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For all of Laslow’s flirting antics, marriage had never once crossed his mind. Perhaps it was because he had never gotten to the point where marriage was ever a topic to consider—after all, he only usually got a few words in before he was rejected. Heck, he had never even gotten into an actual, serious relationship with someone until now. But of course, once he realized he was madly in love, Laslow knew that he wanted to marry them. Sure, there would always be beautiful women, but there would only ever be his lover.
Handsome ninjas with bright red hair and a scarred eye were a rarity, after all.
Laslow could only really compare his love life to his parents’, which was by all means a very happy marriage. He remembered his father doting on his mother, the way they would spend hours just trying to catch a kiss from each other. Even when he traveled through time—a feat few could say they’ve done—he found that they were just as affectionate and loving in the past. Perhaps more so, with the knowledge that they had a child. He remembered his father spinning his dear mom around before pulling them all into a big group hug; to this day, Laslow swore that it just so happened to be raining that particular day because he absolutely did not cry. Regardless, he couldn’t deny that they were a devoted and tender couple.
Not so much with Saizo. It’s not like he didn’t love him; he was the one who asked him out and spelled out very clearly that he was infatuated with him when Laslow was too confused over his own feelings to figure it out. He just… wasn’t affectionate, a theory Kagero more than happily confirmed. Nor did he pull back with his comments. Although Laslow had gotten rid of the title ‘Fool’, Saizo often pinched the bridge of his nose and murmured some prayer under his breath whenever Laslow got caught in some trouble. He was fine with the flirting, thank the Gods. But not quite happy when the flirting ended up getting Laslow tied to a tree with his coinpurse gone. He was a sour lover, there was no argument there.
But if anything, that just made Laslow treasure the sweet moments even more. The light kisses in the morning, his hand on Laslow’s during the night when the day’s work was done and both were exhausted. He had never admitted to Saizo, but he had woken up more than once to the man running his fingers through his hair, a delicate touch for such a rugged man.
Laslow was head over heels for him, there was no doubt about it. It had been clear before they had started dating and it was even more evident now. Selena had teased him about marriage more than once and it was certainly something Laslow had given thought to. He… he honestly wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. To wake up every morning with him by his side, pressing soft kisses against his lips, and sleeping with their legs tangled up together, in each other's arms... Yes, he would very much like that.
And that was the problem at hand.
Laslow hadn’t come here to get married! Maybe win some lovely ladies’ hearts, sure, but not marriage! None of them were really here to get married and yet, look at them now. Laslow had met the love of his life, Odin was flirting with Niles every hour of the day, and he was highly suspicious over how long it took for Oboro to find… whatever it was in Selena’s room. There had always been a chance of them finding someone and being fond of them, but…. Well, they hadn’t considered the consequences until it finally happened.
He didn’t even know where to start—for Gods’ sakes, he was still called Laslow! Sure, they had to be in disguise, or whatever. At some point, however, Saizo would have to learn the truth. And Laslow wanted to tell him, truly. He had managed to tell him bits and pieces about his mother, about his friends, and his birthplace. But that wouldn’t be enough.
Evidently, considering how long it took for Laslow to realize his own feelings for Saizo, it would take him even longer to come out and tell him everything. He tried, whenever he got the chance. But of course, every time Saizo looked up at him, expecting for him to continue, Laslow just brushed it off and told him some useless fact about himself (he was sure he had told him the whole ‘scared of flying insects’ thing twice by now).
This night, Laslow had made three attempts. The first ended with him talking about something a friend did once, the second with Laslow talking about what he had eaten for dinner, and the third had him going on yet another tangent on how flying insects should be eradicated from this planet. Saizo sat on the floor the entire time, sharpening his weapon as Laslow talked. Laslow wished he wasn’t facing his back, but being on his bed made him less nervous. Besides, Saizo’s bed was extremely comfortable; just one of many reasons why Laslow was a permanent resident of Saizo’s room.
