dirty_whorchata
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Recent works
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Summary
Beauty, tradition, and perfection: these are the pillars of the House of Szarr, a centuries-old perfumery owned by creative director and artist Cazador Szarr and shouldered by its next-to-nobody nose, Astarion Ancunín.
Overworked, underpaid, and determined to claw his way out, Astarion finds the perfect blend of unusual charm and genius—and the key to toppling the house for good—when he meets chemistry professor Gale Dekarios.
Or: one perfumer, one professor, one treatise on art, addiction, and the price of ambition.
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Your Hand in Mine by dirty_whorchata for Dummptruck, ForeThot
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
19 Mar 2025
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Gale and Star are not long for this world but they're determined to leave their mark.
Or: cave painting, existential dread, and a tale for the ages.
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On Nightal 20, Waterdeep celebrates the winter solstice by stargazing, making merry, and staying awake all night. As far as Astarion is concerned, hardly a challenge.
In which Astarion and Gale heat up a cold winter night the best way they know how.
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Against his better judgment, Astarion follows Gale home to Waterdeep, his mother, Hundur sauce, and a night to remember.
In which Gale cooks dinner and Astarion is hungry for something else.
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Habeas corpus: “to produce the body”; a summons to bring a detainee before trial.
Rebuilding life in the Underdark has been no easy feat. Astarion resumes his magisterial duties and faces a new slew of personal demons. Between trying to keep a camp of seven thousand vampire spawn alive and faced with the prospect of never seeing the sun again, tensions are running high. You can think of one way to resolve them.
Recent bookmarks
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The Sleepwalking Elite by meatcrimes
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Forgotten Realms (Roleplaying Game)
30 Oct 2024
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Before he was a vampire lord, Cazador Szarr was a spawn. The following events are what took him from the boy he was, to the man he became, to the monster that will not end.
Glossary of Vampire: The Masquerade terms will be in the end notes of every chapter, but for quick reference use the White Wolf Wiki.
Series
- Part 1 of The Kara-Turan Elf
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When Gale was kidnapped by Orin, he was unaware that he would not be rescued at all, but rather kidnapped again FROM her by Gortash. To slave away in the Steelworks Foundry. Given his own personal incentive not to fight back, this did not prevent his defiance. He was instructed not to fail at his duties or he would be punished.
Naturally Gale of Waterdeep, the former archmage and Chosen of Mystra, did not like following rules.
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Put On The Red Light by IndiWritings
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
15 Sep 2024
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Four years ago, sex worker Astarion made the decision to move from the Flophouse to a higher end brothel. The work at the Palace is worse but the money is worth it - or so he tells himself.
So when a rich, dorky wizard turns up in his rooms, it means nothing to him - just another client, right?
Right??
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When Somebody Needs You (BG3 - Astarion) by LalinLavellan
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 Sep 2024
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Heyyy so I have the next chapter pretty much done but a lot has happened in my life (deathes, work issues, health issues, moving, and more) so I'm going to be Hiatus-ing this one for a lil while until I get situated in my new home.
I will also be continuing this when I have more time. This is the one I REALLY wanna finish. But life is hard.
WARNING! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR BG3 IN THIS STORY!
WARNING 2.0! THIS STORY IS VERY SMUTTY AND HAS INTENSE SEXUAL THEMES. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
After defeating the Cult of Bhaal, a copycat is continuing the murders. Before the party can deal with Gortash, they must stop the killer. Solana is a high elf magistrate in the Upper City and is next on the list to die. Bhaal, the killings, and the party play a larger role in her life than she could have realized. The seeds of death have been sown.
I also take a few creative liberties with the story—nothing crazy, just things to help deepen the story.
I don't own any characters, names, places, or ideas of the Baldur's Gate 3 game or Dungeons and Dragons. Larian Studios created Baldur's Gate 3, and Wizards of the Coast owns Dungeons and Dragons, a subsidiary of Hasbro.
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The Crooked Thoughts of Thinking Creatures by the_dork_urge
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
27 Jun 2024
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I wanted to dig deeper into Astarion's nature as a bloodthirsty predator, and this is the fic that came of that. He is neither soft nor fluffy here. Minthara is Minthara. It's a dark timeline version of act 1 events that deviates slightly from canon. I also took some small liberties with spell mechanics for the sake of the story, but tried to stay as true to lore as possible.
This is written from the perspective of an interloper who Astarion would view as acceptable prey, hence I created an OC instead of a Tav. I made up a whole backstory for her and I think she's neat. But uh, don't get too attached.