brokencomatose



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    “Ah.”

    “‘Ah’,” Ilya repeats, giving him a look before he looks back to the tidily stacked frozen mouse packages in the freezer and makes a face as a little badly-hidden shudder moves through him. “Why the fuck do you have mice in your freezer, Shane? You are doing serial killer shit now? This is why you have cottage in the middle of nowhere? For serial killer things?”

    “It’s for Spaghetti,” Shane says.

    Ilya gives him an absolutely horrified look at that and turns a little green, which makes him remember that Spaghetti isn’t just his snake's name.

    “Not food!” He rushes to explain. “Not food spaghetti! Snake Spaghetti!”

    “What the fuck are you even saying right now,” Ilya says, looking honestly a little concerned that Shane might have something going wrong in his head.

    (Distancing himself from almost twenty years of owning a snake, Shane can indeed see why this situation might be a little alarming for someone on the outside looking in.)

    (It also clues him in to the fact that maybe it’s not just Spaghetti who should have gotten a little adjustment period.)

    (in which i give shane allergies AND a snake)

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    04 Aug 2026

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    Ilya sits down carefully and takes Shane’s hand. “I am going to ask you something, and I want you to try not to freak out, okay? Take a breath, think about it.”
    That sounds… serious.
    “The Centaurs are having a barbeque,” Ilya says. “I would like to go, and I would like you to come with me.”

    Shane meets the Centaurs. As Ilya's close personal friend slash charity partner from Canada.

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    24 Jul 2026

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    Ilya knows that no one loves the same version of a person; his Shane is different to Yuna’s Shane, who is different to David’s Shane, who is different to J.J., or Rose, or Hayden’s Shane. And while Ilya knows he’d fall in love with every single version, he’s happy he gets this one. Happy he gets the Shane who lets himself be trusting, and vulnerable, and honest.

    It makes Ilya wish he could have loved Shane earlier - makes him wish he could have known him longer. But he’s just glad he gets to do it now, here, like this.

     

    (Or, four times people are surprised by Shane’s clinginess, and one time they completely expect it.)

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    22 Jul 2026

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    Wyatt’s gaze flicked from Hollander to Rozanov – who looked absolutely delighted with this turn of events – and back again. “You two follow playoff traditions as well then?”

    Hollander shrugged, still catastrophically casual, “I mean, when we played on different teams we sort of had to. Conflict of interests and all that. But I meant more generally. You know what it’s like, right?”

    Wyatt wasn’t sure that he did, and was suddenly very conscious of the fact that he might not be in the least bit emotionally prepared for whatever was about to come out of Hollander’s mouth.

    “Like, the other day,” Hollander continued, seemingly unaware of the proverbial bombshell he was about to drop. “Ilya tied me up and edged me for…was it two hours?”

    “Three, moyo solnyshko,” Rozanov corrected, sounding like Christmas, his birthday, and the Easter Bunny had all come at once.


    Shane Hollander joins the Centaurs, and the team discovers that their Captain might be a certified menace, but his husband is so, so much worse.

    OR: five times Shane accidentally terrorizes the Centaurs locker room, and one time he chooses to hold back.

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    10 Jul 2026

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    Hi Ilya,

    My name is Shane! I don’t speak Russian, I hope that’s okay. I’m also 25 years old and I love hockey too! So we have some things in common.

    I’ve never written an inmate before. I don’t really know why I’m doing this. I guess I’m lonely. I’m not very good at making friends or dating. I think maybe I can be a bit awkward in person, but I’m good at writing. So I hope that’s okay.

    or Shane Hollander finds Ilya Rozanov on WriteAPrisoner.com and sends him an email.

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    07 Jul 2026