Chapter Text
It had been the worst week in their life. Kicked out of their apartment, lost their job and their aunt passed away. Cancer is a cold hearted bitch. What's more is an apparent identity crisis to top it all off. 3 years protecting NYC, being Spiderman. Trying to get through college while saving the city. They're near their braking point. The freelance work at the bulge, part time pizza delivery were barely enough to cover their aunts medical bills alone.
College tuition fees nearly sent them into debt and rent, don't get them started on rent. It's been a struggle but they've managed as best they could. That all changed in one sucky week. First they lose their delivery job on Monday. The reason being they were late one too many times. Then J.Jonah Jameson pushes up the deadline for their story to the day after. Making it impossible to meet thus losing out on the much needed paycheck on Wednesday.
This wasn't the first time their luck went so low but on Thursday as they were walking back to their bike from a failed job interview. They thought “It can't get any worse. Right ?” not even a second later their phone rings. It was from the hospital, “We regret to inform you Mr. Parker that your aunt, May Parker has passed. Due to a sudden and rapid decline in her overall health. We are…” Parker didn't hear the rest. Their whole world stopped, their aunt May, the one person that was there when they needed them, suddenly wasn't.
Other than May they've been mostly alone for the last 3 years. M.J left to study abroad after high school. Harry is so busy with helping his father at Oscorp that they can only talk to each other every few months. They didn't have the time to make friends. To busy themselves saving the city or dealing with hard ass college professors… or the bullies that still lived in their middle school years while being in college. They somehow make it back to their apartment.
As to how they got there they don't know. Time suddenly became spotty. Their bike is missing for one, and for two they are wet because apparently it started raining. So when they are fully intending to have a well deserved breakdown in their apartment after the genuine worst week of their life. They see an eviction notice taped to their door and when they stumble back down the stairwell they see all their things tossed in the back alley absolutely drenched.
Yet luckily not everything is soaked through. It's a miracle that one of their old notebooks that they used to design their now iconic suit lay open mostly dry. Having been partially covered by one of their jackets. They picked it up hoping to find some good feelings in the nostalgia. One page stops them however. A page they thought got torn out, crumpled up and tossed in the trash. The page depicted a more feminine version of them in the suit. They drew it during a caffeine filled, sleep-deprived fugue state. A one off question that they almost instantly regretted due to how it made them feel. It was a silly minor thing, a “What if.” type question.
What if they were a girl? What if they weren't Spiderman but Spiderwoman? What if they said something to M.J before she left the country. What if they took that internship at Oscorp with Harry. What if they did something for themselves for once. That drawing… that could have been them. She looked so happy, so free, so confident. As they continued looking at the drawing, the edges of their vision started to get blurry. Then time blurs again, their awareness fades out. They feel like they're being swallowed by something heavy, something sticky, something so suffocating that their brain just checks out.
The next moment of awareness they unfortunately have, shows them on a random roof somewhere in the maze that N.Y.C can so often be. It started raining harder at some point. There's blood on their knuckles and bruises forming all over their body. They can feel a few broken ribs too. From a fight they can't remember. Was it Doc. Ock again or was it the Prowler. They couldn't remember and here they are, standing in the rain with their suit on and mask balled in their fists. Bleeding from various cuts. Alone, well and truly Alone for the first time in their life.
“Where am I going to go now? What will The Spider-man do? Who even am I…” they whisper into the pouring rain. They're about to continue with their spiral when they hear the tell tale sounds of a fight. They put back on their mask. Sighing, Spider-man starts off towards the fight. He takes a running leap off the roof. As He slings building to building towards the scene. He can feel His worries slipping away web by web. Swing by Swing.
It doesn't take long for Him to arrive on a roof overlooking the fighting and what He sees leaves Him baffled. Down in the grimy alley Spidey sees about 15 maybe 17 guys in black gi getting their asses handed to them by… 4 somethings… the things could be turtles or maybe some other oversized Lizards. “not the strangest thing I've seen” Spidey mutters to Himself. He can't get a good look at the 4 figures. Although their skills speak for themselves, the figures were absolutely kicking the shit out of the ninjas? Yeah ninjas, there are ninja in New York. “What's next, Godzilla?” Spidey mutters.
Spidey jumps down and lands on the armored truck. Wincing at the sudden pain that shoots through His body. 'What the hell hit me' He thinks. Now that He’s closer to the fighting He can hear the figures over the rain and they're quipping and joking around? “Hay Raph catch!” one yells before throwing a ninja at another, supposedly Raph. That one grunts out, “Damn it Mikey! I'm busy over here.” then catches the thrown ninja while holding two others down. “Zip it both of you. We need to stop these guys and then head back to sensei, so wrap this up” a third barks out having just finished tying up 5 of others.
