Chapter Text
Shane grips the sides of the bathroom sink and stares at his reflection.
He just needs to practice what to say, so that the dinner with his parents goes well. All he has to do is to say the perfect thing for his parents to understand.
For them to understand something Shane barely understands himself.
He just needs practice, and the right words. He can do this.
“Mom, Dad,” he tells his reflection sternly, “I need to tell you something extremely important. It’s going to change what you think of me, but it kind of shouldn’t. I think. Because you’re my parents and you love me. But it will change you. For the better, I think.”
He sighs. What a terrible start. He cannot lead with that.
“Okay, try again,” he tells himself. “Mom, Dad, I know you love me, and this may be a shock, but I’m… married to a man. And I think that makes me gay?”
He groans. “I’m not gay because I married him, I married him because I’m gay. I’m such a fucking idiot. Okay, okay, not that way. Start over.”
He shakes out his limbs, trying to dislodge the anxiety that is building up like lactic acid in his muscles after a long workout.
Maybe he should try for some levity? “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I’m gay. The bad news is, it’s for Ilya Rozanov. Would you like to meet him?”
Shane has never been much of a jokester, and he doesn’t think this is the time to start.
It’s too late at night to be doing this much thinking, he decides. He’ll try again another time.
_/ \_
Shane wonders if perhaps convincing them that this is not an impulsive decision – unlike the wedding – would play in his favor.
“Do you remember back when I was like, 13 maybe? I was at hockey camp, and there was a kid, Gavin Pearson. He was a year older than me, but he was pretty good at hockey. And you kept asking me about him, like ‘oh did you make a friend?’ and I told you of course not and that it was just because he had an older sister who I wanted to be introduced to? Well. That was a fucking lie.”
Not a good story to tell, he thinks. And certainly not one to tell in front of Ilya.
Back to the drawing board.
_/ \_
“Mom, Dad, we are gathered here today to… Wait, fuck, that’s what they say at weddings. I cannot start it like that.”
Ilya laughs so hard over the video call that his audio cuts out entirely.
_/ \_
“Shane, you are making this too complicated,” Ilya tells him after they’ve had phone sex one night. “Just tell them, ‘beloved parents, I am gay and married Ilya Rozanov, my very sexy rival turned lover.”
“Never call yourself my lover again.”
“You have too many rules about what words I can use. Cannot say lover, cannot say super gay—”
“Super gay isn’t a word, Ilya. It’s two.”
“I don’t know that many English words, you have to stop banning them.”
_/ \_
“Wait, wait, Ilya, I’ve got it. I ask them, ‘Would you still love me if I was a worm?’” Shane asks with a giggle. “And then I follow up with, ‘okay, what if I was married to Ilya Rozanov?’”
Ilya stares at him, bewildered but also charmed. “Shane, you only had two beers, how are you this drunk?”
_/ \_
He’s back in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. Shane searches his face for answers, as if his freckles will reveal the secrets of the universe to him – or at least, how to come out to his parents.
Ilya certainly believes in the magic of his freckles, so maybe they will have something to say.
After a few moments, Shane shakes his head and tries again.
“Mom, dad, I’m ready to tell you more about me and Lily. I really appreciate you giving me the space I needed to figure this out. Well, for us to figure this out. I know things have been… difficult. Confusing. But it’s important to me that you know that Lily has been so good. This whole mess, it’s my fault, okay? Don’t blame Lily. Because once you know who Lily is, you’re going to want to. And that… would be fucked up.”
Shane squeezes his eyes shut. “Don’t swear at your parents when you come out to them, Jesus, dude. You’re a mess.”
_/ \_
“Mom, Dad, thank you for your patience as we navigate these difficult circumstances.”
“Did someone die, Hollander? Why are you talking like is press conference?”
“Fuck.”
“You need to loosen up, dorogoy,” Ilya says, his tone playful. “Maybe we should fuck before I meet your parents so you are more relaxed.”
“There wouldn’t be time between the game and dinner,” Shane says seriously, “otherwise I might take you up on that offer.”
“Wow, it was joke,” Ilya laughs. “I didn’t think you would agree to it.”
“Well, I didn’t, but that’s more of a logistics concern than anything.”
“You surprise me every day,” Ilya smiles.
“I can surprise you some more, if you want,” Shane says.
“Oh?”
Shane puts his glasses on. “Take off your clothes.”
Ilya’s jaw drops with both shock and arousal, and Shane has never felt more proud in his life.
He still doesn’t know what to say to his parents.