Chapter Text
Swish. One pair of blinds closed, then another. Within a minute, Berdly had closed off the entire apartment to the outside world. The only light remaining to illuminate his way was the warm glow of his several computer monitors: just the way he liked it.
As usual for Monday, his mother had left for the week, leaving him alone to his own bidding. Unusually, this Monday marked the start of summer break. He was finally free from the suffocating chains of education, no longer forced to linger behind with those of markedly lesser learning profiles. His first course of action, obviously, was to shut himself inside for several days and catch up on a backlog of unplayed video games and anime. It was very productive, he assured himself.
With all the studying that he and Noelle had done for finals, he hadn't had time in nearly a month to consume the newest releases. He hadn't played the newest Super Smashing Fighers DLC character, nor tried out the first release in years of the critically acclaimed Harvest Sun series. He hadn't even started the new season of Two Piece! It almost brought a tear to his eye. At the time, he hated missing out on the absolute cinema that he knew they'd be; now he was grateful that he could experience them for the first time.
He retrieved his most pristine gaming controller, lightly brushing off the accumulated dust with his wings. His mother had always warned him not to use them that way, but he knew what he was doing. He delicately connected the cord, watching it light up and vibrate as a subtle ding indicated it had paired correctly to his PC. Now he just had to wait for Harvest Sun 12: Grim Harvest to finish downloading from Spleen before he could finally lose himself in the fantasy world of his dreams.
While he waited, he absentmindedly opened Chatter, his social media of choice. Most of his friends didn't use it, preferring the short-form video slop of other platforms, but he knew it was the best. Where else could you share the most delicious memes and hilariously ironic jokes while also discussing your favorite media franchises? With just a few clicks, he had already found several posts to save to his bookmarks for later group chat sharing.
Approximately an hour and a half had passed. The game had already finished downloading within just a few minutes, but Berdly had been so engrossed in scrolling that he hadn't noticed. Only one thing caught his attention.
PING.
Berdly shot up out of his poor posture into slightly better posture, and his eyes darted to the edge of the screen. He had actually received a DM request! Despite his thousands upon thousands of posts and reposts, he had never so much as received a like on his account, much less a follower, and much, much less a real DMer. It was the moment of his dreams... finally, someone might have appreciated one of his sardonic joke replies.
Of course, he knew better than to be truly excited. The site was rife with spambots, and the chance of it being anything more than an automated intelligence hawking products was infinitesimal. Still, he couldn't bear waiting; adrenaline running through his wings, he clicked to open his DM list. The only new request was from an account with no icon and a generic-looking username. Of course. He had sat straight up for nothing... a life of slouching was all he deserved.
He moved to silently delete the request before hesitating for just a single moment. Maybe, just maybe, it was real. It wouldn't hurt to read their opening message and check.
persevering-hominid-1216
Hello! This is Berdly, right? I'm a long-time fan of yours! I was hoping I could ask you a few questions, if it isn't a bother.
Berdly's bottom beak dropped. Who on Earth could this be? Some sort of secret admirer, someone who had never made themselves known to him before. It couldn't just be someone from online; his name isn't anywhere on his profile. Or maybe it was, and they found it somehow. That was a little creepy, but... heck, he'd take even creepy attention at this point. The idea of someone being so interested in him as to message this way was nigh unimaginable, even despite his dashing good looks and beautifully written posts.
It was almost too good to be true. Maybe the spambots had only grown more advanced in the last few weeks. After all, AI news was all over the Internet. It was probably some sort of MoonNet type scenario, like from the The Finisher movie series. He would have to perform some inquisitive questioning to ascertain the truth.
berdlythegreat
hail and well met, my friend!
im surprised youve figured out my secret online identity
may i ask what gave it away?
He worried that it had been too long since the message request -- almost seven entire minutes of deliberation -- and that his fan might've already left by the time he had responded. Luckily, they began typing back almost immediately.
persevering-hominid-1216
Well, when you search your name online, this is the first result!
