Chapter Text
Buck's phone was ringing off the hook, but he hung up on every call.
He had stormed out of the station in quite a huff, yelling at everyone for the way they had been treating him, and then leaving as quickly as he had came. Buck knew he was going to face the consequences for it later. It was that horrible part of life that he could never seem to shake. People hurt him, but when he finally snaps at their anger, he is the one to blame for breaking. All their past hurtful actions towards him are instantly forgotten the second he throws an insult. And he is suddenly the enemy. It felt like there was a large hole in his heart, he had given these people everything, and instead they turned against him for reasons against his control. They would never truly understand his side, because they were too stubborn to admit that they were wrong. They will go on with their lives, happy and unaffected, convincing themselves that what they did was okay, and that Buck was to blame. And Buck was left to pick up the shattered pieces of his heart, and try to move on as if he hadn't been stabbed in the back by those he thought would protect it.
They had been calling him nonstop since he left, probably to tell him that he was fired, and that they didn't care how many lawsuits he filed, he was never getting his job back. He felt numb, mostly surprised at himself for his outburst. He wasn't usually the fighting type, sure he knew how to yell when he needed to, but he was generally more laid back when it came to the people he loved. Even when Bobby had told him that he was the reason for Buck's inability to return to work, Buck hadn't yelled, he just walked away.
He groaned, rolling over and burying himself deeper into the welcoming arms of his mattress, allowing his eyes to drift closed. Only to be abruptly woken about an hour later by the sound of his door shutting. Buck froze, not daring to move to reveal the fact that he was awake. He kept his eyes firmly shut and tried to mentally work out who was in his loft. He listened to the sound of their footsteps, trying to judge the weight of the noise and the way the person moved around. He had gotten quite good at identifying people based on their footsteps alone. It was a habit he picked up when he was a child, and it had carried over to his time at the 118, listening to see who had entered the bunk room. He was a bit out of practice however, as he had absolutely no idea who it was.
"Buck?" It was Maddie. Buck felt a wave of relief sweep over him at his sisters gentle voice. He didn't know where Maddie stood with everything that had been going on, but he was just thankful it wasn't a 118 member.
"Maddie?" Buck called back, his voice slightly hoarse from either yelling or crying, he didn't know which. Probably both to be honest.
Maddie walked up the steps and her eyes landed on Buck. He was sitting upright in his bed, his eyes slightly red and puffy. He had obviously been crying. She also took in the fact that he was sitting against the headboard of his bedframe, the blankets pulled up around him like a shield, his body language resembling something of a wounded animal, shrinking back and making himself seem so small. It was an impressive feat considering Buck was a massive guy.
"Oh Evan," Maddie sighed. She only called him by his real name when things were serious. She didn't waste another moment, quickly closing the distance between them by sitting on the bed beside him, pulling him close. Buck allowed it, melting into Maddie's embrace, his head resting on her chest as Maddie's chin settled on top of his unruly curls. "I've got you now."
That was all it took for the tears to start forming in Buck's eyes again. He didn't sob, he was too tired for that, he simply let them slip down his face silently as he tried to get as close to Maddie as possible. Maddie's hand ran up and down his back soothingly, the other brushed through his hair. She hummed quietly to fill the silence.
"What did they do to you?" She whispered to him, her voice full of worry rather than an accusation.
"I think you mean what did I do to them?" Buck said, with a self-depreciating laugh.
"No, I mean what did they do to you?" Maddie said firmly, squeezing him tight "I know there's more to this lawsuit story that what Chimney has told me, and I haven't seen you in a while." She said this last part a little apologetically, Maddie had been the only person to call and text Buck frequently, but she had been very busy at dispatch and hadn't had the time to come visit him. Of course, Buck didn't blame her in the slightest, usually when this happened he would go visit her during he lunch break, which he failed to do. So therefore, not her fault.
"What do you want to know?" Buck asked her, wiping his nose. He was unsure what version of the story she had been told, and how much of it.
"Why did you decide to file a lawsuit?" She asked simply, starting with the basics.
"Because I found out that Bobby was the reason I couldn't go back to the 118." Buck said truthfully, doing his best to answer Maddie's questions honestly.
"What?" Maddie gasped, sounding shocked, "What do you mean?"
"The whole time I was under the impression that it was the department and the chiefs that didn't want me to return to work because they thought I would be a liability with the blood thinners. In reality, I had been cleared by the department and all my doctors, but Bobby was worried about me still so he lied. He didn't want me to come back so fast."
