Chapter Text
Colt wakes up choking.
There's a thing down his throat, and it needs to not be there ASAP. His arms are stuck at his sides, he can't grab the thing himself. His watery eyes are blind in the bright white light shining from above.
Is this it? Is he dying?!
He gags and heaves, flat on his back. Finally something dark crosses the light—hopefully an EMT and not an angel—and the sensation of something sliding out of his lungs. The grip on his arms releases.
Eugh.
Once his airway's clear, he throws himself over the side of the weird-ass pod bed he's in and pukes on the floor.
That was not fun.
He looks up to see a robot arm retract into the extremely high ceiling, a bunch of horribly long tubes disappearing with it. Was that a ventilator? Is this some kind of hospital?
Last time he woke up in a hospital was…
"Good morning, Test Subject. We at Petrova Science hope that you have enjoyed your stay in the Relaxation Vault. In order to properly assess your mental acuity, please answer the following mathematical question: what is two plus two?"
The fuck?
It's a robot voice, probably a recording. Why is it asking him math questions for babies? Where the hell is he?
"Please answer the following mathematical question: what is two plus two?"it repeats.
He coughs a bit more, then clears his throat. "Uh… four?"
"Correct. Subject has demonstrated basic mathematical cognitive abilities. Please provide your answer for the following logical puzzle; A runaway trolley is threatening to kill five people tied to the tracks. You have the power to divert the trolley to a different set of tracks by pulling a lever. The only problem is that on the other track, there is one person tied to the tracks. What is your course of action?"
It is way too early for this. His shaky arms push him up until he's sitting on his butt, away from the puddle.
"Uh, can I get a coffee first?"
"In order to minimize influence on results, stimulants are not available to test subjects. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Jerk.
"Please provide your answer to the logical puzzle."
"Where the hell am I?" This isn't some kind of super method-acting set, is it? Or a hidden camera show?
"As previously stated, you are currently in a Petrova Science Relaxation Vault. Decreased logical abilities have been noted. Please refrain from using profane language."
Petrova Science. That sounds super familiar. Definitely a real thing.
He stands on shaky legs and starts his stretching. He's really tight. Like, months out of action tight. He woke up with a tube down his throat—how long was he out?
"Can I get the date?"
"That information is unavailable. Are you ready to begin testing?"
Oh. Well, that's probably not a great sign. Maybe that's part of this thing? Being a Test Subject would probably involve there being, y'know, some kind of test. He hasn't studied for anything, or if he has, he doesn't remember. Just like he doesn't remember signing up.
"Uh, not just yet?"
"Response noted. The Subject will be allowed five minutes to become ready for testing."
He glances around the weird glass room. There's the futuristic bed-thing he woke up in. The medical equipment went up into the ceiling—probably for the better, that shit's given him the willies since his hospital-stay. There's a toilet, but no sink. Ew. There's a little table that's just as 70's Mod round as everything else in the room. And on top of that is a radio and an empty coffee mug. How cruel can these people get?
There's a timer above the door, counting down from five minutes. The door itself is a really weird texture, smooth white paneling with no handle. Maybe it slides out of the way? That'd be cool.
Outside the glass walls—no privacy if he wanted to use the toilet, cool—are even more white panel walls. What is it with this place and being almost colorless? If this was a movie, Jody would absolutely go on one of her sweet rants about the desaturation of modern cinema in the name of "realism" instead of it being, y'know, art. God forbid someone wants to be engaged in a film, right? The nerve. Instead it's a color palette of white, gray, white again, and a few red LED strips to make it "sci-fi". Real innovative, guys. Maybe he can lodge a complaint to Ryland-
Ryland.
"Oh fuck!"
"Please refrain from using profane language," the robot repeats.
What is he, twelve?!
"Yeah, yeah, hey- before we start, do you have anything about, like, current employees? I'm kind of looking for someone-"
"Information pertaining to employees of Petrova Science is above the security clearance of a Test Subject. We apologize for the inconvenience."
"Do you apologize? Do you really?"
"We apologize for the inconvenience. Are you ready to begin testing?"
He's about to answer when something moves in the shadows outside. It doesn't look human. It's too small, with a bunch of skittery spider legs. He can't see it very well before it crawls up a fucking wall and into a vent.
"What the fuck was that?!" he says instead.
"Please refrain from using profane language. Now activating Test Subject Profanity Filter for future use. Are you ready to begin testing?"
"Wait, I really want to know what that thing outside was-"
A loud buzzer cuts him off as the timer ticks down to zero. A door-sized hole outlined with glowing red appears on the panel where a door apparently isn't. There definitely weren't any seams there, and he didn't see anything slide open.
Time for testing, at least until he can figure out what the hell is going on. He steps through the hole and looks back to see a flash of yellow, and then a blank wall. Like it was never even there.
Above the giant real door in front of him, there's a camera with an unblinking yellow light.
This place is fucking weird.