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Neil, privy to the insane superstitions surrounding organized sports, didn't realize how deep they rooted themselves into Exy until he started dating a goalie.
A goalie who swore up and down he hated the game, mind you.
Now, Neil was familiar with Andrew's quirks. Neil wouldn't even really call them quirks. They were more like habits and tidbits he learned over time. He knew he didn't like being touched without warning or permission, he had coffee and cheerios for breakfast almost every morning, and he never took the towel of the shower curtain rod before stepping into the shower. These were typical things people did, and Andrew wasn't excluded from them.
What Neil had not expected, though, was learning Andrew wasn't exempt from the weirdness that was goalies.
It was a running joke between every Exy player: goalies were freaks. They had to be. They stood their ground when faced with a ball coming at their face with the force of a bull. Many goalies have taken one too many shots to head to be considered nothing less than just plain weird.
It wasn't until Neil's second year that he really started to notice the weird shit Andrew does. He assumes it's because Andrew couldn't act on these impulses while drugged within an inch of his life: he couldn't or didn't care to. Neil doesn't want to think about how much of Andrew got locked deep under his drug induced haze. It was hard to care about much of anything when you were higher than a kite against your will.
The first thing Neil noticed was small and something he had seen most goalies do anyways. Every time Andrew stepped onto the court and up to his goal, he tapped his racquet on all 3 of the goal's posts. he always did it in the same order too: left, right, top.
Neil witnessed so many goalies do a some type of tapping near their goal, that it didn't even register as something to even think about. Even Renee slid her gloved hand across the top bar every time she stepped up to the goal. It was so common, in fact, that Neil has stumbled across a few online article that listed out popular goalies and their goal tapping routines.
The second one he noticed is what made him start watching Andrew more closely. Well, closer than he normally did (which was quite a lot, actually).
The starting lineup had just finished being called onto the court. The announcer always called goalies onto the court last since they were on the court the longest. Andrew stepped out to stand a few feet behind them, as goalies normally did. After the national anthem was sung, the team broke to take up their positions. Neil, because he was nothing if not obsessed with Andrew, turned to look his way and watched as Andrew started to the goal only for his steps to falter. He immediately turned around, walked a few paces, only to turn around again and finally walk towards his goal.
Neil stood frozen, puzzled as to what he just saw. He looked down and realized Andrew had turned around to walk over one of the lines painted on the court. The first time he had moved, he had stepped on the line and that it was made him falter. Neil realized Andrew turned complete around to walk back over the line so he didn't step on it. And Neil immediately knew it was something he would do every game. He made a mental note to see if Andrew did it the next game, which he did. And he did it the next game, and the next. Neil realized after a few weeks of paying attention, Andrew never stepped on that particular line. He wouldn't even step on it during practice. When they were warming up and taking their laps around the court, Neil watch Andrew hop right over the line every time.
Neil was curious, so of course he asked.
"Why do you never step on that line?" He asked one day during said warm up.
Andrew slid his eyes to him as they continued their jog around the court. It took a few more laps before Andrew spoke.
"If I step on that line the my defense lets too many balls through."
Neil had to try really hard to suppress his grin at Andrew calling the backliners his defense. Now was not the time to bring it up, because Neil knew he would just be met with disdain.
"Oh," Neil eventually said, "okay."
"It's not rational." Andrew continued, "I know."
Renee piped up from Andrew's other side, Neil almost startled, having forgot she was there too, "It's rational if it matters to you."
Andrew just rolled his eyes and continued along their path around the court.
A few rituals Andrew did before games were much subtler, and took months for Neil to notice. He probably would have never noticed if Andrew hadn't have said something.
They were at an away game a couple hundred miles from home. Neil and Andrew were one of the last to stumble off the bus towards the court that was housing tonight's game. They were almost at the doors to the court when Andrew stopped walking.
Neil stopped as well and turned to look at him, "Drew?" he asked.
He watched Andrew stand there, and he realized he was debating something in his head. With a sigh, Andrew turned around and started heading back towards the bus. Neil followed like a magnet was connecting him to the other man.
"I forgot something." Andrew said.
