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Perennials (Always In Season) by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar for FionaLaFleur
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
12 Aug 2026
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Summary
“Oh! In Victorian floriography, they meant ‘be gentle with me.’ Is that… oh, baby are you…?”
Spencer kicks the floor nervously.
“Would you do me the honour of taking my other virginity?”
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In a universe where the BAU is an established polycule, Spencer wants Penelope to take his other virginity.
Series
- Part 2 of Everyone is Poly because BAU
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Spencer,
Since maturing, I have had one fantasy — to make a meal that is truly better than sex. Ambitious, truly, and only worse when I truly explain it: I wish to watch my lover orgasm simply from eating what I have prepared for them. Dreadfully far-fetched, but nonetheless addictive to my mind. I know this is physiologically improbable (at best). However, after giving it some thought — read, years of thought, including to this very moment, I think the effect I dream of could be readily achieved. It would, I think, only take a carefully planned menu, some light mechanical aid, and a willing participant.
I hope this letter gives you some food for thought. Please let me know if you’d be interested in making this a reality with me.
Tuck in,
Rossi---
In a universe where the BAU is an established polycule, Rossi invites Spencer to help him bring a fantasy into the real world - bringing a lover to orgasm with nothing but food.
Series
- Part 3 of Everyone is Poly because BAU
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Summary
“I think we’ve been circling this one for a while. You treat yourself like absolute dirt when I don’t call you on it. Particularly around your dynamic — you’ve never come to me when you need it, waiting for me to bring it to you. I’m starting to think there’s more to it than just stubbornness. I have to ask — you do know that being a sub is nothing to be ashamed of, right?”
“Well…”
“No. That’s a yes or no question.”
“No, I don’t know that.”
He sounds so small. Shit. Riley’s not cut out for dealing with this, but he’s going to try. For Aethelwynne.
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How Jake came to be a part of the Holt-Cozner household.
Series
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Whatever You Want by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar for Highway58
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
07 Jul 2026
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Summary
“I’m not allowed to do anything. I can’t like what I like. It’s like no one trusts me to make any decision about myself. Ever. Not even whether I want to hook up with someone from the bar.” Spencer mumbles. “Can’t even have one fun night out."
That does it. Derek pulls Spencer’s glass out of his hands, getting his attention firmly.
“Fuck that,” he says, “you should get a say. What do you want?”
“Even,” Spencer swallows, “even if all I want to do tonight is lose my virginity?”
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Summary
Being little on your own is just sad. You play alone. No one comes to get you for dinner, so you make your own meals, and eat them alone, and then you clean up the mess by yourself. You tuck yourself into bed. If you’re lucky, you might have a stuffy to kiss goodnight, but they sure as hell don’t kiss back. Emily can’t see a point without a caregiver. It doesn’t hit the same.
Which, incidentally, might be how she ended up alone and on blockers.
Thankfully, that's not the end of the story.
Series
- Part 1 of BOB 'verse
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Drowning (Coming Up For Air) by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar for Nock_and_Bolt
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
20 Dec 2025
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Summary
Spencer is usually good at treading water.
His life has been a slow drip of trauma, only broken up by torrents and floods. When it rains, he supposes. He can’t remember ever being fully above water. He’s always at least half-drowning. Life has always been a constant battle of keeping afloat, keeping his head up enough to suck in trembling breaths. He swims. He tries to float. He’s gotten good at swimming. At least, good enough not the drown.
Usually, at least.
Right now, Spencer’s on the bottom of the lake. He’s slowly drowning, watching as the bubbles drift up from his mouth. He’s drowning. And this time, he actually will.
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Spencer has a mental health episode, and his family rally around to help
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Summary
Emily: down to try something a little strange?
PG: always sugar
Emily: how many piercings do you own that are actual rings? Like full circles
PG: hold up imma check
PG: Like a few. Probably enough for most of my piercings. Why???Emily: think you could put them all in for an experiment?
PG: o7 on it boss!
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In a universe where the BAU is an established polycule, Penelope and Emily experiment with a new kink.
Series
- Part 5 of Everyone is Poly because BAU
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Summary
You know when you’re already upset and everything starts pissing you off?
“You brought those to Alaska?”
“Whoops.” Hotch offers.
