all_hail_the_witcher
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Recent works
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questionable government spies (but its better written and 5 years late) by all_hail_the_witcher
Fandoms: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken, Newsies - All Media Types
04 May 2024
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Summary
race and albert are two of the best fbi field agents in the country. they're training jack, an amateur field agent and hacker. after albert comes back from the dead for the eighth time they are called to new york city by resident asshole davey jacobs, head of the nyc fbi, their hometown, to work on a gang case that no one can crack.
coming to new york opens old wounds and reignites old friendships. race finds himself lost in a world once familiar to him in more ways than one and albert tries desperately to help him. but for once, their interests may not be aligned.
between avoiding his family's diamond store on 47th street and his new relationship with spot, the guy who wants out of the gang he's been assigned to take down, race becomes closed off. albert can't stand to see his best friend this way and with the not so gentle nudging of jack begins to come to terms with the fact that there may be more to his relationship with race than he originally thought.
in a ridiculous tale of code names, 99 cent pizza rivalries and what actually happened to the weapons lab, one thing becomes clear:
this is going to be the hardest case of race and alberts life
(rewrite of the fic known as spies from 2018)
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remember me as i was not as i am by all_hail_the_witcher
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
20 Sep 2021
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Summary
Yennefer took a step closer to him, her posture softening. “You can’t keep outrunning your past, Lambert. It’s going to catch up with you.”
“Then it better fucking hurry up. It’s only been seven hundred fucking years,” he said, but all the malice had gone from his words.
He didn’t tell her that there was no point in saying such things. He didn’t tell her that Aiden was dead. He didn’t tell her that between one long day and the next he had forgotten Aiden’s birthday and how he liked his rabbit cooked and what his favorite dagger looked like. He didn’t tell her that try as he might he could no longer remember the sound of his voice, or the way that his laugh rang across an empty clearing, or what his hair smelled like. He didn’t tell her that even his face had long since begun to blur, leaving him with nothing but a lingering feeling of safety and longing. He didn’t tell her that all he had left of his lover was a name, a worn medallion and the overwhelming feeling of guilt that plagued him every time he closed his eyes.
OR lambert is an assassin in the 1920s & he meets a rumrunner who he swears hes met before. he doesnt know what to do with his feelings but there are tea cups he can fight
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we have to stop meeting like this by all_hail_the_witcher, JaskiersWolf, king_finn, smai
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
06 Aug 2021
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Summary
Nevermind that, he could still make it on time. He sprinted back down the hall to his room. Now where the fuck had Bastard put his damn pants? They weren’t in the vomit he had barely cleaned up, or on the bed, or the floor, or next to the closet or-
“Holy fuck!” Lambert flattened himself against his closet and tried to grip his wallet as menacingly as possible because what the fuck?!
“Ah, hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.”
Lambert loosened his grip slightly on his wallet, although he still had half a mind to throw it at the man. Not only was he standing in his damn apartment, the intruder was holding Lambert’s fucking pants.
He spluttered incoherently before responding. Where the fuck was Bastard when he needed her! She was the world’s worst guard cat.
“Maybe we would, if you would stop breaking into my fucking apartment!”
or: aiden is a real life cat burglar, lambert is tired, and his actual cat is a nuisance
written as a collaboration for the witcher bog july fic train event
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where were you when i looked good??!? by all_hail_the_witcher for way2fabulous4thislyfe
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
16 Jul 2021
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Summary
“Who decided to make the font on these damn things so fucking small?” he complained to himself as he searched for the ones that he needed. And of course he had left his glasses at home. “And why the fuck are there so many?”
“Infuriating, isn’t it?”
Jaskier nearly jumped a foot in the air at the deep voice. He had thought that he had been bitching to the nails in peace!
He turned and this time had to lean against the shelf in front of him to keep from falling over because holy fucking fuck nuggets.
or: jaskier is trying and failing to build a table. the one day he goes to the hardware store looking like shit is the one day that he runs into the most attractive contractor he has ever seen. based off a bdylanhollis tiktok.
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5 times Geralt wrote Jaskiers name wrong on his coffee cup + 1 time he didnt need to by all_hail_the_witcher for sapphistication
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
15 Jul 2021
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Summary
“Name?” he asked, still not looking up.
Whatever the customer said got lost in the noise of the shop.
“Could you repeat that?” Geralt asked, looking up for the first time and holy fuck.
