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It was just any simple day in the Vanilla Kingdom. When wasn't it?
Pure Vanilla was happily content with living day by day alongside his partner, Shadow Milk. Each morning was filled with cuddling and shared breakfasts, afternoons of the Master of Deceit resting as a snake upon the Wielder of Truth's shoulders. Evenings especially were filled with conversation about their day, dinner, and holding each other as they both retired to bed.
Except, recently… Well, for the past month or two, Shadow Milk had been strange as of late. Sure, he was a rather odd Cookie, not ever growing up with a childhood — therefore age regressing every few months — masking his emotions because of it, the list goes on.
But that's not exactly what Pure Vanilla means by odd. He means that his beloved bluebird had been a bit distant lately, clearly hiding something during each talk they hold with each other while they eat dinner every night.
Each touch Pure Vanilla lays on Shadow Milk, he flinches — which he hasn't done for some time — and the Ancient finds this disturbing. He'd tamed the wolf ages ago, years. If this was one of his partner's times of need, Pure Vanilla just wished that he told him that he needed help.
…but then again, the Master of Deceit hated being vulnerable.
The blonde Cookie still doesn't understand how he managed to get through to him. A miracle, it seems.
…
Cutting to today, Shadow Milk isn't in the room currently. Pure Vanilla sits at his desk — luckily today was one of his days without meetings — filling out papers and documents, per usual. Still, every now and then the Ancient's mind wanders, thinking about his partner. Should he just ask what was wrong? Sure, it may lead to Shadow Milk lashing out and running off for a short period of time, but it didn't make his life better if he never asked the jester what was wrong.
Pure Vanilla quickly finished up his documents much faster than usual, packing them into neat piles on his desk before sitting on the plush bed.
Having nothing else to do but wait for Shadow Milk, he decides to sit out on the balcony and get fresh air. He'd been sitting for a few hours now anyways. Opening the door to his large balcony, Pure Vanilla simply sat on the swing recently installed by the Master of Deceit himself. Of course, he sat on it more than Pure Vanilla ever did, but it was nice to finally have a place to rest out here.
As the swing rocked slowly, the Healer found himself drifting off mentally to somewhere else until he felt a little extra jolt on the swing. He blinked out of his daze, noticing a black cat sitting next to him.
Of course it was Shadow Milk to make an entrance as such. Pure Vanilla gently stroked the cat's back — the creature leaning into the touch and purring — before picking it up and setting the feline onto his lap. It yawned once before transforming back into Shadow Milk, who was now resting his head against his partner's chest.
“What made you arrive so suddenly, dear?”
The jester tips his head up, not offering much of an answer except a huff, “...dunno. Just felt like it.”
…this wasn't like Shadow Milk too often. He could be a bit grumpy, but never as direct as he was right now.
Guess the right thing to do was just full on asking him what was wrong. It already gave Pure Vanilla anxiety just by waiting. “Shadow Milk, dear,” the Ancient asked, his partner tilting his head to look up at him. Shadow Milk was just so beautiful…
“Oh, uhm, well, may we go back inside? If that's alright, of course.” His partner nodded, the blonde taking him by the hand and leading him onto their shared bed.
Shadow Milk played around with his wrist cuff, quiet as Pure Vanilla asked him another question. “Bluebird, is it alright if I ask you something else?”
He rolled his eyes, flicking dirt off of his sharp claws. “Sure, knock yourself out,” Shadow Milk replied, taking one of the Healer's hands with his own before continuing. “Not like I care much anyways.”
“How have you been as of late? You've just been a bit… distant, love. I just want to make sure that you're okay.”
Shadow Milk kept silent, the eyes in his hair becoming visibly more blurred and trying to avoid eye contact with Pure Vanilla's sky blue and gold gaze. “No… no. Nothing's wrong, ‘Nills. Really, it's nothing to worry about.”
“When you say that, I know you're lying, Shadow Milk. Can't you just tell me? I promise I won't judge you.”
