Chapter Text
🏇🏒❤️CENTAURETTES🖤🏒🏇
Cassie added Jane and Lizzy
CASSIE
Centaurs WAGs meet Jane & Lizzy
Jane & Lizzy, meet the coolest ladies in Ottawa!
SELENA
Bonjour Jane and Lizzy!
CAITLIN
Jane! Lizzy!
LACEY
Hiiiiiiiii!
LIZZY
Wow, hi!
JANE
Hi, ladies!
TILLIE
Omg Lizzy!!! Girl, hi!
LIZZY
OMG!!!!
Hi!!!!
CASSIE
I take it you know each other? 😂
TILLIE
Lol, yeah!
Sorry Cassie
We have a few classes together
LIZZY
Wait, who are you with???
CASSIE
YES!
Roll call, ladies!
TILLIE
Omg, Cassie!
Hi, I’m Tillie! I’m dating Jordan Holmberg 😘
CASSIE
I’m Cassie, Zane Boodram’s wife!
SELENA
Selena! I’m Nick Chouinard’s wife
CAITLIN
Caitlin! Mrs Evan Dykstra!
I promise my taste in music is better than my husband’s 😜
LACEY
Sooooo true!
I’m Lacey! Married to Nathan Boyle!
CASSIE
We also have Lisa, but she’s busy at work
LIZZY
Nice to meet everyone!
I’m Lizzy! I’m dating Will LaPointe!
JANE
Hello!
I’m Jane. I’m dating Ilya Rozanov!
CASSIE
I can’t believe I had to get your number from Kat Carmichael
Roz does not talk about you!
JANE
We’re both really private about our relationship
We can’t be publicly together for various reasons
CAITLIN
Awwww, Jane!!!
That sucks
LACEY
Yeah 😞
CASSIE
That really sucks, Jane
Hopefully that will change soon
JANE
Hopefully!
LIZZY
Wait… I just looked up Ilya Rozanov
Jane, how did you manage to pull him!?!?!
He’s like… the most Fuck Boyest Fuck Boy To Ever Fuck Boy????
JANE
Cassie? How crass can I be?
CASSIE
Girl, we talk about sex
Lacey reads shitty erotica and tells us about so we can laugh
JANE
Just checking
To answer your question Lizzy
I am very good at sucking cock
LIZZY
🫢
GIRL!!!!
TILLIE
Lizzy 😂
RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛
MADDIE
Jaaaaannnneee
Have you been added to the Ottawa WAGs chat yet????
FÉLICITÉ
Yes!
We have to know if they’re treating you well
LUCY
Or if we need to fight!
VANESSA
OMG, Lucy!
KAT
Yes! Please let us know how Ottawa is treating you Jane!
JANE
😂
Pitchforks down ladies!
The Ottawa WAGs have been perfect… gentleladies?
FÉLICITÉ
Excellent!
As long as they treat our Jane with the respect she deserves
JANE
❤️
Any new girls this year, Kat?
KAT
A couple. I’m waiting for selfies from a couple
JANE
You didn’t send Cassie mine, right?
KAT
No, I promise I didn’t
Your secret is safe with us, girl
✨CASSIE B✨
LISA
Hey Cassie!
Is the WAGs chat open to friends of players now???
CASSIE
No….?
Why do you ask?
LISA
I think I recognise one of the numbers you added?
CASSIE
Well, I just added Jane and Lizzy
Rozanov’s girl and LaPointe’s new gf
LISA
My phone is probably being weird again…
🏇🏒❤️CENTAURETTES🖤🏒🏇
LISA
SUP BITCHES
I am off nights for the next few weeks!
SELENA
Lisa!
Come and meet the new girls!
TILLIE
Yes!
Jane and Lizzy!
You missed Jane scandalising Lizzy by saying she was good a sucking cock
LIZZY
OMG Tillie!
TILLIE
What??? It was cute
I forgot you’re like a little country mouse who’s never left…
Where the fuck are you from again???
