1 - 20 of 42 Works by SuchaPrettyPoison
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Happy to Help by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
01 Aug 2021
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Summary
“Babe?” She called his attention back to her, and his eyes snapped to hers instantly. He must look feral. He feels feral. “Let’s go home. I’ve had a long day, and want nothing more than a bath and pizza. And a back rub.”
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Sometimes you just need your neighbor to pretend to be in a relationship with you. Repeatedly.
Series
- Part 1 of Happy to Help
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Trouble and Treat by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
01 Nov 2020
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Summary
The Halloween candy she’d been swiping plus the spiked coco, mixed with being confronted with all that was Ben Solo was enough to make anyone’s head spin.
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There is nothing better than spending an evening in with spiked coco and eating through the candy that she'd bought to hand out for Halloween. Well, actually there was something better. Her neighbor Ben forgetting his key and knocking on her door.
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To Play Pretend by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
31 Jul 2020
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Summary
Yes, she bloody well knew that they were an odd pair.
Why would he choose her? That’s what they probably were thinking.
Well, they probably were thinking that she gave a mean blowjob to capture the likes of Ben Solo.
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Single dad Ben Solo is tired of being hit on by some of the mums from his daughter's kindergarten class. He asks his friend Rey to come with him to pick up his daughter as his pretend fiancée. -
A Moment of Panic by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
28 Jul 2020
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“I have a request of you, that is outside the responsibility of your role as my assistant.”
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After lying to his mother, Ben needs his assistant Rey to pretend to be his fiancée.
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What The Hell by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
26 Jul 2020
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Summary
“Fuck.” He growled out in a low voice which instantly had her wishing that she was sitting on the edge of one of the machines on a high spin cycle.
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At 2:03am Rey is at her local 24hr laundry mat only to have this massive man come in stripping off his clothes and throwing them in the nearest machine. And wait is that blood on him? And he's asking her for quarters?
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The Belonging You Seek by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
07 Jul 2020
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Summary
“How did you summon me?”
What? What was he talking about? It’s not like she went to bed going 'tonight I’m going to dream of huge creepily hot dark figure made of shadows'.
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Sometimes you discover you are a witch and accidentally summon a demon, who may or may not be your soulmate.
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Keeping up Appearances by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
03 Jul 2020
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Summary
“Kylo. Darling. If you don’t let me past, I’m just going to climb over you, and then what will the neighbours think?”
His dark intense gaze met Rey’s straight on and her damn breath caught in her throat. Without missing a beat came his low reply. “That I can’t bear to let go of my wife for even a second.”
Oh tits.
There went her ovaries.-
Sometimes you and your boss see the wrong thing and end up in witness protection pretending to be newlyweds.
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Anything You Need by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
15 Jun 2020
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Summary
Had there been a gym related accident and now he was dead?
Fuck, did that mean that these shorts were going to be his ghost outfit?-
Ben knows women don’t come to him for his lacking social skills and awkward nature; they want to see if he's big all over. He figures why not finally use his assets to his advantage and (try to) flirt with and impress trainer Rey by working out in only biking shorts?
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Hey Sweetheart by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
18 May 2020
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Summary
“I also don’t have a death wish – Rose would kill me if anything happened to you, and fucking Phas, Hux, and Kay would happily help her dispose of my body and provide her and alibi.”
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Anytime a guy flirts with Rey, her flatmate Ben swoops in and pretends to be her possessive boyfriend.
She was never going to get laid. Six months since moving in with him, and he scared away all her potential ‘suitors’. -
TikTok and the Professor by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
10 May 2020
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Summary
“This is a code Red. He is now on TikTok making the standard millennial ‘this is not where I’m supposed to be’ video, and he is the cutest thing and I just want to sit on his face. What do I do, people? What. Do. I. Do?”
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Due to quarantine, Professor Ben Solo decides to download TikTok - an app his students seem to be a fan of - only to find he's the subject of one of his student's videos.
