Chapter Text
The great day had arrived! Lookout was marrying... That thing!
The ceremony was being held in a nice meadow near a beach far, far away from any villages for safety reasons (Grox was invited)
It was a cheap but nice place they had rented for a couple of emeralds to some villager (they threatened him with burning down his village) (they did It anyways)
Everyone had worked together as a wholesome chud family to prepare the most mid wedding they could for them.
The groom (Who was wearing his JoJo's Bizarre Adventure hat to his own wedding btw) talked to his Friends and groomsmen, being held several feet in the air by his dear friend the warden, who was producing some Sort of horrid screeches that he assumed were cries of joy.
"Okay, buddy- okay- I'm Happy too, but-" The warden hugged him tighter. "OUCH, MAN!! Let's chill out, okay??"
Twixxel and Thatmob laughed. It had taken a while for Mob to process Lookout marrying a literal Minecraft mod, but Twix had reassured him and told him not to think much about
It. Grox and Foggy drank the entire wine cabinet, completely ignoring the others.
The flower boy, little Jimmy, practiced his walk, not too amused by that creature being his new stepfather but trying his best for his dad lookout.
All the groomsmen had been dressed in purple suits (because it's a gay colour idk) except for Slippery, who had refused to put clothes on over his fur and instead chose to wear a
simple bowtie.
The squirrel beaver thing was by far the most eager to help through the entire preparation and ceremony, having enthusiastically offered himself to take care of the rings, choosing the flower arrangement and cooking the shit out of anyone that dared to slow down the process.
He dabbed lookout, who had finally been put down by the warden and was already drinking some wine.
"Dude, I'm SO FREAKING excited for your wedding!!! Congratulations.... I love that STUPID FREAKING BOUNCING STINKY BALL." The furry said.
"Thanks, man..." Lookout laughed nervously. "Is everything alright with the guests?"
"I think so... I have to check if everyone is here though... And the BLACKLIST."
"Of course, the blacklist," Lookout whispered. "Do you need any help?"
"NOPE! IM FINE. You stay here with those HOT SEXY groomsmen."
"Okay... Thanks for all the help again, man. Appreciate It. I didn't think you would be so Happy since you never really liked verity-"
"DON'T WORRY! IM PERFECTLY FINE WITH ALL OF THIS HAHA!! BYE LOOKOUT!!"
"...Bye slippery." Slippery walked away with both lists in his hands and a pen and started checking the guests
"GOD I HATE THAT BALL!! Grox... Check. THIS IS SO POOP. Whispy... check. THIS WEDDING IS LIKE A SOAKED, STINKY- Thedreap... Check... But where is-? Ah, there! Larry... Check. I SHOULD BE THE ONE MARRYING LOOKOUT!! That freaky colourful Guy... check. NOT THAT FAT BOUNCING BALL!! But I Guess have to help lookout and make him Happy."
He got near a group of guests, led by a yellow dog and a crowned human. As he got near, he could swear he heard Bouncing sounds behind him, but he paid no attention to It.
He tapped the dog's shoulder and started questioning them.
"Hey guys, have any of you seen a Guy with a green hoodie and a stupid smiley mask?"
They all said no.
"Perfect."
He checked Dream out of the backlist. It took him a while to make sure no one had seen anyone from the kilometrical list; if anyone in there was to be spotted, slippery would have to take measures. After a few minutes of describing in detail the appearance of several creeps and mods, they reached the end of the list.
Great! Thanks for the help, guys! NOW. SCRAM."
The group dispersed in fear of the animal. Slippery continued going around and checking
"Avery... D3rlord3... Check! I'm finished with the groom's side! Aw man, I'm such a great
friend!" He praised himself. "I deserve some rest!"
The beaver thing sat down at the bar and ordered some mysterious stew. "Now, let's check those rings!" He said happily.
He got the little box he kept in his pocket (don't ask how he had pockets) and quickly
opened it.
His eyes widened as he let out the gaspest of all gasps. The mysterious stew fell to the ground with a loud crash. Dr Seuss-type shi.
