I_AM_A_PRICK



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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    Janet Drake wasn't human when she "married" Jack Drake. Nor was she alone. Instead, Jack Drake now holds her hostage with her name.

    Tim suffers the consequences, trapped in a world so unlike his own, he has to adapt as Gotham tries to swallow them whole.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,021
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    828
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    6,566
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    18 May 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Tim was a lonely kid, and there was only so much to do in an empty house filled with everything but the warmth of living bodies. So when his parents bring back an ancient book that they can’t read from one of their expeditions, Tim asks if he can have it. Unlike with the more fragile and expensive artifacts, they decided to humor him without thinking much on it. He very quickly finds out that the book is in fact an occult grimoire. Now, Tim was generally considered very smart for his age, a genius even. But he was still 10, and he was very curious to see if this book was real. One ritual and one demon later he makes a wager, if the demon can beat him at a game of cards he can take his soul, but if Tim wins then he gets 5 extra years of life. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and the demons at least provided him some entertainment. Now Tim is 17. He’s been 17 for a long time, not that anyone seems to notice his lack of aging.

    -Or-

    Tim was a lonely kid left in a house of artifacts. So when he finds a book that can summon demons, he decides to give it a try. Somehow this leads to him becoming practically immortal and John Constantine's apprentice, all without the Bats knowing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,360
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    146
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    2,274
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    472
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    17,081

    17 May 2026

  3. Rec 12

    Words:
    6,843
    Works:
    1
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    12

    10 May 2026

  4. Rec *

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    “Were… were your parents part of any secret organizations that you know of?” This got Tim’s attention. To be completely honest, there was probably a whole list of things he didn’t know about his parents. They were gone the majority of the year while they were still alive, and they weren’t exactly running to tell him about everything they were doing abroad in the short periods that they actually were back in Gotham.

    “What do you mean?” Duke had a confused look on his face and slid over the envelope he was holding. When Tim picked it up, he immediately noticed a familiar symbol stamped onto the front. A symbol that he had never expected to find on a Tuesday afternoon in his parent's attic. A symbol that, up until that moment, he wasn’t sure was actually real.

    The fucking Illuminati triangle was staring back at him.

    Tim slowly lifted his head to look at Duke, a perplexed look on his face.

    “Holy shit.”

    “Holy shit.” Duke agreed.

    (or; Tim joins the Illuminati just to prove that it's real)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    4
    Comments:
    28
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    1,385
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    275
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    25 Apr 2026

  5. Rec *

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    In Tim’s haze of fire, he ends up with a thought that turns everything into ice.

    It’s been a year since he came back with Bruce and he never got an apology.

    So Tim walks up to his older brother who’s now taken a step backward with slightly widened eyes at the smile- the cold and very wide grin that’s taken place on Tim’s face very quickly, very suddenly -and he walks straight up to the man in front of him, puts his hands on his shoulders, and knees him straight in the dick.

    Casually stepping over his older brother practically crying on the edge of the platform, and ignoring the gobsmacked look shared among Tam, the security guards, and most of the press who caught it all on camera, he walks over to wooden stand with the microphone and begins nonchalantly talking about the unfortunate mistake made by someone he doesn't care about in a division that’s so unimportant he was literally thinking about shutting it down a few weeks ago.

    The questions asked by the press weren’t on topic at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    18
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    7,722
    Bookmarks:
    1,391
    Hits:
    56,083

    20 Apr 2026