Chapter Text
“I… I know me and Noelle are… getting kinda close, but... You’re still a big deal to me, too. So, uh… Cheer up, okay?”
Susie can see the bags under Kris’s eyes, despite supposedly sleeping the entire day. Their shoulders are slumped and their hair is unbrushed, the breeze rustling their bangs over their tired eyes.
Their gaze has rarely left her since she picked them up from their house. Much like Noelle’s hadn’t, for the entirety of their date at the festival. Just like hers, there’s something… off about it. But where Noelle’s had been excited, almost fervent, Kris’s… it seems resigned, almost?
But… Kris is smiling, tiny but there, and Susie has done everything she could think of to lift their weird mood. She’s at a loss of what more she can do.
So she forces herself to smile, says, “See ya!” and walks away. Leaving Kris, with the beach and Noelle further on from them.
Sunset made the golden leaves of Hometown a ruddy orange, nearly red. Later on, the image of Kris, standing there among those strange colors, sticks in Susie’s brain like something caught between her teeth. Wrong and a little painful.
She stops by Flower King on the way back to the ice cream stand. Susie wants to try a second go at making a flower crown- maybe even make two of them, one for Noelle and Kris both. When she asks Asgore inside if she’s allowed to take that many flowers, if she should pay this time (somehow), he gives her a whole bouquet of them for free.
“Anyone Kris is friends with gets the family discount,” Asgore tells her warmly, “and family always gets flowers for free!”
Susie tries not to hug the bouquet too tightly, her chest filled with a tangle of happiness. Family. With her? What a thought.
She mumbles a hurried thank-you and leaves. The door bangs shut behind her, loud in the empty streets of Hometown. Mostly empty. Susie’s eyes catch movement further up the street and sees Catti, lurking in the doorway to her home. The voting booth is half-disassembled, some of its pieces in her hands.
When Susie meets her eyes, Catti’s expression turns scornful. She slams the door shut as she goes inside.
Susie scoffs. Whatever. Noelle and Kris don’t care what other people think of them hanging out, so she won’t either.
She sits on the side of the street, near the ice cream stand, and fiddles with the flowers. Their stems are flexible, but her fingers feel thick and uncoordinated as she tries to mimic Ralsei’s careful paws. She snaps a handful clean in half. She eats those ones, to tide herself over until the ice cream is ready.
“whatcha makin,” Sans asks.
“Nunyabizness,” Susie mutters. She curses as she tries to thread the stems together, the braid falling apart every time.
“better hurry with whatever it is. flowers dry out and break without water.” Sans turns his head toward the treeline at the end of the street, where the sunset has sunk almost completely below it. “‘course, too much water also makes ‘em rot.”
Susie ignores his comments. The fuck does the convenience store guy know about flowers, anyway?
She has two flower crowns finished by the time the ice cream is ready. She puts them carefully around one wrist as she carries two cones back with her. Susie struggles to decide who gets ice cream and who doesn’t for a minute. She really wants another, she has no idea when she’ll get breakfast tomorrow, but Kris hasn’t even had one yet, and she can’t just not give one to Noelle. Then, she remembers the sandwich bread Kris has; duh, one cone will be for Noelle, and Susie and Kris can split the ice cream sandwich.
As she passes it, Susie looks in the window of Flower King to wave at Asgore. She doesn’t see him and the room looks kinda messy, pots overturned and bags of soil spilled on the floor. She figures he must be in the back getting cleaning supplies.
She keeps walking.
The shoreline is empty.
Ice cream is melting over her knuckles as she stands there. On her arm, the flower crowns’ petals are wilting and their stems are unwinding again.
“Guys?” Susie calls, voice travelling across the lake water. Placid waves wash over each other, the only noise besides the wind. No one answers her.
Susie looks at the two cones in her hands. At the two crowns.
…Maybe they didn’t ditch her on purpose? Maybe… Maybe they thought she ditched them and went looking for her, and they all somehow missed each other on the single mainstreet this town has?