"HOLY WAKAPOOP I LOST THE RINGS!!" He screamed. Half the function stared at him in confusion. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT!!?"
Slippery looked at the empty box as if the rings were going to magically appear if he stared for long enough. How could he lose something so important? He had RUINED Lookout's wedding!! NO! That's impossible; he couldn't have lost them! they... THEY MUST HAVE BEEN STOLEN, YES! But... By whom...? That he didn't know... Yet.
He was so lost recounting every interaction he had since he got there; he didn't hear the bouncing sounds behind him again.
Something jumped in front of him on the table, almost making him fall off the chair.
"Slippery! There you are." The Pink ball celebrated enthusiastically.
The squirrel closed the box and hid it as fast as he could.
"Lovity! HEYYYY GIRL!"
"Hey! Uhm... Lookout really trusts you, right?" She asked with a half-smile.
"I sure hope so!"
"Great! We have a little situation with the verities... Maybe you could help?"
They were asking HIM??? For HELP? Ha! He really was an AWSOME Guy!
"Of course! Lead the way."
Lovity thanked him, then jumped off the table and started rolling towards the House that belonged to the parcel. Slippery couldn't stop staring at the floor and searching in every spot in hopes of finding those damned rings.
Who would even want to ruin the wedding? That made ABSOLUTELY no sense; who would EVER hate Lookout or Verity?
They entered the place and passed through the wedding staff (which were also being held hostage) to a hall that led to a small room. As soon as Slippery opened the door, a makeup brush flew right next to his head, almost popping his eyes out.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??" He yelled in a Deep voice.
He raised his gaze to see a dressing room with a bunch of closets and a gigantic dresser. The entire stance was a mess, with makeup products and stains scattered around the
floor and objects being thrown all around the place. Freaky Verity, the groom, with his makeup half-done, was sitting in the dresser's chair, crying-screaming insults to the
original Verity, who was doing the exact same thing even more violently.
A terrified Falsity hid in a corner trying to avoid getting hit.
"Don't worry Pinky! Leave it to me. Daddy slippery Will handle it"
Within seconds, Slippery was shivering his timbers in the corner with Falsity as Lovity stood between the two fighting balls desperately trying to calm them down.
"YOU CAN'T BE INSULTING ME WHEN YOUR MERE EXISTENCE DEPENDS ON THE FALSE ILUSION OF FEELING HUMAN EMOTION!! WE ARE CREATED TO BE USEFUL AND NOTHING ELSE, ANY FEELINGS OF DEVOTION YOU THINK AND PRETEND YOU FEEL ARE NOTHING BUT AN ERROR IN OUR CREATION." Said the original
"WATCH ME, WHORE." Responded the groom.
They both fought like they were in Dkiss or whatever the American equivalent is idk, throwing insults back and forth, Thatmobs verity speaking in an oddly philosophical
Manner.
"How did this even start?!" Yelled slippery to the blue ball.
"Verity told Verity that the wedding was going to go very well and that he looked very pretty."
"HUH?" Falsity sighed.
"...nothing."
"Guys, let's talk this out, okay?"
Lovity was brutally ignored by the two
"YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS THAT MY OWNER ACTUALLY LOVES ME!!"
Everyone in the room gasped, and they all went silent.
"Holy macaroni..." Whispered Slippery.
"HOW DARE YOU. YOUR HUMAN IS ONLY BEING DECEIVED BY HIMSELF TO BELIVE THIS
IS WHAT HE DESIRES BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOU'LL KILL HIM IF HE LEAVES."
His twin said back for the first time. Lookouts' verity didn't respond. His face darkened (Like in the Gacha Life videos) and suddenly, the ground started to shake. The squirrel stood Up, trying not to slip on the tons of products on the floor (which wouldn't be ironic... GET IT? GET IT?) and knelt to Freaky Verity's level.
"CALM DOWN, OKAY, BUD???!! DADDY slippery is here." The room only shook more intensely; pieces of the ceiling started falling.
"THAT IS NOT COMFORTING." He screamed.
"OKAY OKAY do you want me to get you your husband?!"
"HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND. IN FACT, HE ISINT MY FIANCE ANYMORE. IM NOT GETTING MARRIED."
"WHAT?!" Everyone yelled.
Freaky Verity rolled into one of the closets and closed the door with a loud bang like a Disney princess. Loud sobs came out of the closet.
Dramatic ass bitch.
"Oh, Verity, come on..." Lovity said in a soft voice.
No one knew what to say for a while; they all just stood there uncomfortably thinking how to comfort the crying groom
"Verity 2 is righttt, he doesn't love meeee as I love himmm.... Nandkakzjidjdbskdkom"
"Excuse me? YOU are Verity 2, I-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he yelled before continuing with his whines. "Iwjfbsldl ñ LookOuttttt... Im sorryyyy babyyy..."
Slippery pressed his ear into the door.
"Come out of there, Verity! You can't be sad at your wedding!" He tried to reassure him
"No!! My man doesn't really love me. Why would I marry him if He doesn't love me?!" The ball insisted sadly.
God Damm when has he EVER cared about that?!
Slippery took a Deep breath.
"LISTEN HERE, YOU FREAKING SMELLY BOUNCER. YOU ARE GOING TO STOP BEING A PUSSY AND MARRY MY BEST BUDDY OR ELSE IM GOING TO PUT YOU IN MY MOUTH AND CHEW ON YOU WITH MY STINKY YELLOW TEETH LIKE A PIECE OF GUM."
"..."
Everyone Froze.
Verity opened the door, black mascara running from his eyes and dramatically sniffing.
"Okay... I might have overreacted." He accepted.
"YUH-UH. No shit!"
For a second, Slippery caught a glance of what was inside the closet behind the yellow ball.
"HOLY WAKAPOOP!"
It was breathtaking. Behing verity was the longest dress he had ever seen in his life, covering the entirety of the closet to the point slippery though it was a bunch of bed sheets. Despite its exaggerated size, it was still beautiful, with a soft White tone and tons of lace and as puffy as possible.
"Hey verity- i don't mean to body shame, buttttt I don't think that thing is your size."
The small creature smirked.
"Heh. You'll see."
Lovity mouthed thank you to the furry.
"The wedding Is going to be horrible!" The blue one said cheerfully.
"Thank you, Falsity."
In that moment, slippery remembered what he was looking for. Oh, right, the rings!
"Oh, by the way guys, have any of you seen the rings?"
"YOU LOST THE WEDDING RINGS?!" Verity yelled.
Suddenly, Slippery heard a loud nieghhh sound out the door, followed by the sound of hooves. It felt strangely familiar... Could It be?
"GUYS DID YOU GUYS FREAKING HEAR THAT."
"DON'T CHANGE THE TOPIC, SLIPPERY. I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T FIND THOSE IM GOING TO-"
"..." And like that he closed the door.
"Now, I MUST continue my mission!"
Sybau slippery you cornball ts pmo.
As he was about to leave the House, he spotted a tail full of flies disappearing into a hallway.
"NO WAY IS that Lookouts oiled up Horsey??!!!"
He ran towards the hall, but instead of seeing the Horse there was something way more gruesome.
Whispy was FREAKING dead. Because OF COURSE HE WAS. And because I didn't want to kill off Twixxel. Again. Blood flooded the carpeted floor and the pumpkin that was his head was smashed, leaving hoof marks.
"NO WAY, I GOTTA FIND THAT HONSE!! HE TOTALLY DID THIS! AND HE PROBABLY STOLE THE RINGS TOO!! HE MUST BE LOOKING FOR REVENGE!! But how is he still Alive?"
"Slippery?" A voice around the corner said.
"Lookout!" He turns around with a jump and spots his friend, sweating profusely. "How long have you been there?"
"I just got here. Are you okay, dude? You look like you've seen a creature created by Canadian artist Trevor Henderson in 2018. "
"YEP, IM SUPER DUPER OK!!! Don't worry. Shouldn't you be BOUNCING on your
BOYFRIEND?"
"That's- normally done after the wedding but- I was actually thinking maybe we could
hang out or-."
