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It was supposed to be a simple scouting mission. Get information on the Separatist base, relay information to their battalion then attack said base. They’d done it hundreds of times. Today, Anakin had joined them as well since the 501st was assisting in this raid. While Obi-Wan did adore his padawan, his presence made Obi-Wan a tad nervous.
His padawan was never subtle nor stealthy which is what this scouting trip required. Despite Anakin’s protests, Obi-Wan did not let him bring any of his own troopers. Obi-Wan trusted his small reconnaissance team made up of him, Cody, Waxer, Boil, Wooley, Crys, and Tails. In case anything went wrong, the group had protocols and plans that they didn’t currently have the time to explain to another trooper.
For once, Anakin wasn’t the one that started the problem.
Their intel wasn’t up to date or had been falsified entirely. They found that out when pirates were hanging around the base, treating the place like they owned it, no Separatists or clankers in sight. Then they were spotted by a patrol. It all went downhill quickly from there. A battle followed that their small group—no matter how strong and skilled they all were— was no match for considering the sheer number of pirates that kept coming.
A joint effort from four of the pirates resulted in force-blocking handcuffs getting wrestled onto Anakin. It was incredibly impressive they managed such a feat, even if it had been nothing but luck. A blaster to Anakin’s head was enough to make the rest of them, beaten and bloodied themselves, stand down.
Now, their group was sitting in a rather large cell, each of them chained to the wall, hands bound above their heads, and Anakin and Obi-Wan in force-surpressing cuffs. Anakin was staring at Obi-Wan, a small frown on his face as he refused to look away. Obi-Wan sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Anakin, I am not going to disappear,” he said, exasperated and tired. His face was stinging due to a cut on his cheek and a busted lip while his shoulder throbbed from a particularly hard jab. The lack of Force usually surrounding him was also bringing on an uncomfortable headache as he instinctually reached out only to be met with nothing. Force suppression, no matter the form it came in, was disorienting at best. They couldn’t reach out and use the Force, and with stronger suppressors, they could no longer sense it either.
Every Force signature gone. Every bond invisible as if they had never been there at all.
Neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan could feel the bond they had with each other. Obi-Wan was more practiced in force suppression thanks to countless kidnappings. Anakin had not yet learned the joy of trusting his eyes when the Force he usually saw through was gone. Hence him not taking his eyes off his Master.
The older Jedi marveled at how pirates could get such high-quality force-suppressors. Stolen, hopefully. The other option was that the pirates were given them which was a much worse notion to swallow. He created a mental list of anyone who may have access to strong force suppressors, keeping it in his mind for when their captors evidently came to check on them.
Their captors were smarter than most of the pirates they’d met which was another concerning matter. Smart enough to know how to subdue two Jedi generals. Smart enough to make Obi-Wan’s men take off their helmets so they couldn’t use their comms. Obi-Wan imagined they were also smart enough to block any trackers their captives may have, making rescue more difficult when Ghost Company realized something was wrong after a missed check in.
Obi-Wan let his eyes run over his men. He didn’t need to see their signatures to know how frustrated and worried they all were.
Without their helmets, Obi-Wan could see the range of negative emotions his men were trying and only somewhat succeeding in hiding. All except Cody whose face was perfectly blank. His Commander was running scenarios in his head and trying to find the best one so he could start forming a plan. It did ease the men’s worries ever so slightly to see that their Commander was unafraid and strategizing on how best to protect all of them. If their Commander wasn’t scared, they shouldn’t be either. They could rely on him like always to set the tone and keep their heads above water.
The cell’s laser shield faded and a man stepped in. He was human. Lean but tall with a neutral, almost bored expression on his face. He wasn’t overtly intimidating, not at first glance, but Obi-Wan saw how quickly his eyes swept over each of them, cataloguing and noting whatever he was seeing. On the second quick inspection, his eyes stopped on Obi-Wan. He seemed to have found what he was looking for.
“Him.”
Obi-Wan had a bad feeling about this.