Maddie was silent for a moment, processing this.
"But he never had a problem with anybody else?" She questioned.
"That's why I filed it," Buck sighed, "I didn't think it was fair Bobby was allowed to hold me back when I was physically fitter than I had ever been before. I broke records at the training academy when I got re-certified. I mean, Chimney had a literal rebar go through his head and he was back in a month, and he was stabbed and back in about two weeks. And Eddie didn't even have time off after Shannon's death. And Bobby had a relapse with alcohol but went back to work. I just... didn't think it was fair..." He trailed off, waiting for Maddie to tell him he had overreacted.
"Of course it wasn't fair!" Maddie gushed, catching Buck off guard. "I didn't know you had been cleared after the blood thinners, I was under the impression that it was the doctors holding you back."
"You and me both," Buck said with a dry laugh.
"Okay so, you filed the lawsuit, then what?" She asked him.
"I won. I was offered about 7 million. But I turned it down." Maddie stared at him in pure shock. "I didn't want money, I just wanted my job. And I got it, they made me sign a ton of waivers so that I couldn't sue them again, and they put me back with the 118..."
"But...?" Maddie probed.
"But nobody wanted me there after the lawsuit. I was man behind on every call. I wasn't allowed to eat with everyone else. I was given all of the chores for the entire station. People would say stuff to me, calling me names and all that, I never fought back though. But then today it all changed."
"What happened?" Maddie said, her eyes flashing as she began to understand the hell everyone had been putting her beloved little brother through.
"There was a pile of letters for me on the table. They all watched as I read them. They were all from people I had saved in the tsunami, they were saying thank you. I guess the letters sort of put a little fight back in me. Because before that I had been so worn out I barely spoke. I've been having nightmares about the tsunami and well, I think I might have depression." He admitted quietly. Maddie let out a wounded sort of noise and hugged him tighter.
"You saved people in the tsunami?" She said, her eyes shining with pride. Buck hadn't spoke about the tsunami with anyone. Sure, it wasn't healthy, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Maddie had stayed by his side the whole time he was in hospital, and made sure he was okay when he was discharged, but she never asked about what it was like.
"I saved Chris from the water and we were sitting on top of a flooded firetruck. That's when I saw more people getting stuck in the current. I used the firehose and tied it to a tree on the other side of the street, it went horizontally across so that the current would sweep people right into it and they could hold on. I dove in the water and pulled them out. I think it was about 30 people?" He shrugged, as if it was nothing.
"Oh Buck, you are amazing you know that?" Maddie said in a hushed voice, "Not only did you save 30 lives after being dragged underwater yourself, but you don't even seem to realise how incredible your actions were. Buck, you are a hero and I have never been prouder that you are my little brother." Maddie beamed at him.
"Thanks Mads," Buck sniffed, a fresh tear running down his soaked cheek.
"So then what happened, after the letters?" She questioned.
"Eddie asked why I had never mentioned saving people, I told him that he never asked, and I guess I kind of snapped. I was just so angry with the way I had been treated that I lost it. I yelled at them for not caring about me, for bullying me into taking a job as a fire marshal, and then making fun of me and calling me a hall monitor when I did. I yelled at them for the lawsuit, and how they refused to admit that I had a reason for filing it. I yelled at them for constantly reassuring me that I wasn't being replaced, but then taping over my name with the newbies and not even speaking to me for more than 5 seconds when I visited the station. I yelled at them for mistreating me, and making me man behind. I just yelled." Buck said, defeated. "I know I shouldn't have and I'm really sorry I did-"
"Buck." Maddie cut him off. "You had every right to yell, and I am glad that you did. Someone needed to put them in their place and give them a bit of a reality check." She paused for a moment, considering Buck's words before continuing. "They should have never made fun of you for being a fire marshal, I am absolutely appalled that they did. And taping over your name with someone else's is just plain disrespectful and unnecessary. You deserve to be mad, and if they give you a hard time for it they're gonna have to answer to me." She said, and her tone suggested she meant every word.
"Thanks Mads," Buck sniffed, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on."
"Oh Buck it's not your fault." She assured him, "I know now and that's all that matters, and i'm gonna help you okay?"
"Okay." He nodded, yawning as the exhaustion gripped him again.
"Get some rest," Maddie encouraged him, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.
