Chapter Text
GC > skittle squad
3:34pm
MyLittlePony: HELP
Captain Queerknob: ????
curnelius cornman: with what? r u okay? u better not be getting jumped rn istg curtis
MyLittlePony: no I'm fine, but I've got a problem
MyLittlePony:
Captain Queerknob: AWWWW
curnelius cornman: wtf that's adorable
curnelius cornman: hes so tiny 😭
ginger (derogatory): KITTTYY???
MyLittlePony: I found him walking home from school, idk what to do tho he doesn't have any fleas or anything, I can't just leave him but darry might actually kill me if I bring him home
dr multilevel marketing: fuck darry if u leave him behind i'll never forgive u
ginger (derogatory): Don't leave him!!!
curnelius cornman: idk anything abt animal care but uh, wrap him in ur jacket or something and take him home
curnelius cornman: what do cats eat
ginger (derogatory): Ughhh I wish I could take him in but my mothers allergic :(
MyLittlePony: update he's snug in my jacket and I'm taking him home, screw darry
dr multilevel marketing: hell yeah
Captain Queerknob: unfortunately we already have a cat and can't afford another, but ill bring over some extra cat food and tuna we have
MyLittlePony: ty scout :D
MyLittlePony: he's so cute I'm gonna cry how could anyone leave this baby 💔
ginger (derogatory): People suck 💔
curnelius cornman: fr
MyLittlePony: okay no one's home rn, but after I get him settled I'm gonna text the gang gc abt it and hope for the best
dr multilevel marketing: better they dont find out irl ig
ginger (derogatory): Goodluck!
GC > curtis gang 🔥‼️
3:59pm
horseman: so, on a scale of one to ten, how opposed would darry be to getting a cat
johnnycake: thats not a suspicious question at all
texas: why do you ask
Superman: What'd you do
horseman: geez just wondering
horseman: but hypothetically
Superman: Oh my god
horseman: if I were to bring home a stray kitten
johnnycake: oh pony you didnt
horseman: …could we perchance keep him
texas: ofc you would be the one to do this
Superman: Absolutely not
horseman: oh cmon dar pleasseeee
Superman: No
Superman: Get it out of the house, it could have fleas
horseman: he doesn't I already checked and bathed him!
Superman: Still we're not keeping him
pepsi: not keeping who?
horseman: dar how can you say no to this face
pepsi: ASWUUAKJSX
pepsi: OH MY GOODNESS
Superman: Please don't do this
johnnycake: awwww
two-bit🐭: that is fucking adorable
pepsi: DARRYYYY
horseman: see?
Superman: Guys no
pepsi: 🥺
Superman: We're poor
steveothan: i think its too late
texas: live up to your name supes, cant kick a poor little kitty back to the streets
horseman: even dally agrees!
pepsi: darrr :(
Superman: Oh for gods sake fine
horseman: WAIT REALLY
horseman: YESSS OMHGHJJD
texas: welp, guess yall have a cat now
two-bit🐭: what are you gonna name him?
horseman: that is a good question actually
Superman: You found him, you're responsible for him, I'll buy his basic needs like a litterbox and food, but you're the one changing it and feeding him you hear?
horseman: yes yes thank you darrr
steveothan: next he'll be demanding a pony for christmas
horseman: I am the pony
GC > skittle squad
4:11pm
MyLittlePony: GUYGUYSGUYS
MyLittlePony: WE'RE KEEPING HIM
ginger (derogatory): YES OMG
Captain Queerknob: HUZZAH
curnelius cornman: WOOO
dr multilevel marketing: YAYYYY
curnelius cornman: does he have a name yet?
horseman: no, any suggestions?
Captain Queerknob: megatron
horseman: no
dr multilevel marketing: what about simba
horseman: no
ginger (derogatory): cinnamon?
curnelius cornman: cheeto
horseman: no and no
dr multilevel marketing: damn okay
horseman: y'all are basic bitches
Captain Queerknob: megatron isnt basic!
curnelius cornman: okay picky geez, how abt apollo?
horseman: wait that's actually good
horseman: how do you know that name?
curnelius cornman: idk I remember u yapping abt greek mythology once
horseman: huh, I didn't know you cared enough about those to listen
ginger (derogatory): So apollo it is then?
horseman: yep :)
Captain Queerknob: WHAUAHHSB
dr multilevel marketing: not to be dramatic but id die for apollo
GC > curtis gang 🔥‼️
4:19pm
two-bit🐭: buddy?
texas: its a cat not a dog
pepsi: kitty?
steveothan: thats actually terrible no
texas: yeah sure lets just name him cat while were at it
Superman: I refuse to have a cat called ‘kitty’
pepsi: well sorry ive suggested every other name in existence what do u want me to say!
johnnycake: surely theres other names besides terminator and fluffy
horseman: why does everyone want to name him something destructive
two-bit🐭: literally him:
steveothan: finally your back, please decide on a name before we all lose our minds
horseman: yes I've picked a name, he shall henceforth be known as Apollo
johnnycake: like one of those greek guys youve mentioned before?
horseman: yes he's the god of the sun, healing, archery, and plague
steveothan: nerd
horseman: stfu drop out
two-bit🐭: sooo still a destructive name kinda?
horseman: he wouldn't hurt a fly that's my son right there
texas: teenage parentings a big commitment
pepsi: hes only 3 apples tall 💔
steveothan: not even 1 apple tall
pepsi: ALSO I LOVE THAT NAME PONY! WELCOME TO THE FAMILY APOLLO :D
Superman: I'm gonna regret this aren't I
texas: yk superman for once I think you might not