“Mozu still insists that every insect has its place in this world but she gives them more credit than they deserve. I don't believe beetles belong, that's for sure,” Laslow rambled on, his feelings about insects sincere but still not quite the topic he wanted to discuss. Saizo didn’t seem to mind, merely letting a meager ‘hmpf’. He continued sharpening his shurikens, the sound of metal hitting metal bouncing across the room. The silence was unbearable; it was the only reason why Laslow gave the topic another try. “Y’know, Saizo, I… there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Saizo stopped, for the fourth time. Now, the room was completely silent and suddenly, Laslow found himself regretting even speaking up. The man wasn’t even looking at him directly, but he knew he must have had some kinda, serious ninja-man look on his face. Laslow would like to think himself a smooth, cool and collected individual, but he found himself feeling so much… worry and hesitation over even bringing this up, that he gave up so easily. “I, um…. Dinner today was a little lackluster today, don’t you think?” Laslow smiled, a smile seen so many times before, never truly sincere. A smile he had perfected, really. “I expected something with more of a hidden taste from Lord Leo, but I can’t say there was anything special to—“
“Laslow.”
Saizo’s tone was filled with exasperation, but Laslow could note the hint of concern in his voice. He stayed quiet, watching Saizo put away his weapons in his chest before making his way to their bed. He had already put his nightwear on but he always waited until he was laying down in bed before taking his mask off. This time, however, Saizo took off his mask immediately and set it aside for tomorrow. He didn’t lay down in bed but instead sat next to Laslow, eyebrows furrowed, eyes--err, eye staring right through him, with a mouth with no mask and thus very accessible to Laslow.
Honestly, it was times like theses Laslow considered himself a very lucky man. Saizo’s near-perfect looks almost made him forget they were going to have a serious conversation.
Thankfully, Saizo hadn’t forgotten. “I don’t know what it is troubling you, but you’ve been avoiding it for a week now. By the time you will actually bring it up, it’ll be too late.” Saizo’s voice was strict and to-the-point, but Laslow had known him long enough to tell he was worried. Considering how much Laslow had dodged the topic, he couldn’t blame him. “I… may not be the most understanding,” Saizo continued. “But please. Whatever it is on your mind, you can tell me.”
Laslow wasn’t too sure what had caused him to break: the utter sincerity of Saizo’s words, how he could tell he was worried. Or the fact that Saizo took his hand and squeezed it tightly, to comfort him. This… man was just so stupidly affectionate when he could be, and it was so unfair! How could Laslow feel unsure and worried when Saizo was just… perfect?
“I want to be with you forever.”
Now, Laslow’s way of talking, that was less than perfect. He was just so caught up in the moment and blurted out the only thing that he could think of. Which was kinda close to his original subject… Kinda. Definitely needed to think before speaking but what’s done was done.
And all Laslow could do was just dig an even deeper hole. “That’s—that’s not what I wanted to tell you!” Laslow quickly corrected himself, face beet red at his mistake. The only solace he found was that Saizo was just as flustered. He saw that pink on his cheeks. “Not that I don’t feel that way! Because I do! I very much do! That’s just, not what I wanted to talk about… Well, I mean, it’s related to it, but not exactly, you know? Except you don’t know, because—ugh….”
Laslow stopped himself before Saizo got the chance to, now even more embarrassed and frustrated with himself. But now that he had stopped, Laslow took the chance to collect his nerves and pick his words carefully. If nothing else, he got his feelings out in the open. “I… Listen, Saizo. When this war is done, and Hoshido and Nohr make peace with each other, what will you do?” Little steps. One matter at a time. If he got an answer from Saizo, at least he would feel better asking him more questions. “I know, I know, we aren’t even married yet, that’s not something to worry about now. But… it is something we should consider. Even if things will change, an answer would be nice.”
Saizo stayed quiet, which wasn’t really a good sign. At all. The only good thing about being quiet was that Saizo was giving it some thought—and that didn’t make him feel any better… But Saizo didn’t pull his hand away, his thumb running across Laslow’s knuckles. After what seemed like eternity, he spoke up. “What will you do?”
… Jerk.
Laslow was highly tempted to deflect the question back, but that wouldn’t get them anywhere, would it? So Laslow could only let out an annoyed huff before giving his question (his own question) some thought. “... I would like to go back home.