Buck allowed himself to close his eyes, drifting off to sleep in the safety of his sisters arms, listening to her hum a gentle tune into the silence of his loft, filling the air with warmth and love.
"Buck, there's someone on the phone for you." Maddie's gentle voice broke through the fog in his head.
He had been zoned out, watching some discovery channel documentary on his couch. It was the next morning, and thankfully, both he and Maddie were off shift. Maddie had stayed the whole night, refusing to leave his side. After she was sure Buck was safely asleep, she had slipped out from underneath him and tidied up his incredibly messy house. The signs of her brothers misery were all over the place like blaring alarms. She wiped it all away, determined to make sure he would never have to deal with it again. She then went to sleep on his couch, waking up before he did the next morning and cooking breakfast. Buck's phone was on the counter beside her as she poured him a glass of juice and set aside his medication. It began to buzz and she answered it, not recognising the contact and wanting to make sure it wasn't some awful person trying to get through to him. Instead, the voice of a offical sounding man greeted her, introducing himself as the fire chief Alonzo, and asking to speak to Buck.
"Hello?" Buck said cautiously into the phone.
"Is this Evan Buckley?" The man asked.
"Uh yeah, that's me."
"Perfect, well Mr Buckley I am Chief Alonzo, I'm the head of all fire stations in the Los Angeles area, I was hoping for a moment of your time if that's alright with you?"
"Sure." Buck agreed, feeling his anxiety spike. Maddie seemed to sense his worry, and came and sat beside him. Buck drew the phone away from his ear and clicked a button to put it on speaker. Maddie understood at once that Buck didn't want to face this call alone. She sat by his side, a silent support for whatever was to come.
"Well, I have received multiple letters from varying sources regarding your activities over the past few weeks." The chief began.
"My- my activities?" Buck questioned worriedly.
"I have received multiple letters from members of our community who have been singing you praises for your heroic actions in the tsunami. They all speak very highly of you and claim that you risked your life, whilst off duty and injured yourself, to save their lives. I am told that you reassured them, you dove into the dangerous water multiple times to drag them out, even while you were bleeding and on blood thinners. One letter even says that you were physically shaking from exhaustion, and even saw you throwing up water, before diving back in to rescue more people. I am incredibly impressed and incredibly proud to call you a firefighter for the LAFD." Buck nearly choked at his words. He was proud?. Beside him, Maddie was glowing with pride and smiling so widely you would have thought it was Christmas.
"Wow, uh, thank you." Buck managed to get out.
Chief Alonzo seemed to suspect his shock, "I understand you may not have been expecting this call, especially in regards to the lawsuit, but I will tell you Buckley that I hold no hard feelings towards you, I understand the situation was highly complicated and that you were not treated with the amount of respect that you should have been from your peers, and for that I am sorry. But this call was not only to tell you about the letters, since I understand some were sent directly to your firehouse, so I hope you received those. I am calling today because I wish to inform you that the LAFD has decided to present you with a medal of valour for you remarkable efforts and pure bravery. Congratulations!"
Buck's eyes flew wide with surprise. Maddie, unable to keep silent after this news, let out an excited shriek of joy.
"I'm so proud of you!" She cheered, shaking his shoulders in her eagerness.
"Wow, I- uh, thank you." He said pathetically, still stunned.
Chief Alonzo laughed on the other end of the call, "you deserve it Buckley, and I want to make sure you know that, I gathered you tend to have a habit of doubting yourself and pushing your achievements under the rug. But judging by the sound of the person beside you, I am assured that there is at least one person in your life who will remind you how much you have earned this."
"Maddie Buckley, Evan's sister," Maddie introduced herself, "and don't worry, I will never make him forget it. Thank you so much for doing this for him, you have no idea how much it means to him."
"Your welcome," Chief Alonzo said, his voice betraying his large smile, even when they couldn't see him. "Now I will get in touch via email to discuss the date of your ceremony, for now, celebrate!" He encouraged, giving them a polite goodbye before hanging up.
The second he did, Maddie was on her feet, screaming and jumping around the loft.
"Medal of Valour! That's such an honour, oh I am so so proud of you!" She exclaimed, almost on the verge of tears.
Buck smiled at her "I love you Maddie. " He said softly.
She paused, her eyes actually filling with tears now as she knelt down in front of him. "I love you too Buck." She whispered, wrapping her arms around him in the tightest hug she could give.