LIZZY
Ottawa
I’m from Ottawa
TILLIE
😳
Woops
CAITLIN
It’s okay Lizzy
We’re just teasing
JANE
If it helps, Lizzy, I was way more like you before I met Ilya
LACEY
Omg, Jane. Really?
LISA
😂
I’m Lisa, Hayes’ wife
Wait…
JANE????
JANE
LISA????
Oh fuck
🩺❤️LISA❤️🩺
LISA
SHANE
MILDRED
HOLLANDER
SHANE
NOT MY NAME! 😭
LISA
Irrelevant!
Explain!
SHANE
I forgot your Wyatt was the Wyatt on the Centaurs!!! 😭
LISA
Hollander!
SHANE
Is Wyatt home?
LISA
He’s just left. Got a thing with Harris?
Why???
SHANE
Look
I have a bit of time before I have to meet my parents for lunch before I head back to Montreal
Do you still like those big stuffed croissants from that place near my parents???
LISA
Yes
Of course I do
They’re fucking amazing
SHANE
I’ll bring some over
Then we can talk
THE DECEPTICONS
LISA
EMILY
INMONTREAL
PARK
EMI
NOT MY NAME LISA!!!
LISA
HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN???
EMI
ABOUT WHAT?!?!?!
LISA
SHANE!!!!
EMI
OMG
Wait
How do YOU know?!?!?
SHANE
Wyatt is the Cens goalie
EMI
OMG
I totally forgot
SHANE
😑
YEAH
SO DID I!!!!
EMI
Wait
So how did Lisa find out???
LISA
Shane got added to the Ottawa WAGs chat
SHANE
I got added to the chat and Lisa already had my number…
LISA
So, yeah
Kind of a shock seeing my very male cousin being referred to as Jane
Seriously, though, Shane???
Jane???
SHANE
In my defence I did not come up with the codenames
EMI
This is so funny 😂
Can I tell the Boston WAGs about this???
SHANE
The codenames or Lisa figuring out my secret?
EMI
The Lisa thing
Obviously
SHANE
😑😑😑
Obviously
🏇🏒❤️CENTAURETTES🖤🏒🏇
TILLIE
Wait????
Lisa, do you know Jane?
CAITLIN
Do you think they killed each other?
SELENA
I highly doubt that
CASSIE
Lisa? Jane?
LISA
Sorry everyone!
But yes, Tillie, I know Jane
JANE
Yeah, we’re cousins
I kind of forgot her husband was a Centaur and no longer a Guardian
LACEY
Oooooh, does this mean Jane knows about Sukiyaki Gate????
JANE
😂
You told them about that???
Lis it’s so dumb!
LISA
I know!!!!
But I also had to bitch about it
LIZZY
What’s Sukiyaki Gate?
TILLIE
Oh Lizzy
You’re going to love this story
LILY
JANE
Hey baby ❤️
How was practice?
LILY
It was good
Haas is really improving
And Hazy invited me over for dinner
JANE
Awww, that’s nice of him!
Don’t tell my mom you went over there though
LILY
Why wouldn’t I tell Yuna I had delicious dinner with teammate?
JANE
So you remember how Lisa, Wyatt’s wife, is my cousin?
LILY
Yes?
Solnysko, is there tea I need to know?
JANE
Who taught you that???
Anyway
Kinda?
So you know how my mom is Japanese?
LILY
Yes.
JANE
Well, her parents came to Canada from Japan before my mom was born
She was the eldest of three girls and while their dad, my Oji-san, wanted them be super Canadian, their mom still insisted they learn how to cook Japanese food
Oba-san, my grandma, had this old book of family recipes she taught Mom and her sisters
When Oba-san died, my Aunt Hana (Lisa’s mom) got the book because it’s always been passed down through the female line and I’m a boy so 🤷
LILY
So that is the reason? Your aunt got the book and not Yuna
JANE
Not even close
Mom has copies of all the recipes she wants. She was relieved when Oba-san gave it to Aunt Hana.