The man standing at his register was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. He had dark brown hair that was falling in his bright blue eyes and the little smile on his face that showed off his dimples made Geralt nearly melt. It took all of his willpower to not drop the cup in his hand and keep his eyes on the man’s face instead of the bit of chest hair peeking out from his scandalously unbuttoned, peach colored shirt. It was almost like he was trying to make him swoon.
“Jasper.”
or: geralt (and lambert and eskel) works at his dads coffee shop. an attractive customer comes in one day, but geralt hears his name wrong and the man won't let him live it down. he comes back every day until geralt gets his name right. it drives geralt absolutely insane especially when the man starts giving him increasingly incorrect names just to keep the game going, and lambert gets a fair amount of things to blackmail geralt with. featuring light hurt/comfort at the end :)
Recent series
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kissies for soft tummies, scars and stretch marks by all_hail_the_witcher, sapphistication
Fandom Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
02 Jul 2021
Summary
witchers deserve to be well fed and soft. and they deserve to have their softness appreciated by their partner(s). a series of one shots (or two shots) that include tender love and care for a witcher's softness, stretch marks, and/or scars.
- Words:
- 16,605
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 40
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the say yes to the dress au by all_hail_the_witcher
Fandom Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
30 Jun 2021
Summary
jaskier is a consultant (read: randy with david emanuel's personality) at kleinfelds. geralt is the mysterious dress designer of the rivia brand who doesn't often make public appearances. the two of them meet during one of jaskiers appointments and in a twist of fate, geralt is the one with the brain cell.
- Words:
- 5,797
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 31
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- Words:
- 3,831
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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The Five-Wheeled Wagon by CreativWit, Rose_SK for Rose_SK
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski, The Witcher (TV)
11 Feb 2021
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Summary
Wagons usually have four wheels. It makes sense that way. There really isn't a need for a fifth one, and if it's there, it's either a spare or another unnecessary part to perform a function the other wheels could do just fine on their own. A lot of people prefer to forego the fifth wheel on their carts. Maintaining them cost far too much for most farmers these days, and they didn't have much of a use.
As he staggered into the stables to set Scorpion up for the rest of winter, Eskel never felt more like a fifth wheel.
Prompt 4 for The Writing Corner Bingo Event: "Out of Place"
Series
- Part 8 of Wit and Haven's Eskel Whump Dump
- Part 8 of Event Fics
Bookmarked by all_hail_the_witcher
05 Aug 2021
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An Incomplete Happiness by BlossomsintheMist
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
23 Feb 2020
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Summary
Jaskier is traveling with Geralt when a hunt goes badly wrong and Geralt ends up injured. Geralt soon realizes that the bard can take care of Geralt better than he'd realized, in his own way.
Series
- Part 1 of Mixing Memory and Desire
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,497
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 411
- Kudos:
- 3,591
- Bookmarks:
- 687
- Hits:
- 43,957
Bookmarked by all_hail_the_witcher
17 Jul 2021
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Overwhelmed by crows_and_curses
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
11 May 2020
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Summary
Initially started as a “Geralt overdoses on potions, Jaskier has to help” and then it turned into “Too many potions, too many injuries, and now he’s sick (and Jaskier has to help).
*“Is that…blood?” Jaskier swallowed hard.
Geralt nodded unsteadily. He tried to speak but started coughing instead. That was when Jaskier noticed the red flecks appearing on Geralt’s gloves, joining some that were already there.
“Fuck,” he breathed. “Geralt…you-you’re coughing up…”
“I know,” Geralt rasped. “I know.”*
Bookmarked by all_hail_the_witcher
17 Jul 2021
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Over Easy by Miershooptier
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
17 May 2020
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Summary
Five times Geralt’s eggs were not over easy, and one time they were.
A Waffle House AU inspired by a r/relationships post that I saw on Twitter this week. I'm not affiliated with Waffle House in any way, but I love breakfast food.
https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1260126130687881217
Bookmarked by all_hail_the_witcher
11 Jul 2021
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Its Eyes Are For The Stars by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
16 May 2021
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Summary
Eskel quite likes his job as a fire lookout. It's peaceful, and quiet, and no one flinches at his scars.
It might be nice to find someone who didn't flinch to begin with, though.
Maybe even someone he's been missing for a very long time.
Series
- Part 16 of Inex Writes Flash Fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,797
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 87
- Kudos:
- 2,143
- Bookmarks:
- 209
- Hits:
- 9,719
Bookmarked by all_hail_the_witcher
28 May 2021