Buck's medal of valour ceremony was to take place in two weeks. Which meant that Buck had two weeks to somehow inform his teammates about it.
Chief Alonzo had been very understanding when Buck requested that the 118 not be informed of the ceremony yet. Buck had given the all clear to invite any other official people that the Chief wanted to, but he asked that the 118 be told by himself. Of course, the Chief probably assumed Buck wanted to tell them himself as a surprise for them, but in reality, Buck didn't know how to tell them.
He was also dealing with all the other problems on top of this new factor. Maddie had gently suggested that he see a therapist for his depression, to which Buck had quickly refused. He had told Maddie about his first encounter with a therapist back when he first joined the 118, and he was not keen on revisiting the idea. Maddie, always ready to help her little brother, had researched tirelessly to find Buck the perfect alternative. Online therapy. He would never have to be in the same room as his therapist, and Maddie had even offered to join him in his sessions if it was too uncomfortable, or simply just sit in the room with him so that he could feel her presence. She had performed thorough background checks on every therapist that she found, determined to only find the best for her brother. She ended up deciding on Doctor Copeland, a very qualified and very kind seeming woman. When she suggested the idea to Buck, he had accepted gratefully, thanking Maddie a million times.
Maddie had also been helping Buck deal with his other traumas. The tsunami had been buried in the back of his mind for so long, that it was starting to break him apart. The more Buck thought about it, the more he realised how terrifying and scarring it had been. Visions of dead people floating in water, blood on jagged pieces of debris, entire streets lost underneath the wreckage haunted his mind. He had had a couple breakdowns, just so tired of the fear and the pain that he had sank to the floor in a heap of tears. Maddie was always there though, staying in Buck's loft to help him through the worst. She would wrap him up in her arms, and hold him while he fell apart, soothing him with her gentle words and quiet humming.
Buck's nightmares were also a problem. Maddie had been woken to Buck thrashing around in his bed, sheets wrapped around him like a straight-jacket as he fought the demons of his mind. He would wake, gasping and sweating, his whole body trembling like a leaf in the wind. She was always there, leading him to the bathroom to wash away the sweat, holding him while he cried and rocking him back to sleep in her embrace. His phobia of water was also a struggle to overcome. He would flinch every time the tap was turned on, and it took him a while to work up the courage to step foot in the shower, instead standing outside it for about 20 minutes to adjust to the sound of water before stepping under it. Maddie went out and bought him a bunch of new products to try and help him. The ones that worked the best were waterproof headphones. He could play his favourite songs and drown out the sound of the water. Another strategy they had implemented was installing LED lights in Buck's bathroom. He would change the colour to green, red or purple, and paired with the headphones it made showering more bearable, as the colours made the water seem less threatening. Maddie joked that Buck's bathroom had been turned into a disco.
Maddie had also called in Buck as sick for two of his shifts. She lied to Bobby and said that Buck had a bad fever, and she was staying over to monitor him. Bobby believed it because Maddie was the one calling. Instead of going to work, Buck went into dispatch with Maddie. He allowed her to take care of him, making sure he ate and drank and constantly checking in on him. Josh, Sue and Linda had been told by Maddie what Buck had been going through, and they were all incredibly supportive. They all agreed with Maddie that Buck was not at fault, and instead showered him with praise and positivity at every turn. It was relaxing, being away from the hellhole that was the 118, and instead just enjoying the company of his sister and her co-workers, who all treated him as if he was their little brother too. He had been told by every one of them that if he ever needed a hand with anything when Maddie was on a shift, they would always be there for him to call. Buck appreciated it greatly, allowing himself to worry slightly less. Even when he was back on shift, he knew Maddie would still take care of him, he wasn't alone anymore.
The morning of his return to the 118, Buck spent half and hour knelt in front of the toilet, heaving up his guts.
Maddie sympathetically stroked his back and brushed his hair back off his sweaty forehead. She encouraged him to remember the breathing exercises Dr Copeland had taught him, which did help a lot. He was so anxious about returning to the station, worried that the little progress he had made in the past few days would be gone the second he faced them.
"Oh Buck I really don't think you should have to do this alone." Maddie said worriedly as he fell back against her, shaking.
"M'fine." He mumbled, wiping his mouth, "just worried."
"I can see that." Maddie scoffed, helping him to his feet. "But you're not fine. I'm coming in with you."
