Work Text:
“Christopher Diaz!”
Eddie's voice ricochets around the small room as the door slams shut behind them. He usually doesn't yell at his son. In fact, he can count on one hand the amount of times that he has really raised his voice like this. He usually would feel bad, especially after Texas, guilt flooding through his body and settling like ice in his veins. But, he's learned over the last several months that a little disagreement won't send Chris running almost 1,000 miles away and he's still a teenager. He needs guidance.
And right now? He needs to explain himself before the rest of the summer becomes less of a teenager dream and more like prison.
“Talk,” he sits on the bed next to Chris who's arms are crossed over his chest, eyes red rimmed with tears he's trying not to let fall.
“No.”
“Chris,” Eddie sighs. “Mijo,” he tries. “I need to know what that was out there.”
“He's stupid and I don't want him around. He was fun when he was just visiting but he's here all the time, and I just want to all go back to how it was!”
Eddie just sits there for a moment. Because of all the options…this wasn't the one that he thought was even a possibility. Not with Chris. Not with his son whose heart was so big and so full of love to give.
“He's not stupid, Christopher." His voice steals over again. “He's 4.”
Eddie gets it. He understands. It was an adjustment for him too. There was no nine months to prepare, no looking through toy stores or setting up a baby registry. There was just fire and pain and a toddler dropped into his best friend's lap that invaded every corner of their shared lives. But he couldn't imagine life without Theo now. Without twin blue eyes staring up at him like he'd brought the moon down to earth when all it is was a pint of ice cream and a toy fire truck from the Walmart clearance aisle tucked under his arm.
“I know it's rough and I know it's a lot but it'll get easier and–and Theo adores you! We all just need to settle in a bit.”
Chris rolls his eyes. “Of course you don't actually care about what I think!”
“Of course I care, mijo! But we don't exactly get a say in this and Theo is 4. You can't yell like that at a toddler, Chris. You know this.”
“Well I don't want him here and it's my house too!”
“Christopher!” Eddie feels the way the word scrapes his throat raw with how loud it comes out. It's a bellow and he's sure that Buck can hear it from the living room, but he doesn't really care. If it was anyone else he'd be embarrassed but it's only Buck and it almost feels like he has backup out there ready to step in if he needs it. Buck's has never been one to shy away from helping Eddie handle a situation with Chris, now they just get to swap, and it makes a feeling stir in Eddie's stomach that he's not sure he's quite ready to examine yet. Or, he has examined it, but he's not ready to talk about it yet.
“Chris I–”
“Why can't he just go away? He has another family, he doesn't need to take mine!”
Eddie tries in vain to interrupt again, but now that Chris has started he can't seem to stop.
“You're gonna replace me just like Buck did and I don't like him!”
“Oh Chris,” Eddie leans forward as the teenager starts to cry. He buries his face into Eddie's chest and heaves large, wet tears soaking through to bare chest. He can't remember the last time his son cried like this. Maybe after Shannon? The tsunami? He had a memory drudged up from years ago, little Chris with red glasses, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks as he cried about Buck not being around despite needing him. Wanting him. It strikes him that the reason for the tears now is all very much the same.
“Chris,” he says again as the teenager starts to calm, Eddie carding his fingers gently through soft curls.
“No one could ever replace you. Not for Buck and certainly not for me.”
A pitiful sniffle.
“You're my kid, mijo. And Buck– he-’he loves you and having Theo around isn't going to change that. He just– he needs a lot of help right now and I thought– well buck and I thought you'd be able to–”
“I don't want to help him steal my dad.”
“Nothing in this life could take me away from you. Okay? Nothing.”
Chris hiccups and shakes his head. “N-n-not you,” he manages to stutter out. “Buck…”
And Eddie's heart melts as Chris just falls further into his arms, tears still streaming. He's known for a while that Buck is like another parent to his son. Sure, it's not exactly conventional and he's never pushed for anything, but to hear his kid say it, with so much conviction and sadness; it breaks him clean in half.
“Hes not replacing you.”
“He is,” Chris mutters, and intense type of sadness leaking into every word. “Hes not gonna–gonna want me now that he has his own kid.”
“Christopher,” Eddie tries again although his own brain is spinning, playing his son's words over and over again, pressing down in his chest and forcing him to reckon once again with the feelings he's been expertly pushing down for months now. “Buck loves you.”
As if it was planned, there's a knock on the door and Eddie himself could sob. Because of course Buck would know. He'd sense that Chris needed him, that Eddie did too.
“Theo fell asleep on the couch and uh–everything okay in here?”
Eddie cradles Chris's head close. “It's just–” he looks down at Chris before looking back up to Buck, and it's a beautiful thing that happens. Buck takes a step forward, sitting himself on the edge of the small, twin bed. He slowly swaps Chris into his own arms, the teenager falling against his chest easily.
“I'm gonna–” Eddie gets up and points towards the door as he makes his way back towards the living room. “Make sure Theo is okay and give you guys a minute.”
