Chapter Text
“I am thoroughly disappointed, you know that, right Subaru?”
In front of me is my homeroom teacher, Miss Dona, reading my essay and getting really disappointed with me.
Seriously, I thought the essay was alright until I heard it through another human’s mouth. I thought I was like Shakesphere by using big words like ‘regurgitate’ and ‘acquiesce’, now it just sounds like I stitched the essay together on some Frankenstein crap.
“Sorry Miss Dona, I’ll do better next time,” a book move to get out of a scolding, promising to do better but not actually doing crap.
She only sighed, giving the ‘really?’ look before putting down the paper altogether.
“I told you to write about your high school life before transferring, not your gaming and rotting at home journey.”
That was basically my high school life though, just a bunch of ‘rotting at home’ with no sight of change.
“Sorry Miss Dona.”
She once again looked at me with those eerie eyes of hers, something that didn’t sit well with me at all, since the very first day I met her.
“Just because you and Beatrice are friends doesn’t mean I can keep letting you off like this, you seriously need to pick up the slack,” She said disappointingly.
Disappointing people seems to be a specialty of mine, guess I’ll just have to do the same thing and placate them by promising to be better..
“I know and I’m sorr-”
Suddenly a finger appeared right in front of my mouth, it didn’t even touch me, but I just stopped talking because, well that’s what I was meant to do right?
“Don’t give me those empty promises, words are just words after all, unless you can somehow redo everything then there is no point regretting what you have done,” She said with a serious face.
The main message of the sentence seemed to travel through my right ear and left through my other ear, I was just weirdly focused on the ‘somehow redo everything’ part..
‘Imagine what I could’ve done differently..’
Just as I was about to fall into a mess of my own thoughts, Miss Dona flicked my forehead and caused me to jolt back to reality.
“You also have a seriously bad habit of daydreaming, even Beatrice tells me your mind just sometimes wanders off when playing with her,” She said with a critical voice.
Probably because I yearn for freedom.. Is that how it goes in that one anime? I forgot.
“Probably just because my sleep isn’t that good, nothing serious.”
She sighed again, this time less of disappointment and more of genuine pity.
I didn’t appreciate pity much, if I was starving to death I wouldn’t want pity from someone even if it meant I would die.
“Have you tried joining any clubs?”
“No.”
“Any friends?”
“Does the adorable Beako count?”
“In this school..”
“I have.. Acquaintances.”
Now she really looked like she was going to turn me into a campfire story, her eyebrow twitching as she stared at me with a deadpan look.
“Just say you have no friends.”
“Even though that’s totally not true, I will agree for the sake of your seniority.”
That seemed to be the last straw, before I could even react, Miss Dona grabbed the paper she was holding (MY ESSAY MIND YOU) and slammed it on my head.
“That has to constitute some sort of code violation!” I yelled as I rubbed my precious wound.
“I barely touched you, stop overreacting.”
A final sigh of pure misery left her mouth, she leaned back into her chair as if contemplating something.
“So uh.. Can I go now?”
“Not yet, I’m thinking.”
Now it was my turn to sigh, Miss Dona has two doctorates, one in teaching and one in quantum mechanics, two completely unrelated subjects, I know. The point is she has two freaking doctorates, when most people don’t even get one, she’s probably been thinking since she was conceived in her mother’s womb.
“Aha!”
I almost sighed again right there, that’s a noise Miss Dona makes everytime she thinks of something to torture me with.
“I got it, I will make a deal with you, a contract, if you must.”
“What?”
“In exchange for freedom from homeworks for the rest of the year, you must make at least ten friends-”
What a perfectly good deal! I get to skip out on homework and all I need to do is make friends?
“And get at least an A+ grade on your subjects.”
Forget about it, this is the worst deal of my life, might as well sell my entire life times one hundred million to her at this point.
“Hell no, I don’t even do the homeworks anyways!”
The cheerful look on her face disappeared, replaced by the look I get every time Beako gets a stain on her skirt.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, now you either accept this deal or I’ll make you accept it,” She said ominously.
What kind of threat is that even meant to be? Can a teacher hurt a student for the sake of their development? Surely not, right?
“What an ominous threat.. I concede..” I said with a heavy sigh, I know Miss Dona was doing this for my good, I just don’t get it yet.
Now the cheerful face was back on, she smiled brightly and clapped her hands together.