Also, I messaged a few accounts, and you're the only one that responded.
Blast! Berdly knew he needed to work on his OPSEC, but this was a disaster. He hastily opened another tab and searched his name; sure enough, his account was exactly as obvious as described. He had no idea how to even fix it, and frankly, he wasn't sure how much it even mattered, so he decided to ignore it for the moment.
berdlythegreat
ah, you are a wise investigator indeed!
but ill warn you: im usually quite sly to these tricks
i only let my guard down to give you a false sense of hope
persevering-hominid-1216
Oh. Well, I didn't mean to trick you. I can leave you alone if you feel deceived.
Berdly's eyes shot out of his skull. In all his gloating, he had accidentally turned a potential ally into a sworn enemy. He needed to ameliorate the issue at once before an archenemy could be created. He would need to craft the most tightly worded, strongestly dictioned response that a bird could muster.
berdlythegreat
no!!!!!!
It was very, very clever. No ensouled individual could ignore such a deep and emotional plea of understanding. No doubt his foe would acquiesce immediately.
persevering-hominid-1216
Oh, alright! :)
So, I have some things I always wanted to ask about you!
If that's alright.
berdlythegreat
of course. go right on ahead...
but i reserve the right to ignore any unusual or potentially security violating questions
thats my third amendment right
persevering-hominid-1216
Certainly! :)
I'd be disappointed if you didn't invoke your rights, hah.
He put his feathers up to his beak. The messenger seemed to be lulling him into a false sense of comfort, and yet, he wanted nothing more than to indulge them. Maybe they would get away with all his deepest, darkest secrets... but at least they were thinking of him while they did it. Besides, it would be more Internet safety practice.
berdlythegreat
hit me with your best shot, kind stranger
persevering-hominid-1216
Yay!
Oh, I'm so excited.
I've been waiting so many months to talk to you.
berdlythegreat
well, im a tricky prey to pin down
what threw you off my scent?
persevering-hominid-1216
Well, like I said, it wasn't so hard to find you.
I just didn't have access to a computer.
How curious. He almost wanted to close the window, finding their statement unbelievable. Anyone who appreciated Berdly's style most assuredly was an active computer user, and it made him afraid of the worst outcome: that his new friend was a dastardly mobile device addict. Oh, sweet heavens, he couldn't take the stress. He had to find out the truth.
berdlythegreat
a user of your proclivity, living without a computer?
that sounds like a debuff i wouldnt wish on my deadliest enemy
perchance your device broke? its motherboard shattered by ill luck?
persevering-hominid-1216
Oh, it's a funny story, but I probably shouldn't share.
Best I could explain is that I was quite poor until recently, and very sheltered.
Don't worry, I'm very knowledgeable about the world.
But I still want to learn a lot more! :)
Berdly felt awful; if what they said was true, he had projected ill-intent onto someone in unfortunate circumstances. He almost wished to have been able to help them, perhaps to lead them to the nearest computer cafe. A life without Internet access was not a life that anyone deserved to live. Oh, now he was really feeling for this poor soul. He owed them an answer to any question, no matter how mysterious they acted.
berdlythegreat
dont worry yourself, young one
you can be my padawan
i can introduce you to the world at large, and guide your travels
ask away my friend
persevering-hominid-1216
Oh, good... I was hoping you would say that.
Here's my first question.
I've been told that you are a world-famous genious.
How did you get to be so smart?
Gulp. Berdly was highly flattered that this random user knew him as a "genious," but he had no idea how they would know that, nor why they would even believe it to be true. None of his friends seemed to believe it, despite seeing his prowess in class. Besides, he had learned not to place quite as much stock in his academic performance as he used to, so the whole idea made him slightly uncomfortable. Worst of all, he truly had no idea how he'd gotten so smart, and certainly didn't know how to explain it.
berdlythegreat
i like to keep my secrets close to my chest
but you had such a moving story that i feel compelled to tell you at least a little of my technique
persevering-hominid-1216
Great! :)
berdlythegreat
first rule: ALWAYS be thinking
you dont ever want to spend any amount of time without thinking
thats why social media is bad for you
persevering-hominid-1216
Got it.
