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Hetalia's Group Chat of Absolute Doom

Summary:

I think the title is self-explanatory? Anyway so uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, it's the countries having a corny ass group chat on Instagram (God this app sucks). The guys have Reddit humor too... that's pure hell oh my God.

Chapter 1: The Roaring Twenties [for memes]

Summary:

Alfred creates the group chat and yeah
Translation in the end notes <3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_) added Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒, gilbert♱, 耀王 and 22 others to the conversation
A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_) changed the chat name to "Faggot center"
gilbert♱ (@prussianmetalhead69) changed their nickname to "sexiest german man"

sexiest german man (@prussianmetalhead69):

A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_): istg gilbert don't fucking start with the commie memes bro

耀王 (@wangyaoooooooooo): Reacted 😌 to @prussianmetalhead69's message

ivan (@br___ivansky30): Reacted 😌 to @prussianmetalhead69's message

A☆⚾🥇: y'all needa get a room 

sexiest german man (@prussianmetalhead69): i would get a room with you mein liebling 

A☆⚾🥇: what the fuck
A☆⚾🥇: HELL YEAH DUDE

vlad🦇 (@romanianedgelord):

A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_): omg you fuckass redditors 🤒🤒

🇩🇪🇩🇪 (@bratwurstundliebe): Replied to (@prussianmetalhead69)'s attachment: 🤦🏼‍♂️
🇩🇪🇩🇪: I am not starting a debate on this again...

sexiest german man: you're not fun 😔

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒 (@williams0701): hey there :)

A☆⚾🥇: hey matt fuck you😂🤣

sexiest german man (@prussianmetalhead69) reacted ❤️ (@unlimitedfreedoom_)'s message

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: i didn't even say shit

vino🇮🇹 (@lovevino): not matthew saying slurs now 😂😂🤣

A☆⚾🥇: i warned u guys about him being gay.. 

Multiple users reacted ❤️ to (@unlimitedfreedoom_)'s message

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: are you out of ur fucking mind

A☆⚾🥇: some1 get him his antidepressants oml..

vino🇮🇹: oh shit

Carlos🇨🇺 (@carlolololos): The bullying is crazy🤣🤣😭

vlad🦇:


FELICIANO🇮🇹🍝 (@spaghettiamante1703):


🇩🇪🇩🇪: Mein Gott...

dimitrov (@yoy0gurt): Wtf

vlad🦇: wassup georgi

dimitrov: What is this gc even about?

vlad🦇:


sexiest german man:


vino🇮🇹: your country doesnt even exist anymore💀

Toris (mynamestorishi): Replied to dimitrov (@yoy0gurt)'s message: I have no idea...

sexiest german man: Replied to vino🇮🇹 (@lovevino): FUCK YOU DUMMKOPF

francis bonnefoy (@bonnefoy.francis): fuck me instead 😫
francis bonnefoy: baise-moi 😫

A☆⚾🥇: WOAH

francis bonnefoy: oh mon dieu i'm getting so hard right now

Antoniooo🍅 (@.tomatoboy_123): 🥵🥵

bella♡ (@_nattyarlovskaya): oh ew

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: wait girls are in the group chat too?

Liz 💐 (@lizzylizzylizzy8): Why not?

A☆⚾🥇: dw he's just gay

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: I never said I'm gay stop

A☆⚾🥇: Replied to Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒 (@williams0701): he's lying bro
A☆⚾🥇: i deadass heard him moan a dude's name once
A☆⚾🥇: while he was jerkin off

Liz 💐 (@lizzylizzylizzy8): HUH

vlad🦇: AYOO


Arthur (@avgbritishgentleman): How interesting...

(Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒(@williams0701) left the chat)

vino🇮🇹: yo i think he left

A☆⚾🥇: idgaf
A☆⚾🥇: what a loser 🤣🤣

FELICIANO🇮🇹🍝: Replied to A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_)'s message: WHO WAS IT 🤯🤯🤯
FELICIANO🇮🇹🍝: WHAT WAS THE NAME

francis bonnefoy: i'm dying to know

🎹🎻🎼 (@.beetlethoven): That's just gross.

