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Fuck around, find out by snake_mouth
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
24 May 2024
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Summary
“It’s been awhile,” Gwen offered in lieu of an answer.
“Oh of course. That’s what it’s been right, just a bit pent up? Clearly pent up enough to jump the bones of the first person kind enough to walk you home. Or are you like this ‘cause it happened to be me that got stuck with the misfortune?”
Gwen froze completely. Alice thought she had finally pushed her luck too far; even she could admit the last question was more wishful thinking than anything else. Though looking closer, the expression on Gwen’s face was remarkably guilty. Like she had been caught in the act. The dizzying implication of that meaning exactly what Alice thought it did coiled in her mind, constricting her doubt and swallowing it whole. It made her want to push even more.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
22 Dec 2025
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“Hey, Jon?” Martin isn’t moving. He sturdies himself, holding Jon back like an anchor. If Jon wanted to go, all he’d have to do is drop Martin’s hand, but he can’t. They’re holding hands. They’re meant to be holding hands. “Why did you say my mother was dead?”
“I don’t know,” Jon runs his free hand through his messy curls. When had his hair gotten so long? “It just popped into my head like a passing thought, like something I heard somewhere once. We haven’t known each other that long, Martin, I’m sure I just mixed you up with someone else at the Institute.”
“Like a memory?” Martin asks, quietly.
“Sure,” Jon says. “Like a memory.”
***
Between phantom earthquakes and visions of a terrifying future, something is very, very wrong at the Institute. And only Jon and Martin can see it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,110
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 123
- Kudos:
- 636
- Bookmarks:
- 180
- Hits:
- 7,111
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
01 Jan 2024
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"A real Padawan could have choked me," Shin says.
Sabine looks up, eyes dark and glassy and bright with emotion. She's hurting. The soft little lamb is hurting. She misses her master, misses her friend, her little lamb heart full to bursting with useless emotions that cannot save her.
"Shut up," Sabine hisses. Her voice is thick with shame and the sound of it is like a caress down Shin's spine.
(Or: Sabine and Shin talk, after the events on Seatos. Spoilers for Ahsoka 1.04)
Series
- Part 1 of space evanescence
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
17 Sep 2023
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Summary
Tom is a collection of compulsions, none of them quite healthy, and Greg might just be the worst of them.
Set during season 3.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
08 Jul 2022
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It's So Hard These Days To Play My Cards Right by neglectedtuesday
Fandoms: Succession (TV 2018)
05 Oct 2021
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Summary
Tom is bunching his hands in the fabric of Greg’s blazer, pulling at the excess as if, by magic, he’ll be able to trim it all away and reveal something better beneath. Tom is pretty handsy, Greg’s noticed, and not in a slap a buddy on the shoulder way. He’s always grabbing Greg’s elbow to steer him through the corridors of the office, places a hand on Greg’s lower back to guide him through crowds.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
26 Jun 2022
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Back in college, Greg had about five different accounts he regularly kept up with. Something to do with his free time. It didn't really hurt anyone. And well, with Tom, Greg feels like he’s probably doing them both a favor. Tom gets attention, which he craves, and Greg can work off some steam.
There’s not even a guarantee that Tom will respond.
Greg catfishes Tom.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
16 Jun 2022
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Summary
“Greg, you’re being too fucking polite for your own good,” Tom says, throwing back the last of his wine. “Say something mean right now.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t get distracted, finish your thought. Try saying what you’re really thinking.”
“I don’t—“
“Fine, I’ll do it for you. ‘Oh, I’m Greg, uh, I hate capitalism but actively participate in it, oh, God, Logan Roy is my real dad. Oh, God. Kiss me, Tom.’”
“Okay—“
“‘Oh God, Tom, take me home.’ Okay, seriously, I’m getting the bill.”
Series
- Part 1 of didn't you like it better when...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,885
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 187
- Kudos:
- 2,509
- Bookmarks:
- 323
- Hits:
- 54,443
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
10 Apr 2022
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In 2014, Elias Bouchard takes a rare trip outside of his comfort zone. Peter Lukas wastes a bunch of money. You'd be surprised how many things can go wrong for two beings of cosmic power.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
31 Dec 2021
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Summary
“No,” is the first thing Elias ever says to him.
Series
- Part 2 of ceylon
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
30 Dec 2021
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Summary
"In Spotless, Robert breaks into Walsh’s office with Fran to steal his marriage certificate back, but Walsh comes back from lunch early so Fran and Robert pretend like they'd snuck in just to make out, and they get away with it."
Martin tilts his head to the side. Jon's eyes follow his lips as he speaks and it is awful, just awful, the way that Martin leans in closer without even thinking about it. Something hot and heavy builds up in Martin's gut. It feels like trouble.
"What does that mean?"
Jon frowns like it’s obvious. “I’m Robert and you’re Fran.”
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
28 Oct 2021
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Summary
It's not like Jon cooks for himself all that often, but he has the option, at least, doesn’t he? Martin doesn’t. Martin has a microwave and a toaster and an electric kettle and a communal kitchenette with barely enough counter space to prepare a sandwich, let alone cook a full meal. Jon has a kitchen, and Martin doesn’t, because Martin needed to do his due diligence for Jon, and--
Well. It’s not as though kibbeh is hard to make. And mihshai malfoof may be time-consuming, but it’s good to keep his hands busy. And once he’s gotten started, he might as well make a salad to go along with it, and if he’s making a salad he should round it out completely and add dip and pita, and his grandmother had an excellent lemon chicken soup recipe, if Jon can only just find it, and then it is Monday morning and Jon is staring at the stacks and stacks of tupperware on his counter, wondering how the hell he’s going to get it all to the Institute.