When they got to the bus, he shoved the door open and climbed on. He walked back towards his and Neil's shared seat, spun on his heels, and started walking back towards the front of the bus. When he got to the 3rd row of seats that usually housed Renee, he tapped his middle and ring finger on the top as he slid by. The whole time Neil watched with rapt attention.
"Oh, Neil said, remembering Andrew's explanation for the last little quirk he witnessed, "what was that one for?"
Andrew was silent for a couple moments as they made their way off the bus, but eventually answered,"Renee got hurt pretty bad once during my Freshman year. We didn't really get along then and she was still struggling with the other girls at the time. She was distracted." He shrugged. It was such an un-Andrew thing to do. He hardly every used his body to convey meaning to his words. Shrugs, talking with his hands, shaking his head, things that made him seem unsure, but he didn't hide this part of himself from Neil. Andrew continued, unaware of Neil's inner musings, "It just happened. I even did this on the medication. I thought it was funny to be irrational."
"I get it." Neil said. And he did. Andrew was a protector. He was also a goalie, and together that meant he performed these little rituals in hopes of keeping his team safe.
Andrew huffed. Neil grinned at him reached to curl his pinky around Andrew's and grinned wider when Andrew allowed it.
"Do you have any that you do so we win?" Neil asked one night. They were up on the roof after a particularly rough game. It was early in the season, but the sting of loss never got easier to handle.
Andrew turned to him, "It doesn't work like that."
"No?" Neil asked, "Well that's good, guess I won't blame you for our loss then." He teased while leaning into his side.
Andrew rolled his eyes. After taking a drag of his cigarette, he said, "It's different for everyone. Some do them so they win and some do them purely out of habit." He paused.
Neil turned so his face was almost pressed to Andrew's neck. He hummed.
"I started doing this stuff after picking up my position in juvie," He continued. "I didn't even consciously do it. One day I was just doing these things. Over the years, some have stayed with me and others I haven't done in a long time. It wasn't until I started playing with Aaron that I even realized what I was doing.
"We were in our last year of high school and it was one of our last games. I had ripped a hole in my left glove and tossed it. It was so inconsequential that I didn't think anything of it until Aaron was slammed into the boards and didn't get up."
Andrew paused to take a drag and hold it. After blowing out the lung full of smoke, he continued.
"He broke his collar bone and had a pretty bad concussion. The gloves I threw out were the first ones I ever played with. I had had them for years. The minute I got rid of them, Aaron got hurt."
"Andrew, that wasn't your fault." Neil breathed.
"I know," His mouth curled ruefully, "but, like I said. It isn't rational. I have to do these things to protect you."
Neil realized he meant you as in the Foxes, as in his team. His family. Neil felt warmth bloom in his chest.
it must have shown on his face, because Andrew shoved him away with a shut up.
Neil thought he was the only one who noticed, but in a team of busybodies, he should have known that wouldn't be the case.
Their second game against the Trojans was going much differently than the first one had. Notably, the line up. Jean was transitioning well to his new team, and that meant it was hell for Neil and Kevin to get through his defense.
They were sprawled around the lounge during half time, sipping on electrolytes. Dan was pacing in front of them trying to think of plays while the rest of them looked on from varying degrees of interest. She only stopped when they heard the warning buzz letting them know they had 5 minutes to get back to the court for the second half.
They all groaned to their feet and made their way to the exit. Neil was trailing behind them all with the cousins and Kevin in front of him.
"Andrew," Kevin said in horror, "left you racquet out on the bench."
Neil raised an eyebrow as Andrew hissed out, "Fuck."
He immediately turned around and walked to their gear closet. Neil turned to watch him rifle through it. A few moments later Andrew emerged with his back up racquet.
"You're lucky it's a home game." Kevin hissed at him, his face practically curled into a snarl.
"Whoa, okay!" Neil said raising his arms to cut off Kevin's view of Andrew, "Kevin, get out on the court. We will meet you there."
Kevin rolled his eyes at Neil using his vice captain voice, but turned and left.
Andrew probably knew Neil was going to ask anyways, so he beat him to it by saying, "That one is his. He has it in his head that I do it so he scores. I started doing it so he would think that. It backfired and turned into a real one that I started doing every game." he said.