Multiple users reacted ❤️ to (@.beetlethoven)'s message

Arthur: Apologize to your brother
Arthur: Poor dude


Alfred went in his bedroom, seeing Matthew with an angry look on the bed, smoking cigarettes as usual. He had an awful of drugging himself after any tiny inconvenience.

"C'mon man! It was just a joke dude." Alfred complained about his brother's lack of humor.

Matthew didn't answer instantly. Instead, he threw his cigarette on the night drawer and got up, firmly grabbing Alfred's shoulders as he shouted right in front of his face. "Go fuck yourself." His mouth smelled like drugs, which quickly made Alfred push him away. "Dude your breath is horrible!" He laughed as he pointed at Matthew. "Not only you're a homosexual, but you're also a stoner! Really man?" Tears were dripping on his cheeks from all the playfulness of the scene. The Canadian flipped him off as he kicked Alfred and smacked the room door, startling the American dude.

"Hey! that's my bedroom too!" He chuckled.

Matthew sat back on the bed. Alfred could hear him from across the door take his computer from the desk, probably to watch some hockey videos or shitty Canadian shows. 

"I hope you're not touching yourself in there!" He giggled as he sprinted downstairs, avoiding his twin brother's reaction. "I'm sorry!"


A☆⚾🥇: i'm back dudes
A☆⚾🥇: i apologized i think

Liz 💐: You think?

vlad🦇:

vlad🦇: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: He didn't btw
Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: Fuck you Alfred

A☆⚾🥇: hey matt what happened to smoking

🎹🎻🎼: Stop bothering him.

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: Kys

A☆⚾🥇: Aight damn 😭

sexiest german man: Replied to (@romanianedgelord)'s attachment: what about me 😢

vlad🦇: you don't exist haha 🤣🤣

sexiest german man (@prussianmetalhead69) reacted 😢 (@romanianedgelord)'s message

Feliks🇵🇱♡𓃗 (@feliks_is_cool): y'all are so unfunny 😴😂

vlad🦇:


🎹🎻🎼: Replied to (@feliks_is_cool)'s message: Immature I'd say.

sexiest german man: stop texting with uppercases

🎹🎻🎼: Why so? It is way more proper and respectful.

sexiest german man:


A☆⚾🥇: holy fuck
A☆⚾🥇: this image ireduced my lifespan by ten years

Arthur: Thank God

A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_) reacted 😡 (@avgbritishgentleman)'s message

sexiest german man: you americans and capitalism 😒😒

ivan: 😰😰😱😱

vlad🦇: guys can we make a gc on discord because instagram kinda sucks

A☆⚾🥇: FUCK NO BRO

vlad🦇: then i'm gonna make one for europeans only 😂🤑

A☆⚾🥇: whatever dude

#1 computer nerd (@geekiestestonian):


#1 computer nerd: i'm the quietest :D

A☆⚾🥇: and i'm the loudest

#1 computer nerd: this is about europe though D:

sexiest german man: Replied to (@unlimitedfreedoom_)'s message: especially in bed 😉

A☆⚾🥇 (@unlimitedfreedoom_) reacted ❤️ (@prussianmetalhead69)'s message

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: WHAT THE FUCKK

Carlos🇨🇺: Matthew we all know you like Gilbert 😂😂

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: No?
Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: They're getting horny in a group chat with over twenty people... 😐

Feliks🇵🇱♡𓃗: sounds like jealousy to me 😂😂

Matt🇨🇦🐻‍❄️🏒: Y'know what I'm just gonna go

A☆⚾🥇: HELL YEAH DUDE

vlad🦇:


🎹🎻🎼: I think that I'm going to go too.

Notes:

Romania and his Reddit humor... I love him.
I can't wait for the next chapter oh my God... I hope this is not out of character because I loathe out of characters stories

Translation:
DUMMKOPF: DUMBASS
(German)
baise-moi: fuck me (ayooo)
(French)
bratwurstundliebe: bratwurst and love (German)