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Sunlight peeked through the curtains as the morning clouds passed over Whitestone. In truth, they'd been in bed far too long. Gilmore was used to waking early enough to have some time to himself before starting work for the day, but with the routine of daily life thrown into chaos, he was content to take comfort where he could find it. Keyleth had left the room after their earlier conversation, presumably to find breakfast, which left him alone to watch their lover sleep.
There was a look of peace and contentment on Vax’s face in sleep that was rarely there in his waking hours, when worry and fear tended take hold of him. There was still a sense of darkness following him that Gilmore suspected would never fully leave, but it no longer threatened to drag him down permanently. His smile widened as he slowly opened his eyes to look up at Gilmore. “Shaun. G’morning.”
“Good morning to you.” He rested a hand on Vax’s forehead, smiling as he leaned into the touch. “How are you feeling?”
“A little strange,” he admitted. “I never really thought I'd get to wake up next to you. It almost feels like this is a dream and reality is just waiting for me to catch up.”
“Well… it's true there are hard times ahead, but I can assure you this is real.” Gilmore leaned in for a kiss, warm and soft and full of gentle passion.
Vax took a moment to catch his breath once they parted. “Speaking of dreams, was Keyleth here earlier?”
As if on cue, there was a tentative knock on the door. “Are you two decent?”
“That depends on your definition.” Gilmore raised an eyebrow as Vax snorted and punched him lightly on the shoulder.
“We're fine, Kiki, you can come in.”
She entered, carrying a tray of food. A few bowls of oatmeal and a small amount of dried fruit were apparently all the kitchens of Whitestone had left to spare at this time of the morning. The three of them sat together on the bed, eating their simple meal in peace.
“So,” she spoke up eventually, setting the tray aside. “We should probably talk about what's going on with the three of us.”
Vax's calm, cheerful mood seemed to diminish somewhat, and the momentary look of uncertainty that crossed his face didn't go unnoticed by his companions. “Yeah, I guess we should.”
Keyleth reached out to grab his hand. “Hey… don't, okay? I think this is going to be good for all of us, but if it's going to work, we have to be honest with each other.”
“No, you're right. I know.” He leaned closer to Gilmore, who wrapped his arms around him unhesitatingly. “Sorry. I'm just… still getting used to the fact that this is happening at all. It's kind of overwhelming.”
“It's okay. Would it help if I went first?”
Vax shrugged and then nodded, relaxing back against Gilmore's chest as the other man pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. In fact, he was rather proud of Keyleth for taking the initiative. He knew the kind of unspoken courage it took for her to be so bold.
“Right, well, the first thing you should probably know is that I don't really do the whole… sex thing.”
(And now Vax was really impressed that she'd managed to get through that sentence without blushing.)
“I mean, I know about it,” she continued. “We're nature people, you know, it's kind of a thing. I'm just… still learning a lot about who I am and what I want and I'm not really sure if I want it for myself yet.”
Gilmore glanced down at Vax, and the lack of surprise on his face confirmed that this wasn't new information for him. “I can only speak for myself, dear, but that won't be a problem for me.”
“Right. Because you're…”
“Right.”
“I don't mind you two doing it. I mean, obviously.” The blush was starting to creep in now, but she was determined. “... And I maybe wouldn't mind watching at some point, if it would be okay with you both.” The latter half of the statement came out very quickly, before she could overthink it.
Vax, it seemed, had been rendered temporarily speechless by the idea, so Gilmore reached for Keyleth's other hand. “If you're interested in exploring your limits, we can certainly discuss that when you're ready.” He nudged Vax's shoulder. “Close your mouth, darling.”
“Sorry.” The moment could have been awkward, but as he looked up at Keyleth it was easy to mirror her smile. “Kind of went somewhere else for a bit there.”
The rumble of Gilmore's quiet laugh against his skin was a surprisingly comforting feeling. “I'm sure that's not the only thing on your mind, though.”
“No, it's really not.” He sighed, hastening to explain himself. “Don't get me wrong, this is definitely one of the best things that's ever happened to me. It's just… difficult.”
Keyleth gave him a contemplative look, gently squeezing his hand a little tighter. “How so?”
“It's…” Vax paused, trying to think of the best way to put his feelings into words. “I'm really not used to being in love, right? And I always thought that when… if it happened for me, then that would be it. One person, always.” He shook his head. “It seems so naive, considering the life we lead, but it’s how I felt. And when I realized I love you, Keyleth, I thought that's it, you're the one.”
She nodded. “But then there was Gilmore, too.”