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Just Kiss Me by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
05 May 2020
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Summary
"Do I need to do a breathalyzer for you to snog me?”
“Breaking out the British. Now I know you’re serious.”
That elusive smile of his came out and she had to bite back a moan – at a smile.-
At a party in Poe's house, a guy won't stop asking Rey to go out with him. Rey decides to silence him by pulling Poe's roommate Ben into a kiss.
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Darling, our scars make us who we are by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
03 May 2020
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Summary
“I’m not saying that I hate you, but I will say that you are my least favourite person at the moment.” She said. Her face contorted in pain and yet she remained still.
“Could it have to do with the fact that I’m repeatedly stabbing you with a needle?”
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Ben is a tattoo artist specializes in scar cover-up tattoos. Rey wants her scars from her past to be something she can find beauty in.
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Ten Bucks He's a Vampire by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
19 Apr 2020
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Summary
Rose was back on her shite, “How do you think vampires get erections without blood – like isn’t that required to get a boner?”
“Why are you asking me when you have Google?”
“I’m not going to waste my data when you can go ask your prince of the undead. Oh, tell him you require a demonstration."
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Rey works the night shift in a 24-hour diner and Rose is pretty certain that one of Rey's regulars is a vampire.
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The New Normal by krossartist, SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
12 Apr 2020
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Summary
She hastily scrawled with a thick marker on a spare sheet of paper and taped it up to her window, where it would be in his direct line of sight.
Hope you have a good day!
Rey saw his dark head pop over his monitor to look at her sign. She gave a wave.
She did not get a wave in return.
Rude.---
Stuck working from home during the pandemic, Rey starts writing notes to her neighbor across the alley.
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Want to be my boyfriend for a bit? by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
21 Mar 2020
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Summary
“Are you a criminal?” He felt the question needed to be asked.
“Eh.”
Well, that wasn’t a reassuring answer.
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Sometimes you have to help a criminal by pretending to be their boyfriend.
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Take My Hand...Sanitizer by Hellyjellybean, SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
18 Mar 2020
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Summary
She was going to lovingly caress it and keep it close by and pump its beautiful clear liquid over her hands anytime someone got too close - just to drive home the point that she hated people and the ‘coughphony’ of diseases they carried.
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Here was the situation - sometimes you get into a fight with a stranger over the last bottle of hand sanitizer.
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Here to Help by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
07 Mar 2020
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Summary
“Just a head’s up - you are now madly in love with me.” He was looking confused, but she went on, speaking at a rapid-fire pace. “Wow, you’re tall. And cute. I can so work with this. How are you with awkward social situations? Never mind, we are about to find out. Actually, fuck it. We are going to run away from our problems. Come on Red – Let's dance.”
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Sometimes you just need your friend's fake boyfriend's friend to pretend to be in a relationship with you.
Series
- Part 2 of Happy to Help
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Hunk of Junk by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
24 Feb 2020
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Summary
“Big boy – how about helping a lady get back on her feet so she can tug out a massive piece of steel?”
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There is always a valid reason for someone to trek through a junkyard.
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All Sorts of Weaponry by SuchaPrettyPoison for TrashcanWren, andabatae
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
20 Feb 2020
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Summary
Rey didn’t want to be that person.
But she was going to be that person. Because was this dude for real?
This guy, he already had height, width, lips and eyes – the massive codpiece was overkill.
They all got it.
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Prompt from Twitter:
'At the Ren Faire, Rey rolls her eyes when she sees her fellow reenactor's codpiece. "You don't need to try *that* hard," she says.
He's not wearing a codpiece.'Series
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I Wasn't Expecting You by SuchaPrettyPoison
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
18 Feb 2020
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Summary
Rey:
I think I found the man I’m either going to marry or kill.
I probably shouldn’t put into text. That makes it premeditative murder.
-We've all accidentally sent a text to the wrong person. Rey just happened to do it for two weeks.
What kind of person just continues to let a random person text them? Well, she plans on finding out.