Yeah. Right. Who is she even kidding?
Susie shoves the two cones into her mouth, gagging on the brain freeze. They taste overly sweet and have ice crystals that bite into her gums. She balls up the flower crowns and throws them into the lake. They float on top of the water, petals and stems drifting apart slowly in the current.
Susie turns and stomps off, hands shoved in her pockets and head down. She doesn’t look up at anyone as she heads back to the school, ignoring the crowd starting to trickle out from the King and Queen ceremony. She can still feel everyone’s eyes on her as she leaves the empty fucking shoreline behind.
She doesn’t talk to anyone in Castletown either. Just goes to her room and slams the door shut, throwing herself into her bed and enjoying the jolts of pain the spikes cause. Matches the feeling wrapped around her heart, a tangle of thorns pressing deeper with each breath.
Those two better have a good explanation later, she swears to the universe, pretending she isn’t getting her pillow wet as she takes unsteady breaths.
She pretends to be asleep when Ralsei opens the door to check on her. Susie waits, half wanting him to call out to her, half wanting him to just go away already.
When Ralsei leaves without saying anything at all, she just feels worse.
When she wakes up the next day, her head hurts and she feels muzzily from dehydration. Ralsei’s good morning cake does nothing to curb the hunger in her belly, so Susie has to surrender to reality’s needs and head back to the Light World.
She doesn’t feel like going to her apartment and facing questions about where she’s been- or worse, no questions at all. So, Susie bums around what passes for ‘downtown’ in this tiny place. She’s hoping someone left something decent in the trash from yesterday. She’d kill for another of those cinnamon buns.
It’s kinda early still, but that’s when she’s less likely to be bothered by people for stealing garbage. No luck on the cinnamon buns, though, since the owner is outside taking down decorations. When Susie starts to walk past her to head toward ICE-E’s, the bunny monster actually stops what she’s doing and just… stares at her.
The expression is a lot less friendly than when Susie was with Noelle, or even Kris. The lady looks surprised, and wary.
“What?” Susie says, hunching her shoulders. She tries to keep the defensive growl out of her voice, but old habits die hard.
The lady opens her mouth, then closes it. She looks deeply troubled.
“What?” Susie growls.
“…You should get home, darlin’,” says the diner lady.
“Why’s that?” Susie challenges. Is it because of the ‘free lemonade’ she made with Kris yesterday? She’d been pretty certain they weren’t being watched when she did that, and it wasn’t even the diner’s stand, but some store owners are crazy vigilant about people stealing even sugar packets.
Diner lady frowns deeper.
Movement through the window- her sister is looking out at them, expression vaguely panicky as she sees Susie. Sister lady knocks on the window, beckoning diner lady inside with hurried gestures.
Diner lady sighs, but goes. “You seemed like a nice kid, when you came by the last few times,” she says as she opens the door. “Just… head home, and answer everything truthfully. I’m sure things will sort themselves out.”
Susie feels wrongfooted. “Answer who? What’re you talking about?”
She gives Susie a pitying look.
“Hun… the police went to your house just this morning. They’ll be looking to speak with you.”
Susie feels like the ground is lurching beneath her feet.
“Why?” she rasps out. “What do they want with me?”
Diner lady looks even more pitying, now.
“Kris, Noelle, and Mr. Dreemur. You were the last one seen with all the three of ‘em, before they disappeared.”
“You aren’t in trouble, Susie. We just need to ask you a few questions… We want to help your friends. We need your help to do so.”
Susie keeps her hands flat on her knees, controlling how her claws want to flex. She’s hyper aware of her big, hunched shoulders, and grinding yellow fangs. Keep your body language calm. Don’t give anyone an excuse. She’s been here many times before, but never… never with a cop.
Deputy Napstablook has one of those dog monsters with them, taking notes on every little thing Susie is going to say. They’re all crammed awkwardly into the small kitchen, sitting at the shitty table Susie’s family took from a curbside years ago. In the bedroom, Susie can hear a muffled voice speaking tersely. Her mom, on the phone with her dad.
