Chapter Text
"So, I suppose your older kids won't want to come to Jim's wedding but maybe Cass would be interested ? What about Damian ? Socializing with people from a humbler background for a bit could do him some good." Hal asked once they were home.
Amelia was drowsing in his arms. He should have let her sleep in her crib but he didn't want to leave her side. Not yet. She could sleep in her room later. She was alive and well and he had missed her so, so much.
"You really want to bring Damian to your brother's wedding ?" Bruce asked.
He looked doubtful as he sat in the armchair opposite to Hal.
"Why not ? He's going to love his cousin Julia. She's Jack's second child and a hellion about his age that can't resist a good fight. Arthur's a bit younger and quieter but he knows a lot of animal facts, I am sure they'll get along." Hal said, shrugging.
Amelia mumbled something and opened her eyes briefly. He stroked her thin brown hair and didn't see Bruce's troubled gaze.
Hal's niece wasn't Damian's cousin by any stretch of the imagination and it wasn't like they were still playing pretend. Which reminded him...
"Hal. When is the wedding ?" Bruce asked abruptly.
"Jim said August, I think." Hal said, looking up.
"It's five months from now." Bruce pointed out.
"Um." Hal said, distracted by his daughter's sleepy mumbles.
He loved looking at her. He loved feeling her warmth. She was very much alive and absolutely fine - it was taking a lot of his willpower to remember that.
"How long are we going to pretend we're together ?" Bruce asked.
He looked quite annoyed at the situation.
"Ah. Um. Sorry, I didn't want to make this awkward. I didn't realize you were seeing someone." Hal said.
He hadn't thought he was forcing Bruce's hand here.
"I am not." Bruce said, shaking his head.
"What's wrong, then ?" Hal asked.
Of course they couldn't do this forever but it would only be for Jim's wedding.
"You do realize fake dating people isn't something most people do, do you ? Are you planning for us to fake date each other forever ? Amelia's barely one, but she's going to grow up and ask for answers at some point, you've realized that ?"
"I am not stupid. But I don't see my family that often. You won't need to pretend for months, just one day. That shouldn't be too hard." Hal said, frowning at Bruce.
In his arms, Amelia started to feel heavier.
"But it is, Hal." Bruce said and he left the room before Hal could utter another word.
Hal would have gone after him if he wasn't holding a sleeping child. He sighed, wondering why he and Bruce could never have peaceful, smooth conversations and took Amelia to her bedroom.
He wondered briefly if she had changed rooms and if he would have to check what seemed to be hundreds of rooms before finding her crib but the room she had been sleeping in before Hal had to leave was still obviously hers even if something had felt different the second he had stepped in.
Maybe it was the shelves stuffed with colorful books and wooden toys. Maybe it was the family pictures in the room and the drawings on the wall.
Or maybe it was the new addition above Amelia's crib. Hal's mobile. Well, the one he had drawn the schematics for, anyway. It looked just as good as he had hoped for.
Hal put Amelia down in her crib. She didn't even stir. He had planned to draw the curtains to let the baby sleep but was now looking around the room to have a better glimpse at his daughter's world.
The mobile looked really good. Bruce must have spent quite some time on it. Hal pressed the button on it and looked at the planets chasing each other. He stopped smiling when he noticed the green figure that hadn't been on his drawings. A Green Lantern plushie was flying along the planets.
He hadn't been able to look after his daughter for all these months. Knowing some plushie rendition of him had looked over her in her sleep didn't make him feel better about the situation.
He turned around with the firm intention of going out of the room only to meet his own gaze.
He hadn't paid much attention to them and was a bit surprised to find some pictures of him along with pictures of Bruce and the kids with Amelia.
Bruce must have asked some people to get some of the pictures. Or at the very least he must have got them from Hal's flat. That was oddly touching.
"Hal ?"
He turned around and found Bruce on the doorstep, holding what looked like a baby monitor. Hal had no idea how long he had stood here, trying to find out more about their baby's life. He nodded and waited for Bruce to plug the monitor in before following him out of the room. Bruce had barely closed the door that Hal had pressed him against the wall.