The issue was after Oba-san’s funeral and we had a big family meal to remember her. Oji-san had died like a year before, so it was Mom, Aunt Hana, Aunt Mone, my Dad, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Shun, Lisa, Sean, Sebastian Emi and me
Aunt Hana made sukiyaki
LILY
Oh that’s what we had!
Very nice!
Does Yuna know how to make it?
JANE
Yeah that’s kind of the problem
Aunt Hana changed the recipe a little
I think she put miso or something different that wasn’t the usual
We do ours Kanto style
Anyway
Mom was pissed that Aunt Hana changed the recipe
It was a whole thing
Once the yelling that stopped, Aunt Hana and Mom weren’t speaking to each other
Of course Aunt Mone took Mom’s side
So Emi, Sebastian and I weren’t allowed to talk Lisa and Sean ever again
LILY
Obviously that did not last
JANE
Obviously
I mean… I haven’t spoken to Sean in ages
But that’s because he works for a funeral home and is fucking weird
And no one knows what Sebastian does with his time
LILY
Shane Hollander calling someone weird
Will wonders never cease?
JANE
Fuck you, asshole
Are you still at Wyatt’s?
Ask Lisa about her brother
LILY
I’m not asking Hazy’s wife about her brother???
How would I know about this brother???
THE DECEPTICONS
LISA
Shane
Why is Ilya Rozanov asking questions about Sean?
SHANE
Lisa
Why did you invite my boyfriend for dinner and feed him sukiyaki?
LISA
First of all, WYATT invited him
Secondly, I had a craving after Lacey brought it up
Answer the question Hollander
SHANE
I was telling Ilya about Sukiyaki Gate and I told him about Sean being weird and he didn’t believe me
I told him to ask you
LISA
Sean isn’t weird though???
EMI
Sean is super fucking weird
He’s even more socially awkward than Shane
SHANE
HEY
EMI
Am I wrong???
SHANE
😑😑😑
LISA
ANYWAY
He’s now asking about the rest of the family
I really like him, Shane
SHANE
He’s pretty great 🥰
🏇🏒❤️CENTAURETTES🖤🏒🏇
CASSIE
Quick show of hands, who’s coming tonight???
CAITLIN
The Dykstra’s are reporting for duty! ✋
SELENA
✋Nick wants to know if we should bring dessert again?
CASSIE
Omg, yes please!!!
LACEY
Selena, can you ask Nick to bring the recipe?
We’re having Nathan’s sister over and she’s notoriously hard to please 🙄
Oh! And the Boyle’s are coming!
TILLIE
Jordan, yes. Me, no 😭
I have placements!
CASSIE
I’ll send Jordan home with left-overs ❤️
TILLIE
Bless you, Cassie Boodram ❤️
And bless Zane for his AMAZING food
LIZZY
Will and I will be there!
LISA
The Hayes’ will both be present!
My brother Sean might drop by with some beer at the start of the night
He brews it himself
CASSIE
NIce!
Along with Harris’ usual cider, we’re going to be set for alcohol
Jane?
JANE
I wish!
Sadly, no. I’ll be travelling for work
Ilya will be there, though
LACEY
Boooo!
When will we finally meet you Jane???
SELENA
Please be soon???
CAITLIN
What do you even do for work???
LISA
She plays for the CWHL
JANE
LISA!
LISA
That’s why she travels a lot!
LIZZY
Omg, really????
Who do you play for Jane???
JANE
Montreal Canadiennes
LACEY
Ooooohhh
I didn’t even know there was a Canadian Women’s League!
JANE
We’re playing the Blades
TILLIE
Good luck Jane!
✨CASSIE B✨
CASSIE
Hey Lisa
LISA
Yes, Cassie?
CASSIE
You do know there’s no such player on the Canadiennes as Jane Toriyama/Hollander/Park, right?
LISA
Yes
But there is a Jane
I did check
CASSIE
…
Lisa, what’s going on?
LISA
I can’t say
Jane asked me to keep her secret
All you need to know is Roz and Jane are crazy about each other
CASSIE
Okay
I trust you