She hadn’t been happy to open the door and see her standing there. Susie got the feeling she’d been hoping she’d gone missing, too.
Junior Deputy Lesser Dog taps its pen against the notebook, prompting Deputy Napstablook to continue speaking.
“Um… So… Where were you between the hours of nine o’clock until this morning?”
“School,” Susie answers shortly. She minds her teeth.
“On a weekend?” Napstablook questions. “Overnight?”
Susie shrugs. “Got unfinished homework.”
“How did you get into the school? It should be locked.”
“…Kris has a spare key, from their mom. They got us permission to do… extracurricular work. Together.”
Napstablook’s big eyes blink once. Calm. Lesser Dog writes the information down.
Susie’s palms prickle with sweat.
“…Your mother said she didn’t know where you were last night. Or the night before… Ms. Dreemur says you stayed at her house that night. She also said you called your mother for permission for the sleepover… but your mother was unaware.”
Susie resists the urge to shift uncomfortably. “I… didn’t call her.”
“Why?”
Susie stares hard at the table, stomach curdling with embarrassment and anxiety.
“She… wouldn’t care even if I asked permission first,” Susie says. “I… I have a lotta freedom, I guess. About what I do.”
Lesser Dog writes that down. Susie wants to sink into the floor and disappear.
“Was Kris Dreemur with you at the school last night?” Napstablook asks.
“No.”
“Was Noelle Holiday?”
“No…”
“Do you know where they were?”
“They… I…” Susie gives in and lets herself make fists, clutching at her torn up jeans. “They were meeting at the lake in the evening. After I walked with Kris around the Festival a bit. I was gonna meet them there, after I got us ice cream. They weren’t there when I did and I didn’t see ‘em afterwards, okay? I have no idea where they went.”
Lesser Dog writes quickly, tongue sticking out at a determined angle.
Yesterday, Deputy Napstablook seemed like such a laid back, helpless sort of monster- now, they actually suit the badge on their chest. They’re staring at Susie with an evaluating gaze, completely unreadable.
Susie wishes her mom had stuck around for the questioning. She’d been told guardians were allowed to be present when the police interview a minor- but she’d declined and walked out of the room, already back on the phone.
She’d lowered her voice a bit, but Susie could still hear her when she said, “It’s finally happened.”
Susie’s eyes burn with tears. She blinks them away, refusing to let them fall.
The questions continue.
“Thank you for your cooperation,” Deputy Napstablook says as they float out the door, Lesser Dog following. “If you remember anything else… Please call us immediately.”
Susie’s mom replies in a curt voice, promising she will. She shuts the door behind them, and then it’s just her and Susie in their tiny apartment.
Susie’s body tenses up as her mother turns.
It wasn’t me I didn’t do anything I didn’t fucking DO ANYTHING I don’t know where they went they left me they fucking DITCHED ME OKAY I don’t what happened to Mr. Dreemur I barely fucking talked to him I didn’t see anyone I know I know I KNOW I FUCK UP A LOT BUT THIS ISN’T
why don’t you EVER take my side you’re my fucking mother would it kill you to act like it for ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
THEY’RE MY FRIENDS maybe- maybe something else even SHUT UP ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS you never give a shit what I’m doing with my life I was gone the last two fucking days did you even notice did you even care you don’t get to police who I fucking date after that AND EVEN IF THEY DID DITCH ME FOR EACH OTHER I’D NEVER HURT THEM OVER IT
Fuck you fuck you I’d never do that don’t you dare fucking imply I ever would I’m not some sicko who’d force people to return my feelings I actually have a functioning fucking heart unlike SOME PEOPLE
FUCK YOU I BET YOU’RE WISHING I WAS MISSING TOO YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF I’M ALIVE OR DEAD
I hate you I hate you I hate you I HATE YOU
Susie slams the door so hard she hears something crack. She storms down the steps, forcing her legs to work even as she breathes in ragged gulps. She wobbles as she roughly scrubs at her face, choking on the scream that wants to escape her sore throat.
