Chapter Text
hey
hope you're having a good morning with Chim
it's fine, yeah
say hi from me
I already did
you're amazing
I know 😉
😘
you should see the list of things he wants to do today
and I do mean a literal list
oh yeah?
It's got 12 things on it
I guess he's just trying to make the most of today
you'd think we never hang out
I mean…..
what?
outside of work..... you don't really hang out much
yes we do
no you don’t
I'm excluding any events where the whole team is involved
I'm talking about just you and Chim
I think it's great that you're getting this time together
well, what about every family dinner when you and Maddie are being all secret squirrel? I hang out heaps with Chimney then
that totally counts
wellll idk
but also wtf is secret squirrel??
we do not do that
🙄
we don’t!
uh huh
I mean, okay, I don't know what it means
but I'm pretty sure we don't do it
this is my 'believing you' face
I love that face
😍
you love all my faces
you're just super weak for me, admit it
baby you light up my world like nobody else 🎵
I am super weak for you
it’s true
I know it is
I freely admit it
anyway
first thing on Chimney's list? "hit Eddie up for parenting advice”
that's an excellent list item
................
you probably won't agree with how I handled it then
omg what did you do
I told him to ask Hen instead
😅
Eddieeeeeee
what?
you're a great father
yeah, but not for kids Jee's age!
pft
I was barely around when Chris was that young
be nice
to chim and to yourself
yes sir
I love it when you call me sir 😏
I know
stop distracting me
go pay attention to chimney
oh? what are you doing?
I am!
housework, duh
boring
be more interesting, buck
??? moree??? interesting????
you heard me
you'll be glad when you get home to a sparkling house
that’s true. I will
although, if we do everything Chim's got planned, it might be tomorrow before I get home 😅
nah it won’t
we’ll see
I'll definitely come and rescue you if it ends up taking that long
good. I might need it
😘
I'd rescue you any day
Mmmm
by throwing me over your shoulder?
if you like 😏
I do like
😁
okay, 2nd thing on Chimney's list is "brunch”
but
he wants to go to a place that's 40 minutes away 👀
that sounds awesome!
brunch is great
FORTY MINUTES?
sure
yeah, but that's soooo far to go just for waffles!
get more than waffles then
😒
😇
He's so excited, I can't bear to tell him no
it’ll be fun
better be the best waffles in the freaking state though
let me know
if they're good enough maybe we'll have to go there together some time
..............
maybe
I'll let you know when we get there
okay
Chimney's singing along to the radio
he wants me to sing with him, but "have a sing-song" is not on the list
you could add it
I'm having a bit of a "sing-song" myself tbh 😅
oooh, what are you singing?
um
no judgement okay
of course not 🧡
I'm singing to one direction
.....................
you have to move out
YOU PROMISED NO JUDGEMENT
😅
okay okay. what song?
it’s not just one
ohhhh dear
it's the up all night album
that means nothing to me
I know
it has "what makes you beautiful" on it
ohhh, right
that song
I know that one
I thought you would
when this album finishes I'm gonna be listening to taylor swift
in case you were wondering 😉
I was not, but I am glad to know you're getting all of this out of your system while I'm not there
lol
I love you
I love you too
🥰
Well, Chimney's listening to Fall Out Boy
I said I was surprised he even knows them and he told me I was being ageist 😅
LOL
Apparently he makes a point of keeping up with bands from Chicago, idk
........... not gonna tell him this was my favourite band during those angsty teenage years 😬
he’ll make me sing
save that for when you're with me again 😏
what, the singing? or listening to Fall Out Boy?
both
are you having fun?
yeah
good
let me know how brunch goes, okay?
I'm gonna put the phone down so I can get some more stuff done
oh, fine. leave me then
😘
you’ll be okay
................ Chimney must have superpowers
because he made me start singing
😂
it's not my fault!
It's this song! It's impossible not to sing along
which song?
do you really want to know?
yeah
okay
it's called "headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet”
you asked
oh yeah
great song
you've made me change my playlist
oh, really?
yeah
now we're both listening to fall out boy 😊
well, that’s kinda nice
I do have to go though
I need to concentrate
okay
I love you
I love you too
have fun
thanks
*
omg eddie
I completely forgot to tell you
Chris called me "dad" the other day!!!
you made me choke on my waffles
SORRY!!!
that's great buck!
are you okay?
safe?
throat clear?