“Great! Now go on! Go and make your first friend!”
I have friends. Don’t listen to her.
“Yeah yeah..”
I picked up my essay paper, which was in a sad state after Miss Dona ruthlessly used it as a weapon of mass destruction against me.
Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked out the staff room, head down and just walking like a zombie.
‘Seriously, ten friends by the end of the year shouldn’t be so hard, right?’
I feel like I just set a flag..
‘Whatever, that’s tomorrow me’s problem, today I need to go home and finish the new episode of this new anime I've been watching. I'm on season four and it’s pretty good.’
Just as my mood was being slightly lifted by the thought of cuddling in my bed, eating junk food and watching some anime, I accidentally bumped into someone.
“Ah sorry!”
Great, one of those people who are overly nice, seriously, I was the one who bumped into you, if anything I should be saying sorry.
“Nah it’s my bad, didn’t watch myself there, you all good?”
A practiced line, good move for garnering kudo points with a stranger.
“I’m all fine!”
Speaking of, her voice is kind of irritating, like a bell chiming and busting my ear at the same time.
“That’s good..” I muttered as I looked up, only to be momentarily frozen at the sight in front of me.
Silver hair just like Miss Dona’s, soft and perfect porcelain skin, a cute flower shaped bowtie to top her hair and eyes, eyes that are amethyst purple, a familiar shade.
“Uhm, are you all right?”
Forget about what I said before, her voice is like an angel descending down to Earth to comfort me, singing sweet prayers that chimes like a bell. It’s also kind of familiar, for some reason.
“Y-yeah..” Stuttering, not optimal for human conversation.
“Well sorry again to bump into you! I gotta go now!” She said in this angelic light, smiling and gracing me with a sight one would only see in heaven.
“Uh huh.”
She smiled again, before walking past me.
‘Pretty..’
“Huh? What was that?”
The girl whirled around, asking me with a confused face.
Good going Subaru, just mutter out your thoughts out loud so the whole damn world can hear it, what kind of romance story cliche are you going for?
“I-I was just asking for your name!” Subaru quickly answered.
Damn that sounds cliche, like something a crappy isekai protagonist would say after risking his life to save a girl.
“Oh! My name is Emilia! Emilia Elior!”
Emilia Elior, I’m sure I know who that is, right?
Right, Emilia, one of the people in the student council, I heard Fourier got sick and had to leave for the rest of the year, so they had to do a re-election.
Pretty sure she’s also in my human rights class, why did I pick that class again?
Yeah yeah, I’m familiar with her.
Ah, my name is Subaru Natsuki. Pleased to meet you!
Yet those words never left my mouth.
I just nodded dumbly, not even giving a smile to her.
Her bright smile faded a little, until it turned awkward, she gave a small nod before turning back around and walking away.
‘I want to jump off a cliff and land on spikes right now.’
I continued walking, lamenting at the fact I just embarrassed myself in front of Emilia.
Or should I say Elior-san? Is that more appropriate? I honestly don’t know.
Walking in the hallway without purpose, I pulled out my phone to check my messages.
Ah, what did I expect, who would even want to text me anyways..
Ding!
Just as I was about to put my phone back in my pocket, a message sound appeared.
‘Well go on, prove me wrong I guess.’
I flipped the phone back open, deflating a bit at the sight.
“Just Shaula..” I muttered.
Shaula is an eccentric girl to say the least, I met her while playing video games, seriously.
I was playing this new shooter game and met her. She insisted I become her ‘master’ and teach her how to be better at video games.
I thought she was just a catfish, like those forty year old men pretending to be an innocent girl and getting money from equally desperate forty year old men.
Well I was wrong, after insisting we should meet up by somehow finding out my address (concerning, I know), I caved and met her some months ago, she is actually a girl, a pretty one at that, but she just would not stop talking to me like a chronically online e-girl.
Scorpion Tail~: Flugel!! Are you finished with school??
Scorpion Tail~: Helloooo
Scorpion Tail~: Guten Tag?
Scorpion Tail~: Don’t leave me againnnn
I looked at my phone with about as much interest as a dead person, just staring at this girl’s eccentric texts.
Pleiades: Heading home now, y u texting me so much
A question for the ages, one that Shaula would never answer.
Scorpion Tail~: Yay! Wanna play with me tonight?
She makes it sound weird, she makes everything sound weird.
