Work Text:
INT. JULIAN’S HOME OFFICE: LATE MORNING
An older JULIAN BASHIR is tapping through various files on his computer, muttering to himself about the record he’s looking for. After a moment, JADZIA appears, completely still like a photograph. This startles BASHIR, who jumps.
BASHIR
Jadzia? [peers at the screen information] I must have accessed your personnel file—but hang on, how did I get there? Why would that be in the ambassador database?
[Yells offscreen ]
Garak? Garak, did you—
[Turns back to screen]
Oh, never mind. He probably wouldn’t give me a straight answer on whether this is his file, anyway. Overgrown lizard.
[Ponders the image for a moment]
By God, I do miss you, Jadzia.
[L eans in, noticing something is off]
But wait. This can’t be right. You didn’t have grey in your hair.
JADZIA
Neither did you, but you also have quite the impressive beard now.
BASHIR
[quite startled]
Jadzia?!
JADZIA
[fondly]
Hello, Julian.
BASHIR
Jadzia, are you—are you real? I mean, is this real?
JADZIA
Oh, Julian. Surely you know better than to think about the universe as anything binary like real/imagined anymore.
BASHIR
Fair point. But…you’re here.
JADZIA
It would seem so.
BASHIR
But you’re also—I mean, I—I transferred Dax.
JADZIA
Thank you for that. You always did take good care of Dax. And me.
BASHIR
I am a doctor.
JADZIA
And a friend.
BASHIR
[slightly embarrassed]
So, how? How are you here?
JADZIA
Your guess is as good as mine. Were you looking for me?
BASHIR
Well, no. I was—that is—I was actually—this might be easier if I knew what you know. I don’t know how you’re here, but do you know when “here” is? Or any of what’s going on in the universe?
JADZIA
If you’re asking do I know what’s going on with you or why you have a beard and it’s gone almost white, no. Though the beard looks good on you. Very distinguished.
BASHIR
Ah, thanks. Well, so, then you wouldn’t—well, Elim, I mean, Garak, is the Cardassian ambassador to the Federation now. I was looking for some files about a presentation he’s doing soon on post-war child development—we won the war, by the way, but at the expense of hundreds of millions of Cardassian lives, and he’s doing this presentation on the effect of Federation involvement in Cardassian pediatric health. He told me I should present it myself, but I think they need to hear it from a Cardassian.
JADZIA
Wait, you and Garak?
BASHIR
Ah, well, yes.
JADZIA
Oh, I KNEW it! Julian, I’m so happy for you!
BASHIR
Wait, what? What do you mean, you “knew” it? I didn’t know it.
JADZIA
Oh, Julian. You didn’t know a lot of things.
BASHIR
[slightly miffed]
Thanks a lot.
JADZIA
But I have the feeling you know a lot more things, now. What were you thinking about while you were searching? I don’t think Cardassian child development is really what brought me around.
BASHIR
Well, no. I—I was thinking about Nog, actually.
JADZIA
Nog?
BASHIR
Yeah. Oh, Jadzia, you should have seen him—he became captain of his own ship, you know? Rom was so proud—but then Rom is Grand Nagus now, too, so that family seems to be nothing but gamechangers.
JADZIA
Are you serious? That’s wonderful! I bet Quark is just horrified all the way around.
BASHIR
Of course! But even he was hiding a few tears at Nog’s promotion ceremony. It was such a proud moment.
[ reflectively ]
He died just over a year ago, Nog. The anniversary was recently and I guess I was thinking about him and—well, and all my absent friends.
JADZIA
[gently, but teasingly]
That certainly makes more sense than Cardassian child development.
BASHIR
[clearing his throat]
So, I guess, how’s Sto-Vo-Kor?
JADZIA
What makes you think I’m there?
BASHIR
[shocked]
We—but we—that is, Worf and Martok and Miles and I and even Quark—we blew up the Monac shipyards. To get you in. There was a whole battle with the Jem’Hadar and—are you saying it didn’t work?!
JADZIA
That would be telling, Julian.
BASHIR
Oh, so—you’re in?
JADZIA
Thank you for your heroism, Julian, especially on my behalf.
BASHIR
[embarrassed]
I mean, it was Worf’s plan, but you’re—well, you’re welcome. I did love you, Jadzia. I love you still.
JADZIA
I know.
BASHIR
But I also love Ezri—she’s the one who got Dax next. She’s brilliant; you’d like her. I love her still, too, but—well, it’s all different kinds of love, I guess.
JADZIA
Of course it is, Julian! This is one of those things you didn’t know then, but you seem to have learned it. I’m proud of you. There are so many ways to love someone else, and none of them are more “real” or “true” than the others. They’re just different.
BASHIR
I really do miss you, Jadzia.
JADZIA
So you and Garak are a thing, and it sounds like you’re still working in medicine. How do you know so much about Cardassian child development? [ gasps] Julian, do you have a little Cardassian in your life?
BASHIR
[laughing]
Well, they’re hardly little anymore. Garak and I adopted a pair of orphans after we’d been together a while: Turec and Risha. Turec is in his 20s now and training to follow after Garak in politics—Garak is positively horrified by this, he tells everyone, but secretly I think he loves having someone he can teach all about how to maneuver people.