"Hal, what are you doing ?" Bruce demanded to know, unmoving.
"What I want. That is, if you want that too."
Hal hadn't moved either, apparently letting that decision to Bruce.
"Hal, it's not a good idea -" Bruce started saying but he closed his eyes and tilted his head when Hal cupped his face, quickly capitulating.
They needed this.
They managed to reach Bruce's room, still glued to each other and quite disheveled.
Their lovemaking was urgent and graceless and much clumsier than their usual, but their usual hadn't happened for about ten years so the rules weren't clearly defined.
Afterwards, they laid side by side, still half dressed.
"Where did you get all those pictures in Miracle's bedroom ?" Hal asked, arranging his clothes.
"Dinah and Barry had taken some. Clark and Lois too. Reporters. You know how they are." Bruce said.
Hal nodded.
"Amelia has more of them. Pictures of you, I mean. Jessica had some with members of the Corps and we had others where you're in GL's gear. Tim and I have been working on a photo album for her. So she could know you a bit."
Because you had died, Bruce didn't say. Hal rolled over to have a better look at him.
"Thank you."
"We thought you were dead. It was the least I could do for her." Bruce said quietly, meeting his gaze.
They stayed silent for a bit.
"Hal, what does that mean ?" Bruce said, doing the Zzel-i's sequence one more time on Hal's torso.
Hal pushed Bruce's hand away softly before he could finish it but didn't shy away from his gaze.
"I like the sound of your heart beating, if you’re looking for the literal translation." he said very matter-of-factly.
"What about a literary one ?"
Hal looked at the high ceiling.
"That’s the way Zzel-i’s partners say I love you to each other. But you knew that, didn’t you ?" he asked before looking back at Bruce.
“I had my suspicions. When she was a small baby, I used to tell Amelia she was safe when she woke up at night. Well, I thought I was telling her that. But Clark saw me do it once and told me I signed parental love wrong.”
He didn't say more, patiently waiting for Hal's explanation.
“Look, it was more than ten years ago. I don’t want to talk about this.” Hal said after a short pause, rubbing his eyes.
How much more sleep could he need ?
“You could have told me.” Bruce objected.
He sounded… oddly sad ? Hal shrugged.
“To what end ? We stopped seeing each other a few weeks after."
Hal had fallen asleep there not long after. He kept falling asleep unexpectedly these days. When he had woken up, Bruce was no longer there.
He went out into the corridor and checked on Amelia, still asleep. He saw Cass walking in the corridor when he went out of his daughter's room and waved. The teenager only hesitated for a second before taking the three steps separating them and throwing her arms around him. Hal stroked her hair the way he stroked his daughter's, figuring it would do.
"Hey. It's good to see you again, Cass. How have you been doing ? You did something with your hair, right ? Is this a new haircut ? You look great."
The kid shook her head, smiling, and took Hal's wrist to drag him after her.
Family reunion, Hal supposed. It warmed his heart a bit.
Indeed, Cass had dragged him into the living-room.
The first kid he spotted was Jason. He went to meet him. The young adult frowned.
"I've never got to thank you for bringing your baby sister back to the manor that day and keeping her safe." Hal said. "And knowing your Dad, he may have forgotten to do so at the time, so I am doing it now. Thank you, Jason." Hal said.
"Stop calling him that." Jason said.
He looked quite uncomfortable. Hal supposed that not unlike Bruce sometimes, the kid didn't know how to deal with sincere thanks. He ignored him and went on.
"For that and for helping your Dad out with her when I wasn't there." he said.
He meant it. And he also thought Bruce deserved to be considered as all his kids' father.
"Hal, for fuck's sake !"
"Language." Hal said, smiling at Jason a last time before looking for his next target, a grumpy looking kid who looked a lot like his father.
"Baby Bruce. " Hal said, ruffling his hair and getting his hand back quickly enough to keep it from being maimed.
"Jordan, stop that ! What are you even doing here ?" Damian complained, flattening his hair but it lacked the usual heat.