Pleiades: Got things to do tonight sorry
I really have nothing to do, but I just don’t feel like dealing with her antics tonight.
Scorpion Tail~: Master is abandoning me againn~
Sad scorpion sticker
Pleiades: If that was an attempt at sympathy then it failed miserably.
Pleiades: Have to go now bye
Was that ruthless? Probably. Shaula is a good girl don’t get me wrong, I would love to see her live a good life with people she loves, just as long as I’m not in that life.
Hearing a couple more buzzes in my phone, I ignored it and continued to walk, now out of the school gate.
‘Should probably pick up some food at the convenience store while I’m on the way anyways.’
I walked towards the convenience store closest to my house, it has almost become familiar to me at this point.
Walking into the store, the slightly chilly air hit my face, making me sign with contempt, before walking straight to the snacks section.
‘Chips or popcorn..’
Blah, who even chooses popcorn in this scenario? I swear popcorn is an industry plant specifically for movies only.
Picking up two packets of potato chips and a bottle of coke, I walked over to the manga section, looking to see if anything was new.
‘New chapter? I thought the author died or something.’
Picking it up anyways, I skimmed through the pages, before deciding to buy it.
“Rein! Give me my shit back before I kick you in the ball!”
“Felt, I’m doing this for your own good, to be the head of the student council you must have good appearances!”
“Are you suggesting I’m ugly?!”
I watched the ‘fight’ from the other side of the window
“Jeez, get a room or something..” I muttered, opting to turn around and walk towards the register.
“That will be 800 yen please.”
Damn inflation, I seriously remember last year it was only like 400.
“Right, here.”
Handing over some scattered coins in my wallet, I didn’t even pay attention to the ‘rare’ 10 yen coin, younger me probably would’ve freaked out.
Yawning a bit as I left the store, I stepped right up to the road, ready to cross.
‘Why am I so tired? Like my eyes are gonna shut down anytime now..’
Bringing my hands up to rub my eyes, reopening them to.. Nothing.
Maybe in another universe I could get isekai’d just by blinking..
But not this one, that’s for sure.
“Hey! The guy in the Lugunica High uniform!”
I turned around, unsure if whoever yelled out was talking to me.
Ah..
In front of me was Felt Lugunica and Reinhard Van Astrea, the two people that I saw ‘fighting’ earlier outside the store.
I slowly pointed at myself, as if asking if they were talking to me.
“Yeah you! I have a question for you!”
“Sure..?”
Felt Lugunica, daughter of the Lugunica family, I wouldn’t say they are a particularly bad family, but when people like Capella are your sister you seriously can’t expect me to have good impressions.
“Have you decided on who to vote for the student council? Hm?”
So it’s about that, I almost forgot that Felt was part of the re-election, pretty sure Fourier asked her to do it and she didn’t want to disappoint her brother.
“Nah not yet, I don’t really care about that.”
“Perhaps we can convince you?”
Now it was Reinhard’s turn, I seriously don’t get this guy, he’s the head of the Kendo club at school, consistently highest grade and also the dream of like every girl, yet he is not the typical egotistical maniac, he’s actually a pretty nice guy, which makes me hate him even more.
“Sure, why not.”
I wanted to say no, I really did, but perhaps it would be nice to at least hear them out?
“If Felt becomes the head of the council, she will push forward reforms to change how the average student lives their life, it will be a magnificent sight to witness!”
When did this guy max his political stats? Seriously he sounds exactly like every politician ever, promising to do a bunch but actually doing nothing.
“Yeah, I’ll consider it.”
I muttered absentmindedly, just wanting to get out of this conversation quickly.
“By the way, have you seen Cappy lately?”
My head suddenly snapped to her, causing her to jump slightly.
“Why the hell does everyone think we’re friends??”
“You’re not..?” Felt said carefully.
“She’s been my bully since we’re kids, she kept taking my pocket money and taking me out on playdates when I just wanted to go home!”
“Ah..”
Felt had this regretful look on her face, even though I know for fact she’s not regretful because I’ve told her this at least ten times already.
“Also why do you people keep asking ME where she is, like does she have no other friends?”
“Yeah basically.”
Oh. That was quick.
“Whatever, I hate that woman and hope she just dies in some ditch, I’ll be going now.”
“Wait!”
