Archive of Our Own

The first time Eddie meets Buck, he thinks the mark above his left eye is just a bruise.

It's right above his oceanic blue eyes, pinkish and deep red. Make his whole handsome face look more charming.

Okay—Eddie has eyes and he can see how handsome Buck is. Everyone knows it. He even heard of Buck 1.0 on the very first day of his shift, and he can't blame anyone for it. Buck is so gorgeous.

And as beautiful as it is, it only makes him even more curious about who his partner really is inside. Because deep down, Buck genuinely seems like a good guy, even if he was a bit of a jerk toward him at the beginning.

So, he asks Chimney if Buck is a puncher, and Chimney just laughs. He tells Eddie to take a closer look, and not to let Buck's bratty behavior cloud his judgment.

As a result, Eddie starts looking—almost staring at it. And each time, it’s as if he’s getting drawn directly into a deep black hole.

He keeps his eyes on it every single shift, like a daily routine he simply has to complete, even now that they're friends.

Shift after shift, it stays unchanged from his very first day at the 118. So, he finally realizes it isn't a bruise, it's a birthmark. And right then, he falls into a rabbit hole of his own making without even knowing it.

He likes it.

He really likes Buck's birthmark.

Eddie can easily admit it out loud because it's totally normal. Everyone brings up his birthmark when he pops up on the news or social media.

The birthmark highlights Buck's face, making him look even more stunning. It's completely unique—there isn't another one like it in the whole world as far as Eddie knows.

And Eddie couldn't agree more.

So, besides Buck's bright blue eyes, the birthmark is what Eddie often looks at while they talk to each other. Or whenever Buck is yapping away, Eddie finds himself sneaking glances at it all the time.

It starts to become a habit.

 ── ⋆⋅ ☽︎ ⋅⋆ ──

In their second year together, Eddie starts taking pictures of it.

Every time he gets a chance to take a picture of Buck, he always ends up zooming in on his birthmark in at least one photo among the normal, full-body ones.

Not gonna lie, he's actually pretty proud of his shots. He manages to capture it so nicely—not quite as breathtaking as looking at it in person, but close enough. It's beautiful just because it belongs to Buck.

His phone begins to gain more and more photos of Buck. Most of them are close-ups of his birthmark, paired with those bright blue eyes, right alongside pictures of his own son.

And so, Eddie creates an album.

An entire album of Buck's birthmark.

He's living on cloud nine, admiring his little photo masterpieces with pride.

Everything changes when he is invited over to the Wilson's house.

Hen, who has already been noticing his subtle habits, including the way he secretly sneaks photos of Buck around the station, catches him staring far too intently at his phone screen, pointing it out with genuine concern.

And that is the very first time Eddie comes to a sudden, striking realization.

None of this is normal.

He is not normal—not at all.

Because he has become obsessed with Buck's birthmark.

Way too obsessed.

He knows he likes that pinkish mark on Buck's skin, but he has no idea he is taking it this far.

Eddie is well aware of how many photos of Buck's birthmark sit in his phone gallery. But as he slowly scrolls through them, really taking it all in, a sudden wave of guilt hits him.

He feels like an absolute creep.

Because some of those photos are saved directly from news articles and the internet, cropped down until only Buck's face remains. And others are stealthy close-ups he took while Buck was napping at the station, in the bunk room, and right on Eddie's own couch.

Worst of all, Buck remains completely unaware of Eddie's actions.

A hot wave of shame crawls all over his body. God, this sounds so weird. He’s a total creep. Sneaking photos of a sleeping friend and saving cropped news images feels alarmingly like stalker behavior, but this deep obsession with his best friend's birthmark takes it to another level entirely.

Yet, the photos are already there.

The damage is already done.

Once he opens up his feelings to Hen, he asks her to keep it a secret.

Thankfully, she agrees without hesitation, pulling him into a big, tight hug to soothe his troubled heart.

At first, he was about to delete the entire album. He can’t risk Buck ever finding out about his weird behavior. But the second his finger hovers over the delete button, his eyes start to sting, and hot tears quickly spill down his cheeks.

In the end, he doesn't delete it.

He simply stops taking photos of Buck on the sly—except, naturally, when Buck willingly offers himself up to Eddie's lens.

  ── ⋆⋅ ☽︎ ⋅⋆ ──

By their third year, looking at it isn't enough anymore. Eddie finds himself needing something more.

Eddie wants to touch that beautiful, rosy birthmark.

