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The music was deafening. It was the kind of loud that rattled directly inside your ribcage and made your teeth ache with every single beat. The 118 crew had responded to plenty of ridiculous calls over the years, but this massive college house party was easily in the top ten for sensory overload.
The air inside the living room was loud, smelling strongly of cheap stale beer, fresh sweat, and huge clouds of whatever flavoured vape smoke was being handed around. The floors were dangerously sticky, catching the heavy rubber soles of their work boots with every single step they took deeper into the college frat house.
Their patient was a very drunk, very loud college kid who had confidently decided to jump off a wobbly wooden coffee table and predictably sprained his ankle. It was routine, the easy kind.
It was the exact kind of call they could do in their sleep.
Eddie was just finishing up wrapping the kids ankle, keeping his expression totally neutral and professional, when she appeared out of nowhere.
She was a typical party girl who was practically dripping in silver body glitter. She wore a tiny top, that bearly covered anything and carried a plastic red cup, and she zeroed right in on Eddie with the kind of laser focus that instantly terrified him. Eddie stood up, wiping his hands on his pants, and she immediately invaded his personal space, smelling like cheap tequila and an overpowering floral perfume.
"So," she said loudly over the overly loud music, leaning in way too close. "Do handsome paramedics like you get to take breaks? Because I know a really quiet bedroom upstairs, that is calling our names."
Eddie gave her his standard, gentle smile. He stepped back, trying his best to maintain a polite distance. "I am busy working, miss. Have a good night and stay safe."
But she was completely immune to the word no. She stepped forward again, her glittery arm reaching out to touch his chest right over his heavy turnout coat. "Oh, come on handsome. You cannot be working all night. Give me your number, you could come back later... Are you single?"
Eddie felt a wave of pure exhaustion wash over him. He realized being nice was absolutely not working. He looked around for an escape route and his eyes landed directly on Buck. Buck was standing just a few feet away, looking incredibly handsome in his turnout gear, casually packing up the red medical bag. Buck caught Eddies eye and raised a questioning eyebrow.
So...Eddie made a split second decision.
He reached out, grabbed Buck by the arm, and pulled the man flush against his own side. He looked the glittery girl dead in the eye and delivered his line with total confidence.
"I am gay, and he is my boyfriend... I don't think he would be happy if I came back later."
Buck literally froze. It was only for a fraction of a second, a tiny pause where his brain caught up to the words. But this was Buck. He was the ultimate loyal best friend and his improv skills were completely unmatched.
Buck threw a protective arm right around Eddies waist, pulling him even closer until their hips were pressed tightly together. Buck flashed the girl a dazzling, slightly intimidating smile. "Hey babe," Buck said, his voice dropping as he looked affectionately at Eddie, before turning his sharp gaze back to the girl. "I definitely would not, baby."
The girl blinked, looking back and forth between the two of them. She finally got the picture, huffed in deep annoyance, rolled her overly made up eyes, and walked away into the crowd of drunk college students.
Eddie let out a huge breath he did not even realize he was holding. He stepped out of Bucks hold, aggressively ignoring the sudden rush of cold air right where Bucks body heat had just been.
"Seriously," Buck chuckled with amusement as they walked out of the frat house and back toward the engine. "You could not just tell her you were flattered but taken?"
"I tried!" Eddie defended himself, shaking his head. "She was completely immune to the word no. You were the nearest human shield available."
They both laughed, climbing up into the engine. But as they sat next to each other, the ghost of that physical touch lingered just a tiny bit too long in Eddies mind. The air between them had definitely shifted, sparking with something totally new and unspoken.
The shift finally ended a few hours later and they headed straight back to Bucks loft. It was a rare, completely free weekend for Eddie. Christopher was spending the entire weekend at his friends house, doing this full weekend party sleepover thing, which gave Eddie the desperate freedom to just be a guy hanging out with his best friend.
The difference between the loud frat party and Bucks loft was stunning. The loft was peaceful, and smelled like that lemongrass scented candle that Buck always burned.
They sat on the couch with fresh beers, the city lights glowing beautifully through the large loft windows.
