drownedinlavender
Fandoms
- South Park (1)
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Summary
The Park County School District has finally had enough of Eric T. Cartman's antics. After a series of unforeseen events, Cartman gets admitted into a mental health institute where he can finally get some long over due treatment. Nobody expected him to be gone for so long and to come back somewhat changed.
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Summary
After a strange encounter, Kyle ends up a vampire and, through a twist of fate, he finds himself in an unusual symbiotic relationship with Cartman. It's unsustainable, though, and Kyle is forced to accept the fact that he'll need to regularly kill to survive. Cartman has a plan, however, and the two of them form an unlikely duo and, together, they hunt down and kill deviants such as pedophiles, sexual predators, and neo-Nazis.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,898
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Comments:
- 512
- Kudos:
- 3,445
- Bookmarks:
- 492
- Hits:
- 91,104
Bookmarked by drownedinlavender
10 Jun 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
A staple in the Kyman fanfic verse, an absolute MUST read!! The plot is just like a movie, 10/10 masterpiece 😩👌👌
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Summary
“I’m not admitting I was wrong,” Eric said matter-of-factly.
“Then what are you doing?”
Fixing this, stupid.
Nothing is interesting when you’re not around. I don’t want to lose what little time you spend near me. You’re going to leave us soon to go to fuckin’ Harvard and if you go thinking that I hate you then you’ll hate me too and you’ll never talk to me again and you’ll forget all about me and I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t know what I would do if you never spoke to me again. Because I like you.
I like you.
I…
“I don’t know,” Eric finally said. His words were quiet, his tone unfamiliar. Any vexation that once laid within them was gone.
•••
When Stan Marsh sees something he wasn’t supposed to, a deep secret is uncovered that Eric Cartman has been harboring for eight years. Eric, in turn, makes Stan a deal to keep his mouth shut.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 150,655
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 735
- Kudos:
- 1,704
- Bookmarks:
- 315
- Hits:
- 57,459
Bookmarked by drownedinlavender
29 May 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Truly, a HUGE inspiration for Be Nice to Me!!! It really got me thinking on what a more stable Eric Cartman would look like. 10/10 Kyman masterpiece!
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Summary
~~~He cocked his head curiously. "Are you seriously telling me I'm too evil for Hell?"~~~
Cartman dies and Satan tasks him with performing good deeds on Earth until he can get into Hell. Unfortunately it comes at a few prices, such as only being able to communicate with his best frenemy and having a pair of annoying wings in the way constantly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,863
- Chapters:
- 34/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 170
- Kudos:
- 884
- Bookmarks:
- 82
- Hits:
- 18,444
Bookmarked by drownedinlavender
28 Jul 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Read at your own risk!! It's unfinished but SOOO GOOD!! Characterization is SO on point! And the shenanigans are very Canon adjacent!!
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Summary
After Kyle and Eric disrupt theater class by fighting for the millionth time, a frustrated teacher pulls them aside and punishes them by assigning them an impossible acting challenge; they must convince the school that they are actually in love for a day, or fail the course.
And, well, neither one can afford to fail.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,611
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,078
- Kudos:
- 3,555
- Bookmarks:
- 414
- Hits:
- 70,499
Bookmarked by drownedinlavender
03 Jun 2023
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Summary
“I think as long as you're not being an asshole, I’d rather just fuck you instead,” Kyle’s lips brush against Cartman’s as he says this, a flush spreading with the heat that travels down his chest.
“I can be nice,” Cartman answers.
“Yeah?”
“I can be so fucking nice,” He stresses.
(UPDATE: 12/4/25 - This is currently being rewritten a chapter at a time until I'm no longer embarrassed)
Series
- Part 1 of OMERTA
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,935
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 1,536
- Bookmarks:
- 240
- Hits:
- 34,273
Bookmarked by drownedinlavender
30 May 2023