Sure, Buck and Eddie are always touchy-feely. It's completely natural because of how close they are as best friends. There is nothing weird about touching your best friend now and then—platonically, of course. Things like a casual fist bump, or their shoulders brushing together whenever they walk side by side.

Just normal friend stuff.

But touching his birthmark is a completely different story.

Eddie never dares to brush a finger through Buck's hair, no matter how desperately he wishes to. Thus, touching the mark remains a distant dream.

Yet, staring at it, it’s just stunning. And when Buck gets flustered and blushes, the mark deepens into a darker red, making Buck look even more breathtaking.

Eddie's desire evolves rapidly, from a quiet want, to a pressing need, to an utterly desperate craving.

What if he just touches it and makes it look like an accident or mistake?

Fuck, no. Absolutely not.

That crosses every boundary of consent, and things will undoubtedly become fucking awkward once it's done. Last year, he forced himself to come to terms with being a boundary-crossing creep who secretly photographed Buck. And now he wants to sink even lower—becoming an even bigger freak than before?

Hell, No. This is so wrong.

And yet, the craving still hangs heavy over his heart and hands. He only needs a single touch. Just one touch, and he will never ask for more. He swears it to himself.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have enough courage to ask Buck for it.

He’s just a coward.

  ── ⋆⋅ ☽︎ ⋅⋆ ──

Eddie is being entirely ridiculous, because by year four, he craves something even more than just a touch.

He starts dreaming about pressing a kiss right against it. On Buck’s birthmark.

This is way beyond looking or touching. And it finally makes him question what he actually feels for his best friend.

Does he love Buck as more than just a friend? Or is he just as obsessed with the birthmark as he has always been?

Could this be a strange kink he never knew he had?

There are way too many questions inside his head, and he doesn't have a single answer for them.

Eddie has walked through life as a straight man for as long as he can remember. He never even dated around before Shannon, and they found themselves married with a son before having the chance to truly explore their identity or live out their youth.

Then came Ana, a picture-perfect woman, beautiful inside and out. She was kind to his son and endlessly sweet to him. In people's eyes, they were the very definition of a family. Yet, he still managed to mess it up.

Because he’s only ever been with women, questioning his sexuality was never something that even entered his head.

Until he finds himself craving to kiss Buck's birthmark.

He has witnessed Maddie do it once or twice while Buck lay in that hospital bed after the lightning strike, a gesture overflowing with warmth and tenderness.

Eddie just wants to experience how that feels.

Yet he knows Buck would hardly welcome it. Buck might even recoil in disgust if Eddie ever crosses that line.

Not that he thinks Buck is homophobic—of course not. That puppy is the biggest ally. But Eddie knows how weird it would look if his best friend starts kissing his mark like he’s family.

And that realization leaves a faint, stinging ache in his chest, almost like a sharp pinch directly to his heart.

So, he can only resign himself to gazing at it from afar, just as he has always done.

  ── ⋆⋅ ☽︎ ⋅⋆ ──

By year five, Eddie starts to give up.

He still loves looking at Buck's birthmark—of course he does, and always. But he knows he has to let it go. Every single need, every desperate craving he holds inside, he has to just let it all go.

They're best friends. And best friends don't go around kissing birthmarks. He knows the rule, repeating it to himself daily.

Yet, seeing it right in front of him makes him want to pretend he has gone crazy or gotten possessed—just to press one quick kiss against it and then faint on the spot. He could wake up later and tell everyone he lost his memory and has no idea what happened.

God, it sounds like such a loser plan.

Eddie never actually tries it. He knows he'd just embarrass himself and spill the truth within two seconds. He’s just not that bold.

So, lately, he thinks about avoiding Buck.

He knows it isn't a good choice, but he has to. Before he ends up kissing that birthmark right on Buck's temple in the middle of the station. This distance will help him calm down a bit before he has to face his best friend again.

Just give himself a little time, he promises. He will be back.

He held off on this plan until Chimney and Maddie's wedding was over, so he wouldn't ruin the mood.

And now, it’s been well over a week since he started pulling away.

Every night, he finds himself opening Buck's old photographs as if they are a lifeline. Because in the light of day, he lacks the courage to look directly into Buck's face.

Everything goes smoothly enough until today, right after the second morning of their seventy-two-hour shift. His gut tells him that something is entirely wrong.

The air suddenly grows thick with tension, though he has no idea why. Not until Buck steps out of the locker room—his face pulled into a sulk, brows deeply furrowed, and his gaze dark and stormy.