This time it wasn’t Felt who stopped me, but Reinhard’s hand on my shoulder.
I looked at him with a confused face, I didn’t think he would have any reason to stop me, after all I barely knew him, aside from his-
“My sister, she said she wants to see you again, sometime this week..” He said in a small voice.
“Ah y-yeah right, sure, tell her I’ll be there, s-sometime soon.”
After being reduced down into a stuttering mess, I quickly shook off Reinhard’s hand and walked off.
‘What a weird bunch, I seriously don’t get people these days..’
And Adelheid.. It has been quite a bit since I’ve visited her..
Reinhard had a sister, that’s something not many people really knew about, especially at school. I only got to know her because Beatrice had a really bad stomach ache one time and I had to go to the hospital with her.
Adelheid Van Astrea is sick, extremely sick.
To some superstitious homeless person it might look as if Reinhard took all the good energy from his sister, considering I’ve never seen him sick or even slightly unwell in my entire life.
I saw her in a hospital bed right next to Beako’s, she was reading a book and had small droplets of tears in her eyes.
Probably should have minded my own business but I decided to talk to her, striking up small conversations at first before becoming.. Acquaintances, yeah, just acquaintances.
At some point I made some idiotic promises to her, that I’ll take her to see stars if she ever gets better.
Looking back on it it sounds like a cheesy promise you see in a fanfic..
Yet it seems like she took the promise to heart, asking me when we are going on the ‘date’ I promised her, which is never, by the way.
At some point I began to visit her less and less often, from every day to barely once every week.
It wasn’t because I’m busy, though that’s the excuse I gave her.
It was more like me knowing I’m not the person I propped myself to be, the person she thinks I am behind the walls of the hospital.
I didn’t want to disappoint her anymore, her life is already filled with disappointments, I didn’t want to be another one.
So I want to slowly fade out of her life, make her forget about me, so I wouldn’t have to live up to an expectation she holds.
The Subaru Natsuki in her eyes is a perfect man, I’m nothing compared to that.
Well that got deep real fast, should probably sign up for a philosophy class or something.
Before even realising I reached home, I walked up to the front door and knocked, of course, I have a key in my bag, but I know for a fact mom would be home anyways.
The door opened, revealing the woman who birthed me, or is that too harsh?
“Welcome back Subaru, how was school today?”
“Fine,” I muttered as I gave her a small hug.
She gave me a small smile before turning back presumably to do whatever she was doing before I came back.
“I’ll call you when dinner’s ready!”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Finally reaching my room, a room of refuge you may call it, I mindlessly dropped my bag in the corner before collapsing onto the bed.
‘Haven’t done anything all day yet I feel like I could fall asleep right now..’
Ding!
Just as I was about to close my eyes, a message sound jolted me awake.
‘I swear if it’s just Shaula again..’
Flipping open my phone I checked my LINE once more.
9+ Unread messages from Shaula and 3 messages from Miss Dona.
Echidna Dona: Pick Beatrice up pleaseee
Echidna Dona: I’m busy until 6
Echidna Dona: Please and thank u
I sighed, Miss Dona is lucky that I love Beako so much.
Standing back up and putting on a jumpsuit over my school uniform, I grabbed my earpods before walking back down the stairs towards the door.
“Mom! I gotta go and pick up Beako from school! I’ll be back later!”
I didn’t really stay for her response, just opening and shutting the door.
The walk to Pristella Middle School was a short one, I just silently listened to the music.
I smiled slightly when I saw the small blonde girl standing in front of the gate of the school, walking slightly faster towards her.
She seemed to be troubled by something, letting me sneak up on her undetected.
I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her in the air while she let out a cute yelp.
“Beako!”
“Subaru!”
I hugged her again before putting her down, patting her head while I’m at it.
“Q-quit embarrassing me I suppose..”
Beatrice Dona, don’t ask how she’s Miss Dona’s child when she doesn’t look anything like her at all, it’s not worth it. She’s a smart girl, too smart for her age. Sometimes I wonder how she’s so mature while looking like the cutest little girl in the world.
“Never! The adorable Beako must be teased!”
Beatrice looked away embarrassed, while I just smiled at her.
“Hmm? Beatrice, is that the older brother you were talking about?”
Looking to my side, I saw another girl, about Beako’s age, with purple hair and bright green eyes, holding a small stuffed plush and sporting a mischievous smirk.