So why do you use it?
He recoiled in shock. It was unbelievable that his bluff could be called so easily, but he should've expected it. All those hours browsing Chatter were sure to come back to bite him eventually, and how there was egg on his face. He hastily improvised a clever response, smiling to himself.
berdlythegreat
oh, you see. do as i say, not as i do
rather than lead by example, i lead my enemies into a trap as they try to immitate my movements
meanwhile, i keep my mind honed through constant video game playage
persevering-hominid-1216
Oh, so you play a lot of video games?
berdlythegreat
why of course! no true thinker is without his entertainment, and video games are a perfect simulation of the mental battlefield
that's the second rule: ALWAYS be playing
play games, or play with your foes MINDS
its called mind games, and you can learn it from games like Super Smashing Fighters
persevering-hominid-1216
I've never heard of that game! What's it like?
Berdly chuckled. His new friend knew so much, yet so little at the same time. How had they never encountered one of the best-selling video games of all time, perhaps the best selling fighting game? Well, maybe it's not quite a fighting game, but he had engaged in enough fights about that online to brush over that question.
berdlythegreat
why, only the best designed, most artistically valuable, most fun and engaging and deep fighting game of perhaps all time!
and, of course, i am exceptionally skilled at it. so skilled that i regularly beat all of my friends in battle
persevering-hominid-1216
Hah! That sounds like a good time.
Is it fun to win at games?
berdlythegreat
why yes it is! its very fun indeed
when you best your opponent and watch as they sink in their chair in defeat
when they cower in fear and awe of your gaming might
when they beg for sweet gaming mercy at the blade of your controller!
oh, it is so, so appetizing
persevering-hominid-1216
That also sounds... fun!
You must be busy, playing games and winning all the time. Seems nice.
berdlythegreat
oh, yes, very busy
i was actually just about to play a game with my friends
persevering-hominid-1216
Which game? Are you playing Super Smashing Fighters?
Berdly looked nervously at his Spleen library. The actual game he hoped to play was clearly single-player, but he didn't want to lie about it, nor did he want to admit that he didn't actually have many friends to play games with. He definitely didn't want to admit that no one wanted to play Super Smashing Fighers with him anymore because of how he acted when he won. That part could do without comment.
berdlythegreat
well im afraid i must decline to answer that question
consider it another one of my secrets ;)
perhaps we could play a game together some day
then there would be no more need for secrecy
He smiled, having come up with such a wise and daring plan to acquire another gaming friend; they were quite rare these days. His smile dropped when seconds turned to minutes without his DM partner so much as starting to type. Had he offended them in some manner? He didn't feel as if he'd failed a charisma check, but it was possible. He began to type out a premature, yet tasteful apology right when the response finally arrived.
persevering-hominid-1216
I actually can't really play games either.
Let's say that I have a bit of a disability, in a manner of speaking.
But I could always watch!
Just imagining such a poor soul made Berdly's heart swoon. First he learned that they didn't have a computer, and now he knew that they couldn't even feel the gentle touch of a controller. They had been relegated to a life of pure larp, destined to do nothing but backseat game for eternity. He wanted to make it his life's goal to rectify their issue, but he knew it would be hard to make it much more than a sidequest.
berdlythegreat
i couldnt imagine being in such a situation!
to appreciate games as you do and yet remain disconnected from them
oh, let the heavens strike down the fate you have fallen into
persevering-hominid-1216
It's really not such a big deal...
berdlythegreat
but it is!
let me help you in any way i can
i can be your knight in effervescent, +2 armor
persevering-hominid-1216
Well... maybe you can tell me more about Super Smashing Fighters?
Like, what exactly makes a video game good?
It wasn't what he originally had in mind, but he could definitely do that. He was a bit confused about someone with such minimal knowledge in games messaging him of all people, but he had been preparing for game proselytization his whole life.