"Thank you for the warm welcome, kid." Hal laughed.
"I am not a kid." Damian hissed.
"Of course. You're a brave warrior who also happens to be underage, is that right ? You're not too old for a hug, are you ?"
Damian protested as Hal wrapped his arms around him but didn't kick and only swore at him once, which he considered a victory.
Tim and Duke joined them and Hal greeted them.
"So, what happened with the Dlivans, exactly ? Bruce didn't tell us." Jason asked after some time.
"He doesn't know." Hal said.
And he had been grateful that Bruce hadn't pried. Which wasn't his usual method but he may have thought Hal would tell him about it eventually.
Flashes of blood and dirt crossed Hal's mind. He focused on his breathing. Those were not memories he wanted to revive.
"Really ?" Duke asked, sounding curious.
He was probably confused by their dynamics. Hal himself was.
"I don't want to talk about it." he said a bit more firmly.
Amelia was okay, she was sleeping in her sleep. Bruce was probably brooding somewhere. Things were good, Hal tried to reassure himself.
"Maybe you can tell us a little." Tim coaxed him.
The kids didn't mean any harm, they were just being nosy. Hal felt nauseous. There was dirt under his nails, he could feel the sun warming his back
"Were you a prisoner ?" Damian asked with just a little too much enthusiasm to be healthy.
"Look, kids -" Hal said, trying to blink the desert away.
He could hear cries now.
"Come on, Hal." Tim insisted.
Was it Tim ? It sounded like his voice but Hal couldn't see the room clearly.
There was some bundle at his feet. He knelt, trying to get a better look despite his dread. No. Don't do that Hal. You know what you'll find. It isn't real.
"I-"
Hal tried to resist but his gestures were automatic. He lifted the bundle of cloth, lifted one corner.
"No. No." Hal said.
It wasn't real. He could hear agitation around him but Hal wasn't listening anymore, hugging the lifeless tiny body against his chest.
He only came back to reality when he felt cold hands on his temples. Blue eyes met his own brown ones. Bruce hadn't been there before, he was sure of it. He had been left alone to bury their child.
Hal blinked, focusing on Bruce's face. There was no body to bury because their child was alive. This was reality. He buried his hands in the rug he was sitting on and tried to let that sink in.
"Breathe." Bruce said.
Hal hadn't even noticed there was something wrong with his breathing until then.
"Are you okay ?" Bruce asked a few minutes later.
Hal nodded. He didn't remember sitting down but Bruce was kneeling in front of him.
"Amelia ?" he asked in a shaky voice.
"She's okay. You're home. Everyone's okay. I am sorry." Bruce said softly.
"Don't be mad at them. They were curious. Can we go see our daughter ?"
Bruce nodded and helped him up. The baby was still asleep and they didn't stay in her room for long.
"The mobile… you built it. You used my drawings to make it." Hal said as they sat in another room.
This Manor had too many rooms. Hal had no idea how people found each other in this house. Probably through tracking devices, he thought.
"I did. I wasn't certain about Vemahadze's colors so Clark volunteered to investigate and take pictures for me. I couldn't know if the picture did it justice and I didn't go there myself so I hope it's accurate."
"You hope it's acc- you know you’re batshit crazy, right ? You sent Clark on another planet - it's pronounced zee-eh, not zeh by the way - to have color references for our baby's mobile ?" Hal asked, his eyes widening.
What the hell. Who did that ? Hal has met a lot of aliens in his life but none had been as much of an interesting study than Bruce.
"When you say it like that…"
Bruce almost sounded sheepish and Hal grabbed his wrist.
"Hey, it's great. I am happy that Miracle will have no trouble recognizing Vemahadze from Seoa when she'll be older. Hey, have you ever taken Damian to the public observatory in Gotham ?"
"That's more your area." Bruce admitted.
Well, he was pretty sure they had prevented a villain from stealing pricey equipement there at some point but that was probably not what Hal meant.
"Let me guess, there was an exhibition about bats at the Museum of Natural History and you took him there instead." Hal huffed.