The Master of Deceit felt his eyelids droop slightly, his throat suddenly feeling full as if he was being gagged. He tried shaking his head again, but he couldn't force it to move. Pure Vanilla softly rubbed Shadow Milk's back, trying to reassure him. “Love, I want you to know that this home is a safe place for you. It's alright to say whatever you need to say — and weep if you must as well. Bottling your emotions does no good.”
Shadow Milk finally nodded, sniffling once before leaning against his lover's shoulder. “I'm just… just tired, Nilly. It's really nothing…” Pure Vanilla felt a droplet of water fall onto the hand he had wrapped around Shadow Milk's, turning himself to face his other half before cupping a cheek.
Warm.
So, so warm.
He hadn't cried in a good while.
The warmth didn't feel real.
Shadow Milk choked once, trying to force down tears even as they kept running down his face — Pure Vanilla there to wipe each and every one with his thumb or a calming kiss to his cheek. His cyan and indigo eyes became glazed with tears, the Healer going even as far as to wipe those as well.
“It's alright, bluebird. I'm right here. It's always okay to feel tired or to cry,” Pure Vanilla cooed, giving his other half the most gentle, the most loving gaze he could. It broke his heart every time he saw Shadow Milk cry, but he had to be here to tell him he was loved.
“It's… it's lonely when you're.. y-you're gone for meetings… I keep having n-nightmares… nightmares as Fount…” Shadow Milk choked out, leaning into the smooth yet calloused tan hand of his beloved against his face. Idiot, Pure Vanilla knew Shadow Milk could grow separation anxiety when he was gone for too long — especially after his time in the Silver Tree.
The Ancient nodded as he listened to Shadow Milk's words through tears, eventually wrapping him into an embrace that left his other half sobbing against his neck. “...I also don't feel… feel like myself lately.”
“Whatever do you mean, bluebird?”
“I don't feel like.. like I feel comfortable just being called by ‘he’ everyday..”
Pure Vanilla stiffened slightly, still rubbing his hand against Shadow Milk's back. He'd gone through the same idea back during his Academy days — being transmasc as White Lily had told him. “Love, how do you feel you should be called then? I can order the staff to use whatever you wish as needed from now on.”
“...whatever. I don't care, I still know I'm masculine sometimes. I just change.. y'know?”
The Wielder of Truth nodded, wiping the last of Shadow Milk's tears that ran down his face. “Do you mind if I kiss you? I think you'd appreciate that.”
Shadow Milk eagerly nodded, smiling softly as Pure Vanilla lightly kissed him, both of them separating after a brief moment. “I feel a bit better.. thank you, Vanilla.”
“Of course, dear. Just don't wait so long before telling me about this kind of thing. You know I will never, ever judge you. Not like Truthless Recluse did.”
He nodded, turning his back to the Healer before settling against his chest. Pure Vanilla understood immediately, leaning back into the pillows and against the headboard before wrapping his legs around Shadow Milk's own.
“You just wanted affection as well, didn't you?”
Shadow Milk awkwardly nodded, sighing. “Yeah, yeah. I guess so. It helps.”
“Just know that I'm always here for you when you need it, my dear. Always will be. I promise. I love you.”
“Love you too, Pure Vanilla. Thank you.”
…
As the sun began to set, Pure Vanilla awoke from his nap with his other half in his arms only to spot his still resting.
And yet, the air felt lighter.
Problems never go away. Days will be dark, days will be light. We lose and we gain day by day. That's why we never take things for granted — we try and appreciate them for however long they are around.
Pure Vanilla could keep Shadow Milk forever alongside him — they were immortal, after all.
But real life, not so much. Things end, people leave, we see days pass by. Years, months, weeks, days, minutes, seconds.
It's never too late to make things right. To change life to what you want it to be. It's your life — live it the way you want to — no one can tell you otherwise. You will find someone to love, or even someone who simply cares for you. Even if it isn't forever, love them back. Tell them you appreciate them.
Make sure they're okay.
Because the quietest voices in the room might just have the loudest minds and the loudest tears.