Jon, Martin, and the meals they share over the years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,340
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 817
- Bookmarks:
- 162
- Hits:
- 4,240
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
26 Oct 2021
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During the "Martin living in the archives" period of season one, Martin finally gets a new phone and decides to indulge in some much-needed stress relief. He is blissfully unaware that Jon, as Head Archivist, is expected to occasionally review the wifi activity for his department to ensure that no misuse of company resources is taking place.
AKA: Jon inadvertently takes an extremely detailed tour of Martin's porn-viewing habits.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
04 Oct 2021
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A/B/O: Adventures in Fake Science. by Hells Bartender (Firebog)
Fandoms: Unspecified Fandom
02 Aug 2016
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Summary
This is an attempt to bash weird porny a/b/o dynamics fiction over the head with science. Not that anyone asked for it.
So how the hell does a/b/o sex determination work? And why did a trinary sex determination system evolve in higher vertebrates alongside a binary sex determination system? Why aren't omega males dying in droves from massive uterine infections? Alpha females, what's up with that? Come on in and I shall tell you the very best in fake science and evolutionary history.
Part theorizing, part helpful guide. This one goes out to all you people who just want fictional worlds to make sense. I'm right there with you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,029
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 372
- Kudos:
- 1,233
- Bookmarks:
- 612
- Hits:
- 43,913
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
15 Sep 2021
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The first time Jon feels Martin’s erection pressing against him while they're kissing, Jon thinks, oh, nice.
That's a bit of a surprise. Normally his reaction would be more along the lines of oh, great, now I'm going to be expected to do things. But Martin so clearly doesn't expect Jon to do anything, aside from possibly bite his head off, judging by the way he jerks away from Jon like he just brushed against a hot stove, mumbling a hasty, "Oh, god, sorry."
He looks...flustered. Some rarely-seen part of Jon’s mind rears its head and informs him that Jon would very much like to fluster him some more.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
06 Sep 2021
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Summary
The original Jonathan Sims: boob appreciator fic. The one that started it all.
- Words:
- 5,604
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 60
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
27 Aug 2021
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Summary
Martin's old enough now to have gotten over most of the sexual hangups instilled by his upbringing. He’s an adult with his own flat - a flat where he can watch porn whenever he pleases, thank fucking god - and he wanks as often as any other guy. Maybe more often. Probably more often.
Even so, there are one or two habits that stuck. And sometimes, when he's feeling worked up in a particular way - a particular weird, guilty way - like, say, a “fantasizing about his gorgeous boss who hates his guts” kind of way - well. Sometimes he still likes to do this.
Still likes to crawl under the covers, lay down on his stomach, tuck a pillow between his legs, and just...pretend he's not doing what he's doing.
fill for kink meme prompt: embarrassing masturbatory routine
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
27 Aug 2021
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hey brother what you thinking (leave that old record spinning) by Did
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
16 Jun 2021
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Summary
Melanie takes a deep breath and decides that she is going to be a normal person about this. She’s not a total bloody basket case. She is completely capable of making small talk with a vaguely creepy stranger in a bar without flipping her lid. "What kind of music do you play?"
He laughs again, like she’s making a joke. "You've heard it."
Melanie deliberately unclenches her jaw. "...no. I haven't."
He leans in closer, like he's sharing a secret. He smells like iron. "You're hearing it right now."
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
27 Aug 2021
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your loveliness and the hour of my death by writevale
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
12 Feb 2022
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Summary
Not that anyone had asked, but Jon wouldn't say he was being haunted, per se.
The whirring sounds that came through the door to the spare room each night must be the neighbours' noise travelling through the pipes. He was still moving in, it was unsurprising that his belongings would be temporarily misplaced, only to turn up in strange and obvious places days later. The refusal of the house to stay above 18 degrees Celsius was nothing but a faulty boiler. The banging from the attic was . . . Irritating. That's all.
And if Jon woke up in the small hours of the morning, spine tingling with the certainty that he was being watched? If there was a shadow on his wall that he had never noticed before?
Well, he'd have an answer for that in the near future. He was sure.
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
27 Aug 2021
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slow it down baby i like it legato (you're boosting my confidence, check my bravado) by Did
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
11 May 2021
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Summary
Martin probably would have happily gone on avoiding the subject forever, given the chance. One day, however, the choice is abruptly taken out of his hands. One moment, it's a morning like any other; he's waking up to the warmth of Jon against his back, inhaling their mingled scents from his pillow. The next moment, he's rolling over, opening his mouth to exhale out a good morning, and what comes out instead is:
Ohh. I'm ovulating. I love you. Take me now.
Well, that certainly woke them both up.
Series
- Part 3 of take a sad song and make it better
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
23 Jul 2021
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Summary
After a century or so of swapping from body to body as circumstances demand, Jonah likes to think he’s ironed out the kinks in the process. But even he has to admit that this one has been something of a botch job.
Or: Jonah Magnus' Terrible-No-Good-Very-Bad-Day
Bookmarked by Floatfoot
23 Jul 2021