Chapter Text
Alex didn't stop to catch his breath until he'd run all the way to the parking lot.
He ran to his dad’s truck that he’d borrowed to get the fundraiser, bracing himself against the door. His eyes closed and he tried really hard not to think about what just happened. Actually, who was he kidding? That’s all he could think about. Soft lips, soft hair, hard something else.
Alex Manes had never kissed a man before in his life and now he just fucking went all in. After watching Michael for years, he saw his chance and he fucking took it. How could he stop thinking about it?
Alex touched his lips and had to take a deep breath to stop himself from running back. He wanted to so badly. He wanted to kiss him until he couldn't breathe, until his lips were numb, until he tasted his name on Michael's tongue.
It was insanity, really. Ever since he'd seen Isobel's post advertising that Michael would be here doing a kissing booth, Alex had been planning. He never thought he'd actually go through with it, though. He thought it was all fake plans that he'd never do like how he could commit the perfect murder or successfully steal from Walmart. But no. He'd heard Isobel say he was taking a break, he saw Isobel leave the booth, and he saw his opportunity.
But now he dealt with the possibility that Michael might know who he was. Or, worse, that he didn't know. That Michael had just kissed a perfect stranger like the world was ending and Alex was the only one who had all the pieces of the puzzle.
What the fuck had he just done?
-
“Sorry.”
Alex stared, partially frozen in shock as the one and only Michael Guerin stood in front of him. He waited in baited silence for what felt like an eternity as he waited for Michael to point out that he was the one who kissed him, to tease him for it. Instead, Michael looked him up and down. His eyes hovered on the school’s emblem on his chest and Alex watched his smirk grow into place.
“Sorry, do I know you?” Michael asked. Alex felt his heart plummet, though he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t really want Michael to know it was him. Or maybe he did. He decided he would hate either option because he regretted doing it. Why couldn’t he get his first real kiss like any other guy? Ask someone out, go on a date, kiss them at their doorstep, that kind of stuff. Why did he have to be a creep?
“Uh… No, I don’t think so.”
“That’s too bad,” Michael said. That caught Alex off guard. Maybe Michael had noticed him around.
“Right, well… See you around, I guess,” Alex fumbled out, quickly exiting himself from the situation before he brutally embarrassed himself.
Alex stood outside with his drink and tried his best to calm down. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to be so stupid? More importantly, why couldn’t he kiss him again when he wasn’t blindfolded?
“Hey, Alex!”
Alex looked up to see cheerleader Lucy Geraldo jogging over to him. She was pretty, he could admit that, but she wasn’t his type. She was missing a pretty crucial piece of identity to fit his type. However, that didn’t stop her or her friends from flirting with him. Maybe it was his fault. He had made out with Hannah Kay at that party sophomore year. That was what had confirmed to him that he was super gay. It also confirmed to everyone else that he was absolutely not.
“I was just thinking about you,” she said, smiling as she pulled her thick hair over her shoulder, “I was wondering if you were going to Hannah’s party this weekend?”
Alex gave a tight smile and chose a sturdy lie. “Nah, I have to study.”
“Oh,” she pouted, “Maybe we can hang out some other time?”
“Maybe,” he said. She smiled and waved at him and he hauled ass to the Crashdown.
Which would’ve been great if he didn’t run into Michael again. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he knew Michael had a thing going on with Rosa for years now, but it felt like an extra layer of bullshit. Couldn’t he just enjoy his misery in peace?
“I’m sorry, he flirts with everything that has a pulse,” Liz huffed after Michael left.
“It’s fine,” Alex said, shrugging his shoulders. He thought about coming out to Liz if only so he could have someone to talk to about it. He was resigned to his fantasies and they were becoming unbearable, but he didn’t know how to begin. “You think they’re hooking up?”
“Who, Michael and Rosa? Absolutely not,” Liz laughed. Alex raised an eyebrow. “I can’t say much about what’s going on because it’s not my place, but they’re just friends.”
Alex firmly decided he liked the idea of staying in denial that Michael Guerin wasn’t sleeping around like everyone said.
“Okay.”
-
Alex left the library with a smile on his face and the desire to jump and scream.
He just flirted with a guy. Like, a guy who was right there and could see his face and flirted back. It was easy. Michael was interested. Or, he at least seemed so. Alex wasn’t sure why exactly someone like that would be interested in someone like him. Maybe he was just flirting because he could.