JADZIA
Oh, I believe it! Julian, this is so wonderful; I remember how Dax loved being a father. But you said two?
BASHIR
Yes, two. The younger is Risha; she’s actually in Starfleet Academy, training to be a science officer—like you.
JADZIA
Does she know about me?
BASHIR
I may have told her a few stories. And she’s met Ezri a couple of times, and she’s asked me about a million questions about what being in the service means.
JADZIA
A Cardassian in Starfleet—a Bashir Cardassian in Starfleet, no less. She’ll have quite some shoes to fill.
BASHIR
[proudly]
And she’ll fill them amply. Turec and Risha are very much their own people and they’re incredibly strong. They’re giving Garak and I a lot of hope for this generation—though Garak would never admit it outright, of course.
JADZIA
Of course. Fatherhood seems to suit you.
BASHIR
Well, it’s definitely not something I ever thought would happen. But…it feels right, and I do love them rather a lot.
JADZIA
As you should.
BASHIR
[quietly]
I’m so sorry you never got the chance to have a family, Jadzia.
JADZIA
Oh, Julian, still learning things—what makes you say I never had a family? Because Worf and I were never able to have children? But we had you, and the chief, and Benjamin and Kira and Odo and Quark and everyone else on the station. There are all different kinds of family. Be careful with a word like that—it can mean whatever you want it to mean, which is absolutely great. You should know that, after all.
BASHIR
[suddenly realizing]
Oh! Benjamin!
JADZIA
What about him? Is he okay?
BASHIR
Um, I guess? He—well, he sort of became a god, at the end of the war. He doesn’t really exist on our plane anymore, though I hear he drops in from time to time.
JADZIA
[amused]
Did he now? Well done, Benjamin.
BASHIR
But maybe—maybe he’s the one who orchestrated this, who brought you here.
JADZIA
A literal deus ex machina ?
BASHIR
Like you said, we’ve seen weirder things.
JADZIA
We have indeed. Well, if that’s the case:
[ Calling offscreen]
thank you, Benjamin! I appreciate being able to talk to my friend and hear about his lovely family.
[Turning back to BASHIR]
I am very glad to see you, Julian.
BASHIR
And I you. I wish you—well, I wish…
JADZIA
So you were thinking of Nog?
BASHIR
Yeah. He’s a bit older than Turec and, when we were on the station, I never thought of him in any kind of fatherly way—the idea of being a father was pretty foreign, after all. But I was able to go to the funeral last year and I saw Rom and—well, I could sympathize, just a little. I can’t imagine losing Turec. And then it made me think about just how many loved ones we’ve lost.
JADZIA
Not lost, Julian.
BASHIR
[placating]
Right, because you live on in my memory.
JADZIA
No, because we lived at all. Do you know what I learned when I first joined with Dax?
BASHIR
Quite a few things, I’d imagine.
JADZIA
Yes, but one of the things that I really began to understand was that every single interaction changes the people involved. We are all affecting each other, all the time. Take you; you are not the same “you” that would have existed had you not met Garak, right?
BASHIR
Decidedly not.
JADZIA
But you’re also not the same “you” that you would have been if you hadn’t met me. I don’t just live in your memory, I live in your personality—in the fabric of who you’ve become. Nog, also, lives in the fabric of you. You were indelibly changed by us, and we were changed because of you. We’re not lost, Julian; we’re in every moment that you make a different decision than you could have because you knew us, because who you are is shaped by who we were with you.
BASHIR
All things considered, I’d prefer to have you than the fabric.
JADZIA
[laughs]
Well, I can understand that. But don’t you see? Because I’m alive in the fabric of you, now I’m alive in the fabric of Risha and her dreams of Starfleet. And I’m in Worf’s tolerance of others, however grudging. Nog is alive in the way Jake relates to aliens, and in Rom’s leadership of Fereginar. Even in the way Quark treats the people around him, however much he wouldn’t admit it. Do you remember when I asked you to host Torias during my zhian’tara ?
BASHIR
I do indeed; very fond of snacking, he was.
JADZIA
It helped me see some of the things that I had picked up from previous hosts. You don’t have to have a symbiont to glean habits and stories and quirks from others.
BASHIR
Sounds a bit mystical.
JADZIA
It’s a mystical universe, Julian.
BASHIR
Says the science officer!
JADZIA
Says the joined Trill who married a Klingon on a Bajoran space station built by the Cardassians while surrounded by her human friends. Science helped me understand some things and measure them out and explain them, but not everything. Some things are just complicated.
BASHIR
You sound like Nerys.
JADZIA
Well, she wasn’t wrong. [ pauses] We’re not lost, Julian. We’re just relocated.
BASHIR
Isn’t that actually the definition of lost?
JADZIA
Only if you don’t know where to look for the relocation.
BASHIR
Hmph.
[Ponders a moment]
Well, to present friends, then.
JADZIA
May we suitably annoy you in the best moments possible.
BASHIR
I’d toast to that.
JADZIA
But you should probably get back to your research.
BASHIR
I wish you were here. I really do miss you.
JADZIA
As you should.
[JADZIA’S screen goes blank and BASHIR stares for a moment, thinking. He reaches out to the screen and pulls his hand back.]
BASHIR
Whether it was you or not, thank you—Captain.
FIN