People’s eyes follow her. The whole town has heard by now- the Dreemur kid and the mayor’s daughter are missing, Asgore Dreemur is missing with signs of a struggle- all of them last seen talking to the weeping freak stumbling down Hometown’s mainstreet.
“We’re hoping this all will help us find them,” Deputy Napstablook had said at the end of the interview, even as their eyes had been asking a final unspoken question.
Did you do this?
No, she wants to scream. I didn’t have anything to do with this! I don’t know what happened to any of them! Please, please believe me, I’d never hurt any of them!
Susie needs someone, anyone to believe her.
She finds herself on the lawn of a familiar home. She stands at the edge of it, uncertain and ashamed, until the door opens.
Toriel looks… bad. Her fur is a mess and her glasses are slipping down her nose. She looks so tired and scared.
Susie finds she can’t make her voice work at all. She shakes under the goat monster’s gaze. She waits for rejection.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Toriel says softly, opening her arms. “Come here.”
Susie dissolves into tears, running into the embrace. Toriel catches her easily and holds her tightly, shushing her with gentle words.
“I-I do-don’t know wh-where they went, I’m so-sorry, y-you gotta belie-eve me, I di-didn’t do anyth-thing, I w-wouldn’t hurt ‘em, they’re- they’re my friends-”
“Susie, sweetheart,” Toriel says, her voice rough with emotion. “I know. Hush, hush. I know. You’re a good girl. You care so much about them. You’re not even slightly capable of something like.” She smooths a hand over Susie’s head, petting her as Susie hiccups and cries. “It’d been foolish to think any child could be capable of disappearing three healthy people at once. Never mind one as kind as you.”
Susie presses her face into Toriel’s sweater and cries harder.
“The officers are working very hard to find everyone,” Toriel is saying. “I’m sure it’s all going to be resolved soon, so… don’t worry about Kris and the others, alright, Susie?”
Her words sound… rote. Like she’s said them too many times and it’s more like a mantra than a sentence any more.
Susie can’t tell who she’s trying to comfort more. Susie, or herself.
“’kay,” she replies miserably, staring into the cup of hot chocolate Toriel made her. It didn’t taste like anything when she’d taken a sip, so now it’s going cold in her hands.
Toriel talks herself in comforting circles- probably for Susie’s benefit. She should leave the poor woman alone, she’s probably even more worried than Susie is, but…
Susie lingers in the warm yellow lighting of Kris’s home. If she pretends hard enough, it almost feels like they’re about to walk down the stairs any minute now.
It… It has to have been the Knight that took them. There’s no one else Susie can think of. But why take Noelle and Mr. Dreemur? Noelle was in that one Dark World, sure, but she thinks it was a dream. And Asgore has no connection at all.
…And what if it wasn’t the Knight? What if this isn’t a magical Dark World problem. What if it’s a real world, real danger kind of problem. What is Susie supposed to do against that?
She doesn’t even know what she’s going to do about the Knight if it is them.
Kris is missing. And Susie feels lost without them.
Toriel sighs deeply. She hasn’t drunk much of her hot chocolate either.
“I worry how Carol and Rudy are taking this,” Toriel confides softly. “Last time, I could at least devote my own energy to comforting them. Now… Ah, but never mind. A child doesn’t need to hear these things.”
Susie says nothing to that. She sips at her drink instead. It’s cold on her tongue.
“Take care of yourself,” Toriel says, hugging Susie at the door. “And come by whenever you need to. We can wait together for the police to call.”
“Thanks… I will,” Susie promises, holding the older woman tight. Mrs. Dreemur still smells like butterscotch and dryer sheets and just a tiny, little bit like apples. It makes Susie’s heart twist on itself.
She walks away reluctantly from the sense of safety Toriel’s hugs give her. There are things to do and she can’t hang around wasting time.