"But then they're going to think I'm some unstable mess who needs a babysitter, not that I don't appreciate everything you've been doing for me." Buck added quickly.
Maddie smiled at him, knowing that he didn't mean it that way, "Buck, I don't care if they have an issue with it, and you shouldn't either. They have been mistreating you and I don't think they should be that surprised that I come pay them a visit. You've already proven you're not afraid to confront them, so me coming in to say my piece doesn't look like i'm speaking for you. You've already said it, i'm just adding emphasis and making sure you're safe." She assured him.
Buck couldn't really argue with that logic, and he had to admit, he didn't think he would be able to make it to the station alone. So he allowed her to guide him to the jeep, Maddie hopping in the drivers seat while he sank against the door of the passenger side. Throwing up all morning had wiped out a large portion of his energy, and he was already running on an empty tank after his multiple nightmares the previous night. He closed his eyes and allowed the coolness of the window to calm his raging mind. When they pulled up, Buck fought for his life to keep his fears at bay. Maddie laid a gentle hand on his knee and gave it a comforting squeeze.
Maddie is here. She's not gonna let them hurt you.
Walking into the station felt like walking into a slaughterhouse. Buck couldn't hide the his shaky hands. Maddie had her hand wrapped firmly around his arm as she stormed into the station, walking in like a wildfire. She patiently waited for Buck to change, guarding the door like a murderous watchdog, and then they both proceeded to walk up to the loft. Hen, Eddie, Bobby and Chim were all huddled around the kitchen counter, apparently inspecting Bobby's cooking. They all looked up when they saw Buck, and their faces became much more solemn. Chimney saw Maddie and his face fell, even taking a small step back in fear. Chimney knew what an angry Maddie looked like, and in regards to her brother, that anger was probably going to be multiplied by 100.
"Now one of you better give me a real good explanation as to why my brother has been treated like dirt as of late." Maddie said furiously, eyeing them all like a hawk.
They all had the decency to look ashamed of themselves, Buck tried to shrink behind the much smaller form of his sister.
"Because my god I could not believe the things he was telling me about you people!" She glared at Bobby, "You lied to him and said that it was the chief and the doctors that were holding him back, he had every right to return and you prevented that because of your own fears. Buck can make his own decisions and I don't appreciate you thinking so low of him that you think he can't think for himself and make rational decisions!" Buck was surprised venom wasn't flying out of her mouth.
"You taped over his name with someone else's? You didn't even check in on him after the tsunami? You teased and called him names when he became a fire marshal, even though you had all been telling him to get off his ass and do something because his life wasn't over? I mean seriously?" Maddie's gaze flew from one person to the next. "I'm a registered nurse and I can tell you that for patients on blood thinners we highly recommend them being as active as possible to prevent further clots, and yet you all thought you knew what was best for him, and instead stuck him behind a desk. It's clear to me that you don't give a damn about him because you're all too stubborn to admit that you were at fault, and decided to be offended when he retaliated. You stabbed him and then got angry when he stabbed you back!" Maddie took a deep breath, casting a glance over her shoulder at Buck to make sure he hadn't bolted.
"You want to know what your brilliant decision making has actually done for Buck? Well, you took away the job he loved for no reason, he developed depression, he has severe PTSD and can't even step foot in a shower without headphones, he has nightmares almost every night and is currently seeing a therapist. Virtually might I add, because he was raped by the last one which you also all seemed to think was some kind of joke."
Everyone just blinked at her in shock, their gazes turning to Buck who was staring at the floor as if it was a priceless piece of art.
"You're right Maddie." Hen was the first to open her mouth to speak, stepping forward slightly. "Buck has been treated unfairly and none of us tried to see his perspective. We all just assumed Buck was being Buck and ignoring his own safety to do what he pleased. It was stupid, and dumb and we should have never treated him that way. I specifically want to apologise for calling you a Hall Monitor when you were a fire marshal, I should have noticed that teasing you for doing a job you hated just so that you could return was a horrible thing to do. I bullied you for not giving up and it was wrong. I'm really sorry Buck."
Maddie nodded at this apology, seemingly satisfied that they were getting somewhere. Chimney also apologised in a similar fashion. It was down to Bobby and Eddie. Eddie who had called Buck exhausting and Bobby who was the reason for this whole mess in the first place. Neither of them moved, either they were both at a loss for words, or they were waiting for the other to speak first. Finally, Bobby spoke up.