The man nodded his head in Obi-Wan’s direction and one of his lackeys came into the room with a tray in his hands. There were two syringes on it. Oh joy. They were planning on drugging him with an unknown substance.
Obi-Wan smiled at the boss as tendrils of fear snaked through his veins and spread to every part of him. He truly hated being drugged dare he say even more than Force-suppressants, and he was about to experience both of them at the same time. To stall, he did what he did best: talked.
“I’ve been compliant and a perfect guest thus far. Surely we could have a pleasant, productive conversation instead of drugging me.”
The boss said nothing as his lackey prepared the needles. A loud banging pulled Obi-Wan’s attention away from the boss and towards the sound. It was his padawan, of course. Sneering and baring his teeth as if he wanted nothing more than to bite their captors.
“Get away from him,” Anakin snarled, yanking at his own handcuffs aggressively and causing the harsh noise. “Don’t touch him!”
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, a soft reprimand and demand for him to calm down. He wished he could reassure his padawan through their bond. Anakin was obviously getting more irritated the longer they were in the cell and the closer they were getting to Obi-Wan.
Sweat was beaded on his forehead as he struggled. He was trying to use the Force, pulling at it so deeply and desperately when he couldn’t feel it. This would end with nothing but Anakin passing out at the rate he was going. How troublesome his padawan was. He cursed himself for thinking it so fondly.
Unlike Anakin, his Ghosts were behaving beautifully even if they were unhappy about it.
Obi-Wan’s men, per their general’s orders, were staying silent, clenching their jaws and bodies tense to keep themselves from following Anakin’s example. Ghost Company had protocols for these types of situations. Captors were much more willing to kill clones than Jedi, so they were not to draw attention to themselves and give their captors a reason to even look in their direction.
They’d watched their General tortured, beaten, and bruised in situations exactly like these. Every time one of them intervened, at least one of them didn’t come home.
“You will not speak. You will not fight nor try to protect me if we are captured. I will not have any of you laying down your lives over inconsequential things,” Obi-Wan said, his voice steeled in a way it so rarely was, even in the heat of battle. To him, his own torture was insignificant. His men disagreed.
If the situation got nasty enough, they would not be able to keep themselves in line. Any intervention would result in death so they had no fear of being court-marshalled, only breaking Obi-Wan’s heart. But they’d die for their general. If that meant dying just to get attention off him for a minute or two, just to give Obi-Wan a moment to breathe during endless torment, they would. The current situation had yet to call for such drastic reactions.
The first needle went into his neck. The second into his thigh.
Obi-Wan barely stopped himself from flinching. Whatever they had injected in him was thick and syrup-like. The lackey left the cell, leaving the laser shield down as he went. It was awfully confident and rash, in Obi-Wan’s opinion, but maybe these pirates just had a lot of faith in the handcuffs keeping their prisoners chained to the wall.
Cody must have thought the same because his eyes flicked to the door then looked down as he had been before. Obi-Wan could see the gears in his head pause, turn back, then start going again now with the open door as a factor.
The boss approached Obi-Wan, leering over him and studying Obi-Wan’s face too close for comfort.
Out of the corner of his eye, Cody’s fingers twitch. Oh, his Commander was not pleased. Not pleased at all with the lack of distance. Drugs were usually administered to make the body and mind pliant after all. Anakin, meanwhile, was practically vibrating out of his skin, pulling and panting and threatening, all of which was ignored. Obi-Wan prayed to the Force that this man had no lewd intentions. The boss caressed Obi-Wan’s cheek, a soft touch that made the hairs on the back of Obi-Wan’s neck stand up.
“Usually, I know the names of the people so bold to touch me as affectionately. I’m afraid our relationship isn’t there, dear,” Obi-Wan said as he fought to keep himself from leaning away. A few of his men sighed, utterly done with his usual antics. Or maybe they were trying to make Obi-Wan feel better and subtly let him know that he wasn’t trapped here alone.
“I need information,” the boss said as he pulled his hand away. Obi-Wan pouted. This man wouldn’t even play with him. Even the likes of Dooku and Grievous would exchange words with him and not outright ignore him. Despite that, Obi-Wan was immensely relieved by this turn of events.
