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Today was not his day, as per usual.
Seamus let out a huff as he stared up at his ceiling, surrounded by chess pieces from an earlier game with Ron (he had destroyed Seamus, but Seamus wasn't going to admit that), clothing he hadn't bothered to put away from the morning, and old Quidditch magazines in which his favorite Irish players posed with their brooms and bats. All of this junk had accumulated between classes when he had spare time. Every Gryffindor in their year knew about his habit of leaving messes in his wake.
Sitting up, he peered at the mirror he set up across from his bed. His mother had lectured him on getting one, something about yer always lookin' a mess, do you even have a mirror? Truth was, he did attempt to tidy himself up in the morning and throughout the day, but the day usually ended with a bang, literally.
Looking at his reflection, he wondered if this was why girls hardly approached him. His hair was a tad disheveled and there was a smudge of soot on his cheek, that of which he promptly wiped away. He smoothed his hair before smiling at his appearance. Seamus saw something else in the mirror that made his eyes soften. In the bed next to him slept a relaxed Dean, whose eyelids twitched occasionally and dark brown hair was styled perfectly.
Oh, Dean. Where could Seamus even start with him? The tall, good-natured, stunning Gryffindor boy that Seamus had become best friends with from the beginning of their first year. He knew many things about Dean: that he loved to paint and was often hired by his fellow classmates to draw all sorts of banners; his fondness for Sugar Quills, Chocolate Frogs, and how he found so many Dumbledore cards to the point where he started a collection; and most of all, that Dean treasured him as a friend just as much as he did.
His heart suddenly pounded with sheer adoration. Or, at least, that's what Seamus liked to call it. He couldn't be caught admitting that his hands became clammy and his face filled with glowing warmth every time he saw his best friend. He couldn't be caught admitting that in between drafting letters to his parents and jotting lazy notes for Charms, he was writing passionate diary entries about Dean. He also tried sketching him in Dean's art style (needless to say, it went horribly). Yet the one thing that Seamus didn't even want to admit to himself was that he was hopelessly in love with his best friend.
Even then, Seamus didn't believe that Dean could ever like him back. After all, he'd seen him snogging Ginny Weasley in the corner of the Gryffindor common room during a party. He'd left the room in a hurry after the sight. He convinced himself that Dean and him just weren't meant to be, and labeled his affection as one-sided and temporary. It had been 'temporary' since third year.
Seamus scooted closer to the edge of his bed. From his spot he could hear Dean's quiet, rhythmic breathing and the sheets crinkling whenever he turned. The idea of quiet afternoons spent in his dorm room with his best friend and snow sparkling down through the window sent shining light through his mind. It didn't help that Dean's sleeping face was so beautiful. He couldn't help but stare. It could heal him forever.
"Seamus?"
Seamus jolted, awakening from his blissed-out stupor to find Dean perched on his forearm, looking at him. The corner of his lip quirked up as he watched Seamus scramble backward, throwing some magazines off his bed in the process.
"Yeah, hey Dean," he smiled sheepishly. "Sleep well?"
Dean nodded, stretching and yawning. Seamus watched how his back curved, like a felines'.
"You been awake for some time?" Dean asked groggily, his gaze falling to the disarray that was Seamus's bed. "Reading? I didn't know you liked to read. I could lend you my Loony Nonby copy if you wanted—"
"No, it's okay, lad. I was just, y'know, thinking about things."
"'Bout what?"
Seamus could sense his gaze piercing him, almost through him. He couldn't tell Dean that what was on his mind was how gorgeous he looked, his body bathed in a slice of light, shadows of snow drifting across his face.
"Just family stuff. Me mam sent me a letter I was thinking about."
Dean tilted his head, giving him one of his classic smiles, the kind that charmed girls wherever he went. The kind that made Seamus feel both envious and hot inside.
"What, was she yelling at you?"
"Uh, can't tell ya." Seamus's storytelling skills failed him then.
Dean stared at him for a moment longer.
"You seem kind of troubled, mate." Dean finally remarked. He suddenly reached out to touch Seamus's hand after a moment of thought, and Seamus jerked slightly at the unexpected contact. Dean's hand lingered before pulling away. "Right, do you still want to go to Hogsmeade for a bit? To clear your mind."
Seamus remembered that it indeed was a Hogsmeade weekend, and his parents had signed the permission slip after Dean urged him. He had planned to go, but later felt like staying in the comfort of the dorm room, gazing out at the white. Now that Dean was inviting him, he suddenly wanted to again.