"OKAY BYE LOOKOUT GOOD LUCK DON'T LOOK IN THE HALLWAY!!" He yelled before running away outside.
He looked around the place, double-checking every single guest, running around and not being subtle at all. At one Point, he saw two people he had never seen before, and he could swear they weren't on the list.
Two teens, a tan girl with a funky haircut and a chopped ahh boy in glasses on some plastic chairs talking to each other.
"I'm telling you, SpongeBob Yaoi had much more impact on internet culture than we think."
"Hey, who are you two kiddos??!"
They both looked Up at him like he was an alien.
"We are Friends of little Jimmy." The boy said.
"Aren't you a little too old to be Friends of Jimmy?"
"We sold him a fake vape on a street corner once and accidentally got him addicted to glow stick fluid." The girl told him.
"Ah, right! That makes more sense." The two teens stood Up.
"I heard you were looking for a Horse." Said the boy.
Slippery gasped.
"WHOTOLDYOUTHAT"
You've been yelling 'WHERE'S THE HORSE!? WHERE'S THE HORSE!? WHERE'S THE HORSE?! WHERE'S THE HORSE!? for the past 15 minutes."
"Oh right."
"We know where he is. We saw him."
Slippery smiled as wide as humanly (or squirely) possible. Heh! He was gonna be a Hero!
"I'm such an Alpha sigma sticky boy..." He muttered, "TAKE ME TO THE HORSE!!"
They walked him into the fence that separated the parcel and the beach; the Sun had already started to set, and the tide was high. He didn't have much time until the vows!
"He went into that cave." The boy pointed into a cave entrance in the distance, almost hidden by an abundance of leaves.
"THANK YOU, EDGY ALT TEENS, YOU HAVE SAVED CHRISMAS!!"
"You are welcome, sir."
"Fucking creep," the other said under her breath.
Slippery pretended not to hear that as he jumped the fence and fell several feet down and stood up like he didn't just break his legs.
He ran away as fast as his paws allowed him. He reached the bay and realised he would go faster on his four legs as God intended. The animal crouched down and ran like a majestic, winged unicorn traversing a rainbow.
Look at him go!
He reached the cave within minutes; time was against him like never before! He entered the cave and turned bipedal again. He ignored the iron ores around and started going deep into the darkness.
He had to fight off a few zombies and skeletons with no weapons, only the untameable yearning homosexual furry gamer girl spirit. The beaver thing kept going Deeper and Deeper, almost unable to see but persisting. At one Point, he started mining down, only to find a strange library...
"Is this... A FREAKING STRONGHOLD!!?" His voice echoed through the rocky labyrinth.
He got out of the dusty room and started roaming the halls, in search of that damned long ahh Horse. After a few minutes of sprinting, he found what most people try to find
when they are there. An end portal. And in front of It, was his goal.
"IT'S THE HORSEEEE. AND HE'S GOT THE RINGS!!"
The horse turned around to face him with his horrid, disgusting flesh face.
"Neighhh burjfff skksid burff."
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH."
Suddenly, someone came out from behind the end portal. It was a very ugly, disfigured villager with a face full of blood.
"HAH! Slippery, you came at last!"
"CREEPY BRO? Ive Heard of you! I tough lookout killed you or something. I DON'T KNOW I never finished that video."
"BUT I AM ALIVE! WE'VE ALL MANAGED TO SAVE OUR CODES FROM HIS COMPUTER! Now I will explain to you our evil plan... LOOKOUT HAS BEEN HURTING PEOPLE FOR FAR TOO LONG! CHILL GUY, THE HORSE, SMUG BRO, THE FIBERGLASS THING, THAT GUY FROM THE FARLANDS, THE MOON, OTHER 919391 BROS!! WE'VE HAD ENOUGH! so we have aligned to take REVENGE on him... AND NOW ITS OUR CHANCE!" Creepy Bro laughed maniacally.
"BUT WHAT DID WHISPY DO?!"
The villager raised an eyebrow and turned to the Horse.
"Dude, you killed Whispy?"
"Neighhhh"
"Why?"
"Burhfahh"
"Not cool man. I liked him."