“I’m tired of fighting. Wars are a great opportunity to meet lovely maidens and all, but, I think I’m done being a soldier.” Laslow smiled as he spoke, but it wasn't a fake smile and it wasn't a genuine one; there was a hint of sadness hidden in it. “I would… like to go back home, to my mother and father—introduce you to them. They’ll take a liking to you instantly. And my friends, I think they’ll be surprised I managed to find someone like you, but they’ll be happy. I’m sure my father would help me find work but I think I might follow in mother’s footsteps. Travel around the world, dance until my feet hurt, see famous sights and all. War is a good way to meet ladies, but traveling lets me meet even more, without having to worry about going back to barracks or patching up wounds, or...”
Laslow’s voice trailed off and even his smile, as somber as it was, disappeared. He was more homesick than he would like and just talking about going back, once everything was said and done, worsened his mood. He was happy here, with Lord Xander and Peri, and Saizo, Gods, he couldn’t imagine not having Saizo in his life anymore. He by no means regretted this entire trip, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t miss home. Because he most certainly did.
Saizo squeezed his hand once more, pulling Laslow away from his thoughts. Here he was, thinking about going back home, and he hadn’t even considered Saizo’s input. It was a decision they had to make together, now more than ever.
“I… didn’t plan on ‘retiring’ after the war was over,” Saizo admitted, softly, as if he was almost afraid of Laslow’s reaction. “Although it must be said that I never planned on entering a relationship with someone such as the likes of you. But no, from the beginning, I had decided that I would continue my duties with Lord Ryoma. My clan, as well, has great demands from me—and Kaze may be present, but he is not prepared for the responsibility. I didn’t quite bother with the idea of entering another relationship… But then, I fell for you despite your lack common sense and dignity, and I had to make some adjustments.” Despite Saizo’s thoughtful expression and not-so subtle jabs at him, Laslow noted just the tiniest bit of a smile behind his voice. “I assumed you would return to Nohr under Prince Xander’s rule, so I had expected to have this talk at some point. I did not expect you to resign from your duties and… want to take me to your home.”
Saizo stopped himself just for a minute, but it felt like an entire hour for Laslow, just waiting for the man to continue. He could straight out reject Laslow’s offer, but it was better to get an answer than hesitation. But, he continued. “I… would not mind meeting your parents. I’m quite honored that you want me to. The idea is not unpleasant.” He paused once more, but this time, there was a smile on Saizo’s lips. “Perhaps we could, find some time to do that after the war? It’s too soon to make those decisions, but when all of this is done, we may go to your family and travel. I’m sure if I voiced my concerns to Kagero or Lord Ryoma, they would insist on me going with you. My clan is a different matter entirely, but it is not like you could produce an heir for me. Although there would always be the issue of finding a suitable replacement for my position, one that would take it seriously. I don’t believe the others would wish to be removed from their liege—shame, since Subaki has potential… Hana as well, but neither will leave Lady Sakura's side. Perhaps Reina or Orochi could take up the mantle, as Lord Ryoma would be ruler soon enough— “
“Saizo.” The look on Saizo’s face earned a snort from Laslow; the man had been so caught up rambling and planning so far ahead in the future, Laslow feared he would decide at once, if he didn’t go on for the rest of the night, anyways. He knew that Saizo was taking it seriously but watching him go about it, as if they were going to do it tomorrow, was… well, it had Laslow’s heart fluttering and his cheeks darkened. “Heh, I worry too much and you plan too much. I’m glad to know that if we ever get accused of murder, then you are ready with an escape plan. Maybe stay in a nice tropical island, so it's a vacation and a hideout.”
His lover found his example less than amusing, from the way the man huffed and furrowed his eyebrows with extreme stern-ness at him. But Laslow was used to it and gave Saizo a quick peck on the cheek to remedy that. His secret weapon.
“We’ll take it slow,” he said with a chipper grin, quite the contrast to Saizo’s pout (not frown; Laslow’s kisses always turned his frowns to pouts). “You haven’t even proposed to me yet! We should reach that step first, makes our relationship much more serious. But your plan is good place to start. I miss my home, truly… But I feel like I will miss you more, if we are apart for more than a month.”
