MordorIsCalling
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After the Quest of Erebor, Bilbo Baggins returned to the Shire desolate, with but a little chest of riches as his prize. For years afterwards, he regretted having done so, wishing instead that he had stayed by the side of the one he loved. Yet, he knew his place. As Gandalf had said, he was quite a little fellow in the wide world. A little hobbit like him had no business being a consort to a dwarven king - it was not done.
That was why, when he and the King of Erebor met again, Bilbo didn't think once that the impossible his heart still longed for could ever come true.
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The Shrike and the Lark are a pair of notorious royal birds. The two strange creatures lead Creyden - towards no future, some claim - in uncertain times. It is the era of the White Wolf's growing list of conquests, after all.
When the Warlord of the North knocks at their door, Queen Renfri and King Julian are at a certain advantage - they know him. Their past... close relations with the Wolf may, in fact, turn out to be of great consequence in the present.
In which the Black Sun twins bring a lot of ruin, but then begin to build.
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With a note Ask me about my coffee, a new chapter begins.
In which Jaskier needs a fake date and Geralt needs to leave his place a little. They're both men with a baggage and a real relationship is out of the question. That's why all those times they go out, it's just for fun. No falling in love is happening, no sir.
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Cigarettes After Sex (The Art of Letting Go) by MordorIsCalling
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV)
31 Dec 2022
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After Geralt dresses, he opens the window despite the fact that it’s cold outside and Jaskier is sprawled out naked on the bed.
(It’s fucking Valentine’s Day.)
“You should quit,” Geralt says, “it’s bad for you.”
Jaskier sighs heavily, hating how much his best friend cares. “I’m aware,” he answers. Geralt stands there, black clothes and white hair contrasting with the grey-blue walls. Jaskier drinks him in and admits, “But I can’t stop.”
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Geralt and Jaskier love each other but pretend they don’t and everything hurts.
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They fall into a companionable silence for a while, though Jaskier quickly notices there’s something at the tip of Geralt’s tongue. He knows Geralt through and through, after all. They’ve been best of friends for almost a decade now.
Then, Geralt finally says it. “Are you in love with someone?”
Or:
A tragedy of bad timing in five parts
Recent series
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- Words:
- 30,902
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 246
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Bilbo Baggins's Greatest Burglary by MordorIsCalling
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
29 Dec 2020
Summary
After the Battle of the Five Armies, Durin’s Folk start regarding Bilbo as the Master Burglar. His theft of the Arkenstone is thought to be an unsurpassed achievement in the craft of burglary.
Bilbo’s unexpected popularity among dwarves quickly becomes a problem. Thorin has a solution that makes him the happiest hobbit alive but it does not help. Not in the slightest.
Or, Master Burglar steals great many things.
- Words:
- 12,986
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 167
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NBT Modern Royalty AU by MordorIsCalling
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
07 Sep 2020
Summary
A Modern Royalty AU in which each work of the series has a title of one of Nothing But Thieves' songs.
- Words:
- 33,675
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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The Heart Remembers What The Mind Forgets by Fantasyinallforms
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
04 Aug 2024
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Bilbo Baggins wakes from a head wound after the Battle Of The Five Armies in a seemingly foreign place surrounded by strangers with no memory of the last eight months. Stuck in the mountain until spring, he finds himself drawn to the broody dwarven king carrying a guilty heart.
- Language:
- English
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- 34,304
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 1
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- 257
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Bookmarked by MordorIsCalling
18 Jul 2025
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Jaskier stares. “That,” he says cautiously, “is a baby.”
Eric grunts an affirmative.
“Why do you have a baby?” Jaskier demands, because although Eric of the Wolf School is a Master Witcher and has shown extreme skill in everything from tracking monsters to slaying monsters to bashing knights over the head, not once has he ever displayed even the slightest interest in babies.
Eric gives him a look. And then he gives Jaskier the baby.
And that is how Jaskier ends up leaving Cintra: with a Witcher, a baby, and a milk goat.
Series
- Part 7 of The Witcher Flash Fic Challenge
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,877
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 32
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Bookmarked by MordorIsCalling
29 May 2025
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“Well, of course!” Master Baggins spoke his observations in such a factual manner. “Handsome beards on the line of Durin indeed. Surely, I’d only look all the more foolish sitting next to you.”
Thorin blinked and felt heat rush up beneath his cheeks. Prayed to Mahal that his humble beard might survive the sudden praise. For again, he had always wished that Master Baggins might find him attractive in spite of his less than suitable beard, but here was Master Baggins ever the Unexpected. And here he was dolling out such lovely compliments.
“Not his beard,” Dwalin let out with a mirthful scoff. “It’s not any better than Kíli’s.”
“Oh, nonsense!” Master Baggins furrowed his brow. “You mean to tell me that you dwarves consider it unattractive to groom one’s beard so short?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,808
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
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Bookmarked by MordorIsCalling
20 May 2025
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Where Larks Should Sing by philomenat
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
16 Mar 2025
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When two witchers show up in Oxenfurt summoning Jaskier home to Lettenhove immediately, he's confused but intrigued. For one thing, Lettenhove isn't "home" - the last time he saw it, and the rest of his family, was eighteen years ago. Why is he needed there so urgently? Why is his life suddenly teeming with witchers? What's the truth about his family? Why is he in danger? Is there even a decent tailor in Lettenhove? And will he recognise real love when he sees it?
Jaskier is sure he can stretch three days to four, meaning he’ll be able to attend the ceremony at which he’ll be officially declared a Master of the Seven Liberal Arts, then disgrace himself thoroughly at the all-night party afterwards. After that, he doesn’t much mind leaving Oxenfurt. He’s not the type to hang around once a party’s over, and after four years in the city, he’s ready for new things. New people, new sights, new adventures. New things to write songs about, and new audiences to sing them to. New loves, new beds, new pleasures. He’s already bought a horse and ordered a travelling wardrobe, and while he didn’t intend Lettenhove to be the first stop on the fascinating journey of the rest of his life, it might as well be.
Bookmarked by MordorIsCalling
26 Feb 2025
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Rough Winds by philomenat
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
31 Dec 2024
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Jaskier meets another bard who seems to be perfect for him in every way. Geralt doesn't like it.
“What surprises me,” Jaskier continued, “is that there’s a musician of such skill and I’ve never heard of him. He wasn’t at Oxenfurt, doesn’t compete in the tournaments and big festivals, has no reputation whatsoever. He knew all my songs but had none of his own to play. With talent like that – not to mention a face like that – he’d be a sensation. Melitele, Geralt, is this what envy feels like?”
I don’t know, Geralt thought. I’ve never been envious. Have I?