“Betty never said that I suppose.” Beatrice tried weakly.
“Beatrice most definitely did say that! Are you her big brother?”
Now it was another girl, the same age but with reddish brown hair and cyan blue eyes, a small red bowtie sat atop her hair.
“Aww, have you been saying I’m your big brother to your friends Beako?”
Beatrice just gave a frustrated look towards the two other girls.
“Hello Beatrice’s big brother! I’m Petra!”
“I’m Meili”
Petra Leyte and Meili Portroute, two girls in Pristella Middle School, if my memory serves me right they were just starting school when I graduated..
“I’m Subaru, nice to meet you both,” I said with a small smile.
“Enough I suppose,” Beatrice cut in, “Mother would want me home before dinner, I suppose.”
“Ah yea that’s right, sorry kiddo but I’ve gotta take Beako home now.”
The two other girls pouted slightly at that, but relented and hugged Beatrice goodbye, even though she’s trying to act embarrassed and unwilling, I could tell she enjoyed the hugs.
After once again waving goodbye, I took Beako’s small hand in my own and began walking with her.
“B-Betty doesn’t need you holding her hand, I suppose.”
I didn’t respond, just smiling at her and continuing to walk.
Beatrice is.. Someone I consider really close.
She is like my little sister, yet oftentimes I find her teaching me things I didn’t even know about, so it’s not right to say that.
If anything, she feels more like an older sister, if you can ignore the age that is..
I feel like I wouldn’t be who I am without her, even just by being next to me, holding my hand as we walk, she makes me feel at ease.
“Subaru?”
Her soft voice brought me out of my ‘daydreaming’, looking up at me with slight concern.
“Nothing, wanna come back to my house for dinner? Miss Dona won’t be back for a bit.”
“I suppose.”
She turned her head the other way, clearly trying to hide her little smile.
I didn’t press it, as long as I know she appreciates it, that’s enough for me.
The walk back to my home was short, almost as if it was the same trip I took..
I once again knocked on the door, this time someone else opened it.
“Subaru! How was it huh? School, I mean!”
“Fine dad, also can Beako stay for dinner, Miss Dona said she’ll be busy.”
“Of course!”
Beatrice gave her thanks, before walking towards the living room, I however, began walking upstairs.
“I’ll be down there when dinner’s ready,” I said to Beako’s confused face.
She reluctantly nodded, with a tiny pout.
Once again reaching my room, I flopped into my bed for the second time today.
Life’s been.. Normal, to say the least.
So normal it might as well be a low-stake slice of life story that has 12 episodes and no second season.
I closed my eyes once more, thinking to myself just a few minutes of sleep.
Darkness, they cover your vision, or rather the lack of it.
I felt something crawling up my back, yet I could not move.
“I love you.”
A bright light then pierced whatever darkness concealed my sight, leading me to begin vividly recalling something, like a deep tumor hidden in my memory.
It was a bright day, or was it cloudy?
It was at a park, or was it an office?
It was a silver haired girl, that was for certain.
I saw her, she saw me.
Her eyes were purple, like a gem glowing in the dark, as bright as the moon would shine on a full moon's day.
Her face was blurred by darkness, twirling and contorting like some sort of tentacles, I could only see her eyes, just that.
An arm reached out to me, I wanted to reach for it back, but I felt nothing.
Then, her arm retracted, reaching for the thing on her hair.
A star-like emblem, hanging on her hair.
She took it off, handing it to me.
I did not want to reach for it, yet my body had its own will and took it.
I could’ve sworn I saw a smile beneath the shadows, or was I just going crazy?
Then, light.
“Subaru, wake up!”
Ah, Beatrice..
“You’ve been sleeping for thirty minutes I suppose, Miss Natsuki was calling you to come down.”
Thirty minutes? That was long, unusually long for the short dream I had.
Was that a dream? Most likely, I don’t really remember anything about a silver-haired girl handing me an emblem.
“Sorry, I’m just really tired today..”
Beako gave me a disapproving look, before taking my hand and gently rubbing it.
“It’s alright, I suppose,” Beatrice said while continuing to comfort me, “Betty is here for you.”
I didn’t really need comforting, I’m a fully grown man getting comforted by a girl several years my junior.
It felt nice though, like a type of warmth you would get by sitting next to a campfire on a really cold day.
It’s all going to be alright, I hope.