"You're an idiot. And who goes to observatories when they have the possibilities you have ?" Bruce asked, arching an eyebrow at him.
"Nostalgic people. My Dad used to take Jack and I to the one in Coast City."
Bruce nodded. He didn't say he was sorry and Hal was glad for it.
"On Dliva, I realized how bad things were when I started seeing him." he admitted, his head low.
"Hal." Bruce said but the other man didn't stop.
He knew he couldn't. If he did, he would never tell that story and Bruce needed to hear it. Hal may even need to tell it.
"I knew I was being drugged but it was so hard to remember he couldn't be there. He kept me sane in some way, because I knew the scenes he was in, standing in the background, couldn't be real. He didn't even get to be as old as I am today."
That feeling was familiar to Bruce. Their life stories were quite different but it was fascinating to see how they intersected occasionally.
"Dad wasn't the worst part of it. I've seen Amelia being taken from us way too many times, and some of those times were worse than others. The nightmare you wake me from wasn't bad, comparatively speaking."
Hal's hands were trembling. Bruce took them into his to steady them. They weren't cold anymore and Hal appreciated their warmth.
"I dug a hole with my own hands to give our baby a tomb several times. I kissed her ice cold forehead and covered her with dirt. I sponged the blood on her with my own shirt. I tried to reanimate her and broke her tiny ribs so many times I can still hear the bones break when I am awake."
Hal was looking at his hands now. Bruce was quite certain he was seeing them covered in blood. He thought of Jason's corpse. What it had done to him. Of Amelia's. What it would do to him. What it had done to Hal. His blood ran cold and he held Hal's hands tighter.
"I don't know what the girl in my cell was seeing or how long she had been there or if the drugs they gave her were different but she tore her face off. She didn't survive. It was one of the nurses that looked after Amelia. Her name was Ritna. She… she was the one who put Miracle in my arms for the first time. She looked as young as Cass but for all I know she could have been old enough to be my great-grandmother." Hal murmured.
Bruce had heard that tone from Hal before, when they hadn't been able to save everyone.
He had heard Ritna's name before, from Hal.
"She helped us escape." he stated, quite certain of it.
"She was the rebel princess' lover. She paid for that." Hal said, nodding.
"What happened, Hal ?" Bruce asked.
Hal focused on their linked hands. His companion's gaze was too incisive.
"I - When I got there, we prepared for war. The fights lasted two weeks until the princesses were betrayed by one of their own, Nexar. Nexar joined the Queen's side. The Queen won but Nexar killed her and took her place. Many of the princesses ran away and exiled themselves. The rest fought. Nexar had powerful magicians at her side. Many people died." Hal explained. "The rest of us were put in jail. The rebel princess that the queen wanted to marry to me escaped."
Hal took a deep breath.
"I was knocked unconscious during the last battle. The cell I was in was resistant to the ring's power. Worst of all, it drained it. I was surprised to find Ritna here, I've not heard of her since the first battle. Without the ring, I could only understand bouts of what she was saying. I couldn't make sense of the few sentences I could grasp. I thought she was feverish and delirious. And then I tried the water and the food they gave us and experienced my first visions. At least Miracle was alive in these ones. I don't know how long it lasted. Months, apparently."
Hal paused for a few seconds, remembering the horror of it all. Thankfully, Bruce's hands around his were enough to ground him. He looked back at Bruce.
"I couldn't have said if it had been only weeks or full years when I was released. The rebel princess had got some help from cousins from the South and took over the throne. She was devastated when I told her about Ritna. They had children. They had kept their relationship and family a secret because Ritna wasn't nobility." Hal said. "Bruce, I was so close to lose it and follow Ritna's example, I could have -"
Hal choked on his words.
"You didn't. Hal, what happened to Ritna is terrible but you are here and our daughter isn't an orphan."
Hal nodded. He was aware of that, but the reminder couldn't hurt. He met Bruce's eyes once again and found the courage to go on. He could do it, as long as Bruce was there with him, not letting go of Hal's hands.