Buck is definitely in a bad mood.

Is he alright? Did someone piss him off?

Those ridiculously long legs stride forward in a fluid, beautiful motion. Not gonna lie, Buck always looks ridiculously good in his station pants—they make his legs look endless and perfectly shaped.

Eddie watches that well-built, muscular body walking straight toward him. Buck is beautiful even when he’s angry.

No, actually, he’s even more breathtaking when he gets mad.

Wait.

Is he walking—right—toward him?

"Buck—"

Before Eddie can utter a word or make a run for it, Buck swiftly grabs his wrist and pulls him along like a paper doll. The sheer force will definitely leave a bruise, because Buck isn't holding back his strength, as if he’s scared Eddie might run away.

And honestly? He really wants to bolt.

He can’t even bring himself to look at his best friend right now. Because he knows if he does, he might end up climbing onto that broad chest and pressing endless kisses against his birthmark—

Wait… waitwaitwaitwait!

Climbing?

What the fuck, Eddie? Why—oh God—why does he want to climb his best friend like a tree?

Shit. This whole thing is so fucking new. His head is spinning wildly. He can't think straight, and right now he is being dragged into the bunk room, which means they are about to be trapped in a one-on-one situation.

Jesus, this is going to be death of him.

Like, a real death.

He gets thrown onto the mattress, Buck's preferred bunk. Eddie knows it right away just from the scent. It smells like a fresh ocean breeze—not salty, but crisp and clean, with just a subtle hint of mint and something sweet.

Normally, that familiar scent would help Eddie calm down, but today, it does the exact opposite.

Because Buck is suddenly on top of him, trapping him beneath that massive, broad frame.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

"Buck, what are you doing—"

"Why are you avoiding me, Eddie?"

Oh.

Right. He is avoiding Buck. Yes. For like a week and a half, maybe?

To be honest, he has no idea how to answer this question. He wants to just tell the truth, but he can't bear the thought of Buck calling him a freak or a creep. And worst of all, Buck might end up hating him.

What does he have to say?

"Eddie."

"Fuck—please don't rush me right now, Buck."

"Rush you? Am I rushing you?! You’ve avoided me for ten days! Eddie! Fucking ten days! No texts, no hangouts, no talking! Do you hear yourself? You haven't spoken to me off duty! Not even a single time! And at the station, you just pretend to be busy! And you dare say I'm rushing you? You jerk!"

In all these years, Eddie has heard Buck raise his voice plenty of times. 

But never at him. Not like this.

The shouting flushes Buck's handsome face red, deepening his birthmark into a rich crimson. He is beautiful as always. But hearing Buck sound so broken and hurt makes Eddie’s heart ache terribly.

Oh fucking God, he definitely made the wrong choice.

He is such a real loser.

"I'm so sorry, Buck."

"Just that? Just sorry? Where is your explanation, Eddie?" Buck frowns, his brows knitting tight together as his eyes darken.

This sight makes his heart ache even more. He doesn't—he never likes seeing Buck sad or overthinking. And now, Eddie is the very person making Buck drown in an ocean of silence.

"I—I was avoiding you, Buck. And I'm sorry—"

"No more apologies, Eds. Give me an explanation."

Buck's tone is dangerously sharp, laced with fury. It sends a ripple of fear through Eddie. What if Buck ends up striking him after hearing the truth?

No, Buck would never do that.

Okay. He has to say it, even if he ends up getting hated by the best friend of his life. He has been a fool from the very beginning, and he truly deserves the hatred.

Eddie pulls in a shaky breath. He’s already made up his mind, and now he has to face the damage he created.

"I want to kiss your birthmark." Fuck—that wasn't what he meant to say first. The truth escapes his lips before his mind can stop it, yet he must push forward before Buck recoils in disgust.

"I love looking at your birthmark. It began with just curiosity, but staring at it every single day... I started liking it. Loving it. But—but I can't just do that to you, and I don't want to be a freak in your eyes."

He cannot help but raise both hands to cover his face, instantly feeling the wetness on his cheeks.

Oh.

He doesn't even realize his tears are streaming down. His vision is pitch black against his palms, but he knows everything is blurry behind them.

But he can't just quit now. He needs to lay everything out on the table today so they can figure out whatever happens to their relationship. If they even have one left.

