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After many months of self-denial, Hermione receives an envelope of explicit photos of her and a one night stand she had four months earlier.
She could have ignored what seeing those photos made her feel, but the vile message attached that threatened to leak the photos to the press was the catalyst to accept the truth. Hermione has a stalker.
Her reputation had struggled in the last year, as well as some of her confidence.
When she seek's Harry’s advice, it is sad, but honest. The ministry is in turmoil as crime is on the rise and targeted muggleborn attacks are spreading. Harry suggests hiring a private investigation firm that he's worked with in the past and Hermione reluctantly agrees.
The P.I. handling her case is, none other than Draco Malfoy, the man in the photos from her one night stand.
As their path takes sharper and darker turns, Hermione and Draco have to risk their own secrets coming forth to keep each other and the rest of the ones they love safe.
- Language:
- English
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- 185,716
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Comments:
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- Kudos:
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by StrixXinXiang
12 Apr 2025
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No one knows that they are missing. No one knows where they are. No one knows that they are trapped. No one knows that they are dying. Dramione.
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
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"His face was numb from vodka, his shirt was unbuttoned, he was sliding onto a leather banquette in a club with bottle service, and a girl was running her hand down his chest, asking how he got his scars. "Cursed," he told her.
When his house arrest was done, Pansy dragged him along behind her to meet up with the pureblood scions who’d been too smart or too callow to get too involved, who definitely wanted to party but weren’t sure yet whether they wanted to party with Draco. They went to Muggle London—the supremacist kids always wanted to slum it there—and tried to pretend it was before the war.
The purebloods couldn’t decide if they wanted to suck up to him or take the piss out of him, but they knew he wasn’t fun. He and Theo both—they fought too much and too sloppy; they didn’t care how much they got hurt and they didn’t care whether they won."—Chapter 5, BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
One shot inspired by BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
Series
- Part 2 of Related to BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
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"Theo used to kiss him in the common room when they were drunk at parties. Blaise always pushed Theo away, but Draco didn’t mind it. Theo was gentle, it was nice—lots of tongue and his hands in Draco’s hair and holding his jaw—and being drunk was an excuse for Draco to be gentle too. It got the girls excited. Pansy always made a show of reclaiming him—"Warming him up for me, Nott? C’mon, Draco, I’ve got a better use for your mouth.”—and Draco would grin as everyone whooped while she pulled him away." - Chapter 3, BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
One shot inspired by BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
Series
- Part 1 of Related to BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
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Baby, Any Time You’re Ready, I’m Waiting by Zeebee3
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Apr 2023
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“Alright,” said Pansy. “Then we’re still stuck. How do we divide three rooms between three girls and three boys?”
“You share with Ginny. Blaise shares with Ron. And then Draco and I can share,” said Hermione easily, scrolling through the phone at the rest of the property images.
Pansy’s attention snapped to Draco so fast, he almost jolted at the impact of it.
“Oh?” She said with pointed interest. Draco shook his head minutely at her and her brows shot up. She turned back to Hermione.
“Why you and Draco, Hermione?”
“Well it’s such a lovely house, it’d be a shame to pass it up just because of sleeping arrangements.” She glanced up, perhaps sensing the underlying emphasis in Pansy’s question, and met his eyes. “You don’t mind, do you Draco? Or I could share with Ron if you’d rather be with Blaise?”
“Don’t mind a bit.” He sipped his tea, the picture of nonchalance.
———
Or where Hermione thinks she and Draco are “just good friends” but he’s secretly in love.
Series
- Part 1 of Any Time You're Ready Universe
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Summary
Hermione wasn’t sure why she volunteered to chaperone Rose’s trip, but she was having many regrets. Slamming into Draco Malfoy's back and giving herself a bloody nose might not be one of them.
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It Always Leads To You by EternallyElvish for StrixXinXiang
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Dec 2023
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‘You’re such a Grinch, you know that?’
Draco dismisses her with a wave of his hand and begins chopping ingredients, ‘you’re spending too much time with Lovegood saying such shite. I haven’t the foggiest what a Grinch is.’