Buck took a long sip of his beer and bumped his shoulder affectionately against Eddies. "So," Buck teased, a huge, bright grin spreading across his face. "I am clearly the best fake boyfriend in all of Los Angeles. I think I deserve an actual award for that performance."
Eddie went completely silent. The teasing, lighthearted atmosphere vanished in an instant. Eddie stared down at his glass beer bottle. His fingers nervously picked at the edge of the label, peeling it off in tiny, jagged strips. His heart was fighting against his ribs like a trapped bird trying to get out.
"Eddie?" Buck asked, his voice dropping all the teasing entirely. He sat up straighter. "Hey. Are you okay?"
Eddie finally looked up. He met Bucks bright blue eyes and dropped the massive truth bomb he had been holding inside for months.
"I am gay you know."
Buck was completely stunned. He slowly put his drink down on the coffee table. He looked at Eddie, scanning his face to see if this was some kind of elaborate joke, but Eddies eyes were wide and vulnerable. Eddie naturally sat a bit stiffer, his old military posture taking over as a deep defense mechanism.
Buck softened his entire posture. He leaned in closer, his energy turning deeply calm and fiercely accepting. He used his softest, most gentle voice. "Okay, when did this...?"
Eddie took a very shaky breath. "It fully clicked for me recently. But I think I was repressed for a really, really long time. When I lived in El Paso, there was this guy. His name was Mitch. We arh, we hooked up, but I got so incredibly scared of what it meant that I buried it deep down. I tried so hard to be the perfect straight guy. But I am not. I am gay, Buck."
Buck looked at Eddie with nothing but pride and affection. The best friend filter completely dropped away right then and there. They were just two single guys staring at each other in a quiet room, with actual years of mutual wanting suddenly bubbling all the way to the surface.
Buck took the lead. He reached out and placed a hand on the back of Eddies neck, grounding him instantly. Eddie melted into the touch, his rigid posture dissolving into the couch cushions. Buck leaned in extremely slowly, giving Eddie every single opportunity to pull away or say stop.
Eddie did not move away at all. He leaned in to meet him halfway.
They kissed. It was a soft, exploratory kiss. When they finally pulled apart, breathing heavily into each others space, they were both smiling like massive idiots. They did not even need to say the words out loud. They decided right then and there to start dating for real.
The next few weeks were a literal dream. The honeymoon phase was in full effect and everything outside the bedroom was absolutely flawless.
They went to the movies and spent the entire time cuddling in the very back row, sharing buttery popcorn and secret smiles in the dark. They made breakfast together, joking around in the kitchen while pancakes burned entirely black on the stove, which Buck entirely blamed Eddie for.
At the firehouse, they shared lingering glances across the locker room that made both of their stomachs do crazy backflips. It was sweet, it was everything they both ever wanted. They acted like teenagers falling in love, and they both loved it.
But then the came the core issue. The intimacy.
The first attempt happened on a random night. They were making out heavily on the couch. The television was playing some random nature documentary in the background, entirely ignored. Things were getting heated fast. Buck was sitting in Eddies lap, kissing him deeply, and then Buck slid his hands right under the hem of Eddies shirt.
Suddenly, Eddie burst into a massive fit of giggles.
He literally snorted, shoved Bucks chest away, and rolled off the couch laughing right into the carpet.
Buck sat there on the cushions, completely stunned. His curls were all over the place and his lips were thoroughly kissed. He had been trying his absolute best to be sexy, and Eddie was laughing so hard he was actually crying.
"Eddie, I am trying to seduce you here," Buck said, laughing softly but clearly very confused. "Why are you laughing like a hyena?"
"I'm sorry!" Eddie gasped out from the floor, clutching his stomach. "I am so sorry! It is just, it's you, your face! We have been friends for years, I cannot take you seriously when you look at me like that!"
Buck shook his head, smiling fondly, and simply let it go.
The second attempt happened two days later. Eddie was pinned securely against the kitchen counter. The lights were off, the mood was dark and intensely romantic. Buck kissed a hot, wet trail down Eddies neck, biting lightly at his collarbone. It was perfect. It was exactly what Eddie wanted.