I’m fine
can you breathe?
yes
oh phew
I’m not you 😉
not funny 😒
sorry
anyway
yeah
Chris called me dad 😭❤️
that’s wonderful
it's kind of a blur because I got really emotional
oh, sweetheart
but I ended up buying him a new lego set
......... what
so if you see the new lego transformer and wonder where it came from, that was me 😅
I see
I just love him so much
I know you do 🧡
🥰
so
how’re the waffles?
… incredible
worth the drive, then? 😏
best waffles I've ever had. better even than Bobby’s
👀
are you sure?
mhm
…..
wow
we definitely have to go together some time
yeah
I need to try these incredible waffles
you really do
Chimney is so smug rn
lol
how is he btw?
is he behaving?
he’s not being weird?
well, honestly ... he is a bit odd
odder than usual, anyway
oh that’s weird
is he also eating waffles?
or did he order something else?
he got pancakes
nice
pancakes are good
we traded a bit
the pancakes are also fantastic
glad to hear it
but yeah, he keeps checking his list and is saying some strange things
huh
it's probably just something to do with the position of the moon atm
it makes people act weird
that is not a thing buck
yes it is
no, it is not
yes, it is
🙄
anyway
I wouldn’t worry about it
do you know what he's got planned for after brunch?
yep
You’ll never guess
what?
are you ready for this?
…. yes?
just tell me
craft fair. at a local goat farm.
what????
that sounds so fun 😭
of course you think so, lol
is that seriously what you're doing next??
apparently so
ugh
And soon, based on the way Chimney just gulped his coffee 👀
I’m so jealous
I'll bring you some soap
😍
you’re the best
thank you
I wish I could join you
please have lots of fun for me
I will
I will bring many presents
🥰
are you on your way there now?
almost
I refused to burn my mouth on the coffee, and now Chimney's tapping his foot while he waits for me to finish
😅
tell him to relax
there's no need to rush
........... so, I told him you said that
you don't want to know what he said back
what?
what did he say?
tell me
something rude
eddie tell me what he said
…..
I need to know
the exact words
do I need to call him?
he said "tell buck to fuck off, I'm on a mission today”
………….
hm
I said it was rude
okay
it's also kinda weird, right?
no?
why is it weird?
well, why is he on a mission?
that’s just how he is
am I the mission?
maybe the list is the mission
maybe
don't worry about it
I wasn’t worried
okay
good
continue to be worry free
okay baby
😘
alright, we're on the move
have fun!
thanks
enjoy the housework
I will
💛
🧡
*
this goat farm is amazing
look at this little face
img_56 (Eddie's smiling face pressed near to the face of a black and white baby goat)
OMG 😍
It's called Tickles
I wish I was there with you 😭
I wish you were too 🧡
I'm glad you're having fun though
It’s so fun
the craft fair is super impressive
and you're looking very gorgeous if I may say so 😏
😊
thanks mi amor
............. Tickles just tried to eat my hair
😂
cuuuute
img_57 (bemused Eddie with ridiculously sticky-up hair)
😍
so gorgeous
awww, ty
what kinda crafts do they have?
everything
you name it, I'm pretty sure it's here
damn
what?
how am I supposed to follow that 😅
I can't list everything, there's way too much
but there's wool things, and body things, candles, soaps, farm produce, paintings, jewellery ….
do you know how long the fair's gonna be on for?
Apparently it's on every fourth weekend
amazing
we're going back together then
I can introduce you to Tickles 🥰
you can!!!
Tickles has a green earring and a purple collar
very fashionable, Tickles!!
do you think I'd look good with an earring?
………..
yeah
I kinda do
oh yeah? 😏
mhm
maybe I'll have to get one some day….
maybe
........... if I bought some goat's cheese, will it still be good by the time I get home?
hold on let me check
Tickles is nibbling on my shirt
img_58 (Tickles' face, soft goaty lips closed on the hem of Eddie's dark shirt)
as long as you get the cheese into a fridge in about an hour, hour and a half, it should be fine
hm
Tickles is soooo cuuuuute
Chimney says we will not be back by then
we'll just have to get the cheese when we go back together then
sure
I might get some honey though
sounds amazing
it's from a nearby apiary
local honey is the best
I hope Chimney's not taking me for a tour there next 😅
hey, that could be fun!