"Buck, what I did was wrong. I didn't get it at first, I genuinely thought I was doing you a favour. Now I see that I was actually causing you more pain to spare myself. When you admitted how you felt at the station and yelled at us all, it was a reality check. I hadn't even thought about your perspective like that before and I had no idea how much you were hurting. I also realised that I made things so difficult on you, constantly ripping away the things you worked for and then never once checking up on you after. I didn't even think about how hurtful it might have been to see your name taped over at the station after you had been fighting so hard to get back. You gave everything you had for this job and I kept taking it away. I was supposed to protect you, to advocate for you, but instead I betrayed you and lied to you and hurt you. I am so, so sorry."
Buck nodded, unsure whether he was supposed to accept this apology or not. He shot a glance to Maddie for guidance, he knew he had a habit of forgiving to easily. Maddie was still glaring at Bobby, but she seemed to be accepting his words.
"It's ok," Buck said, "I get that the lawsuit was a dumb move, I was just hurt."
"It's not your fault, Buck. You had every reason to be hurt. And the lawsuit actually opened my eyes more and made me realise how I was treating you unfairly. I was just too angry to admit it, even when my anger was unjustified." Bobby assured him. "You're not gonna be man behind again, and I swear i'm not giving you another chore for about 6 months. You deserve your place here, and I'm sorry I took it away."
"Thanks Bobby," Buck said, cracking a small smile.
Eddie was still silent, looking at Buck with an odd expression on his face. Maddie shot him a dangerous look.
"I'm sorry." He began, "god I was so focused on my own problems that I didn't even think about yours. I just dumped Chris on your doorstep when you were clearly going through a rough time. I just barged in, gave you a very unhelpful pep talk, and left you with my kid. I didn't even ask how you were feeling or if you were okay, I just left. Then you risked your life to save my son, and how did I repay you? By hardly speaking to you and then getting angry with you when you filed a lawsuit that you had every right to file. I was too busy feeling betrayed and caught up in my own self-pity, that I never paid attention to the fact that you were hurting and practically crying out for help. You didn't tell us about you saving lives in the tsunami because you didn't think we cared, or worse, you thought we would lecture you again on being reckless. And that breaks my heart because you should never have to feel that way about saving lives. You should never have to worry about your job being ripped away from you because you went above and beyond to help people. I'm sorry Buck."
Buck felt the heavy weight on his chest lift at the words. They all apologised. They all, finally saw his side. Buck nodded at Eddie's words, shooting him a glance that communicated forgiveness.
"Well Buck might forgive you, but you all have a lot of work to do to build back my trust, and you still have to earn his." Maddie growled, her momma-bear mode still engaged.
'Of course." They all nodded, all looking at her with slight alarm.
Maddie turned to Buck, a gentle expression on her face, "Wanna tell them about the other thing?" She asked him.
"What?" Buck said, his mind elsewhere, he was so dazed and so exhausted from all the fighting and then apologising.
"The thing the chief called you about?" Maddie said, understanding that Buck was not 100% there.
"Oh," Buck said, suddenly remembering, and feeling very shy. "I uh, they're hosting a medal ceremony for me, and I wanted to invite you guys..." He trailed off a little, afraid for their response.
"You're getting a medal?" Hen gasped, "which one?"
"A medal of valour." Buck explained.
The whole group erupted into cheers of celebration. They all rushed towards him, clapping him on the back and proudly complimenting him on his achievement. Buck shot Maddie another glance, and she was smiling at Buck like he was the sun.
"Of course we will come!" Eddie cried, "We'll invite everyone we know as well! You deserve a big celebration."
"And a party!" Bobby said, proudly pulling Buck into a hug, "I'll talk to Athena."
"Thanks guys," Buck smiled. His home was starting to feel like home again,
"You gonna be okay?" Maddie said, giving him a hug.
"Yeah, I think so." He said, hugging her back.
She reached her hands up and placed them on either side of his face, "I'm so proud of you." She said once again, giving him another squeeze before pulling back. "Call me if you need anything and i'll see you tonight okay?"
"Okay," Buck agreed, allowing her to give him a kiss on the cheek before she parted.
Buck sat in the front row with a bunch of offical looking people he didn't know the name of. They had all introduced themselves to him before the event, congratulating him on his achievement, but their names were now lost to him. He clung onto Maddie's hand like a lifeline. Chief Alonzo, understanding that Buck had been struggling with some mental issues and was much more comfortable with his sister around, had offered to seat Maddie beside him. Maddie thanked him several times and Buck damn near hugged him out of appreciation.