Neil snorted, "Of course it did, what did you expect?"
"My drug addled mind thought it was funny." He deadpanned, "It isn't."
"Obviously," Neil said. He hated everything that had to do with Andrew's decisions he made while high.
"It doesn't matter," Andrew continued towards the court, "It stuck and when he realized it was for him he never let it go."
"How did he figure it out?"
"I told him." He said. "It was fun to rile him up, so I told him one day when he was struggling to score. Oversight on my part, obviously." He mocked.
Neil shook his head. Kevin was obviously worried about the Trojans defense if he was keeping an eye on Andrew so closely.
He paused. "Do you have one for everyone?" He asked.
Andrew nodded, but didn't elaborate.
Huh.
Neil figured out his courtesy of an injury that benched him for a week.
He had been questioning Andrew over the course of a few months on his goalie superstitions. He was almost surprised at Andrew humoring him and answering all his questions. Andrew did what he wanted, so he wasn't actually surprised. He stopped being surprised by Andrew the minute he started understanding him instead.
They had fallen into such a comfortable partnership, that it was jarring to think of those first few months after they met. They talked almost constantly, much to the Foxes constant surprise and elation. Neil wasn't sure why they continued to act that way. Every time they witnessed Neil and Andrew interact they almost always cooed or teased them. Both boys always looked at them with disdain and ignored them.
Andrew had revealed most of his superstitions and who they were for. For Nicky, he made sure to tap the door frame of the locker room. Dan's was a series of taps on his right hand and Matt's was a series of taps on his left. Allison got a twist of the hair tie Andrew wore around his wrist (Neil even suspected the hair tie was Allison's). All of these were performed either before or during their games.
Neil's was different. It took him almost months to realize that Andrew performed the superstition for him daily; it didn't matter if they had a game or not.
It was the first thing Andrew did every morning, without fail. Well, without fail, until today, that is.
Neil noticed every morning, no matter if he was up first or if Andrew was, he would get a caress that started at the top of his head and ended at the base of his spine. It was always punctuated with hum from Andrew. Almost as if he was pleased every time he got to do it. It was a sweet gesture, and Neil didn't realize it was so important to Andrew's routine until he wasn't able to do it.
Neil had gone on a scouting trip with Kevin and Wymack to Arkansas. They had a game in the same town that night so they flew out that morning while the foxes drove the bus out to meet them there for the game. They had to leave so early, that Neil slipped out while Andrew was still sleeping.
It was around 7am or so that he got a call from him.
"Neil," Andrew at hissed him upon answering, "you didn't wake me before you left."
"You were sleeping!" He said while throwing the arm up that wasn't holding his phone to his ear. Andrew couldn't see the gesture, but it made him feel better. "I didn't want to wake you. Plus I'm going to see you soon anyways!"
"That is not the point." Andrew fired back, "What if something happens? I didn't get to—" he cut himself off abruptly.
"Oh." Neil said, rather unhelpfully. His brain immediately went to the hand that didn't slide down his back this morning.
"Fuck, 'Drew," he signed, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize."
"Yeah, well when you get hurt tonight don't come crying to me." He said then immediately hung up.
Neil tried not to wince. He new Andrew was just frustrated and didn't really mean it. Andrew would let him cry to him about anything. It had been a long time since Andrew actually kept up his indifference facade around him. He wore it like armor to keep himself safe, but that was useless against Neil. Neil who chipped away at it so carefully and lovingly.
He still felt bad though. Whether Andrew actually believed these actions kept Neil safe was besides the point. Rational or not, it was important to him.
When they met up with the foxes before the game, he made his way towards Andrew with his proverbial tail between his legs. Andrew saw him and rolled his eyes, but beckoned him closer.
When Neil sidled up to him, the first thing Andrew did was slide is hand from his head to his tail bone with a hum. Neil knew it wasn't the same as if done correctly, but didn't comment on it.
"It makes me feel better." Andrew said, as if Neil commented on it anyways.
"I really am sorry." Neil replied, knocking his head into Andrew's softly.
Andrew just hummed again and turned to get dressed for the game.