When she gets to the next street, she sees a small crowd in front of the gates to Noelle’s house. A handful of monsters in hi-vis vests, Deputy Napstablook and his dog monsters, and Mayor Carol. Various members of the crowd glance at Susie. Some are less neutral than others.
When the Mayor meets Susie’s eyes, Susie looks away first.
She walks faster, away from the icy stare of the woman leading the search for her own daughter (for a second time).
Susie goes to the school, shoving the key into the lock and disappearing inside. Castletown is subdued when she reaches it. Ralsei is the only one waiting for her.
“We heard,” is all he says, and Susie has never been more grateful for his mysterious knowledge. She had no idea how she was going to explain what happened without breaking down again.
She draws herself up, forcing down the turmoil she’s been feeling all day. “We’re gonna figure out if it was the Knight that did it. If they have Kris and the others, then we need to track them down and kick their ass pronto.”
Ralsei gives her a look she can’t entirely read.
“Of course, Susie,” he says. “Everyone’s ready in the castle, to help us plan our next move.”
She nods. “Then let’s get this show on the road.”
The meeting is. Not helpful.
There’s too many Darkners crammed into the main hall of the castle, too many big personalities vying for attention. Every time Susie thinks she’s gotten the topic back on track, someone else derails it into a new petty argument or a completely unrelated tangent.
She knows it logically, but Susie generally forgets how different Darkners can be from Lightners. They’re just as real, yes, but their priorities and approach to issues are fundamentally different. They each have pieces of what the ‘real world’ is like, but it’s limited to whichever house or room they came from. None of them have the full picture- except maybe Queen, but she’s… Queen. Her suggestions range from impossible (no internet means no satellite imaging) to nonsensical (Susie fails to see how more potassium will help find Kris) to… overzealous (breaking into every resident’s home until they find the Knight).
…Susie might consider the last option if they get desperate enough, but that option will absolutely get her arrested after. She’ll use it as a last-ditch plan.
It’s been hours by the time things wind down, and there’s still no plan A, B, or C. Only plan Z, which is going on a spree of B & E’s.
Susie’s losing track of her alphabets. She calls off the meeting and kicks everyone out, tired of their well-meaning chaos. Residents of the castle return to their rooms, leaving her and Ralsei alone.
At her despair of having no real plan still, Ralsei offers a hug. Susie takes it.
“’m not giving up,” Susie mumbles into his fur. “We’re gonna find Kris and the others.”
“…We’ll give it our best try,” Ralsei replies.
Susie can hear the doubt in his voice, even when he tries to hide it. She hugs him tighter, comforting him.
“You should sleep here tonight,” Ralsei tries to suggest, but Susie waves him off. She’s already gotten in trouble for disappearing once; she doesn’t need to add more fuel to that fire.
She feels kinda bad when Ralsei trails after her, trying to bargain that she stays the night. He must be really worried about her being alone in the Light World.
Susie holds him by the shoulders, standing at the edge of the beam back to the world above. “I’ll come back first thing tomorrow, okay? I promise.”
Ralsei looks a bit like he’s going to cry. “Please, Susie, I’ll make us popcorn and- and we can watch those scary movies you were telling me about. I’ll figure out how to make a TV that doesn’t become sentient, it’ll take me a bit but I can do it-!”
“Dude, I get it. It’s super scary that Kris and Noelle and Asgore got… taken… or whatever happened. But I can’t stay here.” Susie wants to. God, she’d never leave if she didn’t have to. “It already looks super sus that I was missing yesterday night. I gotta go be where people can see me… I’m not gonna be given the benefit of the doubt if I screw up right now.”
Ralsei takes a sad little gulp of breath. “…Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Susie.”
Susie steps into the light. Ralsei watches her go, mouth pinched and eyes worried.
It’s nighttime. Late.
Susie kicks at gravel on the sidewalk as she drags her feet. She doesn’t wanna go home… She’ll just end up screaming at her mom again. They probably got noise complaints for this morning as is- it’s gonna be a phone call to the police for disturbing the peace if they do it again, this late at night. One more black mark on Susie’s record.
