Chapter Text
Jax's eyes dilated as Ribbit placed her bow on his left ear, which twitched at the new sensation. He'd just told her his entire backstory, something out of one of those dramatic TV shows he watched in the real world, and she didn't tell him he was lying or call him a murderer. Somehow, despite them now knowing what he had done, all they did was give him their red bow-tie. Was she crazy!?
"I might have killed my mother, and you're giving me things!? You don't think I'm a monster or anything?"
They laughed a bit, "It doesn't matter what I think. You're my friend. And for the record, you're not a monster just for defending yourself. Even if she wasn't physically attacking you, those words required defense on their own."
As her words sunk into his brain, he finally realized the meaning of her putting the bow on his ear instead of around his neck like they had it. The whole reason he talked to his mom that day, which had been overshadowed by what followed.
"Oh," he looked up at her. "Right. That." Now that he was thinking about it, a memory flashed into his head.
~A few months ago~
Jax sat in his room, staring at the mirror across from his bed. He closed his eyes, thoughts drifting to what he would look like as a girl. Strange, he knew, but he couldn't help but wonder. He imagined shorts that hugged a more prominent waist, a snug dark pink shirt under her overalls, which themselves had a more flattering cut, and winged eyeliner that brought out her eyes.
Speaking of which, when he opened his eyes, she was staring back at him. She was smiling and most notably, beautiful. She turned for him, showing off how the new cut of the overalls was filled out nicely, which earned a smile from him. She returned the smile, her eyeliner moving up as her eyes closed slightly. …Wait. She was copying his every move. He knew this was a mirror, but…
His gaze shifted down, causing him to jump back like a scared feline. Holy $#!*. He was her. He she had the curves, the outfit, the makeup. Well, she couldn't see her own face, but if the mirror showed her with it, she must have it. She grinned, properly grinned, for the first time in a long time. Not just that stupid performative smile, but one of pure joy.
Until the doorbell rung.
"Jax? You in there?" It was Ribbit, her his best friend since the day they had invited her him to play a prank on Ragatha together. It was the perfect blend of harmless and actually funny, which was right up Jax's alley.
The reality of the whole situation caught up to him and his breathing quickened. He could not let anyone see him like this. He wanted to bolt, to run like the rabbit he was. But out of everyone, maybe Ribbit would accept her. "…Yeah. Actually, I may have accidentally done something I could use some help with." She was comfortable with Ribbit, but maybe not that comfortable. She'd let them see her, but she'd play it off as a mistake for now. Confronting her feelings could wait for later.
The door opened, and Jax watched as the frog's expression turned from confusion to shock to a goofy @&$ smile. "Okay, I see how it is."
"Whaaat," she chuckled, "I just was wondering what I would look like as a girl, and somehow ended up like this. That's all."
"Sureeee." Ribbit moved to sit next to her. "I know that's probably not all, but I'll let you off this time, 'kay?"
She knew she could count on them. "Thanks."
"So, how'd you end up in this situation anyways? You seriously just imagined yourself differently and it happened?"
"Basically. I just closed my eyes, imagined it vividly, and boom. I was like this. Completely outta a novel, if you ask me."
This earned her a laugh. "For sure. Well, did you try, uh… picturing your usual self?"
"I did, but I think I was breathing too hard to focus." A total lie. She didn't try to reverse this at all, but she had to play it off as that for now. "I guess I could try again if you help me." Really, she just wanted more attention from her best friend. Who wouldn't?
"Alright, alright." She smirked, grabbing the rabbit's hand in hers. Ohhh, she knew exactly what she was doing. "Deep breaths, or whatever they say."
Unfortunately for Jax, this just made her pant and turn the same color as Ribbit's bow-tie. Despite herself, she managed to calm down for long enough to close her eyes and imagine her normal self. Thankfully(?), when she he opened his eyes, it had worked.
"Well, that was embarrassing." He stood up, getting a frown from the other. "Anyways, what did you come see me for in the first place?"
They hesitated before shaking their head and putting on a half smile. "I, uh, wanted to see if you could hang out? I think Kaufmo was at the cafe if you're up to it."
"Oh yeah, a hot chocolate sounds good right now. Race you there!"
"Hey! Giving yourself a head start, really Jax!? …Actually, I'm not surprised…"
~~~
Jax stood with his hands in fists, face flushed the color of Ribbit's bow-tie yet again. For some reason, Caine had decided that for this adventure, Jax just needed to have a different outfit. And of course that outfit had to be the one he had imagined just a week ago.
"Uh, Jax? Are you alright?" Ragatha was the first one to say anything, because of course she was, that girl was always infuriatingly nice.
"Just peachy." He muttered through gritted teeth, though he supposed his teeth were gritted 95% of the time.
He continued the rest of the adventure like this, red and making hasty remarks at every road block. The others definitely noticed something was up, but after his dismissal of Ragatha, they didn't pry. Ribbit and Kaufmo tried to cheer him up, but even they gave up after a bit.
Once they got back to the circus, Jax looked down expectantly, only to be disappointed(?) by his lack of outfit change. "Oh come on Caine!" He started to head back to his room, before a hand closed around his wrist.
"Jax?" He turned to find Ribbit with concern in their eyes. "Wanna talk? About this?" She gestured to his outfit.
Ugh, he guessed if it had to be anyone, he'd rather talk to Ribbit. "Sure." If he didn't accept her request, the others would definitely ask instead. So he followed them back to their room to go through whatever talk she had decided he needed.