“Where's Donnie? Mikey, Raph have either of you seen Donnie?” the third asks. “I think two foot fucks went after ‘im.” just as Raph says that two ninja come tumbling out from the truck. “I am right here and I know what Shredder was after.” the fourth says smugly. “Awesome Brahh. I'm all done here.” possibly Mikey chirps while having 5 bodies laying unmoving on the ground around him. “Good work guys, let's get back to the lair.” When that one walks under a flickering light Spidey can see he's wearing a blue half mask over his face.
Spidey took that has His que to drop in. “Hey fellas bit late for dancing in the rain.” He quips as he lands. Said landing is not graceful. ‘Apparently I'm more hurt then I thought. Adrenaline, what a drug.’ Spidey thinks as He slips and falls over wheezing. Landing in a puddle with a splash. “Hey uhhh… Leo, is that Guy ok?” Donnie says. “Wait! Guys, I know Him. He’s Spide-man! Holy shell dude's we have to-” Spidey can't make out the rest. ‘what's happening… oh, I'm blacking out… what happened earlier…’ as darkness takes hold they feel the cold rain hitting their body and something warm touch their shoulder.
When they wake up the first thing they notice is the clinical smell and sterile coldness that has always been in every hospital they've been in. The second thing is their wounds have been wrapped and with how no pain can be felt, they've been given decent painkillers. When their eyes open they find their mask still on and their suit pulled down to their waist. With a groan they sit up looking around. They are in a subway car turned half decent medbay and that they are seemingly alone.
“Great. Just great. First I can't remember an entire fight that fucked me up worse then my tussle with Electo last week. Then I see 4 skilled turtles? Lizards? Frogs? No definitely turtles kicking the absolute shit out of New York ninjas. When I jump down to help them? Or stop them I black out from the pain, exhaustion and most likely a concussion. Now I'm in an unknown location brought here by complete strangers while heavily injured. Just my luck.” they mumble to themselves.
“This is just the icing on top of this shit cake of a week. Well… at least I'm somewhat warm and dry. I'm not dead so that's counting for something. Would now be a good time to handle the whole gender identity crisis or should I focus on something…” they trail off as their Spidey sense tingles. Just as they figure out where it's coming from, a voice pipes up, “Sooo… do you always talk to yourself or is this a new thing? Cause if it's a new thing I'd like to check over that concussion you mentioned.”
They look behind them to see an occupied desk with a talking mutant turtle sitting hunched over some documents. The turtle is wearing a purple eye mask. He must have felt their surprise because he introduces himself, “Hi my name's Donatello or Donnie. We briefly met a few days ago as you passed out at my feet. Mikey was ecstatic too… well he didn't really meet you so… he was excited to see you at least. Apparently you're some awesome hero or something.” Donnie pauses looking them up and down.
“I can leave if you want to finish that identity crisis on your own. If you want that is. Um you kinda mumble in your sleep. Something about not wanting to be alone anymore… sorry if I'm over stepping here. I'm not the best when it comes to, eh… emotions. Leo or Mikey would be better for that. Um…” Donnie seems nervous now. “uh… as long as you aren't planning on trying to turn the whole city into lizard people or some mad scientist that wants Oscorp to burn then stay as long as you want.. uh… I mean this is your medbay yeah? So I'm the intruder here.” they say as calmly as they can.
“Ok I'm gonna go get Leo and Mikey. They can help with your whole uh thing so… I'll be right back.” and off Donnie goes out of the medbay leaving a very confused Parker. “Well guess I'll be dealing with the identity crisis sooner than I… Well, planning was a lie because I pushed these thoughts so far down that I forgot them… yeah cool I'll be here…” they say to themselves. Then it hits them, “Wait, I've been unconscious for days! As in multiple. Great, just great. Well there goes those interviews... and my collage classes, really hope my professors will understand” Another pause before another wave of panic hits them, “Ohhhh fuuuck. All my stuff was left in that alley. Well I don't really remember if I did anything about that before I was on the roof…” They trail off with worry stabbing through their chest.
It doesn't take long before they can hear multiple footsteps approaching the medbay. They can also hear who they believe is Mikey loudly saying, “Donnie what do you mean that He needs my help? The Spider-man.” they then hear presumably Leo respond as they enter the medbay, “Mikey cool it with the volume. Donnie said that they possibly have a concussion. Remember how you are when you get one yeah?” Mikey gasps, “Ohhh right. Loud hurts, my B.”