A Christmas Carol, but make it Dramione.
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Hermione gets more than she bargained for when Malfoy gets hit by a spell during their mission, leaving her to deal with five time-jumping Malfoys!
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Hermione felt the pounding in her ears again. She would see him for the first time since the Great Hall, gaunt and stricken at the Slytherin table with his mother clutching his arm. She hadn't meant to look for him. Not in the corridors, not beneath the white sheets of the fallen, not on the way to the Chamber of Secrets with Ron, but she was a stupid girl.
Series
- Part 1 of Rights and Wrongs
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Sequel to "The Right Thing to Do" - Draco's POV. Part 2 of the "Rights and Wrongs" series.
Series
- Part 2 of Rights and Wrongs
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Summary
Two glamoured idiots walk into a bar in the hopes of finding someone to help them forget about their mutual unrequited (or so they think) love.
Russian translation:
https://ficbook.net/readfic/12826813 -
Rec 10681
Mystery Work
Part of Private Collection
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
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A collection of drabbles and short stories Post-TRTTD/ATWT. Marriage, kids, Grandpa Lucius, babysitter Harry, Draco raising a teenage girl, etc.
Series
- Part 4 of Rights and Wrongs
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"On a scale of one to ten, how comfortable would you say you are with me physically?" she asked.
"Zero."
Hermione's lips pursed in annoyance because she really should have seen that coming. How charming that the extent of his arseholery could still surprise her.In which Hermione is determined to find a loophole to free her from a forced marriage with Draco Malfoy. But with only two weeks until they are legally required to consummate, it would be irresponsible not to prepare for every contingency.
Series
- Part 1 of Ten out of Ten and Counting
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Hermione's eighth year at Hogwarts is already going to be difficult in the aftermath of the war, but is further thrown into upheaval when Headmistress McGonagall orders a re-sorting of all students to promote inter-house unity. But when the Sorting Hat sends Hermione to Ravenclaw with Draco - and without Harry or Ron - how will she cope? [Epilogue? What epilogue?] Prevalent alchemy.
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After the war, Draco Malfoy seeks refuge from infamy in the Muggle world. A friendly Muggle couple takes him under their wing, but there’s a problem: they are intent on setting him up with their best friend, Hermione Granger.
Or, in which the Muggle friends Hermione Granger undoubtedly would have had will not take no for an answer.
Series
- Part 1 of The Meet Your Match Universe
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"Hermione Granger is undoubtedly the most irritatingly opinionated, patronizing, overbearing, excruciatingly optimistic and self righteous human being I have ever met but there's something about her that draws you in, something golden." -D.M.
What is the plot of this fic? The plot is Draco Malfoy having a terrible fucking time and never being able to catch a break. It will begin fifth year and take you through his journey of being a death eater, the Battle of Hogwarts and post-war. It will loosely follow some canon events but timelines and dates may not be identical. The story itself is one big what if. What if Draco and Hermione started dating before he became a death eater? What if Draco had been present for certain events during the horcrux hunt? What if the war ended this way and these certain people were lost? The characters and story are in no way meant to be canon but instead, an exploration into other possible characterizations of them.
It's also wise to remember, this is entirely from Draco's point of view. Who is to say that he's a reliable narrator?
Series
- Part 1 of Something Golden
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It’s not until she’s brought a basil and strawberry sponge cake to Neville Longbottom and his new girlfriend, Hannah Abbott, a dozen rhubarb hand-pies to Luna and Xenophilius Lovegood, and another basket of ganache-covered muffins to Dean and Seamus, that Hermione admits to herself what she’s actually doing: she’s making a thing of this. It’s a veritable PTSD tour. With pastries. And hand-skimmed clotted cream. And she has no idea why she’s doing it, but it’s becoming very apparent that she is.
Sometimes you're sad. Sometimes you need dessert. And sometimes, it's a little of both.
Series
- Part 1 of Apple Pies and Other Amends Universe