............
no?
it's bees, Buck
and?
bees are not fun
bees are cute
you could see their little honeycomb designs
I have nothing against bees
but I also don't need to be around thousands of them
you're not allergic, are you?
I don’t know
I've never been stung
and I want to keep it that way
fair point
omg, Chimney is being so pedantic about his list of things
he told me to stop flirting with Tickles 'cause it's time for our next listed activity 🙄
wow
we're going to a mystery maze
hold on a sec
what?
you were FLIRTING with Tickles?
🙄
chimney's words, not mine
I thought you loved me 😭
I do
are you seriously jealous of a GOAT?
no…
only a little 😅
you’re so cute
😊
say bye to Tickles
BYE TICKLES
img_59 (Eddie kissing Tickles's fluffy cheek while the goatling brays)
so adorable
we're definitely going back together
I want to adopt Tickles
.............
can we??
Yeah
omg
It's like a subscription thing. We pay a small monthly contribution and in return, when Tickles is grown up, we get milk from her
oh
right
the milk
Buck
we can't have a goat live with us
I got so excited 😭
although, that would save a lot of time mowing the lawn
SEE!!
it’s a good idea!
We'd need to check the guidelines. Pretty sure we're not regioned for goats as pets
lame
...... I adopted her
without even asking me?
Chimney's fizzing at the mouth 'cause I've put his mission behind schedule
I'm so fucking proud
Thanks baby
LOL get rekt chimney
😂
alright, he actually physically dragged me back to the car
mystery maze here we come, apparently
all good
I gotta go anyway
the timer’s going off
oh, okay
have fun in the maze
thanks
What're you timing?
what?
You said the timer was going off
oh
yeah
um
for how long we're chatting
.....................
cause I need to get back to housework
excuse me?
can't just stand around all day
WHAT
You're putting ME on a TIMER?
I just have a lot of work to do!
no I'm putting ME on a timer
???
How much work can you possibly have to do
you know
I live there too, I know the house doesn't need a spring clean yet
laundry and vacuuming
I'm just being thorough
.......... fine
you better get back to it then
let me know when our next scheduled talk time is
omg you can talk to me whenever you want
it wasn't a timer for our conversation okay it was more just a timer for like, this is when I need to do the next thing
............. okay
and I have now started the next thing
so it’s fine
sounds weird, but alright
it’s not weird
you’re weird
YOU’RE weird
............. so is Chimney
he's checking his list and muttering
he does that sometimes
it’s normal
enjoy the maze
okay
I’ll check in soon
okay
love you
love you too baby 🧡
*
hey, sorry I didn't check in for a while, we weren't allowed to use our phones in the maze
hey!
was it fun?
it was
there were puzzles along the way that we had to solve to give us clues on how to get through
oh wow
sounds like heaps of fun
it was
But Chimney picked the hardest path
We didn't find the way through
oh no
did you get lost?
yep
one of the staff had to come and let us out after our hour was up
oh well
what are you off to do now?
now we're having lunch at a book cafe
they're having a live reading
............
it's like a club, I think? a whole stack of people reading out poems and short stories
chimney knows he's not the one dating you, right???
Idk, maybe I'm trading up 😉
🙄
just really sounds like he's going ABOVE and BEYOND his friendly duties
well, it's like you said
we rarely have quality time. I think he's just trying to maximise the day
yeah, sure
after lunch he wants to look around at the books. there's a lot of nice-looking vintage ones
I've never seen the point of vintage books
I'm sure you haven't
why have something old when you could have something new?
but I reckon Chris would get a kick out of this place
the old ones have character, Buck
and probably mould
🙄
sorry 😅
I'm glad you have chimney to look at old books with
thank you
they're probably all from his birth year
😅
😜
He's packed the day with so many things
I'm a little tired
do you need a break?
is there somewhere you can sit down?
Yeah, we're at a table
okay
try and just rest for a bit then
Part of me just wants to come home tbh
you can’t
what
why not?
not yet
because you haven't finished chimney's list
ugh, are you serious?
you said he was really excited about it
do you wanna disappoint him by ducking out early?
of course not
well then
that’s settled
I won't be good for anything by the time this day is done
don’t say that
just don't let chimney drag you around so fast
easier said than done
I'll message him
he's got an alarm set on his phone for how long we're allowed to look at books before our next adventure
what did you say to Chimney?