"And now I crave to kiss your birthmark, Buck. It's so gorgeous. It makes your face look incredibly charming and unique,” sniffs, “It’s the perfect shade of red that complements your bright blue eyes... and—and everything about it makes you the most handsome man I have ever known."

Eddie doesn't know why he's blurting all this out, but it’s the absolute truth, and Buck deserves to know what's inside his head.

Thank God he cannot see Buck right now. Because if he were to look up, he would surely break down and sobbing before him—or worse, pressing a kiss onto those pink lips mindlessly.

Pink… what? Lips?

Hold on.

Lips!?

The sudden realization hits him like a fire fucking engine. He immediately drags his hands away from his face, snapping his gaze straight up at Buck.

Who is now turning as red as a tomato, his skin flushing a deep crimson. And maybe Eddie's is, too. Because he can feel the heat crawling up from his chest all the way to his face, fast enough to leave him completely shell-shocked.

The eyes in front of him glisten with something Eddie can't quite read, the corners of Buck's lips tugging slightly upward. Like a smile. But Eddie can't tell if Buck is smiling just because he heard him confess to his obsession, or because Eddie called him a handsome man, or simply because Eddie's face looks so ridiculous that Buck can't help himself.

Either way, it makes his heart skip a beat. His chest blooms as if a million flowers just opened at the exact same time, sending a thousand butterflies fluttering wild in his stomach.

Shit.

Is he in love with Buck?

Is this what being in love feels like?

"Wait. Hold on a second. I—I need a moment to think."

"Hey, isn't that my line?"

"Buck." Eddie pouts. And Buck bursts into a soft giggle. The grumpy Buck has officially left the building, leaving behind the radiant, beaming Evan Buckley right in front of him.

He can see Buck grinning. The little sparkle in those blue eyes is gorgeous, and combined with that birthmark, it’s on another level. It’s completely off the charts. Eddie feels the overwhelming urge to pull Buck down and shower that reddish skin with a hundred—maybe a thousand—smooches.

Oh, no! Eddie! Focus!

Is he actually in love with Buck? That’s the question he has to clear in his head first. Because if the answer is yes... he’s going to have to deal with his whole identity and sexuality crisis next.

"Are you done yet?"

"No. Can you just stay quiet for a second?"

"My arms hurt, Eds."

"Well, that's your choice."

Eddie scrunches his nose in a slight frown. Buck smirks knowingly, dipping his handsome face closer.

This fucking guy!

"Buck! God, just get down here! I need to process something serious."

He yanks Buck down onto the bunk, right on top of himself at first, before shifting to the side so they're facing each other in the narrow bunk bed.

Buck looks caught off guard for a second, but then that stupid grin comes right back. A large hand lands squarely on his hip. Eddie flinches at the sudden contact, snapping his gaze back up to Buck.

And his best friend just smiling, as if he’s in the best mood possible—a complete contrast to the moment they first stepped into the room.

Okay, but that's not the main problem right now. The real problem is... is he actually in love with Buck? Like, romantically?

The thought makes his face feel hot all over again. His heart is pounding like a damn drum, and his stomach feels like he’s riding a wild rollercoaster.

Okay. That's the answer.

He is officially in love with Buck.

But since when?

He knows he's been obsessed with Buck's birthmark since day one. And he knows he’s always been drawn to Buck, too. Maybe that was where it all began.

If that’s the case, he’s actually been in love with his best friend this entire time—just completely sidelined by that gorgeous pink birthmark above his left eye.

This is so ridiculous.

"Okay. I'm done."

Eddie lets out a sigh. He doesn't know how Buck is going to react to this, but he has to say it anyway. It's now or never. Because he knows his own personality all too well. If he doesn't say it today, he will take it to his grave for sure.

"I'm in love with you, Buck."

"Oh?"

"What does that 'Oh' mean?" Eddie blinks. Buck seems surprised, but he's far too calm. In Eddie's head, Buck should be way more shocked and practically freaking out. This is totally not the reaction he expected.

"The 'Oh' that means 'I freaking knew it!'" Buck beams brightly.

"What...?"

"Alright... so, you really forget about it?"

Buck's smile slowly vanishes into a frown. Not in a bad mood like before, but Eddie can clearly feel him tense up. The hand on his hip squeezes tighter.

Fuck. Buck's hand is huge. But honestly, everything about Buck is all massive…

Hold on, hold on. Get a grip, Eddie. It’s not time to think about this right now.

"Am I forgetting about what?"

"…Chimney's bachelor party?"