“I’m not so keen to share information with people who drug me,” Obi-Wan said dryly. Strangely, he couldn’t feel any effects yet. The man’s lips twitched up, as if Obi-Wan’s words were amusing. As if he knew something Obi-Wan didn’t. His stomach sank.
“Do you have any men within 10 clicks of this base?” The man asked.
No. Was what Obi-Wan wanted to say, but when he opened his mouth, he choked. The word wouldn’t come out. Instead, he felt a nagging in his brain, an itch that was getting harder to ignore as his throat closed up.
“Yes,” Obi-Wan croaked, trying and failing to hold the word back. The silence in the room that followed was deafening. He couldn’t see his men, wouldn’t look at them and dare draw attention to them, but he could imagine their wide eyes and shocked expressions as understanding dawned on them as it dawned on Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan would never give away his men, not under the worst torture.
“Good, it’s working." The sadistic glint in the boss's eyes made Obi-Wan shiver.
“Clever,” Obi-Wan said before biting his tongue to keep himself from saying anything else. He was the Negotiator. He talked circles around his opponents. Now, he needed to keep his mouth shut for as long as he could.
“Tell me, General, have you ever thought about leaving the Jedi Order?” The man asked.
Obi-Wan’s eyebrows furrowed. What an odd question. What information could that possibly provide? Not about battle plans, size, or strategy. About him specifically and his relationship with the Jedi Order. That information wouldn’t be valuable to a pirate.
It could be valuable to the Sith though.
It clicked in his head so perfectly, it made his knees buckle. They wanted to know if he had weak points. How loyal he truly was. If he would Fall if pushed far enough.
The answer was running over and over again in his head. He didn’t want to say it. He was the perfect jedi, he had to be for his men and for Anakin. They couldn’t know the truth about him. It would cast doubt on them all, especially his padawan, who strived so hard every day to emulate the master who he thought was everything a Jedi should be.
There was a reason Obi-Wan didn’t speak about his past. There was a reason Anakin thought Obi-Wan’s world basically started when Anakin became his padawan and that was because Obi-Wan shared precious little about his past.
He kept his mouth shut, trembling from the effort.
“It will start with a light itch,” the boss said unhelpfully as if Obi-Wan wasn’t already experiencing it, “then it will get worse. Your throat will start to close up and you’ll start coughing up blood. It will become unbearable. The urge to speak will win, it always does.”
Obi-Wan glared at him. He was a Jedi. His will was strong and he trusted the Force to guide him as it always did. That being said, he was so cut off from the Force at present that it was making it much harder to ground himself and ignore what the drugs were doing to his body and mind.
“Of course, he hasn’t,” Anakin snapped. His eyes burned into the boss. The utter conviction in his words made Obi-Wan’s stomach roll. Anakin’s whole world would burn down in the next few minutes if Obi-Wan couldn’t keep it together.
“Your belief in him is admirable,” the boss said, as he smiled cruelly at Anakin. “But if it were such an easy answer, your Master would be fighting it so hard, now would he?”
Doubt comes in.
It started too quickly for Obi-Wan to control and would only grow. His men were sharing glances on the other side of the cell. Only Cody had yet to look away from him which made Obi-Wan startle and look away. Stupidly, he hadn’t been expecting eyes to be watching him so closely, especially not his Commander’s.
He hadn’t said a word yet shame burned in him. The boss turned his attention back to Obi-Wan now that Anakin had fallen silent. “You’re going to tell me the truth one way or another, might as well save yourself the pain.”
Like Sith’s hell he would. Obi-Wan wheezed, struggling to get air in as he avoided answering. Instead, he thought about how quickly the drug was deteriorating his body. It moved fast, faster than he’d expected.
“General,” Cody said. Obi-Wan dragged his eyes back to his second. Cody’s eyes were firm and determined. He could read the words on his face alone. He wanted Obi-Wan to speak. He didn’t want Obi-Wan to put himself through so much suffering for no reward except delaying the inevitable.