Saizo squinted his eye. “If I did not know you better, I would have assumed your worry was a façade,” he mumbled. “Just mere minutes ago, you were nervous about bringing this subject up. And now, here you are, teasing me over being prepared for anything. A natural thing to do.”
“It’s quaint,” Laslow insisted, with a giddy chuckle. There were still some things left unsaid—for instance, the location of his birthplace was something they really needed to touch upon at some point. But one step at a time. Learning that Saizo was willing to go through at least one step, just so they could stay together… it was enough for now.
And if it came down to it and Saizo wished to remain in this world, then Laslow could see himself staying.
Saizo frowned again at Laslow’s teasing, but there was a bit of a playful look in his good-eye as he wrapped an arm around his waist. “And what is this about me proposing to you? I’m sure you already have our wedding day thoroughly planned in your head. You are better at romance than I am, anyways.”
“And you know I ramble!” Laslow exclaimed before sighing exasperatedly. “It took me weeks just to work up the nerve to talk to you about this. Me, asking you for your hand in holy matrimony? You’ll have white hair and wrinkles by the time I propose.”
At that, Saizo could only chuckle lightly, while he gently pushed Laslow to lay on the bed. A position he had no qualms with. “I was the one to ask you out,” he pointed out, a smile on his lips as he hovered above Laslow. “It’s your turn to take the initiative. It’ll be a pleasant surprise for me when you do propose.”
Laslow could only laugh as he stared up Saizo, his stomach no longer filled with knots and unease but instead with butterflies and giddiness. His worry wasn’t for naught, but he felt more sure about his future than he was earlier that day. “You’re ridiculous,” he replied. But before Saizo could make any type of retort, Laslow had wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss, ending their argument instantly.
From the way Saizo hummed, he didn’t have any qualms over it. He deepened the kiss without a second’s hesitation, hands trailing down Laslow’s side. The kiss was slow, heated but neither wanted to rush things. Laslow didn’t, at least. Laying down in his lover’s bed, kissing the man in question with genuine passion and a pounding heart… He wished he could do this forever. He wanted to.
His face was flushed and he was gasping for air by the time they pulled away. He stared up at Saizo, equally breathless but just as eager to go back to kissing. The small moment of peace let Laslow marvel at the situation. He had joked about who would propose first, but it was moments like these were Laslow was sure, more than ever, that he adored this man. It was hard to believe that he had come this far, but he had. Saizo was his. Saizo…. Saizo loved him.
“Inigo.”
Saizo had waited until he regained his breath before continuing their little make-out session. But when Laslow spoke up, all he could do was stare. Confused. “What?”
“Inigo,” Laslow repeated. The look on Saizo’s face had made him unsure, but he went with it. “My… my name. It’s, Inigo.”
He watched Saizo’s face carefully, throat suddenly dry and his heart beating not from passion but worry and fear. Saizo was a smart man, he knew ‘Laslow’ wasn’t his real name. That it was just one more secret he was keeping from him. It was a matter of how well he would take it that scared him. But Saizo deserved to know it. Inigo wanted him to know he trusted him completely.
There would be questions and some of them would have answers. Some wouldn’t, at least not for now. Watching Saizo think it over, Inigo could only wait for some question, or some accusation, or… something, he didn’t know. Something that just had him nervous for his response.
But Saizo didn’t ask him anything. It took some time, but the man smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek. “Inigo,” Saizo repeated and it had Inigo nearly melt, just from hearing him say his name, his real name. “I like it. I expect this is only for private conversations, but I will use it as often as I can.”
That confirmed it. Saizo was perfect. “You could use some practice on it,” Inigo teased, nonetheless smiling with pure glee. “You say it weird. If I want to hear you say my name, I would like for you to say it properly. I’d say we can start right now, but I would like to practice your kissing instead.”
Saizo scoffed, but from the way his lips brushed against Inigo’s jaw and his hands trailed down to his hips, he didn’t seem to oppose the idea.