It seems such a petty thing to be mad at: what someone else packed in their suitcase. Good thing JJ is about six miles past petty and doesn’t care how dumb it is. She’s feeling bitchy, and bratty — and now, thanks to those stupid fucking pants, horny. Not such an excellent combo. Now it’s all worse! JJ is mad at something stupid, and she knows she’s mad, and she knows it’s stupid! How dare he wear clothes he owns when she’s trying to be mad at him?
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In a universe where the BAU is an established polycule, JJ is very mad at Hotch about work stuff. And Hotch? He's wearing his Sex Jeans.
Series
- Part 6 of Everyone is Poly because BAU
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Summary
"I never quite forgot the atmosphere of college parties. They’re like my version of a strip club, you know? The place my mind goes when I think of people getting it on. I sometimes think about what I’d do if I woke up back there.”
“What would that be?” Derek asked.
“I wouldn’t be so shy about it,” Spencer said eventually. “I’d drink with everyone, and I wouldn’t be so worried about my inexperience. Find myself someone who wanted it as much as I did, have a few drinks,” he shrugs, “make a few mistakes.”
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In a universe where the BAU is an established polycule, Rossi and the team throw Spencer a frat party.
Series
- Part 4 of Everyone is Poly because BAU
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Late Bloomer (Still In Season) by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
21 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Spencer Reid, are you a virgin?”
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In a universe where the BAU is an established polycule, the team discovers Spencer is a virgin.
Series
- Part 1 of Everyone is Poly because BAU
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I Ain't Trickin' Ya (This is Gonna Be a Treat!) by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar for LiteraryAddict
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
15 Jun 2025
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Summary
Halloween - The First Year
Series
- Part 3 of BOB 'verse
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Summary
Aaron and David want Spencer to join their family. They don’t know how to ask him.
Spencer wants to join their family. He doesn’t think they want him.
Series
- Part 2 of BOB 'verse
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Summary
“Butler?” Calls Penelope, the lady of the house. Her voice carries smoothly on the air. “Might I trouble you for a cool glass of water?”
"Yes, my lady."
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(I Now Pronounce You) Mister Hotchner & Doctor Reid by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar for @chaotic-librarian on Tumblr, Viking_Librarian
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
23 Dec 2023
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Summary
Hotch and Reid have been married for three years. The only problem? They haven't told their friends yet.
Maybe a workplace injury will change all that.
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Written for @chaotic-librarian on Tumblr for the Criminal Minds 2023 Holiday Gift Exchange
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Hazing and Other Unpleasant Activities: A Derek Morgan Story by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
13 Oct 2023
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Summary
Getting shoulder-checked into a locker first thing in the morning would be an anomaly for most. Unfortunately for Derek Morgan, this is simply Monday.
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Written for @tobias-hankel's Criminal Minds Pre-Whumptober Collection 2023.
Main Whump-ed Character: Derek Morgan
Bad Thing: Work Related Injury
Bad Person: The Bureau/Boss
One Line Prompt: "Why does it always have to be you?"
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Emily has spent her vacation trying - and failing - to keep her eyes off Penelope.
And Penelope?
Well, Penelope is walking around the house in nothing but her underwear.
Sexy underwear.
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Written for @imagining-in-the-margins Summer Sunshine Challenge
Prompt: It's too hot to wear clothes at home, so [Character] walks around in their underwear -
(I Get By) With a Little Help from My Friends by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
09 Apr 2023
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Summary
“Where are you going, Pretty Boy?”
Spencer answered, one word passing his lips as the doors began to close.
“Food.”
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AKA, the one where Spencer has a fight with a vending machine, and the BAU chip in to help
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Unravelling by GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar for @birdclowns on Tumblr
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
24 Dec 2022
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Summary
The Reaper is gone. George Foyet is dead. Haley is…
Haley is…
Haley’s…
It’s his fault. All of it is his fault. Right now, it feels like everything is his fault.
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AKA - the aftermath of Haley's death.
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Summary
Every year, the BAU dresses up for Halloween, and every year Spencer finds something wrong with their costumes. This year, Spencer’s the one whose costume is inaccurate.
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Written for @imagining-in-the-margins October CM/MGG Trick or Treat Challenge in 2021.
Prompt: Person A & B get into an argument about the “accuracy” of a costume.