It didn’t matter. Alex was happy. He felt confident. That was so rare. Suddenly, he was really tired of hiding.
Alex made his way to the Crashdown, still hyper and high on the fact that a whole ass man had flirted with him. He even let himself think that maybe Michael would’ve kissed him if he saw his face. Hell, maybe Michael even had been watching him too.
“Liz, can I talk to you?” he asked. She looked up from to him and then over to her dad who waved her onto her break. The two of them walked to the back of the cafe and sat in a booth. He looked at her and, for the first time, said it out loud. “I’m gay.”
Liz’s eyes widened and her head moved back in shock. “Really?”
“Yes,” Alex breathed, smiling, “I’m gay. But you’re the first person I’ve told, so please don’t say anything just yet.”
“Of course I won’t say anything, oh my god, I’m so glad you told me,” Liz said, the shock quickly being replaced with a smile, “I-I don’t even know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything, I just needed to say it,” he told her. He left out the part that he was super excited because he just flirted with a boy in public.
“That makes sense. I’m proud of you,” she said. He smiled wider.
This felt good.
-
Alex flirted with Michael the next time he saw him at Bean Me Up. He couldn’t help himself.
He felt those beautiful eyes on him the entire time and he didn’t know how he’d ever gone without feeling them. He was more than convinced now that Michael had noticed him before that first time they spoke. He was just too smooth, too cool, too perfect. He had to have prepared.
He was high on life, on being out, on being noticed .
-
“How long has he been sitting there?”
“Four hours.”
“Jesus Christ, why didn’t you call me?”
“My phone is dead!”
Rosa cursed under her breath and made her way to Michael Guerin. Alex had been watching Michael since he’d been there for only about ten minutes. He’d been methodically shooting the same four rubber bands into the same cup over and over and over. He was wearing what seemed to be four layers of clothes and his eyes were empty. It was the most out of it Alex had ever seen a person. It was particularly weird to see him like that. He was always so full of life, so present. Alex didn’t understand.
Rosa hugged him and brought him food. Every movement Michael made was in slow motion, still seeming not all there. Alex tried to imagine a time he felt like that, but he couldn’t. Michael seemed to be completely removed from himself.
“Can you wash his clothes when you’re done down here?” Rosa asked Liz who nodded.
“Hey, Rosa, wait,” Alex said before he could stop himself, “What’s going on?”
Rosa sighed and clearly seemed to be debating what she should say or shouldn’t say. She settled on, “He’s just not himself right now.”
Sometime in between it all, Michael looked up and made eye contact. Usually, he would smile. Usually, he would say something witty. Today he seemed to not even register that he made eye contact.
“Liz,” Alex prodded after Rosa had dragged Michael upstairs, “What’s that all about?”
“I shouldn’t say,” Liz hesitated.
“I wanna help though,” Alex nearly whined.
Liz waited a moment and looked around a few times before leaning in close.
“He kinda doesn’t have a place to live,” she said softly. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and sat back. How did someone like that not have a place to live?
Whenever Alex thought of the word homeless, he imagined people on the street who hadn’t bathed in years. He imagined old men with beards and shopping carts. He imagined… anything but a high schooler who had a truck and friends and a sexy smile. It didn’t compute.
“I don’t understand,” Alex said. Liz just gave a sad little smile.
“I don’t know much. I just know he’s been through the foster system and it didn’t go well,” she said. Alex nodded.
The next few days Alex spent padding out his shed. It was already pretty set for someone to stay there, but he decided to add another, thicker blanket and made sure everything was clean.
For once, he had nothing by confidence as he went to talk to Michael. This wasn’t about him this time.
-
“Who do you think carved those initials?”
Alex tilted his head as he took in the heart that had “ H.R. + K.C. ‘54” written inside it. Ever since he’d found this time, he’d brainstormed on who those two could’ve possibly been and why they spent their time in the shed. He always came up with a different story. A married couple who built it, a ten-year-old girl in love with her neighbor, a boy who was about to go to war and wanted to make sure there was something permanent, an elderly couple who wanted to reminisce.
“I don’t know. Could be anyone,” Alex said. Michael hummed softly which easily dragged Alex’s attention onto him. He was laying in bed, a blanket draped around him. He looked comfortable and like he was meant to be there. It made Alex’s heart skip a beat.
