EvilPharmacist
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“Behold! My Confessinator! With this I will shoot everyone in the Tri-State Area, causing them to immediately go and confess a secret to someone! Once everyone knows each other's dirty secrets the social order will break down and I will be able to step in and take over. The entire! Tri-State Area!” I laugh maniacally.
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OR Doofenshmirtz buys a hat from the Haberdasher (and develops a crush on him) and then accidentally shoots himself with his Confessinator
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A man in a white lab coat steps out of what looks like a bathroom. “A Platypus?” The man I assume is Dr. Doofenshmirtz says.
I put the fruit basket on a work bench. I walk over to the man and I hold out a business card that reads:
Agent P.
Perry The Platypus
Secret AgentHe takes the card from me and reads it. “Perry the Platypus!” He says.
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OR how did Doofenshmirtz learn Perry's name?
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I scream and flail my arms, hoping to catch ahold of something—anything. My hand catches on a smooth bar and I look up. I see my pet platypus—who it turns out is actually a secret agent—and I hear my brother say “I-I'm sorry, I'm just having trouble processing this right now.” I see Perry hand him a pamphlet “So You've Discovered Your Pet is a Secret Agent..." Phineas throws it over his shoulder—a shame really, I had been hoping to read it—“I don't want your pamphlet!”
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OR, What if Ferb remembers Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2D
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Vanessa came back a moment later with a small black hand mirror. “Look” she said as she held out the hand mirror so Doofenshmirtz could see his reflection. “A Platypus?” He questioned when he saw his reflection. Vanessa sighed and grabbed a small fedora that was laying on the floor. She put the fedora on Doofenshmirtz. He gasped. “Perry the Platypus!”
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OR a platonic Perryshmirtz bodyswap longfic
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Surprise! by EvilPharmacist
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
18 May 2026
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Rocky and Grace's eridian students throw Grace a birthday party
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A stupid idea I thought of a few days ago.
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Perry falls asleep on Candace's bed.
He wakes up with a blanket, a plush toy in his arms, and absolutely no explanation.
Candace refuses to discuss it.
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The last few days had been a bit- fuzzy? Last thing you recall happening is… huh. You aren’t sure. Was it the firefight in Moscow with Sergei? Or getting information in Vegas with Peter? You are positive you could point out on a calendar the last day you spent with your family before this mess.
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Perry has had a rough week. Heinz helps him reorient.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,536
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 93
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 647
Bookmarked by EvilPharmacist
05 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 370
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
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After witnessing his nemesis's increasingly worrisome behavior, Perry leaves Dr. D two things: the number for a suicide prevention hotline and his personal cell number. Perry should have known which one Dr. D would call.
(Tie-in with "A Platypus in a Fedora" but can be read as a stand-alone.)
Series
- Part 1 of A Platypus in a Fedora
Bookmarked by EvilPharmacist
04 Jun 2026