I told him to go easy on you
............ he's treating me like a child now
he literally put the back of his hand against my forehead to check if I was feeling okay
uggghhh
he's so frustrating
why the hell did I pick him
……….
what?
um
for Maddie
I can't believe I let him get with my sister
he's so annoying
................... okayyyy
I don't know that you had much to do with that, tbh
ha, you're probably right
Pretty sure Maddie picked him regardless of your opinion
yeah
she's pretty strong willed
she's a wonderful woman
she is
... some of these writer club people are really talented
yeah?
this one poem was super sad and Chimney's gone all teary
aw
take a photo
😉
already did 😉
this is why I love you
img_60 (Chimney's crumpled face, a little blurry and at an odd angle, eyes bright with unshed tears)
fantastic
how’re you going?
good!
great
just chilling, you know
oh, so you've finished your attack on the housework then?
oh
no
I meant I'm just chilling with the vacuum cleaner
..............................
just chilling
and cleaning
you're being weird
even for you
no I’m not
you definitely are
I'm definitely not
what's weird about housework?
I'd argue that you have the ability to weirdify anything
well
maybe that's just a talent then
and you should be impressed
sure buck
very impressed
alright, apparently it's time to browse, and I'm on the clock, so
good luck
thanks
😘
*
hey
how're you going?
hi
alright
Chimney sure knows how to wear a guy out
😬
we're now on item 8: hiking scavenger hunt
wtf
it's like a pre-set trail, and they give you a list of things to find
Chris is gonna love the stones and feathers I've collected
well, that sounds cool at least
it is
but the trail is also 2.5 miles and half uphill
which sure, is easy enough usually
I was gonna say that's not too bad…
but after everything else we've done so far, I'm just feeling tired
I’m sorry
why're you sorry?
I didn't know he was gonna make you do all this
of course you didn't
I wish I could rescue you
it’s okay
Surely we must be coming home soon
you’d better not
rude
why not?
no, I just mean…
um
I spilled…
the pipe
............ what
the bathroom is a mess
but I'm fixing it
what are you talking about?
I broke a pipe
and there's water everywhere
what? HOW?
while I was cleaning
idk
it just happened
don't worry about it
it'll be good as new by tonight I promise
How the hell could you break a pipe while cleaning?
I'll tell Chimney we need to get back so I can help you fix it
NO
DO NOT
I'll fix it myself!!
do you know how?
yes!
you don't even know how you managed to break it
I was cleaning the pipe
....................... what???
you know what I don't actually have to explain myself to you
I'm handling it
just focus on having fun with chimney
How am I supposed to do that when you've FLOODED the house??
IT'S FINE
oh, hey, I just found an egg shell
that's great eddie
what colour is it?
it's all speckledy
awesome
anyway
are you sure you don't want me to come home and help?
I'm positive
…fine
let me know if you need help
I'd rather not be having to deal with it at midnight
trust me I've got everything under control
okay
I trust you
good
I love you
I love you too
*
OMG BUCK CHIMNEY IS AN IDIOT
why?
what's wrong?
what happened?
what did he say?
you won't believe where he's taken me
where??
I don't think you're ready for this
sit down
….. okay
put the vacuum cleaner down
did he take you to a strip club?
… no
okay
go on
but there is a naked person right in front of me
WHAT
WHY?
WHO?
Idk who!
some random
THERES A RANDOM NAKED PERSON IN FROTN OF YOU???
mhm, yep
WHERE ARE YOU?
okay, are you prepared for this?
A life drawing class
but Chimney
didn't know what life drawing was
OMG
he got it mixed up with STILL LIFE
I don't even have words rn
😕
are you okay?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
walk out!
really?
yeah
just leave
okay
you've never seen Chimney so red-faced
yeah, I bet
did you escape?
we did
good
I've never been more awkward in my life
😬
dare I ask what's next on his list?
.......... apparently it's some kind of massage?
🤨
……………
he just told me I have to be relaxed and pretty for tonight
he said what
that I have to be relaxed and pretty ... for tonight
no you don’t
you don't have to be relaxed or pretty
you can be tense if you want
.......... thank you?
I mean, you can't exactly NOT be pretty
but you don't have to do anything special
you could come home covered in goat fur for all I care
why would I care?
I don't care
... sounds like you do care
nope
couldn't care less
Chimney's really pushing the angle. After the massage he wants to take me SUIT shopping
he's what??
you don't need to go suit shopping!!
I'm gonna text him
Is there something special about tonight that I'm supposed to know about?