Wait—what the hell did he do that fucking night?

Did he do something embarrassing? Did he already confess his feelings to Buck?

"I—I don't remember anything…"

"You kissed my birthmark, Eddie."

He did… what?

He already kissed Buck's birthmark?

The sudden revelation shatters his heart into a million pieces. Eddie had already possessed the chance to kiss that breathtaking little mark, yet he holds no memory of it. He cannot even fathom how it came to be. Did it feel heavenly? Was Buck truly receptive to it?

Jesus.

Tears instantly stream down his eyes. Anything about Buck's birthmark always makes him weak. He can't explain it—it just feels like wishing for something for so long, but someone else got it before him.

And that someone in this story is himself, yet he can't recall a single memory of it.

Fuck.

"Shit—are you crying, Eds?"

"Shut up."

"No. I won't. What's wrong, Eddie? You have to talk to me so I can explain. Or—or help you."

Buck's tone shifts, growing infinitely softer and more gentle, flooding Eddie's chest with warmth. Yet despite the comfort, the ache remains: he missed his first chance to properly treasure kissing Buck's temple.

"I—" Eddie stops, sniffing hard before forcing the words out, "I just missed my very first kiss on your birthmark."

His confession causes Buck's expression to ease, those powerful arms wrapping around Eddie to draw him into a tender embrace. Buck's warmth and familiar scent envelop him, soothing his emotions.

"I've been obsessed with your birthmark for five years, Buck. And... and I just—"

"You didn't miss anything, Eddie. I have a video if you want to watch it."

"But that's not the same thing—wait, you recorded a video?" He can feel his own mouth open wide with confusion and shock.

"Yeah. I just woke up and found it sitting in my gallery. I couldn't recall that night either—it was way too chaotic and I was too drunk."

"Oh." Eddie blinks, completely processing this fresh information. Suddenly, the memory of Buck’s glare piercing through him all week flashes back into his mind. He’s been dodging Buck nonstop after Maddie and Chim's wedding.

Was Buck just misunderstanding the situation as well?

"Is that why you were angry at me? Did you think I was avoiding you because of that kiss?"

"Yes..."

"God, our timing is complete shit."

Eddie shakes his head, resting his face against Buck's sternum as a sudden lightness washes over him. It feels as if a massive weight has finally been lifted off his shoulders. He isn't entirely free of it yet, but he feels so much better now.

He listens to the faint, steady rhythm of Buck's heart pounding. Combined with Buck's scent and body heat, it instantly makes him start to feel drowsy.

He’s never realized he could be so attached to his best friend like this. He used to think he was only captivated by that beautiful birthmark. But holding Buck like this, wrapped in his warmth, Eddie finally knows—he has been deeply attached to everything that is Buck for a very long time.

"Eds."

"Hmmm?"

Shit, he's sleepy as fuck.

"Sleepy? Want to crash for a bit? I know you barely got any sleep last night."

"You were watching me?" Eddie lets out a soft, breathy chuckle, nuzzling his nose against the gentle warmth of Buck's chest.

"Of course I was."

"Then—can I sleep now?"

"Can you listen to me first? Just for a little bit, Eddie. And then I'll let you sleep as much as you want, or until Bobby calls us."

Oh right, they're still at the station.

Eddie can only nod. He is completely exhausted—ten long days without talking to Buck, without eating any of his food. He barely slept, not just at the station, but at home too. Just an hour a night, waking up only to stare at a picture of Buck's birthmark to soothe his aching heart.

Eddie knows it is all his own fault, and he fully intends to apologize to Buck properly after this.

"M'kay..."

"I love you, too, Eddie."

Oh. Right. He just confessed his feelings first, didn't he?

Fuck, his brain is completely fried.

His eyelids grow impossibly heavy, his consciousness slipping away under the weight of sheer exhaustion. Yet, through the haze, he forces out the words, "M'love you, Buck..."

"You're ridiculous," Buck whispers with a soft chuckle.

He feels the soft press of lips against the top of his head right before darkness completely overtakes him. The comforting scent of ocean breeze and fresh mint settles over him, lulling him into safety.

God, he loves Buck so much.

When he wakes up, he feels a comforting weight resting on his waist.

A familiar scent makes him want to nestle closer, so he follows his instincts. Eddie gently presses his nose against the soft warmth beside him, inhaling the sweet mint deep into his lungs. It makes him happy even before he can open his eyes.

It smells like Buck.

Oh.