But his dear Cody didn’t understand the cost.
The itch consumed him, making him want to rip off his own skin and tear his throat open if not just to free it from the swelling obstructing his airway. He’d never felt anything like it before, such desperation and need to make whatever was happening to him stop. The boss was right. He couldn’t resist.
No matter how badly he wanted to.
“I've left the Order before,” Obi-Wan finally whispered roughly. Anakin visibly flinched, drawing back in confusion.
“What?”
The boss’s eyes widened, and he leaned forward with visible interest for the first time since the conversation started. “Oh? And when was that, General Kenobi?”
“I—” He sucked in a breath, trying to push away the memories the awful words held. His ears were ringing from the explosions mere feet away and shrieking of children in pain and horror. The Young had been ready for war. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize how cruel war truly was. He dipped his head, trying to block it all out. It was in the past, what he was hearing wasn’t real. Every body flashing through his mind had been dead for a long time. No one was dying, no one was suffering, it was just him and he couldn’t breathe—
“I was—I’m—13,” he managed to spit out, “I was 13.”
He didn’t dare look at Anakin or his men, couldn’t bear to see their reactions. The disappointment maybe or betrayal that they’d been following a lesser Jedi this whole time. Even worse what they thought of his disgraceful display in the face of the drug. He'd never encountered a truth-inducing drug, especially not when answering about such personal matters. The questions didn’t stop.
“Why did you leave?”
The boss asked it so simply, as if it didn’t still haunt Obi-Wan to this very day. As if he didn’t still wake up from nightmares about Melida/Daan and Qui-Gon abandoning him, a scream on his lips. As if it was a simple question with a simple answer.
Anakin adored Qui-Gon. In his eyes, the man could do no wrong. Obi-Wan had worked very hard to keep it that way. He kept the truth about his Master from Anakin. The Qui-Gon Anakin knew was like a statue erected of a war hero, larger than life and remembered only for the good and not for all the flaws that made the man who he really was. The Qui-Gon that raised Obi-Wan was not one Anakin knew.
Obi-Wan couldn’t ruin this. He couldn’t. He worked so hard.
“Stop this,” Obi-Wan somehow gritted out, barely skirting around the words that wanted to flood from his mouth. He had never begged before, it felt foreign as he toed the line between his pride and his secrets.
“No. Why’d you leave?” The boss repeated apathetically. Obi-Wan gagged then coughed. His white robes became more red as blood was hacked out of him with each exhale. The taste of iron in his mouth was as unpleasant as always.
“General Kenobi, sir, please,” one of his men, Waxer he thinks, said. His voice was pleading and Obi-Wan wanted nothing more to reassure him that everything would be fine. If he opened his mouth, he’d speak, and if he spoke he wouldn’t be able to say everything was fine because he couldn’t lie and it wasn’t fine, it wasn’t—
So he said nothing.
They all had front row seats to this pathetic show and wanted it to end. Wanted their General to stop hurting himself to protect the truth.
“My Master,” Obi-Wan gasped, sweating with the exertion of trying to hold in his words, “He made me choose. The Order or the Young. I chose the Young.”
“The Young,” the boss repeated, tapping his chin as he thought. He hummed, a knowing little lilt to his next words. “I understand now.”
Obi-Wan wished he didn’t. Wished no one but especially not this man knew about Melida/Daan. Wished the man was ignorant but the Sith wouldn’t send an idiot to gather information on a Jedi. “This isn’t your first time fighting in a war, is it?”
“No,” Obi-Wan whispered. The boss stepped closer so his lips were next to Obi-Wan’s ear.
“How many children died in your arms?” He murmured. The cell was silent, no one knowing how to react or what to do. They all heard the question no matter how low the volume. Gunshots could have been going off in the hall and none of them would have moved. They were caught on the question and dreaded the answer. Obi-Wan’s throat was swollen. Between there barely being enough room for air to get through and how raw and damaged it was, every single word was painful. It only got worse as he tried to resist answering.
“Fourty-three,” Obi-Wan said, voice trembling and weak.