She can’t just sleep out in the streets. That’d be suspicious as fuck, too. Damning, if she went and slept on the bench by the graveyard. No matter how much she wants to visit the old man right now, she doesn’t need to be the scary halfie kid hanging around graveyards at night.
…Toriel said she could visit whenever.
Susie reroutes away from her apartment, brittle hope in her chest.
She sees the lights before she even turns the corner.
Susie stops, hollowly staring at the blue and red lights flaring in the dark. Even from all the way back at the street, she can make out what’s happening.
Police tape criss-crosses the Dreemur home’s doorway. Two cop cars are parked on the lawn. Figures move around, cast in shadows by the alternating lights. Unfamiliar officers examining the crime scene.
Crime scene.
Toriel.
Susie can’t make herself move, rooted to the ground. She’s stuck staring blankly until the door to the nearest house opens, spilling light across the front lawn.
Susie startles as a figure comes striding out, marching right toward her. Catti, with her eyes glinting furiously in the darkness.
“You!” she hisses, thin fangs gleaming. “Beast! What have you done with them all?”
“I didn’t do anything to anyone,” Susie snarls defensively on autopilot. She finds herself retreating a few steps as Catti gets into her space, the shorter girl jabbing a clawed finger into her chest.
“I warned them, I warned both of them that you were bad fucking news, Beast!” Catti shouts, getting louder with each word. Her whiskers tremble, eyes blazing. “Neither of them listened, and now they’re gone. What foulness did you trespass upon them? What filth?”
Susie slaps her hand away, baring all her ugly fangs as she growls, “I didn’t do shit to my friends, I wouldn’t, so why don’t you step off before I make you?”
“Try it, try it, let everyone see the danger you are!” Catti yells. “You took the Dreemurs and Noelle- who next? Me? Berdly? Jockington? Who else has to get hurt before you’re satiated, Beast?!”
The hate in Catti’s words burns up and down her body like a tangible fury. Susie forces out a mean laugh, the noise rattling through her chest. “Beast this, Beast that. Get some fresh material, you’re repeating yourself. I didn’t do anything to them, and you’re just jealous your friends picked me over you!”
Catti reels back, stung. Tears gather in her eyes. Susie grins, even as her throat constricts and her chest burns and the names Beast rings in her bones.
“Catti?” calls someone from the house, stepping into the doorway. Susie glances away to see who, and misses the wind-up to Catti’s swing.
Claws rake across her cheek, five sharp needles cutting into her scales and slicing deep. The swipe nearly guts her eye and drags all the way down her face, catching on her bottom lip and tearing. Susie bellows in surprise and pain and reacts on instinct- she shoves her attacker away with all her strength, sending Catti tumbling across the yard.
Hot blood pours down her face, bleeding freely and heavily. Susie cries when she tries to stem it with her hand, agony rippling from the injury like fire. She feels the blood squelching between her fingers.
Susie’s eyes snap to Catti, lips pulled back in a pained, furious snarl. Catti is prone on the ground still, eyes darting between her bloodied claws and Susie.
She looks terrified.
The person in the doorway- Catti’s older sister- makes a distressed, disgusted noise. “Mom! Dad!” Catty screams. “Catti’s fighting with the kid the police were looking for!”
All the shouting has drawn attention. Susie can see officers making their way from Toriel’s home. They pick up speed when they spot her, standing in the slant of light from the Cattenheimer’s home.
Susie doesn’t think. She just runs.
Susie’s heart thunders in her chest. The streets fly beneath her feet. Distantly, she can hear a siren start.
She’s leaving a trail of blood, droplets hitting the pavement in time with her frantic, sprinting steps. The racing of her heart is making the gashes bleed faster. She doesn’t have time to try to stop it.
She leaves smears of blood on the door to the school. The key is slick between her fingers. Bursting in, she only slows enough to yank it shut behind her. For all the good it does her- they’ll find her trail soon enough.