"I know. I know. So, the rebel princess took over, burnt and destroyed in front of me all documents related to us or Amelia - except her Dlivan birth certificate, I kept that - and let me go back home with one of her ships and two of her people that I've fought with in the first battle. Loyal people."
"That's all ?" Bruce asked after some time.
"Well, I asked for a small detour and reported to the Corps. They sent some of our people there. No, I don't think we should send someone from the League." Hal said when Bruce opened his mouth.
"Do you know why they tortured you ?" Bruce asked.
It was funny, how words could make you feel. Hal hadn't thought of this one until the rebel princess called his jailing conditions thus. Psychological torture. It was what it had been. Hal had been tortured. Now Bruce was using this words again.
Hal looked down at their joined hands. Usually, his weren't so pale. The sun didn't graze his skin much in his Dlivan cell.
"Hal ?"
"Apparently, Nexar - the traitor princess - only considered me as another war prisoner and didn't have any interest in Lanterns. Psychological torture is classical war prisoner's treatment there, according to the rebel princess. She promised to change that but since she beheaded Nexar herself, I won't hold my breath."
"Considering what happened to Ritna, I can't really blame the rebel princess." Bruce commented.
"Me neither. I wasn't even conscious when Ritna died. We seldom were. She was alone in the end."
Bruce didn't tell him it was probably better that way but he thought about it. He couldn't have saved her anyways and the spectacle of her death would have been even more traumatizing.
"It's not your fault. Did they hurt you physically too ?"
Hal shook his head but didn't elaborate.
"No. I tried to stop from eating and drinking entirely for a while. I only gained headaches and had nightmares instead of visions."
Bruce stayed silent for a while, drawing random symbols on Hal's hands with his thumbs.
"What about your back ? You said it hurt." he pointed out after a moment.
"Only if you apply too much pressure. I collapsed in the rebel princess' arms. Her guards thought I was attacking her and one threw me against a wall before the princess could explain. I got some bruises but they're almost healed."
Bruce frowned and Hal bursted into laughter. Bruce smiled hesitantly at him. It had sounded quite genuine but he had the feeling that Hal was mocking him.
"Miracle kept frowning earlier. She does it the way you do. She's going to have wrinkles before I do."
"I have bad news for you." Bruce said, smirking.
"Shut up." Hal said, pulling his hands out of Bruce's light grip.
"Make me." Bruce challenged him.
It had been an innocent remark. Or so Bruce had thought until he said it and saw Hal's eyes darken slightly.
"My pleasure." the Lantern said, closing the space between them.
"For the record, I love your wrinkles." Bruce said as they separated for a second.
Hal laughed and kissed Bruce again.
"My eyes !" someone piped and they jumped apart. "Oh, my eyes !"
"Jason, don't tell me you've never seen people kiss." Bruce sighed.
His son was on the doorstep, his hand covering his eyes dramatically.
"That was a kiss ? You were eating each other's faces !" he said loudly.
"God helps us." Bruce muttered.
"You're not the first kid who's seen his parents kiss, you should be alright." Hal commented at the same time.
It owed him two surprised glances.
"What the hell. I thought I was done with the father figures." Jason muttered.
"I - I didn't mean it that way." Hal said slowly when he noticed the way Bruce was looking at him.
It was just some jab, right ? He hadn't exactly thought about it. But Bruce was still looking at him intently.
"Were you looking for me or Bruce ?" Hal asked.
"I was only an innocent passerby who found an unlocked door and got the shock of his life." Jason said. "That and another load of daddy issues, apparently." he added as an afterthought.
"I said -"
"Yes, yes. Alfred said dinner would be ready soon, so if you want to finish your business…" Jason said before closing the door.
He reopened half a second later, one of his hands hiding his eyes again.
"Oh and think about the lock this time." he added with an outrageous wink.
Bruce and Hal shared a look.
"Listen, it's just… I don't know why I said it like that. Well, Jason is Amelia's brother and I am Amelia's dad so I guess my brain just thought it would be fun or something."
Bruce stayed silent.
"So ?" Hal asked after a while.
"It's nice to see it happen to others, too." Bruce said.
