Southpark
(Open, Moderated)
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JEW BOX
He stopped in his retrieval and just blinked in bewilderment. As far as he was aware, there was only one Jew that Cartman knew and could have a box dedicated to. Curious, Kyle forgot about the pencil and dragged the box from under the bed instead. It was quite hefty, resisting when he pulled it. He managed to shimmy it out against its will and, crouched over it on his knees, he could see on the top, written across the lid in the same thick black marker as the writing on the side, was a warning.
DO NOT OPEN, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A JEW, OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS
Kyle checked over his shoulder. Cartman wasn't back yet, and Kyle couldn't hear his returning footsteps either. It was probably okay to take a quick peek inside then, just a little one…
Kyle opened the box.
*~*~*~*~*~*
When Kyle finds a curious box hidden under Cartman's bed, he thinks he knows what to expect from it. Though once he opens it, he rethinks everything he ever thought he knew.
(Title comes from the lyrics to Obsession by OK Go.)
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Eric Cartman and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Thanksgiving Day by TheStrangerWhoWrites
Fandoms: South Park
28 Nov 2025
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Eric believed it was just another thing they both understood silently. Kyle never questioned him too much about his nightmares; he had yet to bring up saving him from Snooki since it happened. The chubby man had planned to go the rest of his life without fully explaining to his partner all of the times he had been assaulted.
However, like many of his plans, it failed
(Please read the notes for a content warning.)
Series
- Part 2 of Kyman has infected my brain.
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Their new arrangement made Kyle’s body sway back and forth even more, as he winded up every punch. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! I hate you—” then, he stopped abruptly. His fist hung mid air, as he looked down at Cartman with a new, unreadable expression. His freckles hid under a blush that was now starting to form on his face. The room went quiet and then…
“Cartman, are you… Are you hard?”
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Or Eric Cartman's not-so-small problem, that Kyle unfortunately has to deal with.
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“And for our next performer- Bad Irene!” The slight feedback from the speakers did little to dull the roar of the crowd. The spotlight dimmed, focusing into a perfect circle around the front of the stage. Bass notes played as a chubby thigh revealed itself from behind a curtain, stepping languidly out into view. Red velvet, gracing the floor like pooled liquid, every bit of movement showing carefully sewn sequins as she made her way into the light.
Kyle felt his throat go dry.
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Some people need just a little push in order to have a little fun and let loose, and Cartman knows Kyle is the perfect candidate for such a thing. After seeing his piqued interest at a drag show Cartman takes it upon himself to knock Kyle out of his comfort zone and into the limelight- if only the bumps along the way didn't include Kyle's conflicting feelings about the idea or the man at hand.
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Summary
Cartman attempts to hypnotize Kyle. It backfires. Or does it?