Things with Michael felt so comfortable. They’d been doing this for almost a month now, hanging out alone and just being. He could say anything without fear and so could Michael. He’d gotten to know him in a way he hadn’t expected and he liked him even more now. He liked the way he trusted him, he liked the way he joked around, he liked the way he had told Alex things that seemed so heavy and yet he made them seem light. Hell, he even liked the way he didn’t really flirt anymore. He was real around him. Mask off.
Fuck, Alex was in deep.
“Maybe it stands for Henry Rollins and Kevin Costner,” Michael began softly. Alex snorted, but let him continue. “Star-crossed lovers who couldn’t be seen with each other during the day, so instead they came here at night to be together.”
“Romantic,” Alex said.
“Very.”
Alex stayed in there for a little while longer, laying on the floor and thinking about what his life had become. He wasn’t sure how he’d become the type of person to provide food and shelter and warmth. He liked being that person. He liked being that person for Michael.
When he looked over to him, he saw that he was sound asleep. He was gorgeous when he slept. Well, he was gorgeous always.
Alex quietly left the shed and tried his best not to focus on how full his heart seemed.
-
Oh, how could life possibly be better than this?
Alex had mixed feelings the minute he let Michael into his house. He saw the way Michael looked at all the expensive shit his father put on display, he noticed the way that had suddenly activated his flirting again. Of course, that sort of got confusing during the haircut. More confusing when Michael outright asked if he was straight. Things were very confusing.
But staring at him while he was asleep just a few inches away? There was nothing confusing about that.
The room was shrouded in darkness and Alex had already tugged the blanket over them both. He knew he should’ve woken Michael up so there would be no confusion. But the problem was that he was already sure he’d fucked up, so why not fuck up more?
Slowly, Alex reached his hand out. He moved slow and careful, gently dragging the back of his finger over Michael’s jaw. He was tempted to just put his whole hand on his cheek, but he didn’t. He already had done that when they’d kissed all that time ago. He knew what he felt like.
He touched him for a few seconds before Michael’s face scrunched up in the most adorable way, but Alex couldn’t watch because he was too busy snatching his hand away and pretending to be asleep. Michael made a confused little noise as he woke up. He didn’t move for a second, but then he did and when Alex peeked his eye open he saw his face buried in the pillow.
He wanted this forever.
The whole weekend went that way. Bonding, talking, being close. They slept in the same bed, they ate the same food, Michael used his shower.
“You know, I knew you were rich, but you’re like… really rich,” Michael commented late on Saturday night. Alex had shown him how to make pad thai even though he was sure Michael wasn’t paying attention.
“Old, dirty money,” Alex said with a shrug.
“What does your dad even do?” Michael asked. Alex looked at him, watched as he continued to look around.
“He’s military, but he has a lot of stocks. It’s all shares my great, great grandad had, passed onto him,” Alex explained. Michael nodded with an impressed look, giving him that flirty little smile.
“So you’re gonna have all that one day?” Michael asked. Alex felt his stomach tighten up in a way similar to when Michael had started flirting after registering the emblem on his uniform.
“Yeah.”
“That’s pretty hot,” Michael laughed, taking another bite. Alex changed the subject.
They climbed into the same bed that night, they whispered to each other, they slept in, they laid in bed for hours. It was so comfortable that Alex forgot. He let himself forget, he let himself focus on this. He just wanted so badly for this to be real. That a boy like that liked someone like him.
And then Michael sat him down.
“This whole weekend got me thinking really hard… I like you.”
//
“This is a bad idea.”
“Why? I think I’m fucking brilliant.”
Michael ignored the way Rosa stared at him, eyeing him like she was super worried. Which she probably was. She seemed to only worry when it came to things about him. Still, he ignored it and continued to make sure he looked hot enough to meet the man of his dreams.
“Yeah, I know you do,” she said, “But whoever kissed you might not want to meet you somewhere so public.”
“It’s not that public though. That’s why I chose Bean Me Up, it’s small and can’t be too crowded,” Michael pointed out. Rosa sighed.
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t going to crowd anyway. You advertised it and there are probably going to be people who are going to lie. Either to make fun of you or to trick you. I just don’t think this is smart and that’s coming from me,” Rosa said. Michael didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to.
It was true, he had advertised it. After loudly announcing it at the football game, he decided to be a bit more specific and got Isobel to make a post similar to the original kissing booth one. He put out a call for the guy who kissed him to meet him after school and that all he had to do was tell him what they talked about before the kiss.
“Michael,” Rosa said firmly when he turned around. She grabbed his arm and made him look at her. He did if only because she never said his name like that. “You are being reckless. What is going on? Are you okay? What happened?”
