaches," he mumbles. He promised himself he wouldn't give Aaron too many details and he'd reassure him first and foremost before he said anything further. So much for that plan.
"I hadn't noticed," Aaron mutters, sarcasm dripping from his words. "It was pretty obvious when you were convincing me it wasn't Liv that took all those Paracetamols."
"I didn't want to worry you."
Aaron snorts and fiddles with his bag of peanuts. "Great job you did with that then."
"I'm scared, Aaron."
"I'm sure it's nothing."
"It's a tumour," he blurts out and Aaron drops the peanuts.
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Neither of them sleeps that night. Robert maybe gets a few hours but that's only because he's exhausted from all the pretending. Aaron tosses and turns and at three in the morning when they're both laid awake, he slips his hand into Robert's and promises to be by his side through everything.
Chas hugs him and tells him everything's going to be fine. She tells Liv on his behalf and she doesn't speak to him for two days. Robert can't bring himself to tell Vic or Diane, it'll break their hearts, they'll cry and inadvertently half the village would know by tea time.
They'll find out eventually, they're bound to. But for now, he plans to handle it with at least some of his dignity intact and with as few people knowing as possible.
His headaches get worse, he starts forgetting things and some days he can hardly get out of bed, but he does for Aaron's sake. He and Liv are on speaking terms again, but she doesn't wind him up as much as she used to. It should be a welcome relief. It's not.
A week before he's scheduled for one last pre-surgery scan, Robert collapses in the middle of the cafe. One minute he and Aaron are ordering two Americano's to go and the next Aaron's fists are in the front of his leather jacket holding him upright, pleading for him to be okay.
Robert has a seizure in the back of the ambulance, he stops breathing and Aaron barely has time to tell him he loves him before he's whisked away through a pair of 'Medical Personnel Only' doors.
Seven hours later, Robert is hooked up to almost as many machines as he was when he was on life support after being shot, the side of his is shaved and the tumour is gone.
He wakes up to Aaron running his fingers through what's left of his fringe. "You look like a right muppet," he jokes, his voice quiet and soft and he places a kiss on Robert's forehead, mindful of the drain tubes and dried blood. "You feel alright?"
Robert makes a noise he hopes sounds like a yes. Aaron smiles briefly and holds something up. It glimmers in the pale yellow light above his bed. "I reckon you can have this back now." He slides the ring back on Robert's finger and cups their hands together.
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Vic promises she's going to kill him once he gets better, and Diane calls him Pet and makes him feel terrible. She lectures him on family and honesty and if this was Andy he'd know they were all there for him and that he didn't need to keep it a secret.
Robert doesn't see much of Diane after that. The look Aaron gets whenever she casually comes up in conversation tells him his fiance has something to do with that.
Robert sleeps a lot, he loses weight and pushes himself in physical thearapy. He's discharged from the hospital, he gains the weight again and he stops wearing the jogging bottoms he loaths so much.
He doesn't go back to work as soon as he'd like, but he starts hanging around the scrapyard like old times to keep himself entertained. Aaron doesn't let him lift anything heavier than a side mirror and if Robert is lucky, some days he manages not to fall asleep in the portacabin after just a few hours.
His hair starts to grow back around the scar but its uneven and ridiculous, so he drops into Bernice's and asks her to do what she can. She jumps and squeaks, barely touching his head like she's afraid his skull might shatter like cheap glass. He sighs and tells her not to bother.
"I am borrowing this, though." He takes a pair of hair clippers home with him, much to Bernice's dismay, and asks for Aaron's help.
Liv grins and offers her services when Aaron tells him he has no idea what's he's doing. But luckily under Chas's guidance, together they don't do a bad job.
Robert and Aaron take a shower to get rid of the fly away blonde hairs that somehow end up on the both of them. Tickling their necks and making them itch.
"I couldn't bare to loose you," Aaron says, his voice hushed under the spray.
Robert frowns, not really sure where this has come from. "And you won't."
"But I nearly did."
"You won't." The steam clouds around Aaron's head, making him look angelic almost. "Besides, I've been beaten, shot, beaten again, kidnapped, beaten some more, and almost set on fire by my crazy ex-wife. And not necessarily in that order. After a brain tumour, I think I've proved I'm invincible."
Aaron snorts. "Let's not test that theory again, though. Yeah?"
Robert feigns thought, tilting his head before slowly answering, "Yeah."
His fiance shakes his head. "Idiot."