colossalmoron
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“Break, bite, bang,” Frank read aloud after Mel handed the box to him. He was wearing a white muscle shirt and light-coloured sweatpants, which was probably just as good, if not better, for their sex life than any chocolate could be. The only reason they hadn’t had sex already that night was because they just cleared away the dinner plates when she presented the gift to him. “Wow. So eloquent.”
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Mel gets some "sex chocolate" for her birthday and shares it with Frank.
Bookmarked by colossalmoron
01 Mar 2026
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“When’s the last time you washed your hands?” Mel asked.
Frank paused, confused, and then shrugged a shoulder. “Uh - two minutes ago?”
“Have you touched anything since?”
“No. I mean, nothing besides you.”
“Alright. And - do you trust me?”
“Yeah, I trust you.”
“Um, can you - can I do something, and - and can you not laugh at me or be weirded out because I really need this and… and you offered, you remember, you offered to do what you could, no matter what?”
He nodded.
“You remember, Frank, you remember that you said that? You remember that you promised?”
“Yes,” he stressed. Really, what was the weirdest thing she could do? Recite all 118 elements of the periodic table? List all the books of the bible? Rap Hamilton at him really fast without breaking eye contact?
Take his hand and stick two of his fingers in her mouth?
Bookmarked by colossalmoron
01 Mar 2026
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Frank felt a little guilty about leaving Penny with Mel, but Mel insisted it was fine, and since she had a way of making him believe things he probably shouldn't, he stopped checking his phone halfway through the monster truck rally and tried to relish in his one-on-one time with Tanner. If nothing else, he trusted that she would call him if she needed something... and also that she wouldn’t need something to begin with. She was good with all kids, but she was especially good with his kids, and Penny loved her; Penny probably loved Mel almost as much as she loved Frank and Abby. Besides, they had access to three massive buckets of toys and Disney's entire film catalogue. It was going to be fine. He had nothing to worry about. And for a few hours, he stopped worrying.
That was before Mel didn’t answer three of his calls.
Bookmarked by colossalmoron
01 Mar 2026
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“Mel.” Frank sounds tense and serious. She doesn’t like when he’s tense and serious, especially not when she thinks that it might be because of her - why else would he not reply to her picture? “What are we doing?”
“We’re - we’re trading pictures, Frank, like we said we would -”
“Yeah, I know, but… are you seriously gonna tell me that you’re not sending ones where you look hot on purpose?”
The air leaves her lungs in a large, violent breath. She feels like she’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Or like she’s been caught leaving secret, encoded messages on a post-it note inside the lid of the cookie jar without telling anyone the post-it note or even the cookie jar itself is there. She wanted to take cute pictures to send to him this week in the hopes that he would like them, but she didn’t know that he noticed how hard she was working for it, didn’t realize that he realized - oh, God, is her new push-up bra that obvious?
“I’m not - I didn’t - um -”
“Are you alone right now?”
“Yeah, I’m alone.”
Frank sighs on the other end of the line, and she waits patiently for it all to come crashing down.
“What are you wearing?”
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Bookmarked by colossalmoron
01 Mar 2026
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Almost 16,000 people are sent to emergency rooms in the United States each year for injuries sustained during sex.
Thankfully, Dr. Mel King and Dr. Frank Langdon only have to handle a few of them during this shift–no problem for a pair of consummate medical professionals.
But does this shift have to be on a day when neither of them can stop thinking about another kind of consummation?
Bookmarked by colossalmoron
28 Feb 2026