“What?” One of his men said, disbelief coating the words.
“General.” Another said, sounding pained.
“Master, why…” Anakin started before trailing off.
Why didn’t he tell Anakin? Well, the next sentence his tormentor spoke summed it up nicely.
“So your Master abandoned you in the middle of a civil war when you were 13?” The boss repeated, arms crossed and face still pretty neutral but definitely interested.
“Yes.” Obi-Wan’s chest rose and fell as he slowly suffocated. He wasn’t sure what hurt worse, his body, his memories, or the shame and guilt. “And he took—”
He bit his lip hard, hard enough to practically bite through it in an attempt to keep the words in. His brain apparently needed to clarify that just abandoning him wasn’t all Qui-Gon had done. Stupid mouth. Stupid brain. Stupid drug.
“Took what?” The boss asked, voice dripping with played sympathy. “What did he take from you?”
“My lightsaber.” Every time he answered, his throat opened up ever so slightly to allow him more air, rewarding him for good behavior.
“No,” The boss said, giddy disbelief in the word and his gasp, as if hearing particularly scandalous gossip.
“He wouldn’t do that,” Anakin denied, “Master Qui-Gon wouldn’t do that.”
Even under truth serum, Anakin believed in Qui-Gon so strongly, he couldn’t accept Obi-Wan’s words. Couldn’t believe the man who freed him was anything less than kind and perfect. It hurt more than Obi-Wan thought it would. He couldn’t stop his strained, broken chuckle that came out more as a huff. Anakin’s face twisted into something between hurt, betrayal, and anger. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You idolized him. I couldn’t take that away from you. I wouldn’t. I never—” to his horror, he whined, trying to keep the words in and failing miserably. “I never wanted you to know.”
Ten years of protecting his padawan wasted because of a single question.
“But he loved you,” Anakin argued, as if he’d known Qui-Gon for years rather than a week. As if Jedi were allowed to love at all and if they were, Qui-Gon would have loved him. Obi-Wan almost laughed but that would require air Obi-Wan didn’t have right now.
It was anger that hit him first and hardest. Then incredulity followed by crushing heartbreak. He couldn’t stop the words, the truth, that rose in reply to Anakin. The perfect visage shattered.
“He hated me,” Obi-Wan finally snapped, eyes sharp on his padawan. “He hated me, Anakin. He didn’t want me. Force, he refused to take me until I—until—”
“Obi-Wan, breathe,” Cody murmured.
But he couldn’t. His chest spasmed and every breath was shorter than the last as he fell apart. He let his chin drop against his chest, squeezing his eyes shut as his vision blackened around the edges. Seems he’d reached his limit. He couldn’t help but be grateful for it. At least if another question was asked of him, he’d pass out before he could say more things he’d regret.
“I think you’ll do nicely,” the boss said, more to himself than anyone else. “Lord Tyranus will be pleased.”
He walked out of the cell without another word and the laser shield turned on behind him, thwarting any escape plans Cody may have been forming. Obi-Wan allowed himself this moment of weakness. He was so lightheaded.
“In for 3, out for 4,” Cody instructed. Obi-Wan tried to nod but wasn’t sure how successful he actually was.
“How—”
“Skywalker,” Cody barked, “Now is not the time.”
Obi-Wan slumped in relief, quickly flooding the wave of fear he’d felt when Anakin opened his mouth to ask another horrid question. As always, Cody was his wonderful savior.
Anakin fell silent. The room was quiet except for Obi-Wan’s pathetic attempts to breathe. Without the constant struggle of keeping quiet in reply to questions, the swelling in Obi-Wan’s throat went down enough for him to finally get in a proper amount of air. Cody spoke to him softly, coaching him through whatever this was whether it just be from the drug, an anxiety attack, or both. When he had finally calmed down, Anakin tried to speak again. Again, Cody cut him off, not allowing Anakin to force answers Obi-Wan didn’t want to willingly give.
It took less than a half hour for his men to arrive.
“General Kenobi! Are you alright, sir?” The one working on getting his handcuffs off asked.