“Yeah.” He looked up at the other man, with a sense of quiet regret that was almost painful to see. “I always knew how special you are to me. I could even accept that I loved you, but I didn't realize what that meant until we found you that night… I didn't understand how it was possible to give yourself completely to more than one person, and I still can't explain it but I know it's true. And I'm so sorry I put you through all that because I couldn't figure out what my heart was doing.”
“Don't be.” Gilmore ran his free hand through Vax's sleep-tousled hair, smiling at his satisfied sigh. “You were honest with me about how you felt at the time. That's all I could ever ask for.”
Vax's voice was quiet as he pressed his face to Gilmore's shoulder. “If I could take it back, I would.”
“Dwelling on the past rarely works out well, in my experience,” he replied softly. “Best to consider it a learning experience and focus on what's to come.”
“That's funny. Usually people call it a learning experience when I've seriously fucked up somehow.”
Keyleth scooted closer, gathering them both into her arms for a group hug. “You haven't. That's why we're here talking about this now, to make sure no one gets hurt.”
“I don't want to think about this anymore when we have to leave so soon.” He felt safe and surrounded between the two of them, with Keyleth's willowy strength supporting him and the soft solidity of Gilmore wrapped around him from behind. It was hard to face the prospect of leaving that security behind for such an uncertain future. “I want to enjoy the time we have together.”
“I understand.” Gilmore tucked a stray lock of Vax's hair behind his ear, evoking a moment he couldn't bear to revisit. “I think we're good here, unless anyone else has something to say.”
“I think we talked about everything I had,” Keyleth confirmed. “Vax?”
“I don't want to leave.” The room went very still as he blurted out the words. “I know we can't turn our backs on the world. It's part of why I didn't take things further before.” His voice was still sad as he wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around Gilmore. “I didn't think it was fair to you that I'd be leaving you behind all the time.”
Gilmore made soothing noises as the three of them simply held each other. “It wasn't really any easier for that. But you've always returned with tales to tell, and I'm glad to be the one you tell them to.”
Vax's response was barely a whisper. “What if we don't come back?”
Keyleth saw a pained look cross Gilmore's face for barely a second. She suspected he'd asked himself the same question many times. “The way things are going, it could be just as dangerous if we stayed here.”
“Love's always a risk, my dear. Everything worth doing in this world carries some chance of failure. But believe me- look at me, Vax'ildan.” Gilmore tucked a hand under Vax's chin, tilting his head up to look him in the eye. “Believe me when I tell you that you are worth that risk.”
He sealed the words with a kiss which, just as before, was new and exciting but somehow as warm and familiar as coming home after a long day's travel. He broke away just far enough to nuzzle against the side of Vax's face, simply enjoying their connection as he glanced at Keyleth. “You're both worth it.”
It was the first time she'd seen the two of them so intimate. She'd wondered if she might feel some lingering jealousy, despite her conviction that this was the right course of action for them all, but she was relieved to find that she felt only affection. “I think so too.”
“Glad we're all in agreement here, but I do have some personal business to attend to.”
Vax smiled, kissing them both as he gently extracted himself from their embrace. “Be right back.”
Once he'd headed off to the en suite washroom, Keyleth turned to Gilmore with a searching look. “You're really okay with Vax and me being on our own when we go?”
“You're hardly on your own with the rest of Vox Machina. Not to mention the various other characters you tend to collect during your travels.” He was touched by her concern, unnecessary though it was. “Actually, I rather like the thought of you two taking care of each other while we're apart.”
“Oh… okay. Good.”
“And you're sure you're alright with this new… development between us?” He was probably being overly cautious, since Keyleth had seemed the most confident out of all of them in this new arrangement, but if she did have doubts it was best to get them out in the open.
“Of course. I mean, there's still some things to figure out between the two of us, but I think we'll get there pretty quickly.” She took his hand again, lacing their fingers together. “He's always been happier when you're around. I can tell.”
“Well.” A hint of a familiar grin crossed Gilmore's face. Even after everything they'd been through, he could appreciate a good ego boost when he heard one. “I think by now it's safe to say he's happiest around the both of us.”
“Yeah.” Keyleth returned his smile. “It does kind of feel like we've won the grand prize, doesn't it?”
“Let's revisit that idea once the world is minus a few dragons.”
The door to the washroom was open just enough that Vax could listen to the quiet conversation as he cleaned and dressed himself. It was for the best that they didn't know about the dream he'd had. He'd simply have to face the consequences of the bargain he'd made as they came.
As scared and confused as he still was, at least he'd have the people he loved on his side.