The school is dark and empty. There are only four classrooms. She has nowhere to hide.
Nowhere except-
When Susie hauls open the closet, she takes the time to shed her coat. The ratty old thing will have to do the job. She resists the weightless drop into the void, clinging to the inside handles of the closet as her feet balance on the very lip of the doorframe.
She ties the two handles with her coat, sealing it shut from the inside. For now, it’ll act as a deterrent.
Susie falls.
Ralsei is waiting for her.
He looks sad. But not surprised to see her. Pieces fall into place very quickly in Susie’s mind.
He catches sight of the blood pouring from her face. “You’re hurt!” he gasps, reaching for her. Susie stops his hands from touching. “…Susie?”
She stands, pushing his away from herself. Her Dark World outfit is missing its coat. She doesn’t even give a shit her stumpy tail is exposed. She’s too pissed.
She tries to heal herself. …Apparently, Dark World magic has no effect on Light World injuries.
Whatever. Her face being extra fucked up is the least of her worries.
“You knew,” she finally says, breaking the uneasy silence.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Ralsei says evasively.
Susie breathes out harshly, ignoring how it agitates her injuries. “Bull-fucking-shit. You know exactly what I mean. You knew Toriel was gonna get taken. That’s why you were tryin’ so hard to get me to stay. You knew and you did nothing to help me stop it-!”
“Because you would have gotten hurt, Susie!” Ralsei bursts out. “The Knight is too much for you to take on alone, they could have even killed you if you got in their way again!”
“So we could have fought them together!” Susie shouts.
“We would have lost!”
“You don’t know that-”
“We don’t have Kris!”
Susie stops short. Ralsei is panting, wild in the eyes. “We don’t have Kris,” he repeats in a lower voice. “There’s… no hope of us beating the Knight without them. I’m sorry, Susie, but there just isn’t.”
Susie internally rails against that- the idea that they’re so weak they can’t save Kris’s mom without them there to help- but she stops as other thoughts come to mind, connected to Kris’s absence.
“…You were acting weird,” Susie accuses, dread pooling in her stomach. “The day of the festival. About Kris. About me not needing to go see them.”
“They needed rest,” Ralsei justifies, eyes darting away.
“Did you… Did you know what was going to happen?” Susie asks. The silence is loud between them.
She draws herself up, indignation and betrayal making her snarl. Her cuts reopen what clotting they’ve managed.
“You KNEW?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Ralsei babbles.
“You’re sorry? Kris was gonna get kidnapped and you knew and did nothing and you’re sorry?!”
“We wouldn’t have been able to stop it!”
Susie head spins. Her heart aches. Her face bleeds and drips onto her shirt as she tries and fails to not cry. “How do you know? We could have- I could have-”
“It was already too late to change anything, I’m so sorry,” Ralsei cries. He looks so fucking miserable but it doesn’t alleviate how angry Susie is. “This is the path events have taken and trying to interfere might make things even worse. I’m sorry.”
“What path? The prophecy? The prophecy is bullshit! I don’t believe any of it, least of all that Kris and their family and Noelle had to get kidnapped!!”
“I’m sorry,” Ralsei sobs. “I’m sorry, Susie. I’m sorry this is what’s happening. We got unlucky. I- I hoped It would guide us to a kinder fate, but we didn’t… Kris and Noelle… They’re somewhere we can’t follow anymore.”
“Where?” Susie demands, fully intending to follow anyway.
“Somewhere… Somewhere no one is supposed to go. Somewhere not even the Knight can reach. I’m sorry, we can’t go there… no one can.”
Susie stares at her crying friend. She… she doesn’t know what to think.
Toriel. Asgore. Noelle. Kris. All of them are gone and Ralsei… knew… or least suspected it might happen. And he didn’t say anything.
Susie chokes out, “What else are you hiding from me?” Despair clouds her thoughts, calling into doubt every single interaction she’s had with a person she thought she could trust.
Ralsei doesn’t seem to know how to answer.