If Hal didn't know better, he would have thought Bruce was trying not to laugh at him.
"What are you talking about ?"
He couldn't make sense of what Bruce was trying to tell him.
"Accidental parenthood." Bruce answered.
"I told you that -" Hal started saying.
"Oh, I am not speaking about Jason. Or even Amelia, for the fact."
"I don't get it." Hal said.
Bruce looked at him, calculating, before deciding what he could tell Hal.
"Damian complained that he was too old for being hugged and having his hair ruffled when I saw him earlier. Dick called me to tell him he had a video call with Cass and that she signed to him that you touched her hair like she was a baby and wondered if it meant you wanted to be her Dad too. He also told me that you were in full Dad mode when you texted him about being alive."
"I wasn't !" Hal protested.
Bruce arched an eyebrow at him.
"What did you tell him ?"
"That despite aliens' best efforts I was still alive and that we should hang out so he could tell me what was going on with his job, the city and his fiancee." Hal said and he winced at his own words.
"Hence why Dick suggested we should have another kid before you tried to adopt all of them."
"He… what ?" Hal said, eyes widening.
"I can't wait to hear from Tim and Duke."
"I am sorry, I didn't mean -" Hal said, rubbing the nape of his neck.
"Hal, please don't be. I know things between us have not always been easy, but you're family." Bruce said.
"If you don't mind." he added when Hal was a bit slow to answer.
"I like having a family of my own. And I like that it's yours." Hal said softly.
He almost hadn't said the second part. Almost. Something changed in Bruce's eyes.
"Hal, if there's any chance that you're still feeling some of what you felt ten years ago, you should tell me now."
Hal nodded. He raised his left hand to Bruce's face and touched Bruce's cheek with it and did the same with his right hand and Bruce's other cheek.
Then he used three fingers to tap twice over Bruce's heart.
"All of it. More." he said.
Bruce grabbed Hal's hand that had stayed suspended over his heart and kissed it.
"Why didn't you say anything ?"
"You've yet to tell me you feel the same." Hal remarked.
He knew Bruce did, now. He just wanted to hear it.
"I love you so much, Hal." Bruce said, touching his face lightly.
"You'd think the detective would have realized I've been in love with him for ten years." Hal said.
"You didn't exactly act like it." Bruce retorted.
"You misread the situation. I was trying to hide my feelings for the guy who has dumped me. Oh, by the way, can I finally get an explanation ?"
Bruce hadn't given him much of one when they had broken up at the time.
"I had just taken Dick in and we were so young… I didn't want you to be forced to become a father when life could have had other things to offer to you."
"I understand that but why, why didn't you let me make that choice on my own ? I am not saying I would have stayed, I don't know that, but I would have liked to have the option. I would have resented you less." Hal admitted.
"Are you going to stay ?" Bruce asked after a few seconds.
"Tonight ? Uh, yes ?" Hal said, confused.
He thought it had been obvious enough.
"Of course you're staying tonight. I meant it in a more permanent way."
"We need to talk about it more but yes, I'd like to, if you're okay with it." Hal said, nodding.
Bruce looked relieved.
"You can keep your own room if you want but if you're interested, there's enough room for the both of us in my bedroom."
"I am going to take you up on your offer, I think. Your bedroom has a better view." Hal said, closing his arms around Bruce.
"Shouldn't Amelia be up ?" he asked, his head resting against Bruce's shoulder.
He let his hands run over Bruce's arms to forget the feel of dirt in them.
"I gave the monitor to Cassandra earlier." Bruce told him. "Don't worry, our daughter never forgets about dinner, she's probably been up for a little while. Speaking of dinner, if you want to stay in Alfred's good graces, we better get to the dining-room."
Hal took a nervous look at the door.
"Okay. So, what are the rules here ? Do we pretend we're not together this time ?" he asked.
"No. Jason has probably already told the others and if he hadn't, I still think we should tell them. Not to mention they're going to notice you staying in my room." Bruce said.
He didn't add that he didn't want for Hal to struggle more with what was real or what wasn't.
Things would be fine. They just needed some more time to make them so.