"Mum says studying more would do me good but… that doesn't sound like a horrible idea." Another thing Seamus loved about Dean was how attentive he was. He always recognized when Seamus wasn't feeling like himself, and made efforts to change that.
Dean stood up and walked over before falling down on Seamus's bed, a hand coming up to ruffle Seamus's freshly smoothed hair. Seamus chuckled, both at Dean's action and at the warmth of his palm, letting him pat his head.
"Seamus, you're a bloody talented wizard, I'm sure you can get away with one afternoon of fun," Dean shrugged. "Plus, would you rather listen to your mum or me, your best friend?"
"Well, that's a tough decision ain't it—"
He playfully smacked Seamus on the back of the head. "You were supposed to say me, you muppet!"
Seamus retaliated by wrestling him and pinning him down on the blanket. He thought back to their first year when they first became friends. As 11-year-old boys, they would constantly horseplay and fool around. Glancing down, Seamus paused for a heartbeat.
Dean's long lashes fluttered as he stared up at him with deep brown eyes. If Seamus could, he wouldn't mind falling into those eyes forever. He also took in his cheeks, chiseled jawline, and lips that vaguely reminded him of the sweetest roses in spring. Seamus made a mental note to give him a special bouquet when the season rolled around. To commemorate their friendship, of course.
Seamus blushed, his face flooding with heat as he looked to the side. When he peeked back at Dean, the other boy was looking in the opposite direction, his lip threatening to turn upward into a smile. What's up with him?
Dean paused, laughing a bit. "Alright, Seamus, off," he chuckled, pushing the boy aside before sitting up and climbing off the bed. "I know I'm irresistible, but if we want to go, then we'd best do that now. Hope Filch isn't being a git today." He joked, taking his robe and coat from a rack near his bed and gesturing for Seamus to do the same.
Seamus couldn't help but agree to everything he just said.
The air was crisp and whipped tightly around the two like Invisibility Cloaks. In the distance, the twinkling lights of Hogsmeade sat nestled between cottages covered in fresh snow, illuminating the town with a soft amber glow. Snow fell in heavy sheets, dusting their heads and coats, and turning them into human pastries (Seamus was just hungry, and kept dreamily imagining that the snow was powdered sugar). He stuck closely to Dean's side, hoping to avoid getting lost in the cold haze. Both of their faces were now bright red, and Seamus tugged his red scarf up, reaching over to do the same for Dean.
Dean looked down at Seamus. "Cold? Just a bit longer now." The short walk had felt like an eternity due to the frigid temperatures.
Seamus nodded, his chattering teeth stopping him from responding. He knew they should've cast Incendio to keep warm before they left, but in their hurry to arrive before the sunset, they had forgotten. He cursed past Seamus and his clumsy methodology, for his and Dean's sake. Dean wasn't shivering, which he was confused about, but Seamus still couldn't stand the simple thought of his friend being cold.
It seemed like Dean couldn't either. He slid a warm arm around Seamus, pulling him against his body. Seamus shivered and buried the side of his face into Dean's chest as they walked. Seamus thought he could get used to it.
Hogsmeade was bustling with students shopping, couples walking hand in hand, and townsfolk enjoying the snow. The tiles of the town were fluffy with soft snow. Lavender Brown, who was with Parvati Patil, waved at Seamus before catching a snowflake on her tongue. Parvati gave Dean a knowing smile, looking back at Lavender. The lanterns lit the surrounding buildings in a warm, orange glow, and the two boys paused on the side of the street to catch their breath. Seamus's eyes dulled a little when Dean withdrew his arm.
The girls, their noses red with the biting cold and their beanies pulled low over their hair, linked arms. Parvati called out to them.
"Don't get lost in the snow, you two!"
"Or in each other!" Lavender giggled before winking at Seamus.
He blinked, his mouth falling open. "Wha—we're just walking! I don't appreciate the insinuation!" He cast a sideward glance at Dean, who hadn't retaliated. Am I really that obvious?! It's all over for me. Seamus breathed through his nose, trying to calm his hammering heart.
"Ignore them, they're just teasing." Dean murmured after a few beats of silence.
"Yeah. So. Where d'ya want to go? I'm down for whatever." Seamus asked him hesitantly. Dean warmed his hands with his breath despite wearing mittens.