He stared at her for a minute and tried to find a quip about how she wasn’t his therapist. He found it hard to do that. She was always there for him and he was sort of being a dick in general. Michael took a deep breath, calming himself down enough to feel that dull ache in his chest resurface.
“I told Alex that I liked him and he freaked out on me about how I was just saying that because he has money,” Michael said, “I don’t even know why he’d even think that and I just… I need a good distraction.”
“And you think finding someone who kissed you in secret will do the trick?” Rosa asked. Michael shrugged.
“Worth a shot.”
“Have you thought about asking why Alex thought that? I’m sure there’s a reason. He’s a tame kid,” she said. He shook his head.
“Nah, I don’t want to make it worse. I’m just gonna put it behind me,” he said firmly. She gave him an unsure smile.
“Okay. Please be safe.”
“I will.”
-
So maybe Rosa had a point.
Between 4 PM and 7 PM, seven different guys had come up to fuck with him. It was a nice, firm kick to the ego. The first hour, people had gathered around out of curiosity to see what guy had kissed him in such a weird way. It dwindled and dwindled as time went on which only made Michael feel even more deflated. He just wanted someone. Was that so hard to ask?
“Hey, I gotta go. My mom’s gonna throw a fit if I stay any later,” Isobel said around 8:30. Bean Me Up was only going to be open for 30 more minutes. That meant 30 more minutes before he was forced to face the reality of rejection. “Are you gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” he promised. She gave him a sisterly smile and leaned to give him a hug.
“Let me know if he shows. And, if he doesn’t, come over. We can watch romcoms and eat ice cream and Mom can just get over it, okay?” she said. Michael smiled and nodded.
“Absolutely.”
When the clock hit 8:45 and he was the only one left in the shop, he was thinking about just heading to Isobel’s anyway. Leaving early would be better than being completely stood up. But then again, he’d already made it this far.
“We close in five,” one of the two baristas left said as the clock struck 8:55, sitting a full to-go drink in front of him with a kind smile, “On the house.”
“Why? Am I that pathetic?” he joked. Sort of. She still laughed.
“Well, no. You actually gave us a ton of free advertisement, so thanks for the nearly $300 sales jump today,” she said. Michael huffed a laugh and raised his drink to her.
“No problem,” he said, “I’ll head out so I’m not a dick.”
“Well, wait, you still have four more minutes,” she told him, “You never know what could happen.”
So Michael waited.
8:57
8:58
8:59
“Can I sit here?”
Michael looked up to see Alex standing there. He looked fucking beautiful as always which was just annoying. Was he here to rub it in?
“I’m saving it for someone,” Michael said. Alex took a deep breath and nodded.
“Yeah, I know.” And then he sat down.
Michael stared at him for a few seconds before he got what he was implying. But what he was implying was impossible. Complete and utter bullshit. Michael shook his head slowly.
“What?” he breathed, eyebrows tugged together. Alex shrugged one shoulder.
“Now that I’ve seen you shirtless, I’m second-guessing the cub label. Maybe an otter in the making? Not sure,” Alex said. Michael felt like he couldn’t breathe. What the fuck? What the fuck? “They’re closed. Drive me home?”
“I… I don’t…” Michael fumbled out. This didn’t make sense. Why was Alex here? He rejected him. He didn’t like him. He wasn’t… This wasn’t… What? “How?”
“I’ll tell you,” Alex promised, looking so sincere, “I promise.”
Michael stood slowly, his head spinning and he had to grab the table to balance himself. Alex was mad at him. Alex didn’t know him. Sure, Alex had the cheekbones and the physique and the lips and the voice and fuck.
“I don’t fucking get it,” Michael said as they stood beside his truck. Bean Me Up had locked their doors and closed the blinds to give them their privacy. Alex was holding his drink since he was too lost to comprehend.
“I talked to Liz and she kinda explained to me that I was being irrational. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and I definitely shouldn’t have hidden this from you. I should’ve just talked to you and I’m sorry for being selfish,” Alex said sincerely. It sounded way more sincere than when he’d freaked out on him. But, still, he couldn’t figure it out. He almost didn’t even care about the rejection anymore.
“I don’t understand how it was you,” Michael said, shaking his head, “I would’ve known. I mean, I should’ve . I hung around you, I heard you speak, I smelled you. How didn’t I know?” He paused for a moment. “You’re not fucking with me, are you?”
