Chapter Text
Paul was laying in his bed. Eyes wide open as he stared at his ceiling. In the loneliness of his room there was the white noise of his fan running next to him and that's all he had been hearing all night.
Nothing else of note in his room… No windows, no lights in sight, not even another sound to mention. Only him in the dark of his room. Abruptly his alarm went off. Even the loud sound of the blaring alarm barely made Paul react.
Paul knew what he had to face. Once again.
With one long deep breath in, he breathed out a defeated sigh. Paul looked over at the clock, a red glowing 4:00 am displayed on his clock. Reaching out his hand he quietly clicked the button, stopping the noisy clock.
He stared at it, not wanting the time to be true. A trick that his eyes were playing on him. But as he watched the minutes tick on, he knew it was real. It was a wish in the dark for this to be a hallucination.
Paul's body didn't even allow him to get any sleep. Again. He didn't know how many days he could keep getting up and work sleep deprived before it was blatantly obvious to his peers.
“Fuck” Paul whispered.
He did his best to sit up, only to lose his balance easily and flopping back onto the bed. He stretched out, letting out a pained yelp after he returned to his normal position.
“My bones hurt so much…” Paul thought.
Even relaxing his muscles back to normal felt painful.
Getting up, he looked over to the closet. He dreaded the day before him. Not because there was anything particularly bad happening, it was a “house” keeping day. You couldn’t be enthusiastic about an easy day if you haven’t been running on any sleep for the past 3 days.
Paul stumbled one to the closet. Barely catching himself on the wall before he fell on his ass. Beginning to get dressed for the day…
It took him a drastic amount of time compared to normal. He had to start getting ready sooner now, since being this sleep deprived drained him of all his energy. Taking away the energy needed to get ready in the mornings on his scheduled time.
A quick glance at the time made Paul’s eyes widen. Did it REALLY take him 25 minutes to get changed!?
“This routine gets slower as the days go on… I don't want anyone to notice, I'll be able to handle this myself”
Paul made his way out of his room, it was quiet. The normally loud chatter and flooding of people in these hallways were gone. Sure there were guards on watch, but they weren’t talking. At all. Not a peep from their mouths. He checked his uniform pockets and made sure he had his cigarettes before heading to the elevator.
He walked past a few guards who gave confused glances. Paul was out of his room before anyone regularly. It was rare to ever see him out after someone else was awake. Even this early in the morning was questionable.
Paul paid no mind, using the elevator to go down to the base floor. He got outside, the nice morning wind hitting him. It was chilly, which made Paul regret not bringing a coat. However, there was no time to ponder on the mistake of his missing action. He took out his pack of cigarettes, grabbing one out. Putting his pack away. Then reaching in the opposite pocket for a lighter.
He froze, not able to feel his lighter. He frantically searched his other pockets for it, eventually he gave into the fact that it was still in his room. Paul had forgotten about it.. which he’d never done before. He huffed, muttering something before throwing his head back.
Paul yelped as his head hit the brick wall of the base at full force. He sat there dazed for a moment, his breath heavy. It wasn’t worth it, there was no time to come back out. He went back to the base, slamming the door behind him.
It was stupid, lately his days had been ruined by what? Merely the fact that he couldn’t fall asleep. Paul knew he should be able to keep his normal routine but he had to wake up early because his body kept slowing down every day that passed without sleep.
The guards that he passed all felt anxious… Paul came in way too early for his normal morning smoke and he came in pissed off.
As Paul made his way to the hall that connected to his room. He felt something on his neck. That feeling slowed down his storm through the hall. The feeling was a slow trickle that went down his head, to his neck, and now slipped down his back.
“Did I hit my head that hard? ..No way” Paul thought, looking between his room and the bathroom.
He made a sharp detour to the bathroom. This way he could get the blood cleaned up and the wound covered. Paul would rather be a few minutes late than be on time to have Tord send him back because he was bleeding out the back of his head(as if Tord would notice.)