There were so many people attending. Much more than he had expected. Behind Buck, his friends were all there. Bobby, Athena, May and Harry. Hen, Karen and Denny. Eddie, Chris, Abuela and Pepa. Chimney, Micheal and David. Josh, Linda and Sue. In addition to Buck's friends. There was another entire section filled with people he didn't recognise. These, he assumed, were members of the community, judging by their formal, but not official clothing. Buck felt slightly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the crowd, even spotting a few news crews at the back. He rubbed his sweaty palm (the one that was not latched onto Maddie's) on his pants nervously. The official party got up and said their piece about the values of the LAFD and the bravery of the men and women who serve. One had a speech dedicated to the history of the medal of valour, one of the highest awards a firefighter could receive.
Finally, the official speeches were over. Buck watched, slightly confused, as an entire row of people stood up and made their way to the stage. Suddenly, Buck let out a short gasp as he recognised them. No longer waterlogged and screaming in terror, the survivors Buck had singlehandedly pulled from the water waited for their turn to stand up to the microphone and say their piece. The first person was the first woman Buck saved, the one who had been clinging to the side of the wall. She unfolded her paper and began to read out the letter that she had sent to the LAFD. She praised Buck for his quick thinking, the way he comforted her when she thought all hope was lost. Following her was a man, who discussed how Buck was bleeding and on blood thinners, but still jumped in to save him. One by one, the community told the story Buck had always been afraid to share. The story of how a lone, broken and beaten man had saved the lives of 30 people with nothing but his sheer willpower to fuel him. They told every detail. The way Buck had collapsed for a few moments at around person 25, throwing up foamy sea water and shaking so bad he looked like he was having a seizure. The way Buck's arm was so red with blood from a small cut that it looked like he had stuck it elbow-deep in a bucket of paint. The way Buck had begged the people he saved to watch Christopher, as he couldn't stand losing the boy again. The way Buck sobbed when he saw someone else in the water, but dove in anyway. They told it all.
By the end of this segment, Maddie had tears rolling down her face. She leaned against Buck, amazed at how she had ended up with the most incredible person for a brother. Behind her, Athena, Bobby, Hen, Eddie, Karen and Chimney were also tearing up.
Chief Alonzo then took to the stage, and Buck sat up a little straighter, anxiety thrumming through his veins.
"It's okay," Maddie whispered to him.
"Today we are here to award firefighter Evan Buckley with the medal of valour. Firefighter Buckley risked his own life to save the lives of 30 civilians, whilst bleeding out from blood thinners, suffering from chronic pain in his recently healed leg, battling exhaustion and, from what his hospital records tell me, several broken ribs and severe bruising to 70% of his back and 20% of his front. Evan Buckley, more commonly known as Buck, is a prime example of a hero and will forever go down in LAFD history as one. I would now like to invite him to the stage."
Buck felt his hand slip out of Maddie's. He felt her helping him to his feet, giving him a small nudge and whispering reassurances as he mounted the stage. He made a point to look only at the chief, preferring to keep his nerves at bay until the last possible moment. He shook the chief's hand, the cold medal placed over his head, and a plaque being handed to him. He turned, facing a photographer who snapped his photo with a blinding flash. And then he turned to face the crowd.
People were leaping from their seats, applauding and cheering. Maddie was standing on top of her chair, directly in front of him, sobbing hysterically as she watched her little brother shine. Bobby was whooping and Athena and Hen were screaming "go Buckaroo!" Eddie and Chimney were clapping so hard their hands were red raw. The community guests were cheering loudly too, some waving at him, some cupping their hands around their mouths to amplify the sounds of their cheers. Buck felt tears burn at his eyes.
A few weeks ago he could barely get out of bed. He didn't have the job he loved and he was locked in a violent battle with the PTSD he refused to acknowledge. He had been so desperate to be seen, craving for someone to notice his pain, to notice his side of the story and understand him. Now, everyone noticed him. They noticed his flaws, the way his hands were shaking and the way he was being coached by his sister to get through the affair. But they didn't care. They cheered for him anyway, because he deserved their praise. When he stepped down from the stage, Maddie flung herself towards him, tears staining his shirt.
"I love you so much." She cried.
"I love you too Mads." He said in a shaky voice back.