"Honeydukes seems mighty nice right now," he answered. He glanced over at the shop, where students were mulling about near the entrance and tasting their candy. "Could go for some Chocoballs. Ooh, or I could stock up on Sugar Quills."
Seamus admitted he was hungry too (the thought he had been harboring since they left for the village), and the pair made their way over, trying to brush off what happened. They pushed past some familiar faces, like Angelina and Fred, before entering the shop. A gush of toasty air greeted them and permeated their freezing bones, prompting Dean to sigh in relief.
The store was bathed in a cozy, mandarin glow. Students with scarves of all colors browsed through the containers of different confections, while others simply stood and chatted, perhaps sheltering from the cold. An sweet aroma wafted through the shop, making Seamus, admittedly, a bit nauseous. Dean marveled at the plentiful options as if he had never been before grabbing Seamus's hand and dragging him over to the first selection he saw. His hands, still warm from his own breath, spread heat to Seamus's, whose face was equally as hot as his fingers. He saw that Dean's face was pink, probably from light reflecting off the signs; it reminded him of Pink Coconut Ice.
"Look it! Exploding Bonbons for fifty percent off? That's a good deal if I do say so myself." Seamus pointed at a label enthusiastically, glancing back at Dean for approval.
"Mate, last time something exploded in your vicinity, Snape took 10 points from Gryffindor. I wouldn't if I were you."
"I know wimps like yourself are scared of Snape, but I thought that was a brilliant day."
"The only other people who'd agree with you are the twins." Dean rolled his eyes, then moved to look at other candies, surveying Acid Pops (again, not a good idea), Yogurt Covered Raisins, and Cauldron Cakes before settling on treacle fudge and waving Seamus over. "Come, fancy this? Help decide what else to get too."
"You like treacle fudge?" Seamus had never seen him eat it before.
"I like all sorts of sweets." Dean replied absentmindedly, still scouting for other candies. "Chocolates, gummies, jellybeans…give me the whole lot."
"What are your favorites? You know, besides frogs and quills." Seamus played with his fingers, hoping Dean didn't catch on to his prying.
"And what's it to you, sir?"
Great.
"Just asking. Can't a bloke be curious?" Truthfully, Seamus was more than curious.
"Well, I also enjoy Chocolate Cauldrons, I suppose. What's your pick?"
Seamus paused. He loved so many Honeydukes treats that it was difficult to answer. Plus, Dean's stare on him and his little half-smile made his brain short-circuit.
"I, uhm…I think I would go for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, of course. Right then, if you're ready to pay, you can go ahead and do that. I'll, uh, have another look."
Dean raised an eyebrow. "Thought we were paying together? We should spend all the time we have with each other." Seamus gulped. Why is he so insistent on Gryffindor brotherhood all of a sudden?
"Uhh—just looking around more, is all. I don't want to be keeping you, so…you head on out." Seamus prayed it would work as a cover-up.
"Alright. I'll decide on where to have a drink, then. You sure you feelin' good? Not sick? I'll carry your arse to the hospital wing if I need to."
"No, no, I'm fine." Dean nodded one last time before turning around and heading to the till. He glanced at Seamus over his shoulder, to which Seamus gave a thumbs up and a cheeky smile.
Seamus turned toward another wall of treats, sighing. He'd almost made a fool of himself. Then again, Dean was his best friend. It most likely didn't matter much to him. It mattered plenty to Seamus, though.
This wasn't the first time he had embarrassed himself in front of someone he fancied. In third year, he'd tried to put on a spectacle for Lavender by conjuring bright red fireworks like Fred and George, but he ended up blasting one of his eyebrows off. They never became a couple, and had remained friends, even going on to attend the Yule Ball together; however, she made sure to remind him of it whenever they talked. Despite his supposed crush on Lavender, the thoughts of Dean never went away.
While Dean was gone, Seamus picked up a box of his friend's three favorite treats. Wherever they went next, he wanted to gift the sweets to Dean for being his best friend. It was a simple excuse. Yet when he bought the boxes and shoved them into his coat pocket, which was surprisingly deep enough, the sight of Dean looking at him through the window made him stumble a bit. Once outside, he choked even further when he realized where Dean was leading him.
"Your choice of tea shop is…" Seamus stuttered as he followed Dean into Madam Puddifoot's.