Sunlight peeked through the window, reflecting off Berdly's rightmost monitor. He lazily pushed it to the side, deflecting some of the glare, and only barely registered that the morning was fast approaching. He still hadn't so much as launched his new games, but it was alright. He'd spent hours and hours talking about his favorite games with his newfound friend, and he wouldn't have had it any other way.
persevering-hominid-1216
So they added tripping to the game all about skill?
That's ridiculous!
berdlythegreat
exactly!!!!
it was a clear attempt by the executives to remove us true gamers from the community...
persevering-hominid-1216
I hate that sort of thing.
No one really appreciates intellect anymore.
berdlythegreat
you really get me, strange traveller
speaking of which, youve gotten your fair share of secrets from me
would you be willing to do an interview now?
He had them right where he wanted them. After hours of working at their defenses, they were now... defenseless. Or at least they had fewer defenses. They would surely crack open like an egg in a skillet, revealing the juicy secrets of yolk. Berdly decided to stop thinking about metaphors and focus on his questioning.
persevering-hominid-1216
Of course! Ask away.
berdlythegreat
lets say one were to recreate your visage in a character creator
what settings might they choose?
persevering-hominid-1216
Hmm... I probably shouldn't say, should I? ;)
But I'll indulge you a little...
I'm about as tall as you, and I have bright purple hair.
I wear thick glasses, and though I'm loathe to admit it, I have some freckles.
I'm partial to ascots, and prefer long sleeves and formal pants.
Does that help?
berdlythegreat
yes yes yes thats all very useful information
muahahaha
persevering-hominid-1216
I hope you don't use it for any evil plans, like putting me one of your games. :)
Do you have anything else to ask me?
The next question was highly important. His digits were unusually sweaty, and he didn't know why. Maybe he was worried that his investigative attempts might fail, proving his failure as a agent of espionage. Still, there's a reason that gamers get extra lives: they were meant to use them.
berdlythegreat
you mentioned 'seeing' me a few times
do you live in Hometown too?
you could come to our epic gamer club!
persevering-hominid-1216
I live in Hometown, to an extent.
I actually live... right by the flower store.
Berdly held down the feathers on his arms, lest they fly off in excitement.
berdlythegreat
you do?? i didnt even know there were houses over there
you must be very secretive!
persevering-hominid-1216
Yes, I... am homeschooled.
And, uh, my parents don't let me go out.
berdlythegreat
yes, yes, they must value the ninja's creed: ALWAYS be secretive
persevering-hominid-1216
Sometimes I wish I could go out, though.
I want to see the world, the trees, the lake.
I wish I could go to school like you.
And I wish I could... see you, too.
He clutched at his eyes and covered the blushing on his face, even though no one could see. See him? It made sense -- as a fellow video game appreciator, they surely wanted to duel with Berdly on the digital battlefield. Even still, he couldn't imagine being among one's first experiences out in the world. That was a level of importance higher than his experience points could reach.
berdlythegreat
perhaps we could hatch a plan!
yes, i could help you sneak out and observe the world, like in a classic coming of age story
just say the word and ill sweep you off your feet!
His pride in his words lasted for roughly a minute before he realized that the other side had ceased their typing. Save for the one instance before, they had never taken this long to respond. Berdly's worry only grew as time stretched on, and as thirty minutes elapsed, he considered it clear that his friend would not respond, at least for now.
He sat back in his chair, sad and alone. The fan had blown open the blinds, and he didn't bother to move even as the morning light landed directly on his eyes. Despite the rays of sun, the path forward in his life felt no more illuminated. He wanted to cry out in song for his departed friend, but all he could do was wait and hope that one day they might contact him again. Maybe they might even run into each other in town, but he doubted it; if it were that easy, they would've talked to him in person already.
With no more communication to be had, Berdly dejectedly opened his new game on Spleen, no longer filled with excitement about what it could hold. By the time it loaded the title screen, he had already fallen asleep in his chair, one feathered wing hanging over the armrest.