Leo walks over and scoots a rolling stool closer to the bed, sitting down when he's close to the right side with Mikey taking a spot at the foot of the bed. Donnie returns to his desk, sitting down with a huff. They can see Leo is wearing the blue half mask and that Mikey is wearing an orange eye mask. ‘Neat, they're apparently color coded.’ They think as someone starts talking but they can't make out the words. ‘Why. What is wrong with me?’ they ask themselves. Suddenly there's a hand waving in their face, “Hey earth to Spidey. Hellooo? Anybody hooome?” Mikey draws out. ‘When did I zone out and when was it so hard to focus…’ they think before saying, “Hay yeah I'm… I'm here. Uh, what's up?”
Leo sighs saying, “As I was saying before you blanked on us. What are your preferred pronouns?” “Um, my what? I don't uh, understand exactly what you're asking. Im Spider-man its uh kinda in the name…” they trail off at the end. Mikey puts his hand back up saying, “That obviously makes you uncomfy. Sorry to point out something that you thought you were hiding but you slightly cringed there. I'm going to say a sentence three times and after that I want you to tell me what you felt. I know we just met but I refuse to make one of my heroes uncomfy. Ok?”
They're taken aback by the 180 of Mikey's personality and tone. 'You know what, with how this week has gone why not let a mutant turtle help me figure this shit out' they thought then say, “Uh yeah… You know what, with how this week has gone why nothat works for me. I mean you guys brought me here right. Patched up my wounds and haven't tried to hurt me yet so maybe im just desperate for… um forget that last bit. What's the sentence?” they finish while scratching their shoulder. ‘I mean what's the worst that can happen here? It's just a sentence. Right ?’ They quickly think.
“Oh we are definitely coming back to that later.” Mikey remarks. “Here's sentence 1, Spider-man is the best hero. He's amazing and the best Guy to be saved by.” Spidey tries not to show how they flinch but it's evident that they failed to. “How'd that make you feel?” Mikey asks. “It uh… I didn't like it. Something felt off which is crazy because for my entire life that's been the normal…” Spidey quietly says.
“Ok progress. Now sentence number 2, Spidey is the best. They're amazing and the best hero to be saved by.” Spidey doesn't cringe this time but something still feels off. “Um, that was better but still missing something I can't place.” Mikey nods and says, “Ok, good we're getting somewhere. Now number 3, Spider-woman is the best hero. She's amazing and the best Girl to be saved by.”
Oh that felt so different, that felt so right. TheyShe hesitantly speaks, “that.. that one felt g-good… Oh my god that's what was missing. I'm a girl, holy shit I'm a girl.” She starts tearing up and laughing at the same time. “Im a girl and it took me being at my lowest and talking turtles that didn't leave me for dead for me to release. First I lost my delivery job. Then I miss out on an important freelance check from the Bugle, making me unable to pay my rent.” She's fully crying now the others in the room are shocked at what they're hearing.
“Earlier before I passed out in front of all of you. I failed a job interview and just after that I learned the one light in my life passed away to fucking cancer. Then when I get to my apartment door I see that I got evicted and my things are tossed in the back alley. What's worse is I have no fucking clue how I even got to my apartment then I lost the time again between leaving the back alley where my stuff was to being on a random roof bruised and bleeding from a fight I can't remember then im jumping in on you guy's.” she gasps out. Hyperventilation and struggling to breathe with tears pouring un-seen behind her mask. She can't breathe, why can't she breathe. Something is covering her face, something is wrapped around her head. She needs it off. She has to get it off. Her hands are fumbling. Trying to get a grip on the thing around her head. When she does she pulls.
Hard.
When the thing comes off her face she gulps down as much air as she can but it's not enough she doesn't know where she is or what's happened. She's scared and alone. Her eyes can't make out much of anything other than blurry green blobs. The one on her right sounds like something? Speaking, it's speaking. What's it saying? She can't hear what's being said. Her vision is darkening around the edges. She can't stop shaking. When did she start shaking? She can't get enough air. There's something on her chest, something stopping her from breathing.
She needed it off too like whatever was on her face. When she goes to grab it, something stops her arms. Something is holding her down. “No, not again! Please Octavius, we were friends. You gave me a job. We-” she doesn't get to finish the sentence. She feels a cold sensation spreading up her right arm then finally she begins to pass out again. As darkness begins to fully envelope her vision she thinks between shuddering gasps and weakening arms with sudden clarity, ‘I got the breakdown I was after’