Wait a second.

His eyes snap open, and what awaits him is the breathtaking sight of Buck's face, sleeping soundly.

Oh fucking God... he is gorgeous.

Eddie can't help but stare in absolute awe. This man is unrealistically handsome. His face must have been custom-made by God—he's clearly God's favorite, Eddie has zero doubts about that. That face, that physique... well, okay, the physique is purely Buck's own relentless hard work. But still, he's just ridiculously beautiful.

Those soft pink lips are slightly open, letting out gentle little breaths. He is truly the most gorgeous man on this entire planet.

Oh, definitely in this universe. Yes.

Then, he shifts his gaze upward, right toward his biggest weakness—the one that slams into him like a literal plane crash.

Buck's birthmark.

It’s a deep crimson shade under the dim light, but it is still so beautiful in his eyes.

Can he touch it?

He knows Buck isn't mad at him anymore, but still... doing this without consent? Is it okay to just reach out without asking first?

"You're spiraling, Eddie."

Eddie jumps a little, startling slightly against Buck's chest. He was so focused on the birthmark that he didn't even notice the shift in Buck's breathing. He’s wide awake now.

"I’m not."

"You can't decide whether you're going to touch it or not."

"Are you a psychic or something?"

"No, you're just easy to read, Eds."

Eddie instantly rolls his eyes with a quiet huff. Without another second of hesitation, he brings his hand up, resting his long fingers lightly against Buck's jawline.

"Can I?"

"Yes, Eds. Anything for you."

"You're gonna turn me into a spoiled brat."

"That's the plan."

"Fuck you…"

Buck grins, then nuzzles his face affectionately into Eddie's palm. God, this puppy knows exactly what he's doing. So, Eddie doesn't wait a second longer. Slowly using his thumb, he gently traces the beautiful pinkish-red mark right above Buck's mesmerizing blue eye.

It’s completely normal skin beneath his fingers, yet his thumb feels ridiculously warm from the touch. Eddie can't stop the soft smile spreading across his face. His eyes begin to blur as tears well up once more.

Finally.

Finally, he can touch the mark he’s dreamed about.

"Kiss?" Buck asks, his soft voice flooding Eddie with absolute comfort.. Eddie nods, then gently pushes himself up just as Buck leans down to meet him midway.

Chu!

A clear kissing sound echoes in the quiet bunk room. Eddie didn't mean to make it that loud, but he just adores this so much. He has waited for this for a long, long time. He has to treasure every single second he gets.

His lips feel silky and sweet, even if it’s just a fleeting touch. It makes Eddie's chest bloom with warmth. He feels himself melting into Buck's body, his emotions so overwhelming that he nearly sobs.

All those years of yearning, all those years of craving, it's finally reached its end.

"Is it really mine?"

"It's all yours, Eds. Both the birthmark and me. Every single part of me,” Buck chuckles softly, “I'm completely yours." Eddie can see pure affection shining in those blue eyes—that exact look Buck has always given him.

The look of love that he just knows now.

"Buck."

"Hmm?"

The man in front of him smiles, lifting a hand to his hair to gently tuck it behind his ear.

God—this man is syrup sweet, and Eddie loves every second of it. Honestly, he loves every single version of Buck that exists.

"You said you love me... you actually mean that?"

"I mean it, Eddie. Every word."

Buck's steady voice makes him feel completely grounded, like he’s finally standing on solid, unshakeable earth. Eddie feels entirely safe.

"Thank God," Eddie chuckles softly, nestling himself back into Buck's arms, letting that familiar warmth wrap all around him.

"Can—can I ask you something?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Why are you so obsessed with my birthmark? Uh—what makes you feel that way?"

Buck's hand glides down from Eddie's hair to his back, rubbing in slow, soothing circles to reassure him that he’s right here.

"I... I honestly don't even know, Buck. It began as simple curiosity, you know? I actually asked Chim once if you were getting into fights."

A raspy laugh bursts from Buck's lips. "S—sorry?”

"It looked like a bruise! And Chimney didn't correct me, so I kept staring at your birthmark every day. And it slowly became a part of my life."

He admits, raising his hand to stroke the mark once more. The smooth, reddish skin puts his mind at total ease. Touching it right now brings him an overwhelming sense of peace.

Maybe it's the possessiveness settling in—Buck is officially his now, which means nobody else gets to lay a finger on it. Except Maddie and family, obviously.