"What's wrong?" Dean smiled. He pulled out a chair at a table by the window where they could gaze out at the snowfall and the motions of people walking through the streets. The hum of couples flirting, clattering of porcelain, and classical music floated through the room. It was cramped and too hot for Seamus's liking, who could already feel his face heating up.
Both of them sat down, and Dean slid Seamus a menu before perusing his. There were different types of tea, specialty drinks, and pastries to choose from, but Seamus's mind raced through scenarios of 101 ways he could make a fool of himself instead of focusing on the options. It was only when Dean spoke that Seamus snapped out of his thoughts.
"I think I'll have the Earl Gray and a custard tart. What about you, Seamus?"
Seamus was forced to pick quickly. "The… chamomile tea and chocolate cake."
At that moment, Madam Puddifoot came over to take their orders. "Welcome, gentlemen! Aren't you two the cutest pair," she gushed. "What would you like today? I recommend the Couples' Special for first dates to get the love in the air."
Seamus blushed at her words, the tip of his ears red. Did she seriously just say that? Dean chimed in first, telling her his order before looking at the other boy. After both of their orders were taken, Madam Puddifoot hurried away, or hobbled away, as the space was so cramped that the tables were almost touching and they could hear the sweet nothings other couples were whispering to each other.
"You didn't even deny what she said!" Seamus hissed, leaning across the table.
"Oh, sorry, what'd she say?"
Seamus sighed. "Forget it." Typical Dean and his calm demeanor. He didn't want to complicate things further, although he was sure at least some of it was just in his head.
"How do you like this place?" Dean propped his head on his hand, staring right into Seamus's eyes.
"I think it's alright." He lied. It wasn't a total lie; although he disliked the frills, bows, and overall romantic vibe, having Dean there with him made it better. His heart felt tight, as if it were going to explode.
"Just alright?" Dean smiled. "Next time you can choose. I thought you would like it though, 'cause it's cute like you are." He drifted off, observing the snowflakes twirling across the windowpane.
"What?" Seamus blubbered.
Just as he was about to speak again, Madam Puddifoot returned with their orders on a tray, their plates lined with lace. "Here you are, boys! If you need anything, please let me know." She whisked away and was gone as quickly as she came.
He couldn't deny that his mouth began watering as he looked at his food. The chamomile tea was a deep honey shade, coming with a fresh chamomile flower floating in it. His cake had a sweet and rich aroma, its brown edges perfectly crispy with a moist inside. As he took another bite, he sensed Dean's eyes on him.
Seamus looked up. Indeed, Dean was staring at him. His own order was untouched. He reached over to wipe a smear of frosting off the corner of Seamus's mouth before licking his own finger, all while keeping his eyes on the boy across from him. Seamus started sweating.
His heart couldn't stop pounding, its beats growing harder and heavier with every passing second. His whole face was burning, and he could feel it spreading through the rest of his body like waves of pure gold. With sweaty and shaking hands, he reached for another sip of tea. His eyes were almost watering with the sheer absurdity of it all. It felt like they were the only ones in the room.
Dean, who looked all too prepared and about to speak, Seamus realized that he only had two choices: either die of embarrassment and nervousness and panic, or just say what he had been keeping from his best friend for years. Before he could even filter what he was going to say, it burst from his lips.
"Dean, I like you."
Dean froze, his dark brown eyes widening.
It came out shakier than he expected, but the pure shock on Dean's face pushed him to keep talking. "M-more than a mate, really. I…I liked you for a grand while, and I know this is out of nowhere. Sorry that I didn't say it sooner." Seamus trembled, tears threatening to spill from the sheer emotion coursing through him. His entire being was internally on fire, while sparks danced behind his eyes. "I just thought… I was just scared you'd never feel the same, and that you'd hate me for my feelings."
Dean's mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. He moved to touch Seamus's hand, an attempt at comforting him.
"Remember when we went to the Quidditch World Cup together, and you grabbed me when Ireland won? You leaned close and said something like bloody hell mate we've done it. It, uh, made me really nervous…I had already liked you for a full year then." He fought them, but tears were spilling down his flushed cheeks, and he looked down at where their hands were clasped together, his bottom lip quivering. He wasn't used to crying.
"Seamus…" Dean whispered.
He looked at Dean, whose face and those kind eyes reminded him of their years of friendship, years that he couldn't imagine having to leave behind.
