Chapter Text
The crisp air of the night bit against open skin, harsh teeth that would chew and break in, leaving flesh to fester in the cold. But, throughout their years, it had become something they were able to ignore. New York was often frigid this time of year, but it could also be so beautiful. No star in the sky could be seen through the light that polluted the city, but the glow within the buildings and street lights still danced in the dark. And they never dimmed, even for a moment. Shadows had become so hard to find in the open, but for the four of them, they hid within the few they could. Tonight, though, it seemed the shadows weren’t necessary.
Mikey laid back on the catwalk of a billboard atop the roof, head sitting just barely an inch away from the edge with his knees bent. And he hummed. Nothing in particular, just leaning from song to song as he pleased. Sometimes, he would just forget the tone and start over, hoping to remember the next lyric. This happened often on the slower nights like these, when crime was low and their time on the surface was running out.
“Shut up, Mikey.” Raph finally snapped after about seven minutes, which was a new record, because of course Mikey was keeping score.
“But I’m bored!” He whined, kicking himself slowly to the ledge until his head hung over, watching Raph roll his eyes with his arms crossed, “We haven’t had any action all night and we've been sitting here for almost an hour! Can’t we just go back to the lair already?”
“No.” His three brothers spoke in unison, but from their tones, Mikey could tell they were all just as bored as he was.
“Oh, come on!” He frowned with a groan, turning himself around until he was laying on his plastron, head sitting in his right hand, while the other just hung, “I just wanna go back, eat some pizza and watch a movie…”
“You watch so much TV, your brain’s gonna rot.” Raph scoffed, leaning back against the billboard beside Mikey.
“Well, what are you gonna do then?”
“Sleep.” He didn’t even need to think about it. It was just plain and simple, his finger tapping against his bicep.
“Lame.”
Raph shoved his hand against Mikey’s face, pushing him away, “Well, excuse me for wanting to get some rest after hours of running around the whole damn city for no reason.”
Mikey snickered, sticking out his tongue to the older. His eyes wandered away, catching a glimpse of Donnie. His shoulders were hunched, dark circles building under his eyes as he blinked ever so slowly. Mikey chuckled, pointing a finger, “I know you’re probably gonna do the same, huh, Dee?”
“Huh- What?” Donnie asked, slowly registering what Mikey had said before shaking his head, “I can’t-”
“You can.” Leo cut in with a pointed look, and Donnie glared back.
“Fine. I can, but I won’t. I’ve gotta finish fixing up the shellrasier because someone thought he could drift it…” His eyes moved to Raph, arms folding when his older brother scoffed.
“Hey, I managed to do it!”
“For three seconds before you flipped it twice down the street.” Donnie sighed, fingers pinching between his eyes, “This is why I told you not to drive…” Raph could only growl at that, teeth gritted as he looked away, fists tightening.
“Well,” Mikey started, “how exactly do you expect to stay up when you’re tripping over your own feet and barely able to understand the words I’m speaking?”
“You often speak in a language you made up when you were five, so when you don’t, it catches me off guard.” He defends, “Besides, I got more of that instant coffee from April.”
“Gross…” Mikey gagged, hand finger pointing into his open mouth, making Raph’s lips twitch up into a small smile.
“I really don’t think you should be drinking coffee past midnight, Don.” Leo pointed out, a little concerned.
“Okay, first of all, it’s only 11:30, so technically not midnight.” He shrugged.
Leo shook his head, hand rubbing his face as he sighed, “It will be when we get back.”
Still, Donnie continued on, “Second, it’s really not as bad as it sounds-”
“Yes it is.” Mikey disagreed, sitting up and letting his legs dangle over the edge.
“How would you know?! You’ve never even had coffee!”
“True, but I’ve smelled it,” Mikey pointed out, “And it smells like shit.”
“It’s also extremely unhealthy…” Leo drags his fingers down his face, turning away from his brothers.
Donnie deflated with a pout, “It’s not that bad-”
“Yes it is,” Raph snapped, “It’s a mystery as to how you can be so smart and this stupid at the same time.” There was a collective agreement to the statement, followed by Mikey’s small chuckles.
“Whatever…” Donnie groaned.
