YellowTuba



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    ILYA: Tell Bretscher we have the condoms.
    ILYA: €5 for one. €12 for three.
    LUCA: 5??
    ILYA: Swiss use Euros, yes?
    ILYA: Don't tell me you use stupid currency too.
    LUCA: ...
    LUCA: We have Euros for Italy.
    LUCA: Five seems like a lot?
    ILYA: Tell him we have other customers. Take it or leave it.

    -

    Ilya starts an underground condom ring at the 2026 Winter Olympics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,938
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Comments:
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    1,683
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    10 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lovers' mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
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    621
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    7,002
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    24,672

    10 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When Shane Hollander looks into the future he sees— not a flat sheet of ice, not that, not anymore, but something equally as empty.

    His backup plan was always to go to university. He hadn't thought he'd ever need it, not really. Especially not near the end, when everything felt so certain. But his grades were good, his mom made sure of that, so when he woke up in the hospital he already knew what he was going to do next. But after?

    There's a standard path people take, he knows, that comes after school. But when he tries to picture it, slot himself into the picket fence and the corporate overhead fluorescents, it disappears. Like it was never going to be real at all.

    (Or: after ending up at a jazz bar to celebrate the end of finals season, Shane Hollander finds himself where he never thought he'd be— in the orbit of NHL superstar Ilya Rozanov.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,923
    Chapters:
    5/9
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    1
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    1,000
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    55,782

    06 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ankle sprain at fifteen, broken ribs and another lost tooth at sixteen. At seventeen, a hairline clavicle fracture that almost cost him his spot at Juniors. Shane's a good patient. Quiet, says please and thank you to the nurses, always does his physio. Never, ever complains.

    And then he gets his first concussion.

    [AU after the end of ep 4]

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    1,211
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    257
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    05 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov does not come pre-installed with good communication or healthy coping skills. Is he going to seek out help on his own? Hell no! But when a family member kills himself, fellow Boston Raider and friend Cliff Marleau decides that Ilya is going to therapy come hell or high water. And Ilya... well, Ilya is just playing along to keep the peace. Right? He doesn't need therapy. But if it helps his friend be less worried, so be it.

    OR

    What if Ilya came into the tuna meltdown with slightly upgraded social skills and no one actually ran away before they had a conversation?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,232
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    576
    Kudos:
    3,599
    Bookmarks:
    1,143
    Hits:
    30,534

    05 Mar 2026