"Please don't hate me, Dean. Seriously, I'll move into the Great Lake if this ruins things. I don't want to lose you." Seamus tried to joke, but it came out more awkward than anything.
Dean gave him a soft smile. "Seamus, have you not noticed what I've been doing all these years? I couldn't ever hate you. I like you too."
Seamus blanked. "What…what are you talking about? I thought you liked Ginny!"
"I'm not just saying this so you don't go drown yourself in the lake. You're kind of clueless, mate." Dean laughed incredulously, taking both of Seamus's hands into his. "I've been flirting with you the whole time and you didn't notice? Besides, the kissing was just a one-off."
He squeezed Seamus's hands. Seamus instantly retracted them, clutching them against his chest. It seemed as if he had regained his usual energy, just with tears. "I didn't! You're only telling me this now? Dean, I swear, you know I'm not very good with these things." He paused before rambling. "I'm not too much of a mess for you? I know my bed is messy and I'm not the most well-kept but—"
Dean cut in. "No. You're never too much for me." He waited for Seamus to smile before continuing. "I think your clumsiness is cute, actually. And about my failed flirting… how much do you think you missed, then?"
"I…a lot?"
"For one," Dean said, a slow, fond smile spreading across his face, "the main reason I invited you on this little date—as I'm going to call it—was because I wanted to muster up my courage and confess to you."
"…Like a true Gryffindor. Good work mate."
"Not the time, Seamus. Well, your jokes are one thing I love about you, so keep 'em coming. Anyways, I've seriously been trying to drop hints this whole day. Use that noggin of yours and think."
Seamus mouth opened and closed. Then, he chewed his inner cheek. Suddenly, the whole day's worth of events came rushing back into his mind. When he looked flustered when I fell on top of him? When he pulled me closer during the walk to Hogsmeade? Something about spending more time together? His idea to bring us to Madam Puddifoot's of all places, and not even correcting her when she called us a couple?
"Was your face pink in Honeydukes, or was that just my imagination?"
Dean gaped at him. "You actually brushed that off? I thought I was done for then and there! I couldn't control my blush. You looked adorable."
He leaned over to wipe Seamus's dried tears from his cheeks. An action he had done before many times throughout their school years suddenly seemed more loving than anything. Seamus leaned into his hand, nuzzling his palm.
"Dean, are we obvious to other people?"
"You'd have to ask the other people."
"I mean, remember what Lavender and Parvati said to us?"
Dean's eyes flashed with recognition. "Oh, yeah… I suppose we are."
Seamus laughed. "Hold on, I have something for you."
The boy ducked his head to dig in his pocket for the three boxes of sweets he had bought Dean. His hands no longer carried sweat on them after hearing the other boy's mutual confession. When he looked up again, he didn't expect to see Dean holding a full basket of jellybean boxes, bright colors radiating off the surfaces near them.
"Wha—?" Seamus choked.
"I bought these after you told me to leave." Dean smiled at him again, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Sorry."
Seamus could only laugh in astonishment, having been in utter shock for what felt like the third time that day. The speed of events that played out finally hit him, and he leaned back, shaking his head. There's never a dull moment with him.
"So…did my confession work then?" Dean's soothing voice broke through the soft clattering of teacups nearby.
"That's something I should be asking you. Blimey, it's made me realize I'm rubbish at this sort of thing."
Dean took Seamus's hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed his knuckles one by one, a gesture of affection that made red bloom across Seamus's face. "You are."
Seamus couldn't stop smiling.
Dark clouds had enveloped the sky, creating tumultuous waves overhead, permeated by the moon's rays. The hues of town melted from rich blue to a dark navy with spots of orange lit by the streetlamps. The snowfall had lightened, leaving evidence of its fury in the blanketed streets. By now, most students had left, leaving only a few still wandering about. The duo stepped out of Madam Puddifoot's holding hands. As they walked in the direction of the castle, Seamus looked up at Dean.
"When do you want to do this again?" He asked hopefully.
"Whenever you wish, my love." Dean replied, smiling down at Seamus.
In that moment, his smile was the moonlight, the sunlight, and the stars in between. Even though his face was shadowed by the evening's dusk, Seamus knew it held all the kindness and love he could ever want. Even though he was just a silhouette in the darkness, Seamus knew he would recognize Dean in any timeline. His heart was so full, it felt like it was going to overflow.
Then and there, Seamus knew why he couldn't help falling in love with Dean.