Chapter Text
The stares that were thrown at him as we walked down the halls were understandable. The snickering, murmuring, and quick glances were all understandable.
He was dressed as a fucking knight for God's sake. It's a blessing nobody has stepped on his cape yet, which flowed behind him diligently, making him seem legendary, untouchable even.
Cartman snorts. Stan glares.
"The fuck is wrong with you, fatass?" Cartman giggles in a shrill voice behind his hand, his voice raising a few octaves higher, a ghastly imitation of a girl.
"Oh, nothing, my knight, but would you say I'm luxuriant and e-exquisite too?" He flutters his short eyelashes quickly, giggling once more behind his hand before outright bursting into laughter, Kyle and Jimmy following suit. Butters and Token let out soft chuckles, Craig giving a hint of a smile.
Stan turns red, his mind drifting back to Kenny in his costume, which for some reason suited him, and turns an even darker shade of red.
"Oh? Thinking about the princess already, my night?" Cartman quips, and Stand abashedly looks to the side.
"Fuck all of you!"
Craig pipes up.
"He didn't deny it."
<><><><><>
Everyone knows of Mysterion, the strange man (the press confirmed Mysterions gender) who sneaks into the night, helping those in need.
Craig, the antisocial recluse who cared not for most things in life, was especially interested in the mishaps and perhaps of the masked, hooded vigilante.
Craig hadn't been able to sleep, and he steps out of bed, quietly climbing down the creaking stairs, grabbing a cup from the cupboard, filling it with water, and heading back up the stairs.
His seats himself on his bed, pulling his laptop over to his lap and taking a couple tentative sips from his cup whilst starting up the laptop.
He leans over, placing the cup on the edge of his bedside table, unlocking his laptop and leaning against the pillows on his bed.
He opens a new window, quickly clicking the search bar and typing in his desired needs.
'How to fall asleep when you arent tired' About 44,900,000 results appear in 0.58 seconds, but what would he know, he's simply reading the small faded text underneath the search bar.
His eyes scan over a majority of the links and he decides to try them out.
In less than an hour later, he's seen in a strange yoga pose that has him upside down, skewered to the right while his upper torso is flipped over. Half the lights in his room are off, his phone is vibrating slightly to the left of him, playing rap music at a volume of 4.
He's breathing in and out through his nose and drinking chamomile tea from a straw (his hands are occupied holding him up).
He groans, mumbling to himself.
"This was a stupid idea, none of this is working." He fixes his body to its normal position, moving the cup of empty chamomile tea away from him, onto his desk.
"That's true, but it was entertaining to watch." He jolts at the deep, raspy voice coming from the left of him.
He looks up and sees the town hero, seated on the windowsill, one knee bent, the other dangling, his cape flying behind him in rolls.
He looked like he came out of a superhero movie.
Craig feels himself warm up.
"Nice boxers." He feels himself turn redder as he's reminded he's wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and socks.
"I was just trying to fall asleep, this is what the internet said." He winces at the look the vigilante gives him.
"I came to ask a favor of someone, but ended up in the wrong house." Craig opens his mouth, about to retort something as a sense of deja vu comes over him.
"Ah-" Mysterion cuts him off, "Before you question me, I hope you understand it's dead black outside, and all the houses look the same. My partner usually leaves the window open."
Craig raises an eyebrow.
"So basically, wrong place?" Mysterion nods.
"Wrong house, sorry." His crystal blue eyes glisten under the moon, and Craig can make out a couple strands of blonde hair poking out from underneath.
"Blue eyes and blonde hair, eh? You could have been like a prince charming or some shit." Mysterion shifts, his feet landing on Craig's floor with a soft fwump, his eyes dashing forward with an intense look.
"Nobody likes a goody-two-shoes." Craig sighs.
"Whatever, how long do you plan to stay here?" Mysterion shrugs.
"Long as I want, this happens occasionally, how do you think the news got any shit concerning me? Hell, they would have thought I was a girl if I didn't stop by the wrong houses a couple times." Craig snickers and takes the time to take in the vigilante.
He has a lean frame, but muscles are definite, his eyes tracing every line and curve on the heroes body before stopping at the underwear worn on the outside.
"What's up with those?" Craig asks, but he can still feel a subtle blush creeping up the sides of his face from glancing down there.
"Comic relief." Craig does a double-take.
"Sorry?"
"Comic relief, it makes the townspeople less afraid of me, I apparently seem less intimidating like this."
Craig snorts, letting out a chuckle, and Mysterion offers a crooked grin.
Craig notes he has a missing tooth, also noticing the two holes on his lower lip, probably piercings.
Mysterion looks around the room, observing it. Craig uses the time to collect as much as he can from his appearance, he could use it to reveal his identity, listing them off in his head.
Freckles, two lip piercings, missing tooth, bruises, blue eyes, blonde hair, lean frame.
He'll collect more as time goes on, he decides that he's going to start with the people in his high school first, then move on to the town which he plans to section off into several areas. The town wasn't quite so little anymore.
Maybe he could narrow it down more...
"So..." He drawls, and Mysterion glances over to him swiftly, causing Craig to internally flinch.
"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime, you look around my age."
Kenny knew what Craig was doing, deciding to play along anyway.
"Sure, I guess I am 'around your age'. I've spent too much time here already, so not today." Kenny sits on the open window sill, leaning back slightly, "I'll stop by again though, no need to worry."
He leans back, falling off the window sill, quickly grabbing onto a nearby gutter pipe and climbing up, taking a running jump off the roof of Craig's house, hopping away into the distance.
Craig, who rushed to the window when he saw the masked madman fall, let his eyes chase after him, watching in awe, feeling entranced once more.
The cold wind flutters by, chilling Craig to the bone as he backs up.
"Fucking cold..." He mumbles to himself.
This time, the barren neighborhood remains barren.
No sounds of shutting windows for the rest of the night, and the nights that follow.
<><><><><>
The next morning Kenny heads to school, as per usual, latching onto everyone, as per usual, and stopping by his locker, as per usual.
Craig and some of their other friends arrive, waving hello to all of them as Kenny busies himself with grabbing his textbooks, ignoring the urge to feel contact.
He looks up, eyes catching Craig's, and he can't help but think back to last night.
A practically naked Craig doing yoga whilst sipping chamomile tea and listening to rap.
He snorts and bursts out laughing. Craig watches his laughing eyes, feeling his face flush.
For some unknown reason, he has a strange feeling that Kenny knows what happened last night.