Mikey smiled, looking over at Leo, waiting for him to say what his plans were. His back was still turned towards them, and he didn’t speak as his head slightly tilted. Focused, curious, almost like he was waiting for something. Mikey swung his legs, impatient as always, before he decided to pry, “Leo?” He could feel the way the air shifted, how Leo had changed, and he suddenly felt like he wasn’t actually asking for Leo’s plans. But, the others hadn’t caught it, they didn’t even look at him.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Raph scoffs, “Space hero marathon. Looks like the two of you are gonna fight over the TV again-”
Leo shushed him, hand out as he slowly turned back, “Do you hear that?” He whispered. A silence hushed over them, trying to catch what Leo had, and by the time they did, there was no time to react. Mikey was kicked away from the cat walk, skidding across the roof with the groan. When he pushed himself up slowly, he watched as Rahzar came out from the shadows, his footbots crowding in around them.
“Rude!” Mikey yelled, grabbing his nunchucks from his belt, listening to them as the chain creaked.
Rahzar didn’t speak, he only growled, giving a signal for attack and stalked over them. The footbots ran, cornering Raph and Donnie, separating Leo from the rest. And there, Mikey stood in the middle of the roof. None of them came for him, even when he swung at them. They didn’t pay him any attention. Mikey could feel the way his heart twisted, looking down the open pathway that connected him and Rahzar.
He rolled his eyes, swinging his weapon, “Here we go…”
Rahzar moved with no sound, a flash of light before he’s in front of the younger, faster than Mikey had ever seen. He barely had the time to raise his arms, blocking the claws from digging into his face. The force from the blow shoved him across the roof, his foot shaking as it neared the edge. Half of an inch away from falling, from crashing onto asphalt in the alley, splitting his skull in two. It made sweat dip his forehead, prickles popping on the back of his neck, eyes wide with shock and fear. And Rahzar was there, he was still there, pushing with such a pressure, just waiting for Mikey to go down.
“Fall already!” The saliva from his fang blew with his yells, barely missing Mikey's face.
He could feel the loose rocks from under him start to slide, he could hear them clanking against the dumpster below, and he knew he would soon be falling beside it if this kept going. His mind raced, using all the strength he could muster to keep it from happening. He dared to spare a glance at his brothers, silently begging for their help. But they couldn’t. Too busy, unaware of what was occurring. No help could be offered. He’d have to figure this out on his own.
And, yet again, it was his wandering eyes that left him distracted, granting Rahzar an opening to swing his clawed hand back. Mikey didn’t see it, but he didn’t need to. The feeling of something sharp, digging deep into flesh, ripping it open made him scream. Blood was quick to flow, dripping down his arm and into a puddle by his feet.
“Mikey!” It was Raph who called his name, he’s sure of it, but it didn’t matter.
Instinct took over, eyes a piercing white. He was swift, leg up to kick the dog away, struggling to keep himself from falling. He hissed, gripping at the wound, feeling the hot and sticky red bubble out between his fingers. He couldn’t fight like this, and his brothers didn’t have an opening to get to him. He knew Rahzar was bound to get up again, and when he does, he’ll come straight for the kill. Mikey couldn’t take another hit so close to the edge. He had one option, an option he hated, but it was all he had.
He turned quickly on his heel and leaped over to the neighboring roof. He rolled once he landed, skidding across on his thigh before jumping back up on his feet. And he kept running, knowing Rahzar wasn’t too far behind. But, if Mikey was good at anything, it was running.
“Mikey, wait!” He could hear his brother shouting for him, but he couldn’t place the voice. Maybe it was Leo, that seemed to be the most obvious option. Or maybe it was all three of them. He wasn’t sure, and it didn’t exactly matter as he raced off into the night.
~>X<~
He tried to keep himself quiet. Holding his breath as he hid behind an AC unit, making himself as small as possible. His fingers pressed tightly to the wound that had finally stopped bleeding. It stung from the sweat that dripped in from his palm, but it wasn’t too bad. It definitely wasn’t anything he hadn’t managed before. Still, his heart was speeding, pounding so hard in his chest and ringing in his ears. And, by God, he was so tired. He couldn’t say for sure just how long he had been running for. It felt like hours, maybe it was more, but it seemed more likely that it had only been around twenty minutes.
He sat so uncomfortably, his position sending needles to stick and poke at his legs, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t risk the noise. So, he waits for a sign, an out, a clearing. He prays he had lost the damn demon of a dog, that he could just sit here for a moment more before his brothers came to take him home. But his prayers hadn’t made it past the clouds to reach the heavens just yet as he heard Rahzar land so harshly against the roof.