He decided to sit cross-legged with his back to their mirror, and they sat across from him against their bed. "So… what did you wanna talk about?"
"Really?" She deadpanned, "We need to talk about the outfit, what else would it be?"
Riiight. That. He sighed and ended up just diving into it. "Okay, yeah, I can see why you'd want to talk about that, but there's not much to talk about. I'm a guy, and being seen that way made me uncomfortable. We good?"
"No we are not good," they sighed before continuing, "You literally came up with that outfit yourself, and you didn't seem all that uncomfortable a week ago when you conjured it up."
"Okay, maybe it's not that bad when it's just you, but I don't want the others seeing me in that! I know you won't judge me for being a femboy or whatever they call it, but forgive me if I'm a little embarrassed with letting others assume I'm some creep."
The other raised an eyebrow, "We literally hang out with Kaufmo. The guy can't make an appropriate joke to save his life. He literally tried to comfort you by saying you 'had nice melons at least'."
"That's exactly it though! I'm associated with him, so if I go around strutting in some woman's clothes, people will assume this is my version of his weird jokes!"
"Really, Jax?" She snorted. "Kinger doesn't know what's going on half the time, and Ragatha's too nice to assume bad of anybody. That leaves Kaufy and I, who are literally your best friends. I think you'll survive."
"Ugh." His shoulders sunk, "…Maybe I'm just getting in my head. I dunno."
"Yeah, and for the record, you look really pretty like this. As much as Kaufmo's jokes suck, not being flat as a board suits you quite well. I wish I had something other than a bow-tie."
This coaxed a laugh out of the rabbit. "I guess being clothed helps you get away with more, huh?"
"That's not what I meant—" they cut themself off. "Wait, is your tail wagging?"
Crap. "Noooo…"
"It so is!"
"Well uh nice talk, bye!" He bolted out, truly feeling like he had proper rabbit haunches with the speed he was achieving.
"Get back here!" They shouted, fast on his tail (heh), being a frog and all. "I was gonna offer to ask Caine to give you back your outfit, but if you're gonna run away like this I'll have to smother you instead!"
"Ooo, really!?" He turned around to flash his signature grin, only to be tackled to the couch, startling poor Ragatha who sat mere inches from where he landed.
"Jack@&$!" She turned to the ragdoll, "Sorry!"
"It's alright," Ragatha set aside the book she was reading and picked up the hem of her dress. "I'll, um… leave you two alone."
Jax started to strangle Ribbit and she choked out, "So, what about that offer to ask Caine?"
~Present day~
He shook his head. Now was not the time for reflecting. Focus.
"Wanna talk about it?" Ribbit smiled, "We've been avoiding the topic for a while, but now seems like a good time, doesn't it?"
He hesitated, but eventually obliged. "Okay. I'll, uh, try not to chicken out this time. Don't think I really can at this point."
They chuckled, "Yeah no, that's not happening. Not when we've both done so well today."
"So… where should we start?"
The other sat in thought for a moment before asking, "Do you want to be a woman?"
"Huh!?" Jax sputtered, caught off guard. He really shouldn't be, Ribbit had always been direct, but d@m#.
"Or alternatively, do you feel like one?"
"Uhhhh, I guess so? I always gravitated towards feminine things as a way to prove something to my parents, but they chastised me for it so relentlessly that I swung the complete opposite direction."
"Prove something?" Ribbit repeated, tilting her head.
He shrugged, "I never could understand the feeling, but maybe my brain was trying to tell me I was trans, if that's what you're thinking."
"Hmm, I suppose that could make sense." She was quiet for a moment before speaking up again, "Did you like dressing more feminine? Like the one outfit you came up with?"
"Why do I feel like I'm in an interview?"
"Get your head 'out the fourth wall and answer the question."
"Jeez, alright, alright." He pondered it for a bit. "At first I thought I wouldn't, but I really do. I was smiling like an idiot before you came in that one day, y'know."
"Really?" Their eyes lit up. "Somehow I'm not actually surprised."
Jax sulked. "Of course you aren't."
"…What is that supposed to mean?"
"I mean," the words caught in his throat. "You've been so calm throughout this whole journey," he gestured wildly with his hands, "I mean, you've never questioned me or called me crazy. It's almost as if you have some… prior experience or something."
Ribbit paled. "Yeah uh, about that… I never thought to tell anyone, but I'm trans too."
"Actually?" Jax's pupils dilated suddenly.
"Yep, I just figured it out a while before I ended up in the circus, so I'd already started transitioning and becoming sure of myself. …You're not upset I didn't tell you?"
He laughed. "If I knew, I probably wouldn't have either. Plus, it's not like you only told Kaufy or something. Then I'd question you a bit." This got a giggle out of the other.
"Yeah, I would question myself too if I did that…" she zoned out before whispering, "and, uh, Jax?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever thought of if you'd want to go by a different name?"
He sat in silence for a bit before responding. "Uh… not really. I'll get back to you once I figure something out though."
"Alright, and… thank you for talking to me about this."
"Of course." He smiled. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Hey, Ribbit?" He recognized Kaufmo's voice immediately. "I couldn't find Jax to ask him, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. I'm craving hot chocolate again."
"Sure," they glanced at the rabbit next to them, "and Jax is in here."
The clown chuckled on the other side of the door. "Wow, hanging out without me, huh?"
"You guys hung out plenty without me before I came, so it's my turn now!" He pocketed Ribbit's bow-tie before whispering, "m'not ready yet."
She nodded in understanding, conjuring herself a new bow-tie before the two ran out to meet Kaufmo.