Paul took a small rag, warming up the water that rushed out the sink. The rag got drenched in warm water. As Paul cleaned the blood on his neck, he moved to his head. Taking a sharp breath followed by a mumbled cuss. Given the short time frame he wasn't able to clean his back. He threw the rag to the side. Grabbing a small towel and replacing where the rag once was on his head.
Back in his room he sat at his desk, holding the towel hard against the back of his head. As his body laid limb in that chair, his head was throbbing so much that Paul couldn’t continue with anything else. He knew he needed to get to work, but his body didn’t let him move. It was trying everything in its power to get a moment's rest, however his brain wasn't allowing that to happen.
Neither did Paul want to risk getting in trouble to give his body the sleep it so desperately needed. He left the bloodied towel on the desk. By now the bleeding had slowed enough.
Soon Tord heard his office door open, looking up. His cold face began to soften for a moment as he saw Paul. Quickly Tord snapped out of it. Paul couldn’t see him like that, what would his second-in-command think?
“Hello, sir” Paul said, his voice soft spoken.
Tord paused, stunned. He raised an eyebrow, Paul wasn’t this quiet, what happened to his authoritative and confident voice? Right now his tone sounded shy in nature.
Analyzing Paul, Tord could tell Paul looked as if he wanted to ask Tord for a favor. Not one he could land his finger on but he didn’t, Paul knew he couldn't.
Paul knew it would be inappropriate to ask his leader for the day off to rest. Imagine that, a whole day for sleeping… The door silently shut behind him as he folded his arms behind his back. Keeping up that perfect assistant look. For Tord.
“What do you need me to do today?” Paul said, standing tall.
Tord studied Paul for a moment. Narrowing his eyes as he looked at his second-in-command, really taking in his physical appearance and actions. Paul’s eyebags were much darker than what was normal and the whites of his eyes were slightly redder. He noticed the more frequent yawns and wobbly nature of his stance as well as Paul’s body tremored when he exhaled.
“You look tired, exceptionally tired,” Tord said.
“It’s not an issue, sir. It’s the normal amount of tiredness we’ve both grown used to” Paul lied, fidgeting with his hands behind his back.
Tord recognized that Paul was lying but found it difficult to call out him on his habits. Paul stuck to those habits, even if they were terrible for his health. Paul was stubborn like that but so was Tord… Two peas in a pot when it came to having terrible habits to help them through the stress of their job.
“If you say so”
“I do have a few things for you to do, less than your regular load I suppose… No meetings so I'll have you watch over deliveries today and do a few miscellaneous tasks for me” Tord said, looking over papers.
Paul nodded, hyper aware of his slowed and heavy breath. He took a half step back, letting himself lean back against the wall. Hopefully it wasn't noticeable to Tord.
To his dismay it was noticeable, but Tord felt off commenting on it. His job wasn't to show concern… Therefore he kept quiet. He thought of small errands for Paul to do, keep him up on his feet and awake.
Make it feel as if he wasn't trying to take pity on Paul.
“There's a few boxes in storage that I need taken up here, would you mind taking them from down there to up in my office?” Tord asked, though it was more of a demand.
“Yes sir, I'll have them for you as soon as possible!” Paul exclaimed.
Slowly yet surely he got back on his feet and exited the office, barely shutting the door behind him. Tord sighed, he could worry about Paul after hours.
Then he realized he hadn't told Paul what had to be brought up. Either way he would need to come back to the office. For now Paul could take the toons to wake up further.
A small creak echoed into the strangely large storage room from the door. For the amount of items they went through it was surprisingly always packed full. Paul turned on the lights and made his way to the back of the room. Without instructions he could only guess what Tord needed.
He grabbed a few small boxes of medications, extra clothes and extra items. Snacks, extra pens, and such. Objects they went through quickly.
Paul was moving down the hall, box in hand. He felt a hand on his shoulder, making him jump. He whipped his head behind him and no one was there. A fearful thought ran through his brain, that touch felt so real. There has to be someone in there with him yet no one was here besides him. No one had been in there for a while but him. Then why did he feel his shoulder being touched?