“I know you’re here, turtle… I can smell you…”
Mikey mutters a curse under his breath, head knocking back against the unit. He bit down on his lip, trying to calm the nerves that spun so out of control. It was never so simple. But, he forced a bright smile on his face anyway, cheek bones burning as he moved his hand away from the cut. He pushed himself off the floor, climbing up until he was perched on top of the unit, “I feel like I should be honored,” He laughed, slowly standing tall, weapon tight in his hand as Rahzar turned to face him, “I’ve never had such a dedicated fan before! Well, I guess stalker is a better term… I mean, you’re just so obsessed with me!”
A low rumble echoed from the base of Rahzar’s throat, and Mikey sheepishly swallowed. He squeezes the handle of his weapon, the blade coming through the front. And the metal shined against the moonlight that peaked through the clouds. They stare, Mikey’s nerves building, bloody and alone. He clears his throat, “You know, we can always just call it a night? Pick this up tomorrow? It’s pretty late, anyway-” Rahzar jumped. Claws spread, teeth sharp and eyes set on him. “Oh, son of a-” Mikey didn’t get the chance to finish, feeling Rahzar grab at his shoulders and force him to the floor.
His head knocked painfully against the ground and he let out a hiss, grip loose as his nunchuck rolled away from him. He couldn’t move a hand to hold it—to feel the back of his head and ensure nothing cracked—before he felt a hand grip so tightly around his neck, thumb digging into the skin of his jaw. His own hand moved to Rahzar’s wrist, trying to push him away, the other slapping around the roof top in search of his discarded weapon.
He kicked, nails scratching deeply into the matted fur, tears escaping from the corners of his widened eyes. He gasped with no air willing to seep through his crushed throat. He was trapped with no way out. Rahzar was speaking to him, he knew it, the blurry movement of his mouth told him so, but he couldn’t hear a word that was said. His world was turning, and he started to accept that he was going to die like this. Although he had always known he’d be the first of his brothers to meet a fate such as this—so clumsy, too loud, always the target—, he still wasn’t ready.
His fingers brushed up against something cold. It rolled a little, something scrapping against the concrete. It was his and he needed it. He stretched his arm as far as he could, fingertips sweeping it up in his hand slowly. He smiled in a small relief as his eyes started to roll into the back of his head. He squeezed the handle, holding it firm and swung until it dug into Rahzar’s side. The dog whined, bright, red eyes practically popping out of his head. Mikey had forgotten about the blade, that he had just sharpened it, that it was out and facing the flesh of his enemy. It stuck in and ripped across the man's chest. It got caught against bone, dragging across, flesh severing in two. And when the blood splattered down across Mikey’s face, he realized what he had done.
Once that grip was gone, Mikey gasped in all the air he could, coughing and heaving. Rahzar fell away from him, rolling beside him with a whimper. A pathetic dog in pain with nothing left to do but lay back and cry. But he was more than a dog. He was Mikey’s friend, once. Maybe not a real one, but Mikey liked to pretend it was.
Rahzar wheezed and Mikey felt himself grow sick, his weapon clattering to the ground. He crawled over, hands shaking and eyes bulging, “No, no no no…” The palms of his hands pressed against the sides of his head as he stared, panic settling in, “No… Damnit, why did you-” He choked.
Rahzar swings his claw and Mikey falls forward to dodge it, his hands landing on the wound, pressing down as hard as he could. And the dog yelps, bearing his teeth as he tries to shove the younger away. He twisted his body, his movements wild, but Mikey stayed firm, “Stop moving!” He cries, “If you keep losing blood, y-you’ll die!” It didn’t take much convincing for Rahzar to cease his squirming. He slowly calmed himself, teeth grit as he stared up at the murky sky with his breath uneven.
Mikey’s lip quivers, so he bites down on it. He watches the way the dog's eyes start to droop low, growing ever so dull. His eyebrows furrow and he squeezes his fingers, making Rahzar’s eyes shoot open again. “Stay awake,” He tries to keep his voice steady, but it fails, “M-My brothers will be here soon and… th-they’ll help. But you have to stay awake.” Silence is all that follows and Mikey hates it. He hates the iron smell that has invaded his nose, the way the air grows humid with the night fog starting to roll, the way his eyes blur everything around him as they water. But, most of all, he hates how he can feel Rahzar’s heart grow weaker.