Buck just nods, his attention almost fully on Christopher as he starts whispering into messy curls, hand running calming circles against his back. Eddie gets out to the living room and checks on Theo first, the toddler asleep on the couch, curled up in the fetal position with his jeans still on and a stuffed dinosaur tucked up under his chin. Eddie pulls a blanket over and drops a soft kiss to his curls before going into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
He's not sure how long he's standing there, back pressed to the countertop and eyes trained out the small windows above the sink, but he's startled from his thoughts by Buck sliding up next to him, socked feet near silent on the tile.
“He's asleep,” Buck says lightly, picking at a stray thread on his tshirt. “Cried himself out i guess. Hasn't done that in a long time.”
Eddie hums in agreement, not entirely sure what to say. He doesn't know how much Chris told him, or how honest he was. And in turn, Eddie doesn’t know how honest he should be.
“It'll be okay,” Buck says after a few minutes. “We talked. He apologized. He's going to apologize to Theo tomorrow. But uh–it's–it's gonna be okay I think.”
“Im in love with you.”
The words fall from Eddie's mouth before he even turns to look at Buck. His eyes are still trained on the kitchen window, taking in the inky black sky and the lack of stars, LA light pollution creating a gentle glow in the distance. When he does finally turn it takes his breath away. In the low open light of the kitchen his best friend looks almost ethereal and Eddie wonders why he isn't spending everyday simply looking at Buck.
He lets his eyes follow the natural curve of Buck's face and how the light catches against the light pink of his birthmark before highlighting the blondeish-red stubble he's been too busy to shave. His arms flex and there's a pull at the corner of his mouth. And Eddie wants to spend the rest of his life looking at Buck and touching Buck and holding him as long as he'll let him.
“Eddie–”
“I am so in love with you and i have been for--God i dont–years maybe?” Buck is still just kind of looking at him so Eddie soldiers on. “And I was content with just–with having you in the way you wanted me but I watch you with Theo and i hear chris call you his dad and i–Im– I promised him you're not relaxing him, that you'd never. And I realized that I don't want you to replace me either. So don't. Don't date. Don't go looking ever again. Just– just stay. Here. With us. Both of you.”
When he chances a glance again, there's tears streaming down Buck's face and his eyes are so soft and Eddie can't help it, he leans to his left and slots their lips together, a breathy little “oh,” punching out of Buck in a way that almost seems instinctual, like he can't control it. It takes a moment for him to catch up, but when he does he kisses back and Eddie's world explodes.
Eddie has had a lot of first kisses in his life and none of them have felt like this. He's used to things being dainty and delicate, never pushing too far. He's used to large hands settling into the feminine curve of a waist and fingers ghosting over soft cheekbones. He's used to leading and being calm and in control. That all flies out the window the moment that Buck's brain catches up and he engages, starts kissing back. He's gentle about it, but he's bigger than Eddie, boxing him in against the counter, his weight blanketing over Eddie like something warm and comforting, weighing him down in the most delicious way.
Theres tongue probing softly at the seam of his lips and he opens under Buck like there's nowhere else he'd rather be. Buck pushes and Eddie folds. Buck pulls and Eddie chases. It's like they've always been but pleasure soaked and a little whine escapes Eddie's throat, ripped from him without permission, as one of Buck's hands settles to cup his jaw and the other falls to his waist, fingers digging into soft flesh through the cotton of his shirt.
They pull back after that, Eddie looking at Buck and Buck's eye flitting from his face to the entrance of the living room. They're both breathing heavy and Buck's lips are bright pink, swollen and spit slick. Eddie did that, he realizes. Buck is a beautiful mess standing in front of him and Eddie did that. He almost feels impressed with himself, an emotion that's admittedly never come with romance for him.
“Hey,” the soft timber of Buck's voice pulls him back from fantasy.
“Hi.”
They giggle. Together. It's apparent neither of them know what to say or how.
“Can't say I expected my night to end with a love confession."
Eddie sighs as Buck's hands ease from his body and he steps back. Eddie misses him immediately, but he doesn't go far. Just leans back against the counter top, letting his fingers find Eddie's; still a connection. Still living the moment.
“Do you–”
“Yes.” Buck interrupts before he can even finish the question. “You have to know, Eds. It's always been yes.”
And what's Eddie supposed to do other than kiss him again? So he does. Leans over, using Buck's hand in his to pull them together, and kisses him. For the second time. It's equally a wonderful as the first, but firmer this time, a little more desperate and Eddie gets lost in it, falling…falling…falling–
“Ed–Eddie?”
They break apart for the second time that night, flush high in their cheeks and if Buck looks wrecked just from this, Eddie knows he shouldn't even think about looking in a mirror. So, he doesn't. He spins himself out of Bucks hold with a smirk as he walks towards the soft sound of his name being called from the living room.
“Don't go anywhere, Buckley.”
Buck smiles at him and leans back on the counter. “Wouldn't dream of it, Diaz.”
“Now,” a light peck to his cheek before Buck fully lets him walk away. “Go take care of our kids.