As the game started and progressed, Neil hoped nothing happened. He caught himself being a little more careful than usual. He may not believe that the superstitions hold any stock in reality, but he wasn't about to test fate or make Andrew even more upset.
It was probably because he was so focused on being careful, that he didn't see the backliner heading towards him once the whistle blew. Neil should know better than to not let his guard down with the whistle, but the game was over and he felt like he had made it. What a dumb thought that was.
The backliner slammed into him so hard he saw stars. He briefly felt his helmet come lose and fly off, but all thoughts ended when his head slammed on the court floor.
He came to in his bed.
"Wha—" His mouth was like lead.
"Neil," Andrew said. He was leaning over him, brow furrowed with concern "you with me?"
"Uh," He said unhelpfully, "maybe." He settled on.
He saw Andrew roll his eyes and turn away. He came back with a cup of water.
"Drink."
Neil's stomach roiled, but he didn't want to test Andrew's patience.
"What do you remember?" Andrew said as he took the cup from Neil.
"Uh," He said again, "We were in Arkansas. We had just won the game."
Andrew nodded.
"Oh, I got hit, didn't I?"
"Your helmet was loose and it came off before your head hit the court. You have a concussion. You have been in and out of consciousness for about 12 hours. Just long enough for us to get home." Andrew said.
Neil looked around and realized they were in their room in Columbia.
"I'm sorry." Neil said, head splitting into a headache when he frowned.
Andrew raised an eyebrow, "You're sorry for getting knocked out?"
"I'm sorry I left before you could rub my back." Neil mumbled.
"Neil." Andrew deadpanned.
"Oh come on! You knew this would happen!" Neil moaned.
I didn't know this would happen," He hissed, "it's not magic, Neil."
"But it's important to you, and I went and got hurt the same day I made you miss doing it." He mumbled.
"Well, now you know not to do that again." He said with an eye roll.
"Okay." Neil mumbled. He was tired of this concussion already. His head hurt and it was hard to make his thoughts into words.
"Stop talking." Andrew said while doing that thing that made Neil unsure if Andrew was reading his mind or not. "You're benched for at least a week, so we are staying here. It's fall break anyways." He continued.
Andrew stripped off the hoodie he was wearing so he could crawl under the covers with Neil. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and said, "If you puke on me, we are done."
Neil knew he was full of shit.
Neil was waiting for Andrew to get back from his weekly therapy session. He had almost a mountain of homework piled in his desk, but like every other student at this point in the semester, he was procrastinating.
He was situated in a beanbag while scrolling on his phone, a new development. When he realized he could scroll ESPN from anywhere, the smartphone in his pocket felt less like a death sentence and more like a pair of handcuffs; chained to his phone like every other young adult out there.
He heard the lock turn in the door and slid his phone into his hoodie pocket. He looked up to see Andrew toeing off his shoes. Andrew walked into the room, and in a very un-Andrew-like display, plopped right into Neil's lap.
Neil huffed out a wheeze-like laugh, "You good?"
Andrew groaned, "Bee says I have OCD."
"Uh, yeah, fork found in kitchen."
"The fuck did you just say?," Andrew practically wheezed out, "Where did you even hear that?" Andrew lifted his head from where it landed on his shoulder and looked at him. Neil could tell he was trying to suppress a smile or laugh, if the twitch in his cheek was anything to go by.
"Allison makes me watch tiktoks with her sometimes. They are pretty funny." Neil shrugged.
Andrew shook his head at him, like he was shaking away the inane path this conversation had taken and continued, "Bee says that my superstitions are compulsions and that obsessing over not doing them is causing anxiety that is irrational- do not say something stupid like 'water is wet'. I can see you thinking it."
Neil laughed, "Okay so it's OCD. Superstitions sounds cooler, though. What do we do about this new diagnosis?"
"We? We don't both have OCD." Andrew replies.
Neil laughed, "Says you. I think this whole team is obsessive compulsive, but yes 'we'. We are in this together."
Andrew hums and plops his head down on Neil's shoulder like he is done with the conversation, "We get ice cream." He mumbles through a mouthful of Neil's hoodie.
Neil runs a hand through his hair and grins, "Alright, we get ice cream."