"But don't get me wrong, I thought it was beautiful right from the start. It’s gorgeous, Buck. It makes you look even more charming. And it’s been pulling me toward you... I actually have... ah."

"Have what?"

"Nothing, forget it."

"Eddie… no secrets between us."

Eddie lets out a defeated sigh, his cheeks turning a bright, burning pink. This is easily the most embarrassing thing he could have admitted, and he just spilled it all.

"I have a whole album of your birthmark... on my phone."

"On your phone? Wait, why have I never noticed it? I've used your phone countless times!"

"Because I hid it! It's in a hidden folder so you wouldn't stumble across it."

His entire face feels scalding hot, and he feels like he’s right on the verge of tears. Fuck, he is completely helpless and sensitive when it comes to Buck and that beautiful birthmark.

What if Buck thinks he's a creep or a freak? How is he ever going to recover from this?

"Can I see it?"

"Buck—"

"Please, Eddie. May I?"

He bites his lower lip in hesitation before pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it over. They share their passwords, and with the hidden album locked behind that exact same code, Buck easily unlocks the hidden photos on his own.

"It's in the hidden album... and please, if you feel uncomfortable in any way, I'll delete them all."

Just imagining deleting those pictures makes him nuzzle his face straight back into Buck's chest, a sudden wave of panic rising inside him.

"A thousand!? Holy shit, Eddie... that's so many!"

The loud sound of surprise makes Eddie feel intensely embarrassed. If Buck finds this weird... can he even survive that?

"I know. And I'm sorry for that, Buck. I know this is—If you find it weird—you… you can delete them—"

"What? No! No way, Eddie." He senses Buck moving, yet Eddie clings tightly to Buck's body, paralyzed by fear.

"Eddie... okay, it's—um—quite a collection. But I'm not deleting it, Eds. I don't think it's weird at all—I'm just blown away that you're... well, obsessed with me. To be honest, I'm kinda proud of it."

The gentle touch on his hair makes him want to cry. Buck's tone is so soft, instantly soothing his overthinking mind. Slowly, Eddie tilts his head up to check if Buck really means it.

The bright shine in Buck's blue eyes gives him his answer right away. It's overflowing with excitement and adoration. No disgust, no judgment—only heartfelt surprise.

Then he looks down at the screen again, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. "Wait... why do the photos stop three years ago? Didn't you take any new ones lately?"

"Uh—I came to realize how strange it looked. To be this obsessed with my best friend's birthmark. So... I stopped taking them. But I still couldn't bring myself to delete the old ones."

"Eddie..." The awe in Buck's voice makes Eddie's heart start to melt again. "It's okay, Eddie. It's really okay, I should have noticed this sooner."

"No, Buck. Maybe if you'd known back then, you might have kept your distance from me. Or hated me."

"I was already your best friend three years ago, Eds. That’s not gonna happen." Buck sighs softly, lifting a hand to his back and stroking gently. "And at that moment, I was already falling in love with you."

"Really?"

"Really. I just didn't realize it yet. I only put the pieces together after watching that video of you kissing my birthmark. I started questioning myself, and boom—turns out I'm head-over-heels for my best friend."

Buck uses that dramatic voice of his that makes Eddie immediately giggles; he is just so adorable like this. Buck always manages to make him smile, even when he isn't in the mood.

Seriously, Buck’s so endearing.

And the newest revelation gives him happiness, he can feel his own lips tugging upward.

"So…"

"So?"

"So, you can have this, my birthmark, and me—every day, every single second you want, baby. You can take as many pictures as you want, and you can kiss it until my skin sinks into my skull."

Eddie breaks into a loud laugh. "You're unbelievable."

"I know. And you like it," Buck grins. His face comes closer, leaving just an inch between the tips of their noses.

"No," Eddie lets out a wide smile, feeling his cheeks start to ache slightly. "I love it."

"What about me?"

Eddie lets out a soft huff, giving Buck's nose a sweet little peck, nipping it playfully before pulling up slightly to plant a warm kiss right on Buck's birthmark. His favorite spot in the world.

"You too, of course. I love you, Buck."

He can see those ridiculously blue eyes curve into tiny crescents, and he can practically feel Buck's invisible golden retriever ears flopping around with excitement.

"I love you, too. Eddie."

Eddie simply can’t help himself; he presses a tender kiss upon those soft pink lips. Though it is barely more than the bare touch, an utterly absurd warmth blooms and swells right through his chest.