It's not chimney's birthday, is it?
no
I don't know about anything special happening tonight
do you?
no
okay
why do I need to come home in a new suit?
you don’t
I told you
you can come home in goat fur
well, tell Chimney that
'cause he's being very insistent
I'm texting him
Whatever you said seems to have worked
good
he looked like he was gonna have a fit, though
😬
he looks stressed
maybe it's time to just come home
no
just
what's next on the list?
after the massage and suit shopping?
yeah
ice cream
ice cream??
yep
do you feel like ice cream?
Always
but Chimney's insisting we do the massage first. he looks so frazzled I don't dare argue with him
he clearly needs it
maybe the massage will help him
yeah
I think I can see the cogs moving inside his punctured brain
can't hurt, I guess
😅
alright, so he's said we'll go get these whatever massages and then we'll go get ice cream at the beach
that sounds nice
do that
okay
fine
are you okay?
yeah
I miss you
looking forward to coming home
to my immaculate if flooded house
💛
it's not flooded
you said it was
did I?
… yes
fuck
um
well
it's not flooded anymore?
so you fixed the pipe?
yep
well done
thanks
okay
alright, we're at the spa
have a good massage
yeah
I'll check in again soon
👍
talk to you soon x
*
hey babe
did you get Chris from school okay?
hey!
yep
all good
he’s here
excellent
give him a hug from me
👍
I'm hoping to be home soon
what?
how soon?
as soon as possible
did something happen?
no?
so you got through the whole list already??
it's just been a big day and I'm ready to come home
ugh, yeah.
but you can't come home yet
I need another hour
excuse me??
What for?
um
what are you doing?
nothing
what's going on?
nothing
where are you now?
we're at the beach still
okay
I'm trying to hurry chimney up, but he's being super sketchy
why rush?
I bet the beach is beautiful right now
it is
but I'm tired and sticky and covered in sand and I want to come home and have a shower and fall asleep on the couch with my head in your lap, okay?
you're sticky?
from the massage oil
oh
well
can you go back to chimney's and shower there?
............ why?
because
our shower's broken
........... what?
you said you fixed the pipes, Buck
yeah
this is a separate issue
😒
I don't believe you
you're hiding something from me
and it's not a plumbing issue
why would I hide something from you??
that's ridiculous
I'm wondering that myself
OMG
Chimney just threw a clump of seaweed IN MY FACE
was it tasty?
I mean
that's really rude of him
why would he do that?
idk, but I'll be back after I've murdered him with sand
good luck
make sure you destroy him completely
no matter how long it takes
😘
yes sir
*
wanna see my handiwork?
sure
img_61 (Chimney looking extremely pouty and drenched head to toe in sand)
😂
nice work!
tbf, I don't look much better
I tackled him
oh no 😅
we kinda ended up in the surf 😬
lol
at least you got him
he said you owe him big time
I don't know why
probably for getting you drenched so your clothes stick to you
😉
right
are you coming home now?
.............
am I ALLOWED to?
yeah
I fixed the toilet
I mean the shower
I am very suspicious
you're up to something
sorry I guess all this housework's messed with my head a bit 😅
I'm not up to anything
uh huh
just come home
sure
............ Chimney said we have to pay to have his car detailed
tell chimney to shut up and just drive
he's pretending to be pouty, but really he's grinning
how long until you get here, do you think?
20 mins?
okay
the traffic's pretty good
great
can't wait to see you
oh really?
yeah
I missed you today
did you?
I missed you too 🧡
😘
I love you
I can't wait to jump in the shower
I have sand EVERYWHERE
and I'm kinda cold now. my clothes are damp
not long now
idk why Chimney wanted to do a week's worth of things in a single day
I feel like I could skip dinner and go straight to bed
are you really that tired?
sorta
well, I'll look after you once you get here
I promise
you're the best
😊
want me to get takeaway on the way home?
nah, I've got dinner covered
what is it?
delicious
🙄
😇
I'm sure it will be
Chris is just finishing his homework
good on him
text me when you're pulling up?
sure
awesome
I'll see you soon 🥰
you will
💛
*
we've just turned onto the street
great!
I'll meet you at the door
............ okay
why?
cause I love you
I'm suspicious again
why is Chimney grinning so much?
what is going on?
just come here
I'll explain in person
just tell me now!
🙂
no
buuuuuuck
fine
but all this weirdness better be worth it
it will