“No,” Obi-Wan said. The trooper startled and another standing behind him, clearly hearing the interaction and knowing how stubborn his General was when it came to his injuries, rushed in. He was a medic, Devin, one of Helix’s most trusted because of course a medic would be here and even better luck, of course he heard Obi-Wan’s admission.
“What hurts?” Devin demanded, shining a flashlight towards his lip to assess the visible damage.
Obi-Wan just wanted it all to stop. He wanted the questions to stop, and he wanted to be alone. Hands covered his ears. Fuzzily, he realized it was his own, free now from the handcuffs. Without the supressors, the Force slammed back into him unlike the way it usually settled gently. It didn’t help how Anakin’s Force signature collided with his own as his padawan got closer. He resisted the urge to bash his aching head against the wall. Anything to to be left alone and stop the agony that was currently his head. He staggered and likely would have fallen if not for strong arms grabbing him.
“Master!”
The shout of alarm was followed by more as his men crowded him, concern crashing into him in the Force. He couldn’t even hold his own weight, and it was a miracle he was still conscious. It was horribly overwhelming and Obi-Wan could do nothing but turn his face against whatever was holding him up and let out a low whimper that likely wasn't audible to most, if any, of the men surrounding him.
“No more questions,” Cody said, voice booming and making everyone in the room shut up. “If you have any, you will direct them to me. Am I understood? I don’t want a single trooper speaking to General Kenobi until I give the all clear.”
“But sir—”
“Devin.” The name was spoken like a threat. One Cody wouldn’t hesitate to follow through on.
“Yes sir,” Devin said reluctantly. As a medic, it was in his nature to fight back when his men resisted treatment, but Devin was smart enough to realize something else was going on here. He saluted and exited the room. Then they were alone, even Anakin vacating the room after a harsh, disapproving glare from Cody.
When the two were alone, Cody helped lower Obi-Wan to the floor as the Jedi hyperventilated, made worse by his watery eyes. He refused to let any tears fall.
“My shoulder,” Obi-Wan whispered, “and my throat. My head is pounding and won’t stop. And my wrists—” Cody sat in front of him, holding Obi-Wan’s hand as he listened to the confession forced from his General. Every single hurt he had to admit due to Devin’s question no matter how small.
“And it hurts that you all know how weak I truly am,” Obi-Wan sobbed. “It hurts that I was forced to be so vulnerable and relive such awful things.”
“You’re not weak, Obi-Wan,” Cody murmured before squeezing his Jedi’s hand tightly. “I’m so sorry this happened. No one’s going to ask you any more questions while the drug is still in your system, I promise.”
Cody helped Obi-Wan stand and Obi-Wan didn’t hesitate to rest his head against Cody’s shoulder, soaking in the comfort even if it was just for a moment. Cody gave the best hugs, rare as they were. They always made Obi-Wan feel so safe and secure and he needed a little of that right now in order to face his men.
“I would like to get you back to the Negotiator,” Cody said. Obi-Wan nodded and let go of Cody, pulling himself together and putting on a brave face before walking out of the cell. Every trooper they passed made Obi-Wan fight to keep himself from covering his ears or curling into himself. But none of them spoke to him.
Some looked his way but that was the farthest they got. Either they heard of Cody’s order or they backed down from the glare on Cody’s face. The two got to their transport ship with little hassle and only when the door was closed and they were in the air did Obi-Wan allow himself to sigh in relief.
“I’m taking you to the medbay for your lip, throat, and shoulder” Cody said and before Obi-Wan could worry he continued, “I’ve already messaged Helix. He won’t ask you any questions and will let you go back to your quarters after he's done treating you.”
Obi-Wan slumped against Cody’s side as he nodded. He was too exhausted to argue, even if he would much rather avoid the medbay. His Commander took such good care of him, and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve him. Nevertheless, he was grateful.
He would have to talk to Anakin and would probably have to talk to Cody and the other Ghosts there too. He tried not to think about it. For now, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the quiet and warmth of the Force that was finally starting to calm.