“Why not take me, too?” Susie asks, voice breaking. The selfish core to her anger. Why did they leave her behind? “If it’s prophecy bullshit, I’m part of it, too! Why didn’t they take me with them? Why would Kris…” She takes in the sad, sad look Ralsei has. “Unless…?”
“…You could have been,” Ralsei says, like it pains him. “But Noelle-”
Susie can’t listen. She pushes past him, walking toward the town.
“Susie-”
“Don’t.”
He follows her. “It’s nothing you did wrong, I promise! Noelle just- she had the right attributes, too, and Kris made her strong enough she could fulfill-”
Susie whirls on him. Ralsei stops short, fresh tears springing into his eyes when he sees her face.
“I don’t wanna hear it,” she says, feeling somewhere to the left of her own body. The emotions she’s drowning in are just that horrible. “I don’t wanna hear how- how I was just a stand-in, until someone better came along. And I don’t wanna hear how you knew, how Kris knew, how fucking EVERYONE knew… except for me. Okay?
“…It’s not your fault,” Ralsei says weakly. “Please, please don’t blame yourself, Susie. You would have made an amazing hero, things just-”
“Stop TALKING!!” Susie roars.
Ralsei’s mouth snaps shut.
“Just…” Susie feels empty. “Just don’t talk to me. I’m done.”
Ralsei’s eyes go big and wet. “Susie-”
“What’d I just say?” she snarls at him, using a threatening tone she hasn’t in days. She looms over him, anger surging back and electrifying her whole body.
Ralsei just blinks out a few tears, unafraid.
“I was just trying to protect you,” he says in a quiet voice. “I thought… you would be safe here. From what’s to come. I was trying to keep you safe, because… you’re still my friend.” More tears slide into his fur; his voice trembles with emotions. “Even if we’re not in a prophecy together, you’re… you’re still my precious friend.”
Susie looks away.
“Yeah? Dunno if the feeling’s mutual anymore.”
She walks away without looking back. Ralsei doesn’t follow.
Susie doesn’t see a single Darkner as she walks to the castle. They all scattered at the shouting, probably. She goes straight to Kris’s room, slamming the door behind her and dragging a dresser in front of it after.
She’s left without any idea what to do once she’s done.
…Her face has stopped bleeding, at least. There’s no mirror in here to see how bad it is, so Susie explores with careful fingers. The five gashes are all different lengths, but the longest starts near her eye and ends in her bottom lip. The injuries are already swelling, as hot and angry as she felt during the fight.
It’s… it’s definitely going to leave a scar. A lot of scars.
Susie sits down slowly on the bed. She rests her elbows on her knees and puts her head in her hands.
She could almost fool herself into pretending they were cool battle scars, if only she wasn’t painfully, viciously aware of why she has them now.
Catti thinks she’s the culprit behind the kidnappings. She’s definitely not the only person who thinks so, if the police are looking for her again.
…If Susie tried to go to her apartment right now, would her mom even open the door?
Touching the long scratches on her face, Susie laughs wetly at herself. There’s still blood soaked all the way down her neck. She looks like a horror movie slasher- even more than usual. She wouldn’t open the door for herself either.
It’s finally happened, her mom was saying. Maybe not the way she meant it, but yeah… it did finally happen. The too-good-to-be-true dream has ended and Susie woke up.
None of this was ever going to last. She was stupid believe it could for even a second.
Bad kids don’t get to be the heroes.
They get left behind in the dark. They get scars that’ll scare people. They… they get suspected first when someone gets hurt.
Susie cries.
It’s not fair. But she shouldn’t have gotten hopes up that this would go any other way.
Susie sleeps restlessly in Kris’s bed and doesn’t think about how she’d probably forgive them, if they and Noelle just asked her to.
When she wakes up… the world is ending.
Susie doesn’t have time to wallow anymore. Hero or not. Bad kid or not. As long as she has the power, she’s going to keep protecting the people she cares about.
Susie calls her axe, and charges into the darkness.