“Why…” Rahzar finally whispered, voice rougher than it usually was as blood leaked from his mouth, “Why bother helping me? I-I am you enemy, you pest. Do you know nothing of war?” Despite how weak his voice was, how it wavered against his throat, the venom within it stayed strong.
Mikey shook his head, a tear rolling from his cheek with a sting in his eye that he couldn’t itch away, “I never wanted that and you know it. You did. I-I… I just wanted a friend.” Rahzar glares with a growl, it’s low and it doesn’t hold the power it once did as Mikey feels no fear from it.
And Mikey’s shoulders shake, feeling the weight of his guilt crush over him as Rahzar’s body grows colder, “Please don’t die,” He pleads, “Ju-Just stay awake… Come on, you, uhm… you still gotta ge-get your revenge, right?” He hopes that Rahzar will laugh, will agree, will do something, but he doesn’t say a word. He just stares, blood staining all sides of him, the red running to the edge of the roof, dripping to the side walk below them. A dark red shining on black and grey fur, dipping in the ribs that poke through his skin.
A hand lands on the back of Mikey’s shell, claws gently scraping against the ridges. The sudden push makes Mikey choke on a sob, leaning his head forward as his body starts to rock. He wishes he could do something more to help, that he knew how to stop the bleeding. He mostly wishes that his brothers were here. But what would they say? What would they think? He couldn’t stand the thought, but it was all he could think of now.
“I still hate you…” The slurred phrase barely reaches Mikey’s ears, and when it does, Mikey lets out a sourful chuckle.
“And I grew to hate you too,” He breathes, “W-We agree, okay? S-So just shut up and save your strength.” Raph would often say that when he was hurt so bad. Mikey never knew when to stop talking, even when it was serious, so Raph made it a point to tell him those words. Sometimes, Mikey assumed it was because Raph just wanted the silence back, but most, he knew Raph was right.
After a moment, the hand on his back falls. It had only been a second, a small second that passed why too fast. Mikey’s head shot up, looking at Rahzar’s face. His eyes were empty, dull, completely void of any life. His chest had come to a complete stop, and all the life had been sucked away from him.
“No…” His voice broke, “No… No! Get up, Rahzar!” He screamed, shaking the body that had grown so heavy, “Chris, get up!” But there was nothing. He was gone. He was dead. Mikey had killed a man. He choked at the thought, hands over his mouth. Knees were soaked in his blood, a sticky stain he’d never be able to wash clean, even as rain drops plopped against him.
He never wanted this. Truth be told, he never wanted to fight. He never wished to cause harm to others, even if they had harmed him first. He just did what he was trained to do. And he did want to help the people of New York. His brothers believed that people who hurt others need to be hurt back. Maybe, along the way, he started to believe that too. He’s seen the worst kinds of people, he knows kind words and gestures won’t make them stop. He was proud to be a part of a good cause, found it fun for a while, but this was too far. No one deserved this, even if Rahzar had cut a wound so deep within him.
He never wanted to be the cause of someone’s suffering, but here he is, sitting alone on a roof top, crying over someone who died by his own hands. And he didn’t know who he was meant to tell of this. Did the man have a family? Or did that get taken away when the mutagen hit his skin. Maybe that’s why he had so much hatred. But Mikey can’t ask, and he’ll never know. It wasn’t fair.
The sound of feet drop down in front of him, hurrying across the roof, coming in closer. Mikey is quick to look up, his eyes meeting with his brother’s worried and horrified faces. Donnie covered his mouth with both his hands, gagging. Raph just stared, eyes wide, opening and closing his mouth, unsure of what he should say. Both of them stare at what he’s done.
But Leo can only stare at Mikey.
And Mikey sobs, tears flowing down his cheeks as he lifts his bloodied hands for them to see, “I-I didn’t mean too… H-He was… Why did he-” He cried so loudly, wailing as Leo quickly rushed over to him.
He sits beside his baby brother, holding his face and wiping the tears and blood with his thumb, “It’s okay… Everything’s gonna be okay.” Mikey could only shake his head out of Leo's grasp, blubbering out incoherent phrases as he crumbled into the leader's chest, wrapping his arms around him.
The rain started to pour, washing away what stained the roof top, but Mikey knew it had been tainted forever.