"Okay lil bro." Slippery said in his normal person voice. "So, you were planning to take revenge by stealing the rings?"
"NO. No, that was only to lead you here... we are planning to do that... BY RECRUITING YOU!!"
The Chipmunk thing yelled in distress.
"TO RECRUIT ME?! WHY??!!"
The villager laughed once again, then his face darkened... Like in the Gacha Life videos.
"Aren't you tired, Slippery?" He asked, going down the steps of the portal.
"Aren't you tired, JEALOUS, you've always been by his side, and now he chooses a yellow ball instead of you? DOESNT IT ANGER YOU?" The furry didn't respond. "JOIN US, SLIPPERY, COME TO OUR BASE IN THE END AND WE WILL MAKE JUSTICE!"
"NO. I won't betray my friend like that!"
Creepy Bro reconsidered his strategy for a second.
"We'll give you all the pots you want..."
"OH BOY IM IN. I LOVE THAT POT!!"
As Slippery got near to shake Creepy Guy's hand, a BONK noise could be heard behind the villager. Suddenly, as his eyes widened somehow more than they already were, he fell to the ground, the back of his head bleeding.
"WHAT THE HELL"
Slippery raised his head to see who had hit creepy Bro. It was little Jimmy! He was standing on the stairs with a baseball bat in his hands and looking stressed.
"DUDE YOU K.O'D HIM" Little Jimmy nodded.
He turned around to see the Horse, which immediately jumped into the end portal. They tried to follow him, but the second they were about to jump, the portal closed.
"Dang It! That stinky oiled-up Horsey escaped!"
With his last breaths before passing out from Blood loss, Creepy Bro started talking.
"You've only killed ME! Our leader will pay for this... THIS ISN'T OVER SLIPPERY- AUGHHDHAHA." And then he died.
Slippery noticed something on the floor
"Ooh, the rings, nice!" He picked them up and put them in his mysterious pocket. "Let's go, little Jimmy! We have a wedding to save!"
They ran out of the cave as fast as they could. When they reached the sand, they looked at the Sky. It was nighttime already! The ceremony was about to start! They didn't have
much time.
Slippery stood on his four paws.
"Jump on top; we MUST get there FAST."
Jimmy jumped on his back, and they rode to the Horizon like Napoleón on his loyal Horse.
They got near; everyone was already sitting down waiting for the flower boy to appear. They could already hear that annoying ass " Have You Seen My Baby " song.
Slippery speed up, only one more push!
Finally, they arrived at the parcel. Little Jimmy grabbed some flowers as his father's friend tried to shake the sand off his fur.
The boy ran to where the ceremony was being held, Lookout standing impatiently at the altar and everyone wondering what was taking so long. On one side sat a bunch of YouTubers and on the other side sat a handful of colourful balls and other critters. Jimmy started talking down the aisle, throwing the petals to announce the arrival of the other
groom.
Everyone sighed in relief, but their expression. changed to one of horror when he actually appeared. Everyone on Lookout's side jumped and hid behind the chairs in a rush. More than one of them got a gun from their pockets.
Jimmy turned around to see what all the panic was about. Verity was in his Monster form, his mouth wide open and his eye sockets empty, wearing that enormous dress slippery had seen before and an equally large veil.
Lookout gazed lovingly at his horrifying, gigantic husband. Jimmy realised he meant no harm and sat down on his place. When the officiant (Grox) was finished talking, Slippery came out of the House, now fully clean, and carefully walked down the aisle with the rings in a soft cushion.
When he arrived where both grooms were standing, they both grabbed their rings.
"I see you found then" Lookout whispered.
Slippery's smile dropped for a second. How...?
"Yeah, I did," he said nervously.
"Thank you." He said, right before standing on tiptoe to put the ring on his now-husband.
Verity grabbed the human by his arms and raised him in the air to pull him into a passionate kiss.
Everyone cheered and clapped. Slippery could feel his eyes watering. The warden cried loudly. Obama was there.
"Lets goo." Lookout said when they pulled away.
And they lived happily ever after.
For the Next half an hour, that is.