Cougar’s clownzy works
Series Metadata
Listing Series
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Summary
Clownzy dancing bc I said so
“Oh, oh my, C-Clown! Scared me there.”
“I noticed. You should be more aware. This is Lifesteal, BranzyCraft. Some dangerous psychopath could sneak up on you and you would never know until they stabbed you.”
(He’s talking abt himself. If u couldn’t tell)
Edit: THANK YOU FOR 1K HITSSSS in celebration, I edited some of the formatting that had been bugging me for a while!
Series
- Part 1 of Cougar's Lifesteal ficsss
- Part 1 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Summary
Clown sounded sick when Parrot went to the nether during kings arc to get tnt for fighting cindercrest and I was like ‘dam bro, need a cough drop?’
Yeah.Clown’s tail swished idly and his breathing was slow. Calculated, but with a slight edge. One that he knew Parrot likely noticed, he was a smart one, but intelligently did not ask about.
Clown’s breath had a slight rasp to it, as did his voice.
Edit: I swear, writing clownzy is like putting those light things out for moths, u ppl FLOCK to clownzy stuff
Series
- Part 6 of Unstable fics go wheeee
- Part 2 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Summary
Clown was stuck in his head.
This did not happen often. Usually, Ferre was there to balance out his mind, keep him thinking, keep him on task.
But Ferre wasn’t here.
Or: clown has bad self esteem and branzy helps :)
Or: the moth lamp is backkkk
Series
- Part 3 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Look in the Mirror, what do you See? (make it go away, Please) by tea161
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP
02 Jul 2026
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Summary
Trans branzy is insecure. :( clown helps.
Branzy was standing in front of his wall mirror that he usually used to check his outfit before going out and working on the casino. He wasn’t doing that right now.
He was standing in front of the mirror in only his boxers and staring at his chest. Staring at the scars under his pecs.
Series
- Part 4 of Cougar's Lifesteal ficsss
- Part 4 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Summary
I can’t even blame anyone else for this. Sleepy clownzy cuddling.
Branzy woke up slowly. The way one would when woken from a deep, peaceful, dreamless sleep. He was warm. His pillow was warmer than usual. That was odd.
…his pillow was moving up and down in slow inhales and exhales. That was odder.
Branzy blinked his eyes open. Oh. His pillow is ClownPierce.
Series
- Part 5 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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My, what a… flexible spine you have. (Seriously, gods…) by tea161 for HuntDue
Fandoms: Unstable Universe (Web Series)
05 Jul 2026
Tags
Summary
Clown is flexible, Branzy is strong.
ClownPierce is an extremely flexible person. Which many people know, most of which by accident. He can’t even count how many people have walked in on him stretching for fun and have ended up running away without him even having to threaten them.
His husband was no exception. Well. Branzy knew that Clown was very flexible, he had heard of it, but he hadn’t seen it for himself.
Until today.
Series
- Part 6 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Secret Affair (with the wine guy???) by tea161
Fandoms: WHITEPINE - IvoryTV (Web Series)
18 Jul 2026
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Summary
Branzy owns a winery. Gay people ensue.
ClownPierce always enjoyed his free days. He did not get them often, so when he did, he always made the best of them.
He would wake, get dressed, eat breakfast with the rest of the staff, then head into town for the day. He never had to ponder long where to go or what to do. He always had the same destination in mind.
Wine by Craft.
Series
- Part 7 of Cougar’s clownzy works
- Part 1 of Whitepine
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Summary
Branzy’s face was calm. Soft in sleep. Or as soft as he can get while snoring. Which was still pretty cute, but.
Clown couldn’t ever imagine waking up like this with anyone else. Not a single other person would ever get to see him like this. Soft. And if Clown had anything to say about it, no one would be able to see Branzy like this either.
He would kill them before they even got close enough to.
Or: why I posted abt the pet names thing on my tumblr the other day.
Series
- Part 8 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Summary
It was Redd that brought the news to Branzy, one average Thursday afternoon. He had been closing up the winery, around four o’clock, when he received a knock on the front door. He brushed his hands on his vest, plastered a smile on his lips, and he went to the front, a pre planned response on his tongue.
“Sorry, but we are close-“ He cut off when he saw Redd. “Mr. Doons?” Branzy opened the door. “It’s a pleasure to see you, I-“
“Branzy.” Redd cut him off, rather frantically, out of breath and scared looking. “There’s- there was an incident. At Whitepine. The house went up in flames, and it- not many people made it out in time.”
Or: post the ending of Whitepine, I make the gays gay
Series
- Part 2 of Whitepine
- Part 9 of Cougar’s clownzy works
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Everybody Hides their Face, how could I have Noticed? by tea161 for HuntDue
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP
12 Sep 2026
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Summary
He wasn’t on edge at the moment, however. No one knew where his base was. Not a soul that currently had the ability to tell anyone, so he was fine. He could relax here.
He should have known. Lifesteal is not a place where you can relax, even in your own base. Even if no one knows, to your knowledge, where it is. Letting your guard down is death, and Clown knows that well.
So he should have known better than to let down his guard, to not have his scythe, to not even have his armor on because it dug at his skin and preferred not to wear it if possible. He should have known better. He did know better. He just wasn’t thinking.
Or: Clown actually freaking goes THROUGH it with his mask.
Series
- Part 6 of Cougar's Lifesteal ficsss
- Part 10 of Cougar’s clownzy works