But when he sees Buck freeze, Eddie freezes, too. Everything just stops. He holds his lips in place, terrified to move while his heart drums violently inside his chest like he just ran a ten-kilometer marathon.

Those oceanic blue eyes widen, and Eddie feels like he made a mistake. Maybe Buck wasn't ready for this kiss. Or maybe they had to talk about this first.

But as he prepares to draw away, Buck cups the back of his neck. He doesn't force him; he just leans down to erase the tiny space Eddie just created.

Soft, warm lips press together, making his chest burst with a million blooming flowers. Their kiss feels so incredible; he’s kissed before, but none of it has ever made him feel like this—like his body is on the verge of exploding.

Buck nips gently at his lower lip, only a tiny spark of excitement that sends shivers down his frame, and heat consumes Eddie entirely as Buck whispers between lingering brushes of their lips.

"Baby," Buck murmurs, and God, Eddie is about to die right here. "My lips or my birthmark?"

"Fuck—you can't just ask me that," Eddie gasps.

Buck lets out a husky hum from deep in his throat, his beautiful nose nuzzling softly against Eddie's. "Why not?"

"Because I want both! Besides, you already promised you're all mine, Buck." Eddie bites his own lips while looking up through his eyelashes.

Buck’s cheeks turn a light pink, his mouth curving into that irresistible, boyish grin.

And Eddie feels like he’s being teased by Buck. But honestly, if forced to choose, he really can't decide. He just kissed Buck, and he knows he loves it—yet he loves Buck's birthmark just as fiercely.

Thinking about the birthmark, a lingering guilt reminds him that he owes Buck a genuine apology.

He has to do it properly.

"Um… Buck."

"Oh, look who's using his serious voice now."

"Hey."

"Okay, I’m sorry. Go on." Buck chuckles softly, the playfulness fading from his voice as his tone drops to mirror Eddie's serious expression.

"I want to apologize to you. For taking those pictures without your permission, and for acting like some fucking stalker."

He looks into Buck's eyes, of course it’s embarrassing, yet he refuses to run from his own wrongdoings. He knows down to his core that his actions were far from normal.

Seeing Buck about to argue, Eddie quickly reaches out to grab his station shirt, tugging on it softly while shaking his own head. And Buck takes the hint, biting his lip before offering a subtle nod.

Eddie wants Buck to take his apology seriously—not just forgiving him simply because he is Eddie, but because Buck truly sees him as a flawed human being who made a mistake.

To be honest, Eddie isn't sure if it's right to think this way, but he wants Buck to sit with it a bit longer before giving his final answer.

Buck falls silent, though one look into his eyes tells Eddie that his mind is working hard. Moments later, Buck lets out a long exhale and offers a gentle, steadying smile as a signal.

Eddie gives a firm nod, ready to embrace whatever Buck is about to tell him.

"I forgive you, Eddie."

Oh.

Something inside his chest instantly eases. Though he recognizes that this mistake will leave a permanent scar on his soul, being forgiven for something he did wrong and truly accepting that forgiveness it makes him want to cry.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby."

Buck tightens his embrace, and Eddie buries his nose back into Buck's chest. He takes a deep breath, letting his whole body melt into the surrounding warmth as the light, sweet scent instantly puts his mind at ease.

"Listen, when I told you I was proud, I really felt it, alright?" Buck whispers into his hair. "I'm proud that I—that I drive you this crazy. I'm not mad, nor am I disappointed. I know your heart, Eddie. But… well, you obviously can't go doing that to anyone else."

"I know." Eddie responds with a nod, instantly pulling Buck more closer. "I'm never doing it again."

"Good. And now repeat after me: I forgive myself."

"Buck—" A wave of guilt instantly crawls up his throat. Can he really do that? He isn't so sure.

But as he meets Buck’s soft, lingering gaze, Eddie feels a sudden spark of courage welling up from deep inside his chest.

"I—" he pauses, drawing in a slow breath before whispering, "I forgive myself."

"That's it. You're doing so well, love."

He can feel Buck's soft kiss on the crown of his head. He isn't entirely sure how to truly forgive himself just yet, but saying the words out loud feels like a good first step. And he knows Buck thinks so, too.

God, Eddie is beyond thankful to have Buck in his life—as his best friend, his partner at work, and his partner in life.

He loves this man with everything he has.

It isn't just a fixation on a birthmark anymore—it is so much more than that now.

"Love you, baby," he whispers softly.

"Love you, too. Sweetheart."