He sped up his walk to Tord's office, still anxious about what happened. Paul needed to take a minute to breathe before entering that office… There was no need to add stress onto Tord or himself.
“Hey.. you didn't tell me what you needed so I assumed” Paul subconsciously whispered.
He set the boxes down on Tord's desk. He backed away and looked past the boxes. Confusion flooded his face as Tord was staring at him with something he didn't recognize.
“What's wrong sir?” Paul asked?
“You're whispering? Why?” Tord questioned?
It instantly dawned on Paul what he did. He did it subconsciously but he couldn't figure out why he did it…
“I cannot give a reason as to why… I didn't mean to do that” Paul mumbled.
Tord groaned, rolling his eyes. Spinning his chair around to face away from Paul. He was ticked off with Paul's odd behavior. This action only felt degrading to Paul… Was he doing his job terribly? Is that Tord refusing to face him!?
His brain went through all the possibilities, overthinking about his simple decision. Paul never did this fully rested but he wasn't fully rested so he kept having these strong mood swings and bad thoughts.
“There’s a delivery you should be heading off to, in the right wing of the second base”
Paul was snapped out of thoughts by Tord's voice grounding him again.
“Do you have to send me out in the cold this early?” Paul joked, his tired tone made him seem more irritated then need be.
“Go Paul, you can’t be late”
A short nod sent Paul away. He took a quick pit stop to his room to grab his nice jacket, gloves, and a soft hat. It took longer than he wanted but eventually he made it out of his base. As the sudden snow began to pick it, it was going to make his trip over to the southern base harder.
Paul hopped in a car and started it. The rush of warm air blowing relaxed Paul. He carefully drove out of the lot and made his way over to the delivery point.
He came into the base, shaking his body free of the snow. While making his way to the area where the trucks were unloaded, he came across Patryck. Paul gave him a quick wave and kept going. Something must have put off Patryck about Paul’s appearance because Paul could hear his voice behind him.
“Hey Paul, wait come back here” Patryck said, catching up to Paul.
Paul stretched his hands up, letting out a long yawn.
“What's up Pat?” Paul asked.
“Honestly you look exhausted, how long have you slept in the past few days?” Patryck asked, crossing his arms.
“If I’m being honest I haven’t… At all”
Paul scratched the back off his neck nervously, chuckling. He opened his eyes. Pausing his movements when he saw the growing distress on Patryck’s face. A sudden awkward tension rose between them.
“You know that’s a safety concern right?! You can’t be going around and doing your job effectively like this!” Patryck lectured.
“Patryck I don’t get sick days, I need to stay alert about everything so Red doesn’t have so much on his plate.” Paul took a sudden pause before speaking again, “you know my job is to make sure everything runs as it should be”
“You can not be doing your job correctly like this…”
“Yes I can! I have been and I will continue too”
Patryck put his thumb and pointer finger over his nosebridge, rubbing his them against his nosebridge. He dragged his hand down and off his face as he grunted.
“You have to tell Red at once, no excuses,” Patryck insisted.
“He won’t care” Paul muttered, he knew he wasn’t fully telling the truth.
Patryck's eye twitched at Paul’s idiocy. Not only was he putting HIMSELF in danger by operating and managing other people like this but he was putting said people in danger too! What happened if he made an uncorrected decision due to his lapse in judgement.
“Fine, go do whatever you want but you need to tell him tonight” Patryck demanded. “There’s no safe way for you to be sleep deprived for 4 days and on top of that keep working your regular load”
With that Patryck was off, walking away to where his duties called him. Paul stood there, a bit shaken. He started to develop the reality of his situation.
Was he really going to be able to keep up with work if he wasn’t sleeping? Paul could tell that his actions had been much slower but what else had been happening that he couldn’t tell, but everyone else could?
He shook off those thoughts for now… Maybe Patryck was right, telling Tord wouldn’t be the end of the world. For now he went back to the loading bay, overseeing the deliveries and made everything there and accounted for.
Once he was done with that he would tell Tord. For sure.