Alex gave a tight little smile and shook his head.
“I wasn’t out. I’m still not, not really,” he sighed, “Look, when I told you I’d been idolizing you for years… I wasn’t lying. When I saw my opportunity, I took it and didn’t even think twice about what it meant. Then when we started hanging out, I was in too deep and I didn’t know how to bring it up. Then I got confused and, well, that ended badly.”
Michael rubbed his hand over his face, still trying to make sense of it all. “So, you don’t think I only want you for money?”
Alex visibly cringed. “I am so, so sorry for accusing you of that. I guess I just didn’t think you could like me and you mentioned the weekend and over the weekend you’d mentioned my dad’s money and, I don’t know, it was just a lot happening in my mind. Which isn’t an excuse. That was shitty of me and I will make it up to you.”
“Yeah,” Michael breathed, “I guess… I guess I’m just still…”
Alex sighed loudly and placed the cup on the hood of the truck before stepping into Michael’s space. He grabbed his cheeks and he kissed him. It wasn’t as wild as that one in the booth, but it was still a kiss from Alex. And then it made sense.
Michael went to push in closer, but Alex pulled away.
“Not here,” he whispered, “I just wanted to show you I’m not lying.”
Michael nodded. He knew he wasn’t. He’d been dreaming about that kiss and he’d been dreaming about Alex and suddenly it just was all one and it was all real and it was all here. Again, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, but for an entirely different reason.
“Can we go to the shed?” Alex asked. Michael gulped softly and nodded. There was nothing he wanted more. He was allowed to touch Alex. He could have that.
The drive to Alex’s house was very full of Alex apologizing in length. He explained that he was just overwhelmed and confused, but he should’ve talked it out first. He told him that the kiss was a spur of the moment and he told him that he’d been crushing on him forever. He confirmed that the weekend had meant a lot to him too. And he told him that he was gay.
“You’re only the second person I’ve told,” Alex said, “So… I’m still trying to figure it all out.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to come out until you’re ready,” Michael assured him once he found his words.
“I mean, I kinda don’t have a choice now. People are gonna want to know if you found your guy,” Alex said, taking a sip of Michael’s coffee. That did things to his mind that something as simple as sharing a cup shouldn’t do.
“Fuck them, it’s our business. I can just tell Isobel and Rosa that I found him, but not elaborate on who and then everyone else can fuck off,” Michael decided as he drove the bumpy terrain that led to the shed from the back way. Alex huffed a laugh.
“You can tell Isobel and Rosa,” he said.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. They love you, so they deserve to know that I’m not fucking torturing you. Or, at least I hope not.”
“You aren’t.”
When they got to the shed, Michael sent both Isobel and Rosa a text to tell them how it went. Then he focused on Alex which was easy.
The tone between them changed as they got into the sanctuary of the shed. It felt slightly tainted from the last time they’d been there, but then again, not really. It was just that they were alone now.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said again.
“Stop apologizing,” Michael said, slowly moving closer. He wanted to get his hands on him. He wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to make up for three months of being lost.
“I’m not experienced,” Alex warned as Michael gently grabbed his hips.
“I don’t care.”
“I’m sorry,” Alex said one more time. Michael huffed and shook his head, wrapping his arms around Alex and tilting his head for a kiss.
The kiss was slow and deliberate, taking it one step at a time. Michael wanted to soak in it this time. He wanted to be sure without a doubt that this was Alex and that this was his. This was his choice.
Alex wove his fingers into his hair and his lips parted, his tongue sliding over Michael’s in a way that was far too confident for a boy who claimed to have no experience. His hands moved up and his elbows rested on Michael’s shoulders so he could cradle his head closer. This made sense. This was coming home.
Michael pushed his shirt up to feel his skin. It was soft and warm and inviting. They made their way to the tiny bed and shared it for the first time. They fit well. His hand moved down a little bit to the hem of his jeans only to be stopped by Alex’s hand on his wrist.
“Not today, okay?” Alex whispered. Michael nodded easily. Happily, even. This was new. Slow. He could do slow.
“No problem,” he said, “No pressure.”
Alex stayed the night in the shed that night. Michael finally got his kisses and his cuddles. He finally got Alex.
As he drifted off to sleep with Alex in his arms, he thought about those initials on the wall. He decided that the story didn’t matter. It was two people who loved each other and this shed meant something to them. He made a mental note to add another heart.
A.M. + M.G.