But then Eddie ruined the moment yet again. He started laughing uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking as he buried his burning face in his hands.
"Okay, seriously? What the fuck, Eddie?" Buck asked, stepping back and crossing his strong arms over his chest.
"I cannot help it!" Eddie lied smoothly. "My brain is having trouble catching up. We have been strictly platonic for so long, this is just too weird for me to process all at once."
But that was a massive, terrible lie.
Eddie was not laughing because it was weird. He was laughing because he was having full blown internal panic attacks.
Whenever things got heavy, Eddies brain would immediately betray him. He would think about Bucks wild past. Firehose. Buck had called himself a self diagnosed sex addict. Eddie heard all the stories, all the crazy stories the 118 told him about Buck's 1.0 days. Stories of massive amounts of sexual experience, wild adventures, multiple partners, and doing things Eddie did not even know had actual names.
Then Eddie would look at his own history.
Mitch in El Paso. Shannon. Ana. Marisol.
That was his entire list. Four people. He realized with crushing horror that his past experiences were totally basic. He had no special moves. He was completely and utterly vanilla. Every single time Buck touched him, Eddie became absolutely terrified that once they finally got into bed, Buck would realize how incredibly boring Eddie was and instantly regret the whole relationship. So, Eddie laughed. He pushed Buck away with giggles to hide the terrible fact that he was absolutely terrified of not being enough.
It all finally came to a breaking point on a Friday night.
They were in Bucks bedroom. The lights were turned incredibly low, casting long, soft shadows across the walls. Rain tapped gently against the glass of the loft windows. They were trying to take things to the next level.
Buck leaned over Eddie on the mattress, mapping out Eddies chest with soft kisses. His hands were incredibly gentle, his touches slow and wonderfully deliberate.
But the familiar nervous giggles started bubbling up in Eddies chest yet again. The panic seized him tight. Eddie tried to roll away, letting out a sharp, awkward laugh to break the heavy tension in the room.
This time, Buck did not laugh back.
The constant rejection finally broke through Bucks armour. Buck pulled away completely. He sat up on the very edge of the bed, putting his back to Eddie. He looked utterly defeated. His shoulders slumped forward, and the silence in the room was loud.
"Buck?" Eddie asked softly, his nervous laughter dying instantly in his throat.
Buck ran a shaking hand through his curls. When he spoke, his voice was thick with deep insecurity and genuine hurt. "Maybe we are making a huge mistake, Eddie. I get it. I do. We are best friends. But if you find being intimate with me this funny or this uncomfortable maybe we should just stop. We should stop before we ruin the best thing I have ever had. I do not want to lose my best friend because I keep forcing something you clearly do not want."
Eddie heard the genuine heartbreak in Bucks voice and his entire world completely stopped spinning. Absolute panic set in, completely different from before. He was about to lose Buck. Buck actually thought Eddie did not want him.
Eddie sat up incredibly fast. He reached out and grabbed Bucks hands tightly, forcing Buck to turn around and look at him. Buck tried to pull away, his eyes shiny, holding in tears, but Eddie held on with a desperate, iron grip.
"Buck, please," Eddie begged, his voice cracking loudly in the quiet room. "Please do not pull away. I am not laughing at you. I am not laughing because it is weird. I am laughing because I am so fucken scared."
Buck frowned, his blue eyes carefully searching Eddies panicked face. "Scared of what, Eddie? It is just me."
"That is exactly the point!" Eddie yelled softly, the messy word vomit finally spilling out of him in a rush of desperate honesty. "You are you! And you have done everything! You have been everywhere and done everything with everyone. You have all these wild stories and all this sexual experience."
Eddie took a deep, shuddering breath, squeezing Bucks hands even harder. "My track record is Mitch, Shannon, Ana, and Marisol. That is it. That is the whole list. I am so basic, Buck. I am completely vanilla. When I was with Mitch, it was just a basic encounter, nothing wild. Nothing special. Nothing crazy. And I am terrified. I am absolutely terrified that we are going to get into bed, and you are going to realize how incredibly boring I am, and you are going to get sick of me."
Buck sat completely still, absorbing the confession.
Eddie dropped his head, staring miserably at their joined hands, feeling the shame burn hot and bright in his cheeks. "I was laughing to push you away because I do not know how to be the kind of exciting guy you need, how to keep it good for you."
The silence stretched for a long moment, and then Bucks expression completely transformed.
All of his own hurt and deep insecurity melted away in an absolute instant. It was quickly replaced by pure awe, overwhelming love, love and a deep protectiveness for the wonderful man sitting next to him.
Buck moved quickly. He wrapped his arms around Eddie, pulling him into a hug. Eddie immediately buried his face in Bucks neck, breathing him in.
"Oh, Eddie," Buck whispered into his dark hair, his voice completely steady and full of nothing but devotion. "You incredibly stupid, but beautiful man."
Buck pulled back just enough to look directly into Eddies brown eyes. He cupped Eddies face with both of his hands, holding him gently like he was the most precious thing in the entire world.
"Listen to me," Buck said firmly, ensuring Eddie heard every single word. "All those wild stories? All those crazy hookups from my past? That was just me desperately trying to feel something. I was empty, Eddie. I was completely broken and searching for love in all the wrong places. It meant nothing. None of it meant anything."
Eddie sniffled softly, leaning his head into Bucks warm palms.
"Intimacy is entirely different when real feelings are involved," Buck continued softly, brushing a stray tear away from Eddies cheek with his thumb. "And what I feel for you Eddie, what I feel for you is on a whole next level compared to anything I have ever felt in my entire life. You are not boring. You are everything to me."
Buck leaned his forehead right against Eddies, locking their eyes together. "I promise you, just cuddling on the couch or holding your hand is a million times better than the most adventurous hookup from my past. Our sex life is going to be incredible, simply because it is us. Just you and me. You do not need special tricks to keep me. I am already completely yours."
All the tension, all the fear, and all the anxiety completely left Eddies body. He let out a wet laugh, a totally real one this time, and nodded his head. He finally believed it. He was enough for Buck.
"Okay," Eddie whispered, a soft, genuine smile breaking across his handsome face.
"Okay," Buck smiled back, his eyes shining with joy.
They tried kissing again. This time, there was absolutely zero laughter.
It was seamless. It was totally breathtaking. Buck gently laid Eddie back against the soft pillows, and it was incredibly intimate. Every single touch was slow and thoroughly worshipped. The room was full of soft skin, quiet sighs, and deeply emotional connection. Buck continuously whispered sweet praises against Eddies heated skin, making absolutely sure Eddie felt cherished every single second of the night. It was not wild or chaotic. It was perfectly, beautifully them.
The next morning, sunlight streamed beautifully through the loft windows, warming the messy white sheets.
They were completely tangled together in the center of the bed, legs intertwined and arms wrapped around each other tightly. Eddie woke up first. He felt completely blissed out, his muscles heavy and wonderfully relaxed, he felt totally secure in his own skin.
He quietly watched Bucks perfectly even breaths. After a few peaceful minutes, Bucks eyelashes fluttered. Buck finally woke up, blinking against the sunlight, and smiled a lazy, completely gorgeous smile right at Eddie.
"Good morning," Buck mumbled affectionately, his morning voice thick with sleep.
Eddie smiled back. He leaned in, placed a gentle, lingering kiss right on Bucks jaw, and let a highly playful smirk touch his lips.
"Good morning," Eddie replied. He slowly traced a finger right down Bucks bare chest. "So, last night was completely amazing. And honestly, now that all the pressure is totally gone and I know you actually love me..."
Buck raised an intrigued eyebrow, looking suddenly very awake. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Eddie chuckled, his eyes sparking with total confidence. "I think I am actually really excited to get a little adventurous and have you teach me some fun new tricks."
Buck let out a rich, booming happy laugh that echoed beautifully through the quiet loft. He quickly pulled Eddie down for a deep, deeply passionate morning kiss, completely sealing the promise of a very exciting, totally perfect future together.