fire_hazard101



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Bood: And what would this person need to get Roz to settle down?
    Roz: must be most beautiful person you have ever seen
    Roz: very funny but does not know they are funny
    Roz: and suck dick like their life depends on it

    Or: The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    583
    Kudos:
    15,059
    Bookmarks:
    2,500
    Hits:
    74,161

    19 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    What if instead of walking in on Shane and Ilya making out, what if David came across Ilya alone at the Cottage?

    ***

    “I’m David. Hollander. Shane’s dad.” 

    Ilya genuinely couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do. He needed to send out an SOS, but he had set his phone down somewhere and had no idea if it was in the sunroom, bedroom, or bathroom, and wasn’t about to go dash around to hunt it down. And as hard as he wracked his brain, he couldn’t come up with a single plausible explanation for his presence in Shane’s summer home other than, “I’m in love with your son. We have been fucking since we were teenagers. We have a ten year plan.” 

    Instead, what he choked out was, “Sorry. No English.” 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,141
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    209
    Kudos:
    3,675
    Bookmarks:
    654
    Hits:
    19,479

    25 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Kip likes Hunter’s teammates more than he expected to, which is to say not all that much.

    Some of them are good—some of them are great—some of them are terrible, and a lot of them just have no idea how to talk to a queer person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,876
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    321
    Kudos:
    5,003
    Bookmarks:
    1,016
    Hits:
    18,539

    22 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    “Me finding out that instead of mysterious and cool, people think I’m autistic and lesbian.”

    Ilya and Shane get Reddit’s advice under the aliases Lily and Jane. Things spiral from there….

    Words:
    35,142
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1,928

    21 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.

    “You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.

    “…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”

    --

    Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.

    Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,912
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,392
    Kudos:
    16,431
    